I was born in '91 and my childhood consisted of Walt Disney fairytales and black classics such as, Love and Basketball, and my personal favorite, Love Jones. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a hopeless romantic.
Yet, as a young adult, reality has taught me that relationships are complicated even more so today due to social media and the strange norms of my generation. At times, I feel as if I was born in the wrong generation. I live in the era of “Netflix and Chill" that counts as a “date" and some people referring to dating someone as “talking." I live in an era where courting seems somewhat extinct. I live in an era of not wanting a title, but still wanting relationship benefits. I personally think the “friends with benefits" concept rarely works out because going with the flow usually leads to one person developing stronger feelings and initiating the, “What are we?" conversation, which then leads to the “I am not ready for a commitment, but I enjoy what we have and still want to chill with you," answer (a.k.a. a #situationship).
I live in a social media obsessed era. I feel as though we're so connected as society due to Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, texting, and constant feeds of what our significant other is doing that it takes away the mystery and “I miss you" factor.
I live in a generation where people are so quick to post photos of their new #bae, #MCE, #WCW and tell the world all about their relationship before they actually let it develop. Then, three months later their posts are deleted and their timeline is full of shady memes about not settling, and knowing their worth.
Some people are so focused on making their relationship look amazing on social media, that they don't do the real work of making it equally amazing in real life.
At times, I wish I could teleport myself to a time where things seemed simpler, where men were more chivalrous, being in love was praised, and R&B; was about the beauty of love and sex, instead of #sidechicks and #thesehoesaintloyal.
I honestly feel that some women in my generation settle for things that they do not want in a relationship. I am not a relationship expert and I am far from perfect, but one thing that I have learned in my own personal dating and relationship experiences is that we as women really hold all the power and set the tone for how we want to be treated. I think this is very important for women to hear (especially millennials) - that we must set the standards of how we want to be treated by our partners, and that alone begins with self-love and figuring out what we value. If we all come to realize the power that we have, we could really change the current dating game.
If you're at stage in life where you want to date with no strings attached and have fun- that's cool too. However, if what you crave is a committed relationship, there is no need to settle for a relationship without a commitment. Men know what they want. If a man wants you, he will do whatever it takes.
However, if he tells you he's not ready, believe him. It is your choice to stay and wait or just move on. Ultimately, you are in power of your own happiness and you set the terms of what you want.
What do you think ladies? Has technology and social media killed off the concept of dating? Are we also to partially blame for the lack of effort behind dating and settling, or is "chilling" simply the new "courting"?
We'd love to hear your thoughts!