

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Racquel Kristi's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
Our name? PopBliss.
We curate beautifully crafted $250,000 week-long secret wedding experiences for multiple couples in a group ceremony—with celebrity guest appearances, industry-leading professionals, luxury gifts, surprises, and excitement around every corner. Our couples and their guests are unaware of the details. All they know is the city and date. Keeping the details a surprise allows our couples to cherish a milestone while focusing on developing a strong union and starting their new journey in the best and most loving place possible.
It's their wedding day—just with five other couples, too.
We design an incredible, customized itinerary with more than six events, including the bridal brunch, cocktail parties, glam and dapper suites, tons of elite services plus a live-streamed wedding viewed across the country, keeping the bride front and center while highlighting the best of the host city.
Through our business model, we've created an unbiased community of couples who align with our core values, which become part of the longevity of their relationship—even after wedding week.
A little background about me: I'm a first-gen American, born to Jamaican parents and raised in New York. My mom was always naturally creative, and my father was always the business-minded dreamer. Most of my personality comes from and is influenced by each of them, but of course, I add a little of my own "curry" to the mix.
Courtesy of PopBliss
I remember the moment I fell in love with hospitality. My mom threw me a Sweet 16 party, and just by witnessing the planning and details she put into my special day, I remember being so enamored. I'd initially wanted to be an entertainment attorney. Ugh. All that quickly faded. A single party changed the course of my life.
I attended Howard University where I began taking classes in hospitality management, mostly because I thought owning a catering hall was what I wanted. I realized I preferred event production after watching The Wedding Planner (thanks, J.Lo!), so I became obsessed with all things event-related: I watched every show, read every magazine and book, and studied the top planners and designers in the world.
I needed to know it all, so I began my journey of getting it.
I wanted to create something no one could ever take away from me, but I didn't want to just be a wedding planner. I instead decided to become a celebration lifestyle brand.
And PopBliss was born.
Since launching, there have been many lessons learned, many setbacks, and many rewarding moments along the way. And most importantly, I've learned so much—good and bad. I remember my favorite wedding: New York, 2016. After several years of working endlessly, spending tons of money, taking lots of risks, enduring sleepless nights, and never giving up, there was a moment at our welcome party when I saw all the couples excited and dancing as they awaited their wedding day. I had a moment when I was lost in the full visual of what was going on. Like, I really built a brand, and everyone around me was appreciating it. It was amazing—a dream come true.
I created this. I did this.
It was surreal for me, and the absolute best moment of not only my event-planning career, but for appeasing that entrepreneurial little girl inside me who wanted to show all that she can do.
Reality soon set in, as we know that with group weddings, there are stigmas that come with it. Many women have their own fairy tale about what they want their wedding to look like.
Share a wedding event with someone else? No way!
People make assumptions. Some think group weddings are cheap and impersonal. Some think of it as a crowdfunding-style celebration or a fancy alternative to courthouse weddings or elopements.
In fact, it's the exact opposite. For us, we focus on the full experience of celebrating your union in a new, creative, individualized celebration that encompasses all that couples find important in their marriage and phase of life. We would never be described as "cheap"—are you kidding me? That would imply a lack of quality, which isn't the case at all. You can't knock something you've never experienced, and group weddings can be extremely magical.
And what's crazy is, I can remember one of my biggest career failures that made me believe otherwise. Just as success comes with the good, success comes with way more bad (whether your favorite entrepreneur admits it or not). I was planning a pop-up dinner party with over 700 guests, and well, let's just say Murphy's Law didn't play nice. Everything that could have gone wrong, literally did. I had thousands of dollars in an account that I couldn't access to pay vendors, our outdoor event site got rained on the night before, the caterer was five hours late, we lost sound, an ambulance had to take someone to the hospital, a team member of mine found out she had a terminal disease the day of the event—the list literally goes on and on. I thought Ashton Kutcher was about to jump out and tell me I was being "punk'd". Like, we got our butts handed to us. That was the day I learned high-level crisis management—and how quickly I could get to my local store for wine.
That was also the day I learned I was built for this.
When I'm overwhelmed, I walk away from whatever or whoever is stressing me and take a moment for myself. Then I do something that makes me happy, like watch a TV show or sit outside in the sun—basically, anything that allows me to collect myself and think through whatever is upsetting me. Also, water is my secret healer. Any time I seek clarity, I take a shower or go swimming. Putting yourself first involves being self-aware of the good and the not-so-good things about yourself. You have to consciously improve. I listen to many speakers on YouTube, and I have a gratitude journal that I write in daily. To relax, I cuddle in my bed and burn a good candle.
To top things off, my computer isn't allowed into my room. My room is for relaxation.
Ultimately, ladies, my world has taught me that love is love. No two people see love and marriage the same way. Both come in many forms and are never one-dimensional. The brides I work with are sure about themselves, what works for them, and what doesn't. They are confident in their unions, which in hindsight is a quality to have in order to be involved with group weddings. These women love celebrating who they are, and they want their style, their house, their partner, and their wedding to reflect that as well.
I've realized that your true love, your soulmate, your twin flame, or someone who might seem impossible to find, can be right in front of you and you never know.
Life gives you what you ask for and in no particular order.
It's not always "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage". Sometimes, it's all in reverse, but regardless of what your ideal love story looks like, the goal is to have healthy, happy, withstanding love. And if standing by five other couples while saying your vows is what that looks like, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
PopBliss is currently accepting applications for couples who wish to tie the knot or renew their vows in a nontraditional, adventurous way. You may visit their website for more details.
If you have a story you'd like to share but aren't sure about how to put it into words, contact us at submissions@xonecole.com with the subject "As Told To" for your story to be featured.
- A DIY Wedding Planning Checklist For Non-Traditional Weddings ›
- Scarlet Plan & Design ›
- Heart & Dash | Wedding Planners serving the Philly, New York ... ›
- Pop! Wed Co. Wants to Plan Your Budget, Non-Traditional Wedding ... ›
- Video: How to Plan a Nontraditional Wedding | Martha Stewart ... ›
- How to Plan a Non-Traditional Wedding | Jojotastic ›
- 10 Tips to Planning a Non-Traditional Wedding – SheKnows ›
- How to throw a non-wedding ›
- How To Plan A Non-Traditional (But Still Chic) Wedding! ›
- 35 Non-traditional Wedding Ideas You May Not Have Thought About ... ›
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Your February 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Self-Love & Soulful Alignment
Explore your sign’s 2025 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
February is a coming together, as a culmination of community and abundance is evident. Some significant planets go direct this month after being retrograde since this past year, and we can finally take a deep breath. We walk into the month in Aquarius season, and the focus during this time is on coming together with the people you resonate with on a soul level, opening your heart to love, and gaining perspective in the process. When the Sun is in Aquarius, everything feels more electrified and inspiring, and this is one of the best months of the year to manifest and set your intentions.On Feb. 4, Venus enters Aries, Jupiter goes direct in Gemini, and the energy and passion return. Venus in Aries is fiery, dynamic, and puts self-love first. While Venus is in Aries for the entire month, February is all about going after the things you want in love, and trusting that you will be supported here. Jupiter goes direct on the same day after being retrograde since Oct. 9, and we can see our blessings manifest more effortlessly now, especially regarding communication matters, networking, short travels, education, and the mind. Jupiter finishes its Gemini transit on Jun. 9, so over the next few months, this is a good time to expand your mind and your vision, get creative, and meet new people.
What February 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
The Full Moon of February occurs in Leo on the 12th, and this is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon brings emotions to the surface and creates self-clarity and honesty in the process. This Full Moon is a time to let go of old versions or ideas of yourself that don’t align with who you are today and to focus on what feels authentic and empowering for you right now.
On Valentine's Day, Mercury enters Pisces until Mar. 3, and the mind is on love right now.
While Mercury is in Pisces, we speak in words of poetry and spirituality, and mental connections turn into romantic ones. This is a beautiful energy to walk into on the day of love, signifying an urge to be around people who truly understand you right now.
Pisces season begins on Feb. 18, and we move into a time of closure, healing, creativity, and introspection. On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in Cancer after being retrograde here since Jan. 6, and being retrograde in general since Dec. 6. With Mars now direct, there is more energy and direction at our disposal, and less confusion on where to go from here. Mars will be direct in Cancer until Apr. 18, and there is a lot of love, support, and intuition to be felt right now. Mars in Cancer supports others while also cherishing boundaries, and this is a good time to feel more stability in matters of the home and heart.
We end the month with a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is a time of magic, dreams coming to fruition, and romance in the air.
A New Moon in Pisces reminds us that what has been lost always comes back around in a new form, and helps us see what our heart is grateful for right now. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for the future and to dream the dream. Overall, February is an inspiring and enlightening month, and your heart is the one leading the way right now.
Read for your Sun and Rising Sign below to see what February has in store for you.
ARIES
February is all about love for you, Aries. You are thriving within relationship matters as Venus is in your sign for most of this month. Venus moves into Aries on Feb. 4 and will be here until Mar. 27, however, Venus will be going retrograde in your sign on Mar. 1. So, use February to walk into some new beginnings in love, but remember to take your time with things here as well. You are overall feeling more reciprocity, support, and positive recognition now, and self-love is key this month.
On Feb. 12, we have a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this Full Moon occurs in your 5th house of romance.
This is a beautiful Full Moon for seeing love bloom and for experiencing a sense of fulfillment that brings you closer to another. Before the month ends, Mars goes direct after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with the home, family, close loved ones, and emotional stability. With Mars now direct here, new foundations can be built in your world, and you feel more supported and secure as you end the month.
TAURUS
This month is a time to reflect, accept, and move into your new beginning, Taurus. There is a lot to process this month, and with the Sun in your 10th house for most of February, a lot of your focus right now is on your goals, purpose, and life path. The Full Moon happening mid-month is an opportunity for you to see things clearer in the home, and to create space for more support and nourishment here. You are letting go of what is weighing you down or making your emotional world feel more difficult to process this month.
Mercury enters your 11th house of hope, community, friendship, and manifestation on Valentine’s Day this year, and you move into a time of inspiration. You are thinking of all the things that make you feel empowered, loved, and in tune, and it’s time to create more of this energy around yourself. We have a New Moon in this same area of your chart before the month ends on Feb. 27, and you are ready to look forward in life rather than at the past of what could have been.
Overall, this month is about listening to your heart and spending more time taking care of yourself.
GEMINI
February is a chance to take a break, Gemini. You need more time to process and prepare for what’s ahead of you, and you are taking the time to do so this month. February begins with Jupiter going direct in your sign after being retrograde here since Oct. 9. Jupiter, the planet of blessings, will be direct in your sign until Jun. 9, and won’t be here again for another decade. This is your opportunity to set intentions, focus on your dreams, and make some important achievements happen.
Extra good luck and support from the universe are with you now, and the key for you is to let things come to you naturally through patience and dedication.
On Feb. 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and some important culminations are coming through in matters of the mind. You are coming to some conclusions about something, and it’s changing your perspective overall. Before the month ends we have a New Moon in an area of your life having to do with your career, professional world, and reputation, and this is a good time to set your intentions for what goals you want to see through right now.
CANCER
February is a month of enlightenment, Cancer. You are aligned with the path you are walking on right now, and everything is starting to make a little more sense to your heart. This month we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving away from an emotionally heavy space. You are letting go of a lot of what has kept you conflicted, and there is a sense of peace that is being obtained in the process. This is your month of inspiring others through your resilience and gift of forgiveness.
Mars goes direct in your sign on Feb. 23 after being retrograde here since Jan. 6. With Mars retrograde in your sign since we began the year, there has been a lot for you to reflect on and emotionally process, and you are seeing yourself and your life with a new perspective and passion. Mars will be in Cancer until Apr. 18, and this is the time to take action on the things that you haven’t been ready to move forward with these past few months. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces, and you are leaving the month in the mood for an adventure.
This is the time to get out of your comfort zone, travel, or do something fun.
LEO
February is about protecting your energy and what you are bringing to fruition in your life, Leo. With a Full Moon in your sign mid-month, you are moving through a time of culmination, release, and inner clarity, and there is a lot to reflect on right now. You are recognizing your need to create boundaries from those who don’t serve you or your life path and are focusing on the things that feel good for you.
With the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month as well, you are gaining clarity on the relationships you want to move forward with, and where you need to create more space.
Venus is in Aries and in your 5th house of romance, self-expression, creativity, and joy for most of the month, and your heart is yearning for some excitement. When it comes to love in February, opportunities are coming to the surface for you to get out of your head and into your heart, heed the call. At the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving into a breakthrough. You end February with less weight on your shoulders and more energy to just be.
VIRGO
Trust your intuition this month, Virgo. February is a month of getting organized, gaining clarity, and feeling purposeful. With Jupiter going direct in your 10th house at the start of the month, blessings follow through regarding your career and professional world. The intentions you have been setting and going over these past few months, are coming to fruition for you now, and you are being recognized and supported for your efforts here. This is a month of feeling a level up in your life, and like you are where you want to be.
Mars goes direct on Feb. 23, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with friendship, community, and your hopes and dreams over the past month or so. With Mars now direct in Cancer, it’s easier for you to feel hopeful and to see and experience the magic in life. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your sister sign Pisces on Feb. 27, and love takes on a new beginning. This New Moon is one of the best of the year for you to set your intentions for love, and trust where your heart is being called to right now.
LIBRA
February is all about perspective and the intentions you are setting in your life through the thoughts you are thinking, Libra. The Sun is in your house of romance and Venus is in your house of partnership for most of the month, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. New developments are coming to fruition within your relationships, and you are reaping what you have sown, feeling grateful for what has come to fruition for you.
This is a beautiful month for travel, moving forward in your partnerships, and feeling more commitment and support in doing so.
With Jupiter also going direct this month, your home life and foundations see improvements and expansion. Anywhere you have been feeling limited here is being lifted for you now, and you are able to breathe and think bigger about what is possible for you and your sense of stability in life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is a chance for you to connect with the people who inspire you, and to let go of anything that doesn’t feel authentic to who you are today or how you feel about things.
SCORPIO
February is a month of feeling loved, Scorpio. Everything's coming together for you exactly how you have envisioned it, and with the Sun in your house of family, support, and foundations, you are feeling closer to your loved ones in the process. We have a Full Moon in your 10th house of career in mid-February, and culminations are coming through in your professional world, as recognition for your efforts and hard work are here for you now. This Full Moon is about taking the time to congratulate yourself for how far you have come and to feel gratitude for your progress in life.
On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in fellow water sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with travel, adventure, spirituality, and education over the past month or so. With Mars now direct, travel plans follow through and it’s easier for you to see the bigger picture. The New Moon of the month takes place on Feb. 27, and this is a beautiful time for you to experience joy and pleasure. You are ending the month by making your inner child happy, showing up, and connecting with the love that surrounds you now.
SAGITTARIUS
This month is a transition month for you, Sagittarius. You are moving on from what has been, and a few of you may even be moving physically or traveling during this time. This is a month of getting into new energy and letting things go where it is needed. February begins with your ruling planet Jupiter going direct after being retrograde since last fall, and you are able to experience more of the blessings in love that you have been looking for.
Love turns a new page this month, and it’s because you are no longer settling for things that don’t align with what you want for yourself or your future.
On Feb. 12, a Full Moon is happening in an area of your life that has to do with your passion, inspiration, travel ventures, and perspective, and you are getting the full picture right now. This Full Moon is about accepting the truths that have come to the surface and following through on plans that you have had for yourself. Mars goes direct in your 8th house of transformation on Feb. 23, and you end the month experiencing a personal breakthrough. A lot is changing for you in February, and you are the one leading these efforts forward because you are owning the life you deserve.
CAPRICORN
A new month is here, and you are looking forward to all of the new experiences you are about to get into, Capricorn. February is an inspiring, passionate, and eye-opening month for you and you are making a lot of progress. With the Sun in your 2nd house of finances, values, and self-confidence for most of the month, you are spending a lot of your time developing new plans and intentions for yourself, especially financially. Mid-month we have a Full Moon in your 8th house of shared resources, and the support that you need to thrive and expand financially right now is becoming clearer to you.
Towards the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your sister sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with love, partnership, and harmony over the past month or so. With Mars moving forward again, so are you in love, and your relationship dynamics feel a little more balanced and empowered for you. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces to close out the month, and this New Moon for you is all about setting your intentions regarding communication, networking, and the ideas you want to build off of right now.
AQUARIUS
Your season is here, and everything is falling into place for you now, Aquarius. This is a month of feeling a positive culmination of everything you have been working towards, and seeing the rewards for your efforts. With the Sun in your sign until the 18th, all eyes are on you and you are focused on your personal goals, investments, and self-courage. Jupiter goes direct as we begin the month, turning things around for you in love and helping you see things with a new perspective here.
Blessings and understanding within relationship matters bloom for you now, and you can finally take a break from the confusion here.
With Venus in your 11th house of friendship for most of February, this is the month for connecting with the people who you resonate with on a soul level and giving your heart more time to enjoy the company. The Full Moon happening mid-month occurs in your opposite sign, highlighting your romantic life and sense of partnership. Love comes full circle as you let go of the past here and see the gifts of the partnerships you have been building in your life.
PISCES
February is your month of abundance and opportunities, Pisces. There is a lot to tend to this month, but you have the empowerment and passion to do so. Jupiter goes direct in your 4th house as the month begins, and you are feeling stronger foundations emotionally and within the home right now. Progress is being made in the spaces that are close to the heart, and you are feeling the blessings of support and stability in your life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is about letting go of unhealthy daily routines or habits and giving yourself more space to figure out what feels right for you.
On Valentine's Day this year, Mercury enters your sign, and your mind is focused on love, understanding, and connection. The conversations you are having now are fulfilling your heart and inspiring you, and you are gaining clarity in relationship matters as well. Pisces season officially begins on Feb. 18, and it’s your time to shine, to love, and to be loved in return.
Before the month ends we have a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is one of the best times of the year for you to set your personal intentions, manifest, and reinvent yourself.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Know what I’m old enough to remember? MCI phone cards. Billing phone calls to third numbers. Beepers. Two-ways. A life without cell phones (let alone smartphones) and the internet. So, you know what all of this meant, right? Communication, especially communication with a bae, was oftentimes expensive and/or challenging, and, especially if it was a long-distance situation, it required that you be prepared to write at least a few letters from time to time.
Now? Well, let me put it this way: When’s the last time that you sat down to handwrite a grocery list, let alone a love letter? Oh, please believe that I am pointing the finger at myself too because, these days, even I attempt to jot down a quick message in a greeting card, I think about how stellar my father’s penmanship was and I’m damn near mortified in comparison…all because I don’t handwrite things, nearly as much as I should. SMDH.
Y’all, technology has its pros. When it comes to romance and intimacy, especially, it can also have its cons too. As I say often, in the wise words of the philosopher Aristotle, “The excess of a virtue is a vice” and y’all, just think about it: shooting a quick text vs. making the time to share your thoughts in your own handwriting this Valentine’s Day — which one do you think would make the bigger and longer impression? Which one would move the heart more?
Shoot, not to mention the fact that our society shells outa whopping $27.5 billion on the holiday each and every year. Hmph. I recently saw a social media post where a woman said that a man who is “trying to get with you” should spend no less than $1,000 on V-Day. SMDH…AGAIN. If you’ve read enough of my content, you know that I am not team “drain a man,” especially when it comes to a fleeting holiday.Relationships should always be about reciprocity, so if you don’t want simply a card and a hug on February 14, be prepared to give more than that.
However, I will also say that when it comes to conveying romance, being creative, and showing someone how thoughtful you can be, a handwritten letter is a very nice touch. And so, in the spirit of Cupid’s Day, if you and your partner are sexually active, you can really make his toes curl if the letter that you write happens to be a SEX LOVE LETTER.
Let’s discuss.
Don’t Let Technology Talk You Out of Writing a Letter. Here’s Why.
Getty Images
My godchildren’s mother must have stock in Hallmark because, if there is one thing that she is going to do, it is send cards while making sure that her daughters do the same. It’s a great practice, one that I remember doing while I was growing up as well. Since my mother kept some of the ones that I sent to my grandparents when I was little, it’s actually a great memory to look back on (via photo albums). However, beyond taking a walk down memory lane, there are other reasons why writing a letter is a beautiful gesture.
For instance, when you think about shooting someone a quick text — really, who benefits more? If you’re really honest with yourself, it’s probably you because texting is convenient and saves a lot of time. And that’s just my point. Handwriting a letter? It requires you making the time to share your thoughts and feelings and who doesn’t want to feel like someone values them enough to spend time that they won’t ever get back on them?
Another reason why writing a letter is bomb is because, something that I will sometimes recommend that my clients do, is write letters to each other, even if/though they live in the same house.
Handwritten letters give you the opportunity to really think about what you want to say which ultimately tends to make the messages a lot more meaningful. Something else that’s wonderful about letter writing is you can put so many personal touches on it — from the stationery that you choose to the scent that you put on the paper to whether you want your words to be in print or you’d prefer to pen them in cursive.
And then, there’s a reason that’s tied to a sappy film that I just watched (again) on Tubi over this past weekend — a romantic movie that I can’t freakin believe turns 15 this year (what is time, people?!): Dear John (Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried). Definitely one of the elements that made it so sweet and precious to watch was the fact that John (Tatum) and Savannah (Seyfried) spent an entire year writing letters back and forth to one another while he was on military assignment.
How can you not feel loved when someone puts in that kind of effort? Yeah, folks don’t handwrite letters like they used to — that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t, though.
How a Handwritten Love Letter Can Benefit Your Relationship
Getty Images
Although probably no one can be absolutely certain about the origin story of a love letter, I do like that one article that I checked out said that probably the Song of Solomon is probably a good place to start. If you’ve ever checked some of those chapters out, the words are poetic, sensual and even intense at times. And even though other love letters that followed may have been due to the fact that distance prevented couples from being able to talk face-to-face, let’s not act like history doesn’t also tell us that love letters were a form of wooing. It is a way of documenting your interest, affection, admiration and desire for the one you care so deeply for.
Something else that’s dope about love letters is it’s a way to document the journey of your relationship with someone — it’s also a solid way to hold yourself accountable to the words that you speak. Case in point: something that I oftentimes advise my clients to do is jot down a list of 10-20 things that made them choose their partner. Then I ask them to post it somewhere where they and their partner can see it on a daily basis (like a bathroom mirror or kitchen’s refrigerator). That way, on the not-so-great days, they can refer to the list and remember to see things from a broader perspective than how they may be feeling at the moment — and that can help to reignite their feelings so that they can get back on track.
One more beautiful thing about love letters? It can help you to express your love for your partner in a way that you may not be able to otherwise. While, in a conversation, you might simply say, “I love you,” in a letter, you probably will be more compelled to expound upon why — and that can make you feel more confident in the relationship while affirming your partner at the same time. Perfect.
What I’m basically saying here is that a love letter can plant seeds in your relationship that will flourish in ways that you couldn’t even imagine at the time that you actually wrote it. And if it can do all of that…imagine what a SEX LOVE LETTER is able to do.
What’s the Difference Between a Love Letter and a Sex Love Letter?
Getty Images
Although, on the surface, I’m sure you get that a “regular” love letter is about mostly about love while a sex love letter is pretty much about sex — the thing that I really want you to get is that the focus of the latter needs to be about how you feel about your sex life with your partner through the lens of love. To make this make more sense, I’m going to use synonyms for love that can be applied to sex:
- What do you especially APPRECIATE about the intimacy that you share with him?
- What EMOTIONS do you feel while you’re having sex with each other?
- What drives your PASSION for him?
- What do you CHERISH the most about your moments, in bed, together?
- What about his body do you RELISH?
- When you think about him, what causes you to have feelings of LUST?
- Is he a TENDER kisser or lover? If so, expound on that.
- What happens during sex that you really LIKE?
- What about him, sexually, are you PARTIAL to above all others?
- What about sex, with him, do you ENJOY the most?
See…a sex love letter. If you answer these 10 questions, in your own words, on some pretty stationery, that has a scent that he adores (or arouses him like a blend of lavender and pumpkin), and maybe you even put a sexy pair of thongs into the envelope and then mail it to him (my personal favorite) or put it under his pillowcase, on his car seat or in his gym bag — how could your man not feel seen, wanted and even respected, even sexually, by you? And how could that not make this a very special Valentine’s Day?
___
I will never forget when a husband once told me that the best thing that his wife ever did for him was present a set of flashcards that had nothing but positive adjectives to describe how she felt about him: “Women don’t get the power of their words sometimes. They really can build or kill.”
This Valentine’s Day, “build your man up” by letting him know, lovingly, what intimacy with him truly means to you. You never know how he will return the favor.
In my experience, when a man is celebrated in this way…it is oftentimes…TENFOLD.
In and out of the bedroom. #wink
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by rez-art/Getty Images