Facials, Manicures & More Self-Care Practices Your Man Needs To Start Indulging In Right Now
Ladies, be honest, what comes to mind when I say, "self-care"?
Let me guess, you probably thought of a woman (i.e. yourself) having a spa day wrapped in a fluffy robe or even a mani/pedi with matching nail polish colors. Am I right? Unfortunately, for men, the term self-care has somehow found itself coined as feminine. It's actually one of the very few gender stereotypes that kind of works in our favor and we literally dominate the self-care culture.
As a result, some men find themselves shying away from self-care due to gender-based stigmas. They fear that partaking in self-care won't be seen as masculine. But listen up men and women, men taking care of themselves is not feminine at all! It is so very necessary. In fact, ladies we should actually be encouraging our husbands, boyfriends, brothers, fathers, uncles, and male friends to take care of themselves and indulge in a little self-care, especially during these trying times.
Here are 6 ways that men can begin indulging in self-care today:
Facials/Skincare
This is listed first for a reason. It is so important that men take care of their skin, too. I mean, it's one of the first things that people see when they meet you. And guys, we can tell when you're not taking care of it. That is why I am all the way here for this recent Twitter thread showing black men taking care of their skin! Yes, fellas!
To be honest, I used to consider getting a facial as a luxury, but now I consider it maintenance for my skin. If you've never had one, it is a service performed by a licensed professional, usually an esthetician or facialist that includes cleansing, exfoliation, steaming, extractions, and a mask. Before COVID-19, I got a facial every 4 to 6 weeks while others may only get them just four times a year. How often you go is totally up to you and your esthetician or facialist. According to Men's Health, here's what you need to know before getting a facial:
- If you have sensitive skin skip your shave the day you get a facial.
- Be patient. It can take up to a week to see results from your facial.
- It may get a little uncomfortable when it's time for extractions and exfoliation. Trust me its's worth it though.
Manicure/Pedicure
I remember when it used to be a rare sighting to see men in the nail shop but now I'm almost always guaranteed to see at least 1-2 men during my visits. This trend of seeing more men in the nail shop is expected to continue. In fact, there are more and more establishments opening that only cater to men. Alpha Male Nail Care Services in Charlotte, NC does just that! If you're in the Charlotte area, be sure to check them out!
Taking care of your hands and feet is almost as important as taking care of your skin. There is nothing I hate more than seeing a well-dressed man with dirty fingernails. Getting a mani/pedi isn't just important for superficial reasons either. Regular manicures and pedicures help prevent hangnails, stop ingrown toenails, and help to soften corns and calluses. Oh, and the massage at the end is everything! Trust me!
Warm Bath
As someone who loves water, you would think that I would indulge in taking a warm bath for relaxation purposes more often than I do. But it was actually my boyfriend that taught me the benefits of taking a warm bath. While a bath can certainly be used for hygiene purposes or to wash away the day, it also has many other benefits such as alleviating muscle aches and pains, helping to regulate your body temperature, and helping you sleep better at night. So King, run a warm bath, put on some calming music, light a candle and enjoy.
Massage
Massages are an act of self-care that I'd say most men are probably fairly comfortable reveling in, however, research shows that more women get massages than men. Make time to get an occasional massage, fellas. You can literally get one anywhere from the spa to the airport. Massages help alleviate stress, anxiety, pain, tension, and can even enhance exercise performance.
Meditation
If you scroll through social media, you will no doubt become inundated with messages on healing and meditation that are directed at women. It's actually pretty disheartening that more men are not encouraged to meditate. Regular meditation can significantly benefit both your physical and mental health. There are so many different types of meditation, so there is literally something for everyone. Headspace.com has a great write up on the different types of meditation. I encourage my brothers to browse and find the one that is right for you.
Therapist
Mental health can be a bit of a taboo in the black community overall, but especially for black men who are expected to be strong and show little-to-no emotion. While it is important to take care of your skin, your body, your hands, and your feet, please don't forget about your mind, guys. If your mind isn't healthy, it really doesn't matter how healthy the rest of you is. More and more therapists are offering telehealth options due to COVID-19. There are also sites like Therapy for Black Men that can help you find a therapist in your area.
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Featured image by Shutterstock.
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Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images