Yep. Pubic Hair Has Trends (And Specific Needs) Too.
Recently, while watching a skit by an actor who goes by the name Bigg Jah, it took me a hot minute to realize that it was basically a long commercial for a manscaper (clever…very clever, my man). The first thing that came to my mind is, I really dig the fact that more and more Black men are speaking up about self-care and grooming (very dope). The second thing I thought was, I wonder what the best "womenscapers" are. (I found a list of 'em here.) Then, as my mind began to wander even more, I wondered if, like virtually everything in life, did pubic hair actually have annual trends. Yep. It does.
If you're like a friend of mine who basically goes by the motto, "I don't care what the pubic hair trends are because I Nair mine off and go about my business", I hear you. It's your cooty-cat; do what you will.
But I do think that it should go on record that pubic hair does exist for a reason—and a purpose. Mostly, it's there to protect our vaginas from unwanted bacteria (and pathogens and lint), plus it can shield us from getting tiny abrasions during sex; abrasions that could make the transmission of STDs easier to receive from our partner (if they happen to have one and don't know it). Then there's a perk that a lot of people either forget or don't know about—pubic hair traps in pheromones; the kind of pheromones that make men and women, well, hornier.
Even though pubic hair can be a bit of a nuisance at times, I know many men who absolutely prefer women who have at least a little something down there. "I want to feel like I'm having sex with a grown ass woman, not a little girl" is the rationale that I typically hear. Still, that doesn't automatically mean that you have to go all 1970s bush on 'em. There are some trends that are cute, creative and pretty easy to maintain if you'd rather do your "ladyscaping" from the comfort and privacy of your own home.
Let's look into a few.
What Are the Current Trends Down There?
As far as trends go, this is what several sources revealed will be big in the year of our Lord, 2020:
The Bermuda Triangle. If you want your vagina to look like it's past puberty and you don't want to endure the pain of going completely bald (which is technically called The Brazilian in spas and salons), a happy medium is The Bermuda Triangle. It's when all of the hair but a triangle that points to your actual lips is removed. A lot of women like it because it's ideal during the summer season when you want some hair, but you don't want anything close to your bikini line.
The Five o'clock Shadow. I'm thinking this is pretty self-explanatory, but just to be on the safe side, it's when you've got a little more than stubble down there. The main thing to remember with this is the clean up the "outlining areas" like right where your bikini line hits. Oh, and in order to pull this one off, you'll probably need to shave/trim on a weekly basis.
The Martini Glass. One more. If you've never heard of The Martini Glass before, it's like a hybrid of The Bermuda Triangle and The Landing Strip (you know, when there's only one thin line of hair that runs down to where your vaginal lips are). What you do is you start off making a triangle, but right when you get to the "fattest" or "fleshiest" part of your vulva, you narrow the triangle into a line so that it literally ends up looking like—ta-da!---a martini glass (drink up, fellas!).
How to Properly Care for Your Pubic Hair
Trimming your pubic hair is only one part of maintaining it. There are a few pampering tips that you should apply on a weekly basis as well.
Exfoliate. There are two (main) reasons why exfoliating your pubic hair is a good thing to do. First, it can help to remove dead skin cells and keep your pores around your vaginal region clean and clear. Secondly, it can loosen up your hairs before you shave so that you don't end up with bumps or unsightly ingrown hairs. The most effective way to exfoliate your pubic hair is to either dry brush before taking a bath or shower or to wash your pubes with a pair of exfoliating bath gloves.
Condition. Tell the truth and shame the devil. When's the last time that you intentionally conditioned your pubic hair? It might seem like a strange thing to do but think about it—all hair feels better after it's been conditioned. Plus, hopefully, you've got someone spending a little time down there. Don't you want those hairs to feel silky soft for him? While I don't recommend slathering on the conditioner that you use for your head (the chemicals may be a bit much), putting a few drops of jojoba oil into your bathwater is an awesome way to get—and keep—your pubic hair feeling pretty wonderful. You can back that up with a little sweet almond or grapeseed oil once you get out of the tub if you want your pubes to feel extra smooth.
Soften. In order to pull off some of those trends that I mentioned, never shave while your pubic hair is dry. Always dampen it with warm water (you can use a spray bottle if you'd like) and apply some shaving cream. If you're worried that the cream could irritate your actual vulva (the external part of your vagina), clitoris or vagina, you can nix a lot of the extra chemicals by making your own. Click here and here for some easy to make recipes.
Shave. The main thing to remember when it comes to shaving is your razor needs to glide along the grain of your pubic hair, not against it. The reason why a lot of us end up with bumps and irritation down there is because we overlook this golden rule.
Dye (if you'd like). I don't know if it's TMI or not. We're all grown so, to me, it's whatever. Although I am not bald or "trendy", the main thing that motivates me to keep my own pubic hair trimmed very low is the older I get, the more grey hairs want to pop up and totally wreck my mood. If you can totally relate but you want a little more hair sans any grey, you can always dye your pubic hair. I'd avoid the standard hair dye box kits, if I were you. Instead, go with a brand that is specifically designed for your pubes. Betty Beauty is a pretty popular one.
Leave fragrance alone. Our vaginas are supposed to have a pH balance somewhere between 3.8-4.5 (which is somewhat acidic). When it's higher than this, that can lead to a breeding ground for not-so-good bacteria to thrive. Things like sperm, antibiotics, medication, douching and even our menstrual cycles can throw our pH off. Know what else can? Chemicals and scented products. That's why, it really is best, to leave all of the perfumes 'n stuff alone. If you want to feel a little extra fresh, check out "Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes". In the meantime, always remember that your vagina—and the pubic hair that covers it—isn't supposed to smell like a bed of roses. A healthy vagina has a distinct scent and men love it. So, don't overdo it, OK? When it comes to caring for your vulva and your pubic hair, the "less is more" approach is always best. Always.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images