So I know I’m not the only one who’s been seeing an uptick in articles about it not being necessary to bathe on a daily basis (chile…CHILE). What certain researchers claim is cleansing your skin in that manner every day not only dries it out, it could potentially compromise your immunity too.
Personally, I don’t know what I’m more skeptical about, that part or reading that only half of Americans actually bathe on a daily basis in the first place (don’t even get me started on the fact that 45 percent of folks in the United States will go two days or longer before putting on some fresh drawers). Listen, when you think about all that your cootie cat and behind go through on a daily basis, that’s enough of a reason to run to the tub at the end of a long day if you ask me.
That’s actually what we’re gonna get into today. If you’re someone who is all about hygiene, and so you’re not gonna depend on some type of body deodorant (some of those commercials are so gross; I won’t name no names about which ones, though) to cover up stank and bacteria, you might have found yourself wondering before if it’s better for your vagina if you take a shower or a bath. Although, at the end of the day, it’s not the biggest deal in the world if you already have a certain preference, I did want to bring up some things for you to think about — just as an FYI.
Benefits of a Shower
GiphyThere’s a guy I know who has always said that if he ever takes a bath, he’s going to get into the shower first. LOL. Although that might sound like a lot of extra work to some of y’all, believe it or not, he’s actually onto something. Even health experts will say that if your ultimate objective is to get your body as clean as possible, you’re going to be better off taking a shower (they also say that if you’re focused, 5-10 minutes should be all that you need). One article that I read said that the two main reasons are 1) you’re able to get a fairly even distribution of water dispersed onto your body and 2) the dirt and ickiness flow right off of you and into the drain — when you’re in a bath, the dirty water is floating all around.
Now when it comes to your vagina, specifically, there are some perks to “her” taking a shower as well. For one thing, because the vagina is self-cleansing, it doesn’t need any of your help via washing products. And so, when you’re in the shower, it’s easier to wash your vulva only, so that your vagina doesn’t come into contact with any of the stuff that you use to wash the rest of your body with.
And since, yes, you can totally get a yeast infection from the bath products that you use (because they can potentially throw your pH down there off), all of this is definitely something to keep in mind.
Gee, after saying all of this, is there any benefit at all to taking baths? Actually…there are.
Benefits of a Bath
GiphyIf I’m gonna be real, if getting thoroughly clean is your (ultimate) goal, showers are going to win every time. On the flip side, though, baths are hella therapeutic. If you’re looking to soothe sore muscles and achy joints, strengthen your immune system (because apparently hot baths help to improve how your immune cells operate), make it easier to breathe if you have a cold or respiratory infection, decrease stress and anxiety levels; soften your skin; burn a few calories (because soaking in hot water can actually uptick your metabolism a bit), and/or improve your quality of sleep (especially if you do it no more than two hours before turning in) — taking a nice hot bath can make all of this happen for you (interestingly enough, a cold shower can accomplish many of these things too).
And vaginally? Is taking a bath any good at all? Well, stress does play a role in suppressing the good bacteria in your vagina, which means that if a bath reduces stress, it can indirectly help you to have fewer vaginal infections (like a yeast-related one). Also, if you have eczema or psoriasis on your vulva (or hemorrhoids due to things like recently giving birth), soaking in an oatmeal or sitz bath can relieve the discomfort.
Not to mention the fact that, if you have a yeast infection, soaking in a tub that has some baking soda in it, can help to kill some of the fungus that is irritating your vulva and the discharge that may be bothering your vaginal opening.
Still, you need to be careful to focus on the outside of your vagina, not the inside of it (if you have an infection, contact your doctor; they will probably give you something that will treat it from the inside out). Otherwise, the baking soda could irritate your vagina and not much else.
Either Way, 5 Cleansing Tips to Keep in Mind
GiphyWhen you take all of this into account, it seems like the conclusion is that whatever your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) needs at any given time, that is what should help you to decide if you should hop into the shower or soak in the tub. However, as a general practice, because the less “stuff” that gets into your vagina, the better, a shower is always going to be your safer bet. Whichever way you land, though, there are some cleansing tips for your vagina that you should always keep in mind.
1. Use a Gentle Vaginal Wash
I don’t care what article you read on how to clean your vagina — which, again, needs to be your vulva — if it’s worth its weight, it’s gonna say to avoid scented products; many will also say that just water alone will do the trick. Me personally, I use something called Boric Fresh PH Balancing Daily Feminine Wash. It contains boric acid, tea tree oil, coconut oil, and some essential oils and works wonderfully. Sometimes I’ll play around with a DIY feminine wash, too (check out “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes”). Those are fun because you can literally customize the ingredients to make a wash that is best for you at various times of the month.
2. Know How to “Wash Your Vagina” Correctly
It’s kind of wild, the things that we think we are masters at that we very well might not be. For instance, did you know that when it comes to washing your vagina (which, again, is more like your vulva), your hands are actually best because loofahs (and even certain washcloths) can be too harsh for the inner parts of your vulvar skin? Yeah, cleaning “her” is one thing. Cleaning her properly? That’s another matter entirely. That said, check out “Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure?” for some additional tips in that department.
3. Pat “Her” Dry
If you’re not someone who pays much attention to drying your vagina off after bathing it, please make sure that you start. There are experts who say that an unsung reason why some women get yeast infections (or recurring ones) is that their vulva/vagina stays too moist throughout the day — and that’s because some women do not make sure that it’s dry after washing. Air drying is good (if you have time); if not, pat it dry with a clean and dry towel. Yes, pat—rubbing is totally unnecessary.
4. Take Showers on Your Cycle
Let me just say that when it comes to taking a bath when you’re on your period, there is nothing “wrong” with it. Actually, hot/warm water can help to relieve menstrual cramps. All I’m saying is, if that’s the time of the month when you want to feel particularly clean, for all of the reasons that we discussed, a shower is probably gonna be your better bet. Plus, if you’re someone who has tension headaches during that time of the month, a hot shower could help to decrease your discomfort.
5. Put on Clean Underwear. ALWAYS.
I once read a quote that said, “Having sex with an ex is like getting out of the shower and putting the same underwear back on.” While I’m not sure if it’s THAT extreme (LOL), I do think that the saying is a good way to close all of this out. Back when I wrote, “When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?” for the platform, a part of the reason why is because some of us will hold onto panties for literally years at a time. Yeah, that’s not good because, for one thing, tiny parts of fecal matter store up in undies.
That’s why it’s important to get new ones — because why put a fresh body in 6-12 months’ worth of little stored-up poop pieces (yuck!)? So, whether it’s a shower or bath that you land on, please have some clean panties awaiting her at the end, aight? That way, your vagina will remain as clean as possible until the next time you get into a shower…or a bath.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Prostock-Studio/Getty Images
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock