5 Reasons Why You KEEP Attracting Commitment-Phobes

Dating

OK. Raise your hand if you know that you've dated—or worse, completely fallen in love with—a commitment-phobe. You know the type—uber-charming, great on dates, sometimes even better in bed. Fine. Funny. Ambitious. On so many levels, he seems like the perfect catch.


That's until you're a few months in and you discover that he doesn't like to plan more than a week in advance, he can't remember the last time he was in a serious relationship, he hates using titles, he doesn't have many close connections (to family, friends, or anyone else) and, anything that sounds even close to the "L" word is like a cuss word to him.

No matter how hot 'n heavy things were in the beginning, give it half a year (if he sticks around even that long) and if he doesn't get ghost on you, you'll find yourself getting tired of having the same "So, what are we doing? Where is this going?" conversation/argument with him.

As a result, things end. Problem is, not too much time goes by before you find yourself in this same kind of situationship with another guy who also displays the signs of being a commitment-phobe.

What's the problem? I'm not talking about with him. I'm talking about with you.

Why do you find yourself constantly attracting commitment-phobes into your head and heart space?

From personal experience, I've got a few reasons that you should think long and hard about.

You’ve Got Daddy (or Mama) Issues

One of my favorite quotes is "Adulthood is about surviving childhood." While I wish that wasn't the case, the reality is a lot of us didn't see healthy relationships as children.

If your parents were never together or they divorced when you were young (and if that is the case, check out "Effects of Divorce on Children's Future Relationships"), sometimes it can either make you attract a situation that is similar to the one your parents had or cause you to work overtime to try and convince someone to commit to you because you may not know what reciprocity in a relationship looks like.

Not to say that this reason applies to everyone, but if you're constantly in "relationships" with guys who won't commit to you, looking back at what your parents modeled to you certainly can't hurt.

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