![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![A Beginner’s Guide To Tarot Cards, According To An Expert](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8zNjUzNDQwOS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTczMjM3OTExN30.A94pwtIdw1vNWjUlDcJBnw8AGSzX5tncm7yaxpCPcBQ/img.jpg?width=1200&height=600&quality=90&coordinates=0%2C177%2C0%2C177)
A Beginner’s Guide To Tarot Cards, According To An Expert
Tarot cards are a divination tool that has been used for many years to connect people to source energy, God, or the universe at large (whatever you believe in). Tarot cards are said to have originated from a North Italian game called Tarrochinni, and it wasn’t until the 18th century that they began to be used for divination and occult purposes.
Today, tarot cards are used in many spiritual practices and can be used for your own personal use for some extra guidance when you need it. Your intuition and divine insight are always the strongest tools for you to use, however, tarot cards are a medium that can help you get there.
What Type of Tarot Deck Should I Get?
For those who already know some basics about tarot cards, have had a reading before, or understand the gist of things, working with the original Rider-Waite Deck would be a good starting point for you. Some images of this deck are a bit more graphic and could scare some beginners away, but if you already understand the meaning of them, then the messages won’t be as shocking when they come.
If you are completely new to tarot cards, I would recommend starting with an Angel Tarot Card Deck, an Animal Tarot Card Deck, or a Modern Tarot Card Deck rather than the traditional Rider-Waite Deck. The images on the modern versions of the original tarot cards are easier to take in, especially if you are more of a visual person or just beginning your tarot journey.
After some time, and when working with different decks, you will have your favorites and have other decks you use on certain occasions. The perfect tarot deck will vary between each reader, and if one deck doesn’t feel right for you or the messages aren’t clear, go for a different one.
Almost every deck comes with a booklet of the meaning of each card, and this component is essential, as it will help you study the deck and the cards so that you can understand the messages when they come.
The Meaning of the Tarot Cards: What Do the Tarot Cards Represent?
Every tarot card deck comes with 78 cards, each with a different meaning. The cards are divided into Major Arcana cards and Minor Arcana cards. Major Arcana cards hold a strong significance, and if you pull one of these cards, you know something major is happening right now or soon to come. The Minor Arcana cards come up for more everyday issues and day-to-day events. There are 22 Major Arcana cards and 56 Minor Arcana cards.
The Major Arcana cards are cards 0-21. Each of these cards stands alone and doesn’t belong to any of the four suits. The Major Arcana cards begin at 0, 0 being the Fool Card, representing the beginning of a journey. The last card of the Major Arcanas is 21, The World Card, representing the end or culmination of a journey.
The Major Arcana deck also involves the infamous Devil Card, which does not, in fact, mean what you may think it does. It really represents unhealthy habits, addictions, relationships, or fears. Same with the Death Card, which, if you pull it, does not mean you are doomed soon- however, it can mean you are going through a transitional phase right now and will be experiencing some closures in your life.
The Minor Arcana cards are divided into four suits: Wands, Swords, Pentacles, and Cups.
- Wands: creativity, passion, action, consciousness, and ego.
- Swords: communication, words, intellect, and conflict.
- Pentacles: finances, money, job, career, and sense of abundance.
- Cups: emotions, love, relationships, and heart energy.
Where Do I Start With Tarot?
Now that you have your deck, it’s time to begin your reading. Creating the right space, environment, and table setting is very important when it comes to reading tarot, and you want to set the right vibe. Make sure the area in which you will be placing your cards is clean, and also preferably put down a tarot cloth or table cloth in which the cards will go on top. It is also important to cleanse the tarot cards as well, and you can do so by waving incense over the cards or even taking a crystal quartz or amethyst crystal and waving it around the cards as well.
Before you begin to pull your cards, take a deep breath, center your mind, and open your heart. Intention is everything when reading tarot cards, and before you begin your reading, set your intention for what guidance you are looking to receive right now or what questions you want answered. If you are reading for someone else, keep the question they have in your mind while pulling the cards, and also ask their guides and angels what message they need to hear right now.
Finally, begin shuffling the deck and mixing the cards. Some prefer to separate the deck into threes before beginning a tarot spread, others feel shuffling the cards is enough. It is imminent to come up with your own practice that you do when you are pulling your cards, to activate the beginning of your reading.
How To Do Beginner Tarot Card Spreads
The tarot spread you use will depend on what you are reading for or what you want to know. If you are looking for some guidance for the day, have one question, or just need a simple pick-me-up, a one-card spread will do. If you want to look at your past, present, and future, then a three-card spread would work best, the past being on the far left, the present being the center card, and the future being the far right card.
Another common tarot spread that is used is the Celtic Cross Spread, which is a little more advanced and involves ten cards, each card representing your present, past, future, hopes, dreams, fears, and everything in between. A good tarot spread to do to start the year, on your birthday, or to see what the next 12 months have in store for you would be a 12-card spread, laying out a card for each month of the year to give you an energy forecast of what you can expect from each month of the coming year.
How To Read Tarot Cards: A Beginner’s Guide to Understanding the Messages
Using your intuition when reading tarot cards is key to understanding the message. Typically, the first thought or instinct you have when reading a card is the right one and one that isn’t tainted by preconceived notions or judgments.
Remember, tarot isn’t about getting the answers you are looking for, it’s about getting the answers you need. Through shuffling and doing readings often, you will notice that some of the cards will be upside down when you pull them. If you pull a card and it’s upside down, that is a message in itself. The way you read a card that is upside down is you take its original message and assume its opposite.
So, say you pull the Hanged Man, and it’s upside down. Then, the original message of the Hanged Man which is to pause, wait for better conditions and have patience- is reversed. The message for you here would be that the wait is over, and you will be moving forward again and out of stagnation. Not everyone prefers to read upside-down cards when they come up, and it will be up to you if you choose to read your cards in that way.
As you work with tarot cards more often, you will notice more about how your own intuition comes about, what messages you see, and what practices work best for you. Divination is used to help you see what path you are currently on and what path you are headed towards. Tarot cards are less about “seeing the future” and more about understanding it and what you can do now to create it.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by SeventyFour/Getty Images
Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by PeopleImages/Getty Images