As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Maya's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
Neptune illusion. My Venus was opposing my Neptune in my chart--that's how it started. If you're into astrology, then you know what this means. If not, it's another way of saying, "I didn't listen." I was seeing my relationship with rose-colored glasses. Sometimes we see people with the good energy we have and we try to project that onto them, energy that they don't have by the way. But it's all a lie.
2016. What a terrible year. I was in such a bad head space in life. My energy was always drained, and I was having confidence issues. I never felt good in my own skin or in my abilities.
And why? I was in a toxic relationship.Giphy
It all started when my boyfriend and I planned to attend an event catered to rappers, singers, creatives, artists, influencers, and more, in LA. And because we had all the same friends, we decided to go as a group. I actually planned to meet everyone there because I had some things to take care of first, so I came about 30 minutes after our group did. When I arrived, I texted him to let him know I was there but he didn't respond. In fact, no one in our group was responding.
In their defense, the cell phone reception was terrible, I couldn't get through, and no one was answering. This particular event was massive; there was no way I was going to just run into them, so I decided to go in and see if I knew anyone else. Roughly an hour later, I got in contact with one of the people in the group, and linked up with them. Finally, right? Hm.
I see my boyfriend and we hug and greet each other the way we usually do and we all decide to walk around. The event was a vibe, I loved everything about it. We were taking pictures, meeting people, chatting with other artists and celebs--just really getting involved in the mix of things.
But unbeknownst to me, during the time I was lost, he met this girl. Let's call her 'Ashley.'
Ashley was an artist; a singer. Actually kind of popular, you may know her. She does her thing out here, not gonna lie, very beautiful woman as well. Anyway, my boyfriend met this girl, and what he told me was it wasn't on a flirty tip or anything, just a networking vibe, which I respected. The event was over and we went back to our relationship bliss, literally living our best lives together because we had what I thought was a great relationship.
He started doing subtle things--things like getting real funky about his phone. But I would always write it off as me being paranoid because he just did all this great stuff for me, or because 'we had a great Valentine's Day' or whatever the case may be. But it wasn't right, y'all, something just wasn't right. And it slowly started to eat away at me. I tried to ignore it, y'all, I tried.
Additionally, during that time, I was exploring and becoming more in tune with my spirituality, and I had just got my first deck of tarot cards. Now, I'm flipping cards all day long, but at that time, I remember I was nervous pulling the cards--almost scared (I grew up in a Christian household, and there's a lot of things they tell you about magic and divination, as such I had to release those belief systems and fear around those things). But anyway, I remember I started asking the cards and asking my intuition to speak through me and basically tell me what's going on.
Is he cheating on me? Card: Yes.
Is he cheating on me? Card: Yes.
Is he cheating on me? Card: Girl, yes.
Y'all, I asked multiple, multiple, multiple times. And the answer always came up as 'yes.' But wait, this can't be right. Am I doing something wrong? Am I pulling my own thoughts into the reading? I would have dreams about him cheating, are these dreams infiltrating my thoughts? Am I denying my intuition?
It was time to go see my psychic.Giphy
I went to one of my favorite psychics that I always go to, and I basically straight up asked him. I didn't sugar coat it at all, I needed the truth and I knew he would give it to me (which sidebar: if your psychic doesn't give it to you raw and uncut, then you need to find a new one).
He told me that my boyfriend wasn't physically cheating on me yet, that he wasn't having sex with anyone, but that eventually he would and he gave me a time frame.
He told me he was going to meet this girl soon and when he does, it's not good, it's not pretty. I was devastated. I was disappointed. This was my soulmate. What am I supposed to do? What would you do?
It never occurred to me that the process had already started.
One morning, I had to get up early and when my alarm went off, I went for his phone to set the timer for a few more minutes. When I tell you he woke up out of his sleep and snatched his phone back so fast, like...I couldn't believe it. I knew exactly what it was. He went back to sleep and I grabbed his phone and began to go through it, and there it all was. Him and Ashley flirting, going back and forth, discussing being in a relationship, and more. They were planning to link up the next day to do their thing and all.
As for me, it was my first heartbreak.
My mind was going crazy. I woke him up, told him to leave, and that was it. I was done.
I tell my story for this reason, ladies: red flags are real. I had all the signs, I had all the confirmations, I had the answer I was looking for all along. My spirit was frickin yelling at me and I was stuck in this Neptune delusion. Society teaches us that we can't trust psychics or that it's magic crap that we cannot apply to our lives, and that's simply not true. Trust your psychics. Your divine feminine energy is your gift.
I think back to this relationship, and realized I was so insecure at this time, which basically determined why and how I behaved or accepted other's behaviors towards me. It took me a long time to bounce back and to really find myself. So, always listen to your divine intuition, always listen to what your heart is telling you. Your angels will speak, your Gods will speak, and most importantly, your higher self will speak to you and guide you as they should.
And a good psychic, too.
Jaelyn is a spiritual guru who specializes in helping women awaken their inner goddess. Her mission is to bring the world content that uplifts, enlightens and makes people laugh too. Follow her on Instagram @itsbabyj.
Featured image via Jaelyn/@itsbabyj