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Love & Relationships

Why This Couple Says 'Shared Self-Care Rituals' Are A Priority In Their Marriage

When Jayla and Tony Henry first crossed paths, it was love at first sight. While attending a homecoming tailgate party at the University of Michigan in 2017, Jayla took a bold approach in introducing herself to Tony, manifesting that he would be her future husband. “I’m big on energy, and Jayla and I instantly vibed,” Tony tells xoNecole. “Her confidence spoke to me when she walked up to me at a tailgate years ago. She just straight-up told me I was going to be her husband.”


Seven months later, the two were married.

Whether you call it fate or divine timing, there’s no denying the magnetic connection that the Dallas-based couple share with each other and, most notably, their online community. Today, Jayla, 29, and Tony, 30, have stolen the hearts of over one million fans and supporters across the internet with their infectious love story and family TikTok videos with their two children, Braylon and Nyla.

Balancing their popular social media platforms with the responsibilities that come with parenthood and everyday life might appear effortless from a distance, but the couple understands the importance of taking moments to pause and prioritize their self-care practices in tandem. Because of this, the two are emphasizing their commitment to personal care by joining Dove Men+Care in their new #SelfCareforAll campaign that aims to remove the stigma around men’s self-care and how couples can embrace self-care together.

According to research commissioned by Dove Men+Care, 70% of men do not take part in self-care practices. With this statistic in mind, Tony hopes to use his platform to show that self-care isn’t exclusive to women and destigmatize the practice amongst men to show its benefits to everyone.

“It’s disappointing seeing men shy away from caring for themselves,” he says. “I’m fortunate to have a wife and a circle that supports me to be my best self. These stigmas on men feel outdated; it’s up to us men to remind each other why a little TLC in your life isn’t just for the ladies.”

jayla-henry-tony-henry-share-an-embrace-in-bathtub-while-wearing-white-towel-turbans-and-bath-robes

Influencers Jayla and Tony Henry know the power of engaging in self-care activities as a couple.

Courtesy

Black men deserve to indulge in their self-care needs. In fact, studies show that men who engage in self-care are 44% more likely to support their families and communities compared to those who do not. When Black men prioritize their well-being, it allows them to be more present and effective in supporting their friends and family — which benefits our community as a whole.

For Jayla, engaging in self-care activities with her husband not only enhances their relationship but also fosters better awareness of each other's needs and encourages mutual support. And it doesn’t hurt that it ups the attention levels, too. “We all know it’s important to prioritize our physical and mental well-being, and I love how he prioritizes that for himself and for others,” she says.

“By knowing when to prioritize himself, he gives me the same grace. His dedication to taking care of himself shines through in how he shows care to me and our children. Having a partner that cares for themselves is (I’m going to just say it) sexy!” Jayla adds.

xoNecole spoke with the influencer couple to discuss the importance of men's self-care, Jayla and Tony’s shared wellness practices, how they’re passing down self-care practices to their children, and more.

The #SelfCareforAll campaign emphasizes the importance of men's self-care. Tony, how has your self-care routine helped you to show up for Jayla and your family? Can you share some specific aspects of your routine? 

Tony Henry: Dove Men+Care and their #SelfCareforAll campaign is an incredible effort. I love how the brand is encouraging men to be more honest about self-care. Self-care is critical – for men overall and especially Black men. As brothers, it’s important to prioritize our well-being so we can show up for ourselves and our circle.

I like to be intentional about my days, so I start my mornings off by going to the gym and winding down with a post-workout shower. It’s the time I tend to my body and my mind before the day begins, and helps me show up with a clear head.

Many people believe in the concept that "couples who engage in healthy habits together stay together." How have you both incorporated shared self-care habits into your daily lives and how has this impacted your relationship? 

Jayla Henry: We’ve been experimenting with shared self-care rituals and setting time aside to do our night-time routines together. It seems so simple, but when days are so hectic juggling work, kids, and life in general, having these joint self-care moments allows us to breathe and reset. I firmly believe it also strengthens our relationship since we’re more in tune with each other’s needs and can hold each other accountable to take care of one another.

"I firmly believe it also strengthens our relationship since we’re more in tune with each other’s needs and can hold each other accountable to take care of one another."

Tony: I second this. And we also pass down self-care to Braylon and Nyla. I’m not a barber, but I cut my son’s hair. This is quality time that also makes sure he feels good about himself. As a Black man, there’s a special relationship between conversations and lessons that are shared during this experience, and it’s a highlight for me.

Are there any challenges you've faced in integrating self-care into your relationship and individually, and how have you overcome them?  

Jayla: As a woman, mother, wife, entrepreneur, and more, I feel I barely have time for myself. It can be easy for us to feel guilty for “putting ourselves first.” But self-care isn’t selfish – it’s something that Dove Men+Care reinforced to us when asking us to join #SelfCareforAll. In research they’ve done on self-care, they found just how transformative self-care can be.

Like Tony noted, I am fortunate to have a partner and a circle that encourages me to invest in myself both physically and mentally.

What advice do you have for individuals and couples seeking to build a strong and connected relationship, considering your own journey? 

Tony: Relationships are like anything else, they take commitment, patience, understanding, and so much more. Like self-care, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all that people can implement. As the age-old saying goes: make sure you are loving yourself and who you are before you seek out someone else’s love.

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