

A fun fact about my life is, once upon a time, I was the spokesperson for Miss Black USA. It's a long and somewhat layered tale, but I will say that I appreciated the opportunity to have my moment to answer the ever so popular pageant question, "So, if you could change one thing about the world, what would you do?" The more time that I'm on this planet and the more that I learn about human beings (whew chile), the more my answer has evolved into, "I want people to know their purpose and focus on that, so that they can thrive in it."
Purpose is all about what we were created to do. This means that if you're not living out what you were made to do, on some level, your life is gonna suck. Sorry but I don't know any other way to put it. Because it doesn't matter how much money you've got, how popular you are or how much others may deem you as being successful, none of that really matters if you're not living out what you were made for. And you know what? Once you get clarity about what your purpose is, you typically find yourself only wanting to be in relationship—which means being intimately connected to, on some level—people who 1) are also in their purpose and 2) can help you to further progress on your own.
We're just a hop, skip and jump away from a new year. If there is one thing that I desire for all of us, it's that we slide into a new calendar year being very clear about what we're designed to do and also that we make sure that every relationship we have has some real purpose to it.
You Both Know Why the Connection Exists
To be fair, the definition of a relationship isn't just a connection; it's also an involvement or an association. That's a part of the reason why I've written articles on the platform like, "Always Remember That Friendships Have 'Levels' To Them" and "According To Aristotle, We Need 'Utility', 'Pleasure' & 'Good' Friends"; it's because the reality is that some relationships go way deeper than others—and that is perfectly fine. However, when it comes to being in a relationship that truly serves a purpose, there needs to be a strong and solid connection. The two people involved need to be crystal clear on why they are choosing to "link their lives" together, what each other's strengths and weaknesses are (when it comes to how they can balance each other out and hold one another accountable) and how they can help one another to grow even more in their individual purpose, even if it's just through encouragement and support.
There is one particular friend that I have who is also my closest confidant. It didn't just "evolve" into that. We discussed it beforehand because, listen to me when I say that you can find yourself disillusioned and disappointed, A LOT, if you're out here assuming that someone should serve a particular role in your life instead of actually discussing it with them to see if they want that kind of responsibility (check out "10 Questions To Ask Your Close Friends Before The New Year Begins" and "Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?"). Because we are clear on what being a confidant means, we only continue to grow when it comes to becoming a safe place to share information. And because we know that is a huge part of what our relationship is about, there is no confusion that what we say, no matter what, stays between us. Even if other dynamics of our connection change over time.
There is so much peace and understanding that comes into your life, once you know why you are doing what you do. This applies to relationships too. If you consider a particular relationship to be one of great purpose, you should definitely be able to explain why that is the case.There Is an Undeniable Spiritual Connection
It's kind of unfortunate that when some folks hear the word "spiritual", they automatically think "religious". At the same time, when a lot of church folks hear "spiritual", they automatically think that is low-key denouncing religion (check out "What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?"). If you really know what both words mean, they actually can work hand in hand (even the Bible says that true religion is taking care of widows and orphans while not allowing this world to totally jack you up—James 1:27).
For instance, one of the reasons why I like the word "platonic" so much is because one of its main definitions is spiritual love. How dope is that? Even though a platonic relationship consists of two people who have no physical attraction or sexual desire towards one another, there is still a profound spiritual connection that makes what two people share extremely special and sacred.
And what "is" that exactly? Something that a writer by the name of Dr. Maya Spencer said, when it comes to what it truly means to be spiritual is, "Spirituality involves the recognition of a feeling or sense or belief that there is something greater than myself, something more to being human than sensory experience, and that the greater whole of which we are part is cosmic or divine in nature." To me, this means that a purposeful relationship consists of two people who recognize a higher power and through that acknowledgment, they are just as concerned about how to improve the quality of other people's lives as well as their own.
If you ask a lot of married couples for the key to what not only keeps their relationship healthy but also what helps their union to last, many are going to say something along the lines of the fact that their dynamic isn't just about them; they include God and putting each other's others needs on the very top of their daily priority list.
The same thing applies to purposeful relationships overall. Both people are spiritual on their own. Both people care about the spiritual health and well-being of the other. And selflessness takes priority over being selfish. Relationships that operate within this kind of space? They are easily able to go the distance.
You Make Each Other Better
There used to be a guy who I was absolutely crazy about. Sometimes, when I reflect back on the journey, I'm not sure how much emphasis on "crazy" that I should put on it—you know, since the famous definition of insanity is doing the same thing while expecting the same result. AN-Y-WAY, I remember some mutual friends of ours, who happened to be married, once said to me, "I see exactly why [so-and-so] needs you in his life. I'm not so sure how he benefits you, though." Lawd. LAWD.
Remember how I already touched on a purposeful relationship needing to have a clear, strong and spiritual connection? Well, here's the thing. In order for a connection to be a true one, a real one, a fruitful one, words like "join", "unite" and even "communication" must apply as well. And you can't really do any of these things from a one-sided perspective. In order for a connection to work, both people must play a consistently active role. That said, when the connection is truly full of purpose, you both need to be invested in making one another better individuals. This includes holding each other accountable. This includes respecting one another's gifts, talents, personality, needs and desires within the relationship. This includes honoring the fact that the two of you are in the position to be connected at all.
The people I know who are living out a life of purpose, they value their time in a way other people don't. A part of what comes with that is making sure that the individuals who they are in relationship with are able to leave their presence feeling better, on some level, than they were before coming into it.
When you reflect on your relationships—both personal as well as professional—can you say this about "them"? What's equally as important is, can they say the same thing about you? Being in purpose is always going to elevate you as a person. This means that your purposeful relationships will also.
Competition and Envy Are Out the Door
Back in my sexually active days, one of the things I used to semi-jokingly say is, while some of the men in my life, I would do differently if I got a do-over, for the most part, I would probably walk around in the mall with them and not be embarrassed to run into anyone that I know while I was there (I would even introduce them—LOL). Well, kinda along these same lines, when I think about the relationships that I've currently got in my life? I'm proud of each and every one of them too. I mean, not to brag (because I don't have anything to do with the fact) but about 80 percent of them are some super bosses, on some really meteoric levels. Like, they are really out here doing the damn thing.
Sometimes, when I'm in an interview, I'll get asked if it's hard to not be in competition with folks who are so successful in my world. Honestly, it's not. For a few reasons. One, while it wasn't necessarily by design, I don't have a lot of people in my world who do exactly what I do (for the most part, that's write, marriage life coach and doula). We're all in our own lanes, so it's hard to be jealous of something that you don't even participate in anyway. Two, because my relationships have purpose, I get why each individual is in my world and, there is something so "different from me" that they bring to the table that I appreciate it more than envy it. And three, I'm too busy in my own purpose; I don't have time to be competing with anybody else.
This part could really be its own article yet please hear me when I say that it's super toxic to be in a relationship with someone who envies you or that you envy. More times than not, it usually means that either one of you is not in your "purpose lane" or one of you is greedy AF because you are too busy focusing on someone else's come up rather than your own.
Purpose has no room to wish it was something else. Life simply demands too much of it for such an unhealthy and counterproductive mindset. That's why I definitely had to include that another sign that you're in a relationship that is full of purpose is there is no competition or envy between the two of you. You're both thriving as individuals which means there simply is no need.
A Profound Level of Reverence, Regard and Recognition Is at the Relationships Core
If you really stop to think about it, when you know that you are operating in your purpose, doesn't that already come with a level of reverence, regard, and recognition to the Most High for giving you one in the first place? So, why wouldn't your relationships—the ones that you consider to serve a significant purpose in your life—also come with those three things?
Reverence is all about having a deep respect for someone and respect is about esteeming and valuing them. Y'all, it's another article for another time, the amount of relationships that end up becoming toxic, simply because while some level of mutual love and care exists, what is missing overall is respect. Regard is about having a level of concern for another person. It's when another individual takes a special interest in the welfare and happiness of someone else. When it comes to this, if you've got people in your life who are only there because you're regarding them while they show very little regard for you in return, I wouldn't consider that to be a purposeful relationship. A lesson, maybe. A necessary connection? Probably not. Recognition is important too. It's all about feeling like you are truly seen, heard, and considered; it's about having your needs and feelings validated as you do the same for others.
Sometimes, we can't get to the relationships that are truly beneficial for us because we're not making things like reverence, regard, and recognition as important as we should. Yet if you want to be in purpose-filled connections, those three "Rs" absolutely must exist.
There Is Continual Progress
An author by the name of Alfred A. Montapert once said, "Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress." Another wise person once said, "There are only two options: make progress or make excuses." Martin Luther King once said, "Whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." Progress keeps moving forward. No excuses.
There's a woman I know who's been dating a guy for over a decade. That actually wouldn't be that big of a deal (to me) if it wasn't for the fact that she desires marriage while he has been on the perpetual fence of if he ever wants to jump the broom or not. Whenever I think about them, the quote, "You'll never been good enough for a man who isn't ready" comes to mind. See, it's not that he doesn't care about his girlfriend; I know that he does. It's that they ultimately want different things—she wants a ring and he wants to remain single. That doesn't make him a bad guy (not at all); however, it does make you wonder how purposeful the relationship is since time waits for no man or woman—and she's waiting on a guy who may have no problem with her waiting forever (check out "Ever Wonder If Your Man Is Actually Holding You Back In Life?", "10 Single Men Shared Some Thoughts They Wish Women Would Take At Face Value", "6 Signs You're Trying To Prove Your Worth To A Man (& How To Stop)", "Here's How You Know He Won't Commit To You. Like, EVER." and "He Loves You. He's Just Never Gonna Marry You. Now What?").
Purpose makes progress. There's no way around that. When I think about my purposeful relationships, I can clearly see signs of how we've both grown as individuals and how our connection has matured and evolved as well. There's nothing stagnant about what we've got going on—we're ever-advancing, expanding and improving because that's what a part of what we're created to do, both together as well as apart.
I was just telling a friend of mine that it seems like I just had a birthday and now I'm just six months away from having another. Life is so fleeting, y'all. Too fleeting to be out here putting our time, effort and energy into people, places, things or ideas that don't have a real purpose to them. We're just days away from another year. Do yourself a really big favor and figure out if your relationships have purpose. If they do, send them a thank-you note. If they don't…well, you've got some serious pondering to do. Make sure that you do it too.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Lizzo Talks Confidence: 'I Love The Person I've Become Through It All & I Think That's The Real Prize'
Lizzo is reflecting on her healing journey while giving the girls advice about confidence. The "Truth Hurts" singer has faced unfair criticism throughout her career for being a plus-size woman who embraces her curves. However, she recently went through a body transformation, which she calls a "weight release," and was criticized yet again.
But through it all, we've seen her hold her head high and continue to collect checks and awards. Lizzo stopped by The Breakfast Club recently and opened up about self-love, confidence, and healing.
When co-host Charlamagne Tha God asked Lizzo the difference between confidence and healing, The "Still Bad" artist replied, "I think people can fake confidence, but you can't fake healing. You can't be fake healed."
Lizzo explained how faking confidence can actually help you in the long run. "There's a lot of people who walk around and they can pretend to be confident and actually, I think that's what confidence's intention is, is to be used a little artificially. The fake it to you make," she said.
"Then, eventually you get there because my confidence, I had to force it. I had to fake it for a long time because I didn't grow up in a world where they were like, 'you're beautiful' and 'your body is beautiful' and 'we like you,' 'we like your personality.' 'Yeah, you watch anime and listen to rock music, we accept you.'
I was very like 'other' and I think I had to be like, 'no, you are good enough,' 'you are worthy of love,' 'your body is beautiful,' even when I didn't believe it. I think that eventually, if you say something enough, it can come true. You can manifest it, you can create your reality and I think I got there by faking it."
When it comes to dealing with negativity, Lizzo is learning to let the not so nice comments roll off her back and give grace. "People are as kind to others as they are to themselves and if somebody is throwing hatred or saying something mean-spirited about somebody, just for the sake of doing it, I can't imagine how you talk to yourself," she said. I can't imagine how you think about yourself and treat yourself when no one's watching and for that, Ive already won."
She added, "I love the person I've become through it all and I think that's the real prize. That's the real reward."
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