I'm starting this off with a heads up off the rip. If you're someone who gets easily triggered, you might not want to read this on your lunch break. The reason why I say that is because this isn't a feel-good piece by any means. This is the kind of article that has all kinds of "ouches" in it. But, the reason why I think it should be shared is because, as a marriage life coach, if there is one thing that I believe is the cause of so much breakdown between men and women, it's that a lot of us don't want to hear each other out. Well, there's that, then there's the fact that a lot of men assume how all women are while a lot of women spend—or is it waste?—time dictating to men how they should be.
I rock with the Bible pretty hard and Mark 10:6 (NKJV) tells us that, "But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'" (Some of y'all would pass out if you read what I Corinthians 11:1-16 said when it comes to the spiritual purposes of both sexes). To me, this means that 1) God makes us who he desires for us to be and 2) men and women are not supposed to be the same. We are different, by God's design, in order to complement one another; in order to balance each other out. So no, men aren't supposed to think or act just like we do. I think that if we accepted that reality more, there would be a heck of a lot less relational drama and conflict.
And because I witness so much of men overtalking women and women overtalking men (both approaches are pretty disrespectful, by the way), I decided to give some single fellas the time and space to share some things that they feel we as single women don't get, won't accept and/or totally ignore. Why? It's simple. If any of us want to have a healthy relationship with the opposite sex, hearing each other out is paramount. Take a deep breath. Let's begin.
By the way, first names have been changed so that the fellas would feel comfortable being as forthcoming as possible. (That was my choice, not theirs.)
1. “We can truly love you and not want to marry you.”—Allen, 35
A part of the reason why I wrote the article "Single-Minded: So, What If You Like Dating But DON'T Desire Marriage?" is because, it's important to recognize and accept that a lot of people don't have marriage on their menu. Still, that doesn't mean that they aren't interested in love or companionship. It doesn't make them selfish jerks either. This is what *Allen and I talked about.
"I don't know why women assume that if a man cares about you but doesn't want to marry you that he is a commitment-phobe or is out to ruin your life or even waste your time. I actually came from a two-parent household and my parents have a good marriage. That is why I take it so seriously. I don't want children, so I don't really want to get married. I tell all of the women I date that, but for some reason, they think they will change my mind. Or worse, they think that if I say, 'I love you', that should magically change into 'Will you marry me?' up the road. The first shouldn't preempt the other and I think it's pretty unfair to think that love isn't possible without a wedding ring. It very much is. I love you. I just don't want to be a husband. Anyone's husband and that has nothing to do with you. It's just that marriage is not a desire for me. Why is that impossible to understand?"
2. “It seems like a lot of women want to be heard without actually listening.”—Jonathan, 30
Shoot, I'm a woman and even I agree with *Jonathan on this one. Take it how you will, but when I'm in my counseling sessions, it is most definitely the women who talk over the men (and me), more than the other way around. And a lot of men, because they don't like to argue and bicker (which is a good thing, y'all), they will simply shut down and let us have the floor…since we're so hellbent on taking it anyway.
"Sometimes I wonder if women really want to hear where we are coming from or if they only want us to agree with their thoughts. It's like some aren't open to a different perspective. To them, if it's not where they are coming from, it's wrong and that is arrogant as hell, not to mention exhausting. The greatest love I ever had was with a woman who listened. She let me complete my sentences and asked for clarity before responding. I now know that is really important in my future wife. Women who don't listen come across as being really controlling and defensive…and that is really unattractive. Hell, I'm happy to be given the opportunity to even say that."
3. “I don’t know if women realize how badly they speak on men…a lot. And how unappealing that is.”—Zach, 33
"I can't tell you the last time a week went by and I didn't either hear a Black woman say or see a Black woman post that Black men ain't s—t. Then, in the same breath, they want to talk about how much we need them and their love. I love my sistahs, but what I'm not gonna do is subject myself to verbal abuse, just to say that I am dating one. It's hard enough to be a Black man around white people without coming home and being attacked too. We have our flaws, but you know what? You all have flaws too. We need to be loving each other through them, not putting each other on blast for the world to see."
4. “We can spot someone who isn’t over their past relationships a mile away.”—Jason, 26
"You know what's the worst? Meeting an amazin' woman who constantly gives you a hard time. You know it's because she still has 'ex issues'. You're on your phone in her presence and she thinks you're talking to another woman. Or, after three dates, if you haven't professed your love, she says something slick about wasting her time and not taking things seriously. She doesn't know you well enough for something to be your fault, so you know it's got to be some other dude that has her paranoid. We need to learn from our past but that doesn't mean punish others because of it. I wish more women would make sure they are over their ex before starting something new because it's not our job to heal you. Man."
5. “We can separate love and great sex very easily. Just like women, we want both.”—Nathan, 42
"I wonder how many women realize, just how much they manipulate sex in order to get what they want. Then, when it doesn't work, somehow, we're the bad guy. Enjoying a physical situation doesn't mean that we're stupid. We don't fall in love in the sheets. We are really good at separating good sex from someone we want to build a future with and no, there is not something wrong with being able to do that. If you want more than a sexual relationship, say that and definitely don't lead with that. And definitely don't assume that just because you did, we're gonna somehow be so turned out that we will be your man. A lot of women claim that they don't want to be objectified, but they seem to treat sex like the 'cake' instead of the 'icing' a hell of a lot more than we do. Good sex won't keep us. A good woman will. Yes, we know the difference."
6. “Just because we won’t settle, that doesn’t mean we don’t know what we want.”—Derek, 34
"Get this. How would you feel if you went on a date with me and all I talked about is how great of a catch I was and how stupid you were for not seeing it? Do you know how many women do that? It's crazy to be out here believing that, just because we won't settle down when you want us to, that we're incapable [of] doing it. I just think a lot of men are more patient than a lot of women are. It's not that we don't know what we want; it's that most of us know exactly what it is and we can wait, forever, if necessary, until we get the total package. That doesn't make us confused. We are very clear. We're just not gonna get married, just to say that we did it. If she never comes along…oh well. We'll live."
7. “If we tell you where we stand and you stay, how is that leading you on?”—Corey, 28
This point is a trip because a male friend and I got into a debate about this very thing. Only, it was him who was saying that if a woman wants more than a guy is willing to give that it is the guy's responsibility to cut the woman off. Yeah, I give women more credit than that. A guy owes us honesty, but it is up to us to decide how much we choose to endure—or not.
"Look, if you want to get married, date men who also want to get married. I think only immature men have a problem discussing stuff like that early on. But don't be out here assuming that marriage is a priority for everyone and, if we spend enough time with you, eventually we'll want to take a stroll down the aisle. There are women who I've only wanted to have sex with, told them that, and they've stayed. Then [they've] gotten upset. There are women I've dated, even exclusively, told them that I wanted nothing more than that, and they've stayed. Eventually, they got pissed too. When I asked them why, they said it was because they thought that I would change my mind. Why is that my fault that you thought that?"
"A man doesn't lead you on because you've decided not to take him at his word. A lot of women would be far better off saying on the second or third date that marriage is their ultimate goal. If a guy says that it's not for him, move on. Because, believe me, if we wanted to get married or if we saw that you could be our potential wife, we'd position ourselves to never let you go. If we're not doing that…yeah."
8. “It’s amazing how many women think that we are the problem without any form of self-reflection on their part.”—Keith, 40
"You know what's refreshing? To have a conversation with a woman about why her past relationships ended and she takes ownership for some stuff. My marriage ended because my ex cheated but, to this day, she continually tries to justify the affair with stuff like being stressed and me traveling for work. Yeah, how about you cheated and it was dead ass wrong because you already know that if I had done it, those excuses wouldn't fly? Women who can own their s—t are very attractive to me. Women who don't show signs of not being very self-aware or hell, humble, that is a recipe for disaster, if you ask me."
9. “A lot of us love Black women. We just get tired of being told that we don’t.”—Erickson, 47
"Can somebody tell me why, when a Black woman dates or marries a white man, she gets roaring applause from Black women but when a Black man dates or marries he white woman, he's a simp? The double standards are crazy in the Black community. But let me just say, on behalf of my Black brothers, that just like it's an out-of-control myth that Black women never marry, it's also a myth that we don't desire our sistahs. Contrary to what y'all see on Black Twitter, most of us prefer Black women. Look it up."
(He's right. Based on an NPR feature that was published in 2018, "According to a 2015 Pew Research study, 75 percent of recently married black men were married to black women. In other words, black men who marry black women are the norm.")
10. “Many of us want to get married. We just refuse to be pressured or bullied into it.”—Nicholas, 29
It is rather interesting—and by interesting, what I really mean is hypocritical—that a lot of women claim that they want a man to be the provider, protector and leader of their home yet, they think that he needs to be coerced into a proposal or given an ultimatum in order to get him to jump a broom. Hmph. Sounds pretty emasculating, if you ask me. But that's just me.
"Believe it or not, most of my friends want to get married. It's not a matter of 'if' but 'when'. I think a lot of women don't realize that a responsible man wants to have certain things accomplished before becoming a husband and trying to push us before we are ready only makes us not want to do it. Every guy I know who chose to get married in his own time is a husband that I look up to now. But man, the guys who felt like they had no other choice but to do it, they are miserable, cheating, finding a way to get out of the relationship or all of the above. I don't get why a woman would want to 'make' a man marry her anyway. Doesn't that make her feel bad about herself? Trust me, when we're ready to say, 'I do', it shows. No pushing on a woman's part is needed."
What is it that Mary Poppins used to sing? A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, right? I know this is a bit of a bitter pill to swallow, but when you know—rather than assuming or presuming— where a man stands, you can know how to move. That said, while you might not like all of what you read, I'd encourage you to not chalk it up to "whatever" or "b.s.". Doing that is one of the main reasons why there are so many communication issues between the sexes as it is. And if we want more, we've got to do better. Listening and taking one another seriously is a really good place to start.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
What 5 Men Had To Say About Married Sex
I Asked 10 Men What Turned Them On. This Is What They Said.
Feature image by Shutterstock
RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
Riska/Getty Images
1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
Riska/Getty Images
19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by
Here's a roundup of holiday hair and glam ideas tailored for Black women, focusing on elegance, versatility, and creativity. Each style embraces natural textures, protective styling, and statement-making glam.
Holiday Hairstyle Ideas:
- Natural Hair: Embrace your natural curls, coils, and kinks with festive updos, twist-outs, braid-outs, or wash-and-go styles adorned with jeweled hair accessories, metallic headbands, or shimmering hair tinsel.
- Protective Styles: Opt for stylish and low-maintenance options like box braids, cornrows, Senegalese twists, faux locs, or crochet braids, incorporating festive elements like colored hair extensions, metallic cuffs, or decorative beads.
- Wigs & Weaves: Experiment with versatile and glamorous wigs and weaves in various textures, lengths, and colors, adding holiday flair with curls, waves, sleek styles, or statement-making hair accessories.
Holiday Glam Makeup Tips:
- Bold Lips: Make a statement with vibrant red, berry, or metallic lipstick shades that complement your skin tone and outfit.a
- Shimmering Eyes: Enhance your eyes with shimmering eyeshadows, metallic eyeliner, or glitter accents for a festive glow.
- Flawless Skin: Achieve a radiant complexion with a flawless foundation, subtle contouring, and a touch of highlighter.
- Statement Lashes: Accentuate your eyes with dramatic false lashes or a generous coat of mascara for added allure.
These suggestions are a starting point for your holiday hair and beauty journey. Feel free to personalize each look, experiment with different techniques, and express your unique style. The most important thing is to have fun and celebrate the magic that is you!
1. Stacked Bantu Knots
Raimonda Kulikauskiene/Getty Images
Hair:
- Bantu knots with loose, defined curls framing the face.
- Add gold or metallic hair cuffs for festive flair.
Glam:
- Glittery gold or copper eyeshadow.
- Bold red lip for a classic holiday vibe.
2. Sleek and Sophisticated
Ryan Destiny
Getty Images
Hair:
- Straight middle part or side part with layered waves and a high-gloss finish.
- Optional: Add crystal hair pins for extra sparkle.
Glam:
- Cat-eye liner paired with nude glossy lips.
- Soft bronzed cheeks for a warm glow.
3. Holiday Halo
Ciara
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
Hair:
- A textured halo braid with faux locs or braiding hair for volume.
- Decorate with small ornaments or pearls for a whimsical touch.
Glam:
- Smokey eye with silver shimmer accents.
- Dark berry lipstick for a bold statement.
4. Textured Top Knot
Ari Lennox
Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images
Hair:
- High knot with natural texture or extensions for volume.
- Wrap the base with a velvet ribbon or festive scarf.
Glam:
- Metallic lids in emerald or sapphire shades.
- Subtle highlighter on cheekbones and nose.
5. Hollywood Waves
Jodie Turner-Smith
Amy Sussman/Getty Images
Hair:
- Classic finger waves or soft, voluminous curls for a vintage look.
- Use clip-ins or bundles for added length and fullness.
Glam:
- Winged eyeliner with lashes for drama.
- Crimson lipstick for timeless elegance.
6. Braided Beauty
Rihanna
Samir Hussein/WireImage
Hair:
- Fulani-inspired braids with gold beads or strings.
- Finish with a low bun or leave braids flowing.
Glam:
- Shimmery eyeshadow in gold or bronze.
- Glossy lips with a hint of sparkle.
7. Afro Chic
AJ Odudu
JB Lacroix/WireImage
Hair:
- Fluffed-out afro with metallic accessories.
- Secure with a decorative headband.
Glam:
- Dewy skin with a subtle blush.
- A soft pink lip for contrast.
8. Retro Glam Ponytail
Tia Mowry
Anna Webber/Getty Images
Hair:
- Sleek, high ponytail with flipped ends or added curls.
- Wrap the ponytail base with rhinestones or silk.
Glam:
- Bold eyeliner with graphic shapes.
- Matte lips in a deep plum shade.
9. Goddess Locs
Meagan Good
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
Hair:
- Bohemian-inspired locs with curly ends.
- Add holiday sparkle with silver or gold accents.
Glam:
- Bronzed eye makeup with a glossy finish.
- Warm nude lipstick with overlined edges.
Hair:
- Stranded twists styled into an intricate updo or bun.
- Secure with jeweled pins or barrettes.
Glam:
- Rose gold eyeshadow with natural lashes.
- Soft mauve lipstick for a delicate finish.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Getty Images