Juju & Cam’ron’s Breakup After She Earned Her Master's Degree Is A Lesson On Outgrowing Your Partner
One of the most bittersweet pains is losing a grip on love at an intersection between growth and complacency.
In some instances, the reason why we fall in love with a person for the comfort that they bring us is one of the factors for a relationship losing its last petal. When we grow inward, we tend to outgrow the things that surround us; a relationship is not omitted. Sometimes for our own evolution, we disconnect from the things that we knew for so long. For Juju, her recent accomplishments are a testament to her growth as a woman, a business person, a brand, and a student.
Finding our own way can come at the cost of losing things that are precious to us, but her recent reflections on her past relationship teach us that it is okay to seek more for yourself.
Juju, who was introduced to the world as Cam'ron's girlfriend, is turning into a mogul in front of the public eye. Currently on the show of Love and Hip Hop, the writer, model, and real estate owner also just received her Master's degree from Barry University. Prior to meeting Cam, Juju was working at an airport and working towards her real estate license in Florida. During their relationship, she was able to learn from Cam on the business side and began to find herself through creating herself. With her best friend by her side and her innate hustle, she was unstoppable. But it seems as though her success created a rift in the relationship between her and Cam.
In an interview with The Breakfast Club, Juju maturely expressed her point of view with the ending of the relationship.
"I would say that we were growing apart. I wouldn't blame Instagram or anything like that. I would just say that we're going in different directions. There were some things that I wasn't going to compromise and one of those things was I'm going to be respected. Because I show you that respect."
The two broke up more than six months ago but went public in November of 2017. For a year or so, there was a progressive decline taking place - Cam'ron stopped inviting Juju out to things that she was involved with since their friendship fifteen years prior. Juju's separate life of becoming the woman she wanted to be began to take a toll on the dynamic.
It isn't impossible that a woman's transition into her independence can become a threat to her partner, especially when the dynamic began with a partnership that was rooted in need. Juju's development in her career and her academia were not rooted in a need for someone else, but rather her choice to better herself and grow.
""I'm sorry I can't be the 2009 Juju. This thing called life is about elevating and growing and if that makes me not fun, I'm okay with that."
It's a beautiful thing to want more for yourself, to water the garden outside of the home you built inside someone else.
One of the most basic skills of survival is adaptability. When one can adapt to change quicker, it ensures an easier way of survival in a space of change. The same holds truth for relationships. As two humans begin to grow together against the inevitable flow of time, there is bound to be change. For a relationship to survive, it depends on the individual's ability to adapt to the changes that are occurring - especially when one is looking to pluck themselves at the roots and relocate to the greener side.
"I knew he had it in him to make our relationship work because I know what he was capable of doing. So when he stopped doing that, I felt like we were growing apart and going in different directions and that's okay."
When you grow inward, you tend to outgrow many things around you. Old wardrobes from our past lives no longer serve the new woman who desires to walk into different rooms. It's important that we maintain gentleness with ourselves and stay grateful for the time spent in love.
To outgrow a partner is nothing to be ashamed of, but to look at with eyes of thankfulness.
Juju is teaching us that the best type of love is a love that can be walked away from with peace, because that is the type of love that watered you from the inside out.
Watch Juju's full interview below.
Olivia Jade is a writer and creative engineer, intersecting wellness, culture, womanism, and self-development. She waters the flowers in her mind so others can recognize their own internal garden. Link up: @akaoliviajade (Twitter and IG) oliviajade.co
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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