

Yep. Pubic Hair Has Trends (And Specific Needs) Too.
Recently, while watching a skit by an actor who goes by the name Bigg Jah, it took me a hot minute to realize that it was basically a long commercial for a manscaper (clever…very clever, my man). The first thing that came to my mind is, I really dig the fact that more and more Black men are speaking up about self-care and grooming (very dope). The second thing I thought was, I wonder what the best "womenscapers" are. (I found a list of 'em here.) Then, as my mind began to wander even more, I wondered if, like virtually everything in life, did pubic hair actually have annual trends. Yep. It does.
If you're like a friend of mine who basically goes by the motto, "I don't care what the pubic hair trends are because I Nair mine off and go about my business", I hear you. It's your cooty-cat; do what you will.
But I do think that it should go on record that pubic hair does exist for a reason—and a purpose. Mostly, it's there to protect our vaginas from unwanted bacteria (and pathogens and lint), plus it can shield us from getting tiny abrasions during sex; abrasions that could make the transmission of STDs easier to receive from our partner (if they happen to have one and don't know it). Then there's a perk that a lot of people either forget or don't know about—pubic hair traps in pheromones; the kind of pheromones that make men and women, well, hornier.
Even though pubic hair can be a bit of a nuisance at times, I know many men who absolutely prefer women who have at least a little something down there. "I want to feel like I'm having sex with a grown ass woman, not a little girl" is the rationale that I typically hear. Still, that doesn't automatically mean that you have to go all 1970s bush on 'em. There are some trends that are cute, creative and pretty easy to maintain if you'd rather do your "ladyscaping" from the comfort and privacy of your own home.
Let's look into a few.
What Are the Current Trends Down There?
As far as trends go, this is what several sources revealed will be big in the year of our Lord, 2020:
The Bermuda Triangle. If you want your vagina to look like it's past puberty and you don't want to endure the pain of going completely bald (which is technically called The Brazilian in spas and salons), a happy medium is The Bermuda Triangle. It's when all of the hair but a triangle that points to your actual lips is removed. A lot of women like it because it's ideal during the summer season when you want some hair, but you don't want anything close to your bikini line.
The Five o'clock Shadow. I'm thinking this is pretty self-explanatory, but just to be on the safe side, it's when you've got a little more than stubble down there. The main thing to remember with this is the clean up the "outlining areas" like right where your bikini line hits. Oh, and in order to pull this one off, you'll probably need to shave/trim on a weekly basis.
The Martini Glass. One more. If you've never heard of The Martini Glass before, it's like a hybrid of The Bermuda Triangle and The Landing Strip (you know, when there's only one thin line of hair that runs down to where your vaginal lips are). What you do is you start off making a triangle, but right when you get to the "fattest" or "fleshiest" part of your vulva, you narrow the triangle into a line so that it literally ends up looking like—ta-da!---a martini glass (drink up, fellas!).
How to Properly Care for Your Pubic Hair
Trimming your pubic hair is only one part of maintaining it. There are a few pampering tips that you should apply on a weekly basis as well.
Exfoliate. There are two (main) reasons why exfoliating your pubic hair is a good thing to do. First, it can help to remove dead skin cells and keep your pores around your vaginal region clean and clear. Secondly, it can loosen up your hairs before you shave so that you don't end up with bumps or unsightly ingrown hairs. The most effective way to exfoliate your pubic hair is to either dry brush before taking a bath or shower or to wash your pubes with a pair of exfoliating bath gloves.
Condition. Tell the truth and shame the devil. When's the last time that you intentionally conditioned your pubic hair? It might seem like a strange thing to do but think about it—all hair feels better after it's been conditioned. Plus, hopefully, you've got someone spending a little time down there. Don't you want those hairs to feel silky soft for him? While I don't recommend slathering on the conditioner that you use for your head (the chemicals may be a bit much), putting a few drops of jojoba oil into your bathwater is an awesome way to get—and keep—your pubic hair feeling pretty wonderful. You can back that up with a little sweet almond or grapeseed oil once you get out of the tub if you want your pubes to feel extra smooth.
Soften. In order to pull off some of those trends that I mentioned, never shave while your pubic hair is dry. Always dampen it with warm water (you can use a spray bottle if you'd like) and apply some shaving cream. If you're worried that the cream could irritate your actual vulva (the external part of your vagina), clitoris or vagina, you can nix a lot of the extra chemicals by making your own. Click here and here for some easy to make recipes.
Shave. The main thing to remember when it comes to shaving is your razor needs to glide along the grain of your pubic hair, not against it. The reason why a lot of us end up with bumps and irritation down there is because we overlook this golden rule.
Dye (if you'd like). I don't know if it's TMI or not. We're all grown so, to me, it's whatever. Although I am not bald or "trendy", the main thing that motivates me to keep my own pubic hair trimmed very low is the older I get, the more grey hairs want to pop up and totally wreck my mood. If you can totally relate but you want a little more hair sans any grey, you can always dye your pubic hair. I'd avoid the standard hair dye box kits, if I were you. Instead, go with a brand that is specifically designed for your pubes. Betty Beauty is a pretty popular one.
Leave fragrance alone. Our vaginas are supposed to have a pH balance somewhere between 3.8-4.5 (which is somewhat acidic). When it's higher than this, that can lead to a breeding ground for not-so-good bacteria to thrive. Things like sperm, antibiotics, medication, douching and even our menstrual cycles can throw our pH off. Know what else can? Chemicals and scented products. That's why, it really is best, to leave all of the perfumes 'n stuff alone. If you want to feel a little extra fresh, check out "Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes". In the meantime, always remember that your vagina—and the pubic hair that covers it—isn't supposed to smell like a bed of roses. A healthy vagina has a distinct scent and men love it. So, don't overdo it, OK? When it comes to caring for your vulva and your pubic hair, the "less is more" approach is always best. Always.
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (missnosipho@gmail.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
Welcome to Black Girl Whole, your space to find the wellness routine that aligns with you! This brand-new marketplace by xoNecole is a safe space for Black women to activate their healing, find the inspiration to rest, and receive reassurance that we are one small act away from finding our happiness.
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Sabrina Dhowre Elba Admits To Not Initially Knowing Who Idris Elba Was When They Met
Model and entrepreneur Sabrina Elba recently recalled the intimate moments surrounding the fateful day she first encountered her husband, Idris Elba.
The couple, who have been together since 2017, met at a jazz bar in Vancouver when Idris was working on his film Mountain Between Us. Years later, in April 2019, following a whirlwind romance, Sabrina and Idris would tie the knot in Morocco.
Since then, the pair's love story has become "couple goals" among many for various reasons. The list includes the numerous times Sabrina and Idris have showcased their love on social media. Another factor contributing to the duo's likability is that Sabrina and Idris have displayed over the years that being with the right partner can elevate one's career or passion in life.
Sabrina and Idris have collaborated professionally in several businesses, including their Coupledom podcast and skincare brand S'Able Labs. In a June interview on Jemele Hill's Unbothered podcast, the 34-year-old opened up about the events leading up to when she met Idris and how she initially didn't know who he was.
Sabrina Dhowre Elba on Meeting Idris Elba
Sabrina, who was living in Vancouver at the time, said that the same night Idris was in town, she went out to a jazz bar for an event called Slow Jam Sunday for a friend’s birthday.
Around that time, the model was getting over a breakup and claimed she wasn't interested in a relationship because of how badly her previous one ended. In a past interview, Idris revealed that he, too, just went through a breakup before meeting Sabrina.
"This is so funny. I [had] just gotten out of a really bad relationship, so I was not this person. I was like 'men are trash. They suck.' I'm literally ready to switch it on up or something because I was so over it," she said. "I come to this party with a night off at work that I prebooked because I was working literally every weekend. But it was my girlfriend's birthday party, so I was there kind of by chance."
Sabrina also revealed that, coincidently, the night she took off for her friend's birthday celebration was the same night Idris had the day off and was convinced by his stunt double to attend Slow Jam Sunday.
"Slow Jam Sundays is an amazing night in Vancouver. It's the one night I would probably go to, but you wouldn't see me out often because I was a weekend worker. I was working at restaurants and service industry, your weekends are taken up," she stated.
"Idris was filming this film in Vancouver and had one night off in Vancouver because most of it was filmed sort of up north in the mountains. His stunt double convinced him to go to Slow Jam Sundays. By chance, we were both there."
Further into the interview, Sabrina disclosed that her friend was interested in Idris at first and went to flirt with him. However, the Daddy's Little Girls star dismissed the friend's advances because Sabrina had caught his eye.
When Sabrina's friend informed her about what happened, she admitted that although she tried to put up a front for her friend's sake, the S'Able Labs CEO was happy because she thought he was also attractive. Following the discussion, Sabrina and her friend went to the section where Idris was, and the couple realized how much they had in common, from the music choices to their background.
"So I go over, and we have like one of those conversations that you just feel like you've known this person for ten years because we're singing the same songs. When a song comes on that I love, he's like, 'I love this song.' I'm like, 'what?' Like I just had this like cultural connection. He's African. I'm like,' Where are you from?'" she said.
Sabrina On Not Knowing Who Idris Was After Meeting Him
As the topic shifted to Idris' celebrity status, Sabrina explained that she didn't know who he was until after it was brought to her attention by a few people she met outside of the bar.
"When I went outside, I realized because there's a group of people there, they're like, 'Oh, you're talking to Idris Elba,'" she stated.
When asked about how well-known the actor was when they met, Sabrina shared that Idris was widely famous in America but not so much in Canada and that the one film she saw him in was the 2009 thriller Obsessed.
Sabrina would add that even after being told who Idris was, she couldn't recollect where she knew him from until her friends mentioned the movie.
"Well, so the film that I had seen was Obsessed... I feel Idris Elba now he gets recognized so much. In that moment, unless you were kind of in that zeitgeist, he was definitely a lot more popular in America," she said. "I don't think I would've known it even when they said that was him. I was trying to remember, like, my friends were like, 'yeah, he's from Obsessed.' We're like, 'Oh, yeah.'"
After figuring out who Idris was, Sabrina shared that when she re-entered the venue, she doubted a relationship would form between them given his occupation, the short timeline he would be there to shoot his movie, and the constant temptation that could flock around him due to his status. But despite Sabrina's uncertainty, they would exchange numbers before she left.
"So I went back inside, we started chatting some more, and he was like, 'Let me take your number.' I was like, 'Alright,' and then I left," she stated.
The model explained the reason why she left the event was that her friend, whose birthday she was celebrating, wanted to check out other spots. When the night was coming to an end, Sabrina hailed a taxi to go home when she received a phone call from Idris. The entrepreneur revealed that the Takers star stopped her from entering the cab and urged her to get in the car he was driving, and they spent the whole night talking until 8 a.m.
"I got in his car, and we spoke till like 8 a.m. easy. It was probably like 2 [a.m.] at that time. We just had the most intense, amazing conversation," she said. "It was the first time I ever connected with someone to the point where I was like, I went home the next day called my friends, I was like, 'I think I found my soulmate.'"
Sabrina revealed that from that fateful night, she and Idris became inseparable. The couple would be long-distance for a brief stint of their union until they acknowledged how difficult it was to maintain that type of relationship. Sabrina ultimately decided to move in with Idris although she was skeptical at first, she claimed it was one of the best decisions she's made because she found her "soulmate."
Sabrina Elba's First Night with Idris Elba Sounds Like a Romance Movie
Model and philanthropist Sabrina Elba joins Jemele to discuss her marriage to actor Idris Elba, and their heartwarming, love at first sight origin story.SUBS...Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Dave Benett/Getty Images for Space NK