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Why This Couple Says 'Shared Self-Care Rituals' Are A Priority In Their Marriage
When Jayla and Tony Henry first crossed paths, it was love at first sight. While attending a homecoming tailgate party at the University of Michigan in 2017, Jayla took a bold approach in introducing herself to Tony, manifesting that he would be her future husband. “I’m big on energy, and Jayla and I instantly vibed,” Tony tells xoNecole. “Her confidence spoke to me when she walked up to me at a tailgate years ago. She just straight-up told me I was going to be her husband.”
Seven months later, the two were married.
Whether you call it fate or divine timing, there’s no denying the magnetic connection that the Dallas-based couple share with each other and, most notably, their online community. Today, Jayla, 29, and Tony, 30, have stolen the hearts of over one million fans and supporters across the internet with their infectious love story and family TikTok videos with their two children, Braylon and Nyla.
Balancing their popular social media platforms with the responsibilities that come with parenthood and everyday life might appear effortless from a distance, but the couple understands the importance of taking moments to pause and prioritize their self-care practices in tandem. Because of this, the two are emphasizing their commitment to personal care by joining Dove Men+Care in their new #SelfCareforAll campaign that aims to remove the stigma around men’s self-care and how couples can embrace self-care together.
According to research commissioned by Dove Men+Care, 70% of men do not take part in self-care practices. With this statistic in mind, Tony hopes to use his platform to show that self-care isn’t exclusive to women and destigmatize the practice amongst men to show its benefits to everyone.
“It’s disappointing seeing men shy away from caring for themselves,” he says. “I’m fortunate to have a wife and a circle that supports me to be my best self. These stigmas on men feel outdated; it’s up to us men to remind each other why a little TLC in your life isn’t just for the ladies.”
Influencers Jayla and Tony Henry know the power of engaging in self-care activities as a couple.
Courtesy
Black men deserve to indulge in their self-care needs. In fact, studies show that men who engage in self-care are 44% more likely to support their families and communities compared to those who do not. When Black men prioritize their well-being, it allows them to be more present and effective in supporting their friends and family — which benefits our community as a whole.
For Jayla, engaging in self-care activities with her husband not only enhances their relationship but also fosters better awareness of each other's needs and encourages mutual support. And it doesn’t hurt that it ups the attention levels, too. “We all know it’s important to prioritize our physical and mental well-being, and I love how he prioritizes that for himself and for others,” she says.
“By knowing when to prioritize himself, he gives me the same grace. His dedication to taking care of himself shines through in how he shows care to me and our children. Having a partner that cares for themselves is (I’m going to just say it) sexy!” Jayla adds.
xoNecole spoke with the influencer couple to discuss the importance of men's self-care, Jayla and Tony’s shared wellness practices, how they’re passing down self-care practices to their children, and more.
The #SelfCareforAll campaign emphasizes the importance of men's self-care. Tony, how has your self-care routine helped you to show up for Jayla and your family? Can you share some specific aspects of your routine?
Tony Henry: Dove Men+Care and their #SelfCareforAll campaign is an incredible effort. I love how the brand is encouraging men to be more honest about self-care. Self-care is critical – for men overall and especially Black men. As brothers, it’s important to prioritize our well-being so we can show up for ourselves and our circle.
I like to be intentional about my days, so I start my mornings off by going to the gym and winding down with a post-workout shower. It’s the time I tend to my body and my mind before the day begins, and helps me show up with a clear head.
Many people believe in the concept that "couples who engage in healthy habits together stay together." How have you both incorporated shared self-care habits into your daily lives and how has this impacted your relationship?
Jayla Henry: We’ve been experimenting with shared self-care rituals and setting time aside to do our night-time routines together. It seems so simple, but when days are so hectic juggling work, kids, and life in general, having these joint self-care moments allows us to breathe and reset. I firmly believe it also strengthens our relationship since we’re more in tune with each other’s needs and can hold each other accountable to take care of one another.
"I firmly believe it also strengthens our relationship since we’re more in tune with each other’s needs and can hold each other accountable to take care of one another."
Tony: I second this. And we also pass down self-care to Braylon and Nyla. I’m not a barber, but I cut my son’s hair. This is quality time that also makes sure he feels good about himself. As a Black man, there’s a special relationship between conversations and lessons that are shared during this experience, and it’s a highlight for me.
Are there any challenges you've faced in integrating self-care into your relationship and individually, and how have you overcome them?
Jayla: As a woman, mother, wife, entrepreneur, and more, I feel I barely have time for myself. It can be easy for us to feel guilty for “putting ourselves first.” But self-care isn’t selfish – it’s something that Dove Men+Care reinforced to us when asking us to join #SelfCareforAll. In research they’ve done on self-care, they found just how transformative self-care can be.
Like Tony noted, I am fortunate to have a partner and a circle that encourages me to invest in myself both physically and mentally.
What advice do you have for individuals and couples seeking to build a strong and connected relationship, considering your own journey?
Tony: Relationships are like anything else, they take commitment, patience, understanding, and so much more. Like self-care, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all that people can implement. As the age-old saying goes: make sure you are loving yourself and who you are before you seek out someone else’s love.
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images