Wale On How Going To Therapy Helped Him Redefine Self-Love
The only thing more satisfying than securing a bag is securing your sanity, and if you're not careful, the grind will grind you to death, sis; just ask Wale, who says he almost let the industry hustle him out of his peace of mind.
Earlier this month, the 35-year-old rapper, who recently released the critically acclaimed album Wow… That's Crazy, revealed his new love interest IMG model, India Graham, to the gram. But according to him, his newfound romance didn't come without doing some self-work, first. In a recent interview with Variety, the DC-entertainer explained:
"It's hard to love yourself when you've been famous for almost half your life and put so much merit in other people's appreciation of you… or lack thereof, when you're not being appreciated by the same people who made you, essentially. It's easy to fall out of love with yourself."
Drawing inspiration from friends like Issa Rae and Lena Waithe, Wale said that his latest album was his "most personal" project yet and served as a testimony to his journey to healing and self-love. He explained:
"There's a line, I believe it might have been in the season premiere of 'The Chi,' that says, 'Therapy is for white people.' It reminded me of the way we think as a people, and inspired me to get on my writing."
I don't know who needs to hear this, but Black men need self-care, too, and Wale noted that celebrities are not exempt from this fact:
"The first thing you can read in the morning is how trash our president is and what black person was killed today. That's enough to make anybody go crazy or be seeking therapy. Anybody can be triggered at 8:30 in the morning. We just seen a black woman gunned down by a [policeman] [Atatiana Jefferson in Texas], this keeps happening and it's almost like we're desensitized. They're going to do it so much until the whole world is desensitized and it's just like rain: just something normal."
In a recent interview with Ebro Darden, Wale, who is the father of a 3-year-old daughter, explained that his struggle with vulnerability originally started in his childhood and said that growing up in a traditional Nigerian household forced him to develop a less-than-affectionate perspective on parenting:
"It's because I come from—like, my mother never send me to school and kiss me on the cheek or kiss me goodnight. It's really just a fear but also, we love our parents and we respect them but it's more like a 'did you sweep the floor before I come home from work?' 'You ready for school tomorrow?' And it's not putting down my parents because many kids that have parents from other countries, they have different morals."
Although Wale says that while his child's mother has the emotional connection on lock, up until now he's struggled in that department. Since seeking professional help, Wale has grown to learn that he's had to find different ways to connect emotionally with his daughter:
"I never really talk about this with my daughter—but we talk about our kids all the time, personally. My baby mother is an amazing mother. But me, I struggle sometimes. And I didn't know this was going to happen. When you have kids, you don't really even know your true self for real, especially if you have a daughter. I didn't know I was going to struggle connecting emotionally to a baby girl."
"Sometimes how you were raised don't come to fruition until you're raising somebody. I never was like 'ga ga, goo goo' and all that stuff. It's love but how I do it. But the feeling is there."
To read the full interview, click here!,
Featured image by Giphy
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy