The question, "Who are you?" keeps showing up in my life. And to be honest, I am not always sure how to respond. Most recently, I have been approaching everything in my life with more intentionality because without it life seems chaotic. I think we have all been stretched in 2020 but I also believe that the stretching is going to catapult us into our best selves, similar to a bow and arrow. The harder the stretch, the further the distance.
Intentionality is just half the journey. We gotta put our actions where our intentions are. That's where the Mindful Moon Deck comes in.
What Is A Mindful Moon Deck?
Mindful Moon Deck/Marsha B.
Moondecks are affirmation decks focused on helping you become more aligned with yourself and your journey of discovery. For many, it serves as a self-love ritual, making it a great investment if you're looking to find peace and power through powerful mantras. Many are reasonably priced and offer a sense of contemplation that can only be deemed as instrumental.
This specific Mindful Moondeck is not like a regular moondeck. The set of 50 cards longs to be the inspiration and motivation needed to get shit done. From a reality check to words of wisdom, you can count on each card to push you into introspection. Most importantly, it was created by a black woman. Writer and Introvert N The City founder, Marsha B, designed this deck as she began to explore spirituality and what it meant for her in her life. She recognized there were areas in her that needed healing. Marsha shared with xoNecole:
"Essentially exploring spirituality is exploring your healing. During my journey, I used different affirmations that helped me really get in-tuned with myself. Not your typical 'I am' affirmations, but the ones that penetrate your soul."
"The ones that remind you to be gentle with yourself when you make a mistake. The ones that are real with you when you're in denial with yourself. I took those affirmations and made a 50-card deck. Each quote is rooted in grace and love for yourself, while giving grace and love to others," she continued.
In Marsha's experience, some people pull a card a day for their daily inspiration, while some pick a card when they need direction from the universe. Then, there are the people who use the deck as a clarifying card during tarot readings. For this millennial New Yorker, as she grows on her spiritual journey, she has began to incorporate a lot of what she experiences into her brand. Marsha says, "My online store also carries sage, incense, and crystals because they're great tools to use when you want to channel positive energy. I want to market high vibes and spirituality."
How The Moon Deck Works
Mindful Moon Deck/Marsha B.
- Shuffle the cards.
- Pull a card in the morning to set the tone for the rest of your day.
- Pull a card in times of uncertainty, or when inspiration is needed.
How The Mindful Moon Deck Got My Self-Care Routine Together
Joce Blake/xoNecole
I have been struggling with anxiety for some time now. It wasn't until I moved to Denver and had more time with myself that I was able to name it. In the past, I just thought it was natural to worry about everything all the time. I even thought that it was sign of failure.
My therapist said something in our last session that I can't get out of my head:
"Black women don't often recognize that they're struggling with depression or anxiety.
Instead, they think they're failing."
— Injera Mami🇪🇹 (@GloriaAlamrew) https://twitter.com/GloriaAlamrew/status/131473344...">October 10, 2020
Over the past two years, I have been trying to find ways and things that keep me grounded. In doing this, I have found that my soul really values having a physical resource that promotes love and light. The actual practice of pulling a card from the deck helped calm my anxiety. I decided that since it was a moment of stillness, I should add meditation to the routine. Meditation has always been a struggle for me because my mind wanders; having something to focus on – the Moon Deck card – was profound.
Adding the Moon Deck to my other self-preservation practices like writing in my self-care journal has increased my compassion towards myself. After reading a card, I feel more centered and ready to tackle whatever the universe throws at me. When I miss a day and don't pull a card, I can feel the difference because my day seems longer and my heart and soul feel heavier. I am so grateful to have this practice a part of my self-love ritual.
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Featured image by Joce Blake/xoNecole
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Entertaining Like Ayesha Curry: Expert Advice For Holidays Done Right
Be prepared to wow the crowd.
It’s officially the holiday season, which means parties and gatherings galore. Between Friendsgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve celebrations, many of us are preparing to host loved ones in our homes one or two times between now and the end of the year. No matter the occasion or season, hosting for family and friends is a labor of love. But we can also agree that entertaining can be overwhelming, especially for first-time hosts.
As a seasoned host and entertainer, Ayesha Curry knows something about creating a memorable event for loved ones. Whether preparing for an intimate dinner with your immediate family or hosting a larger crowd, your guests will think you are a pro this holiday season with her tips on everything from welcoming guests to setting a beautiful table.
Q: What is your top tip for hosting?
Ayesha Curry:Part of being a great host is spending time with your guests, which means you can’t be stuck in the kitchen. Prep is key! I usually serve wine with the meal, but a cocktail or mocktail is a great way to greet guests. I prep the garnish the night before and batch the drink just before guests arrive. When the party begins, I pull everything out of the fridge and am ready to serve.
Writer Note: If you would like to offer non-alcoholic beverages for your sober or sober-curious guests, I love Saint Viviana Cab. It maintains full-body cabernet and flavor; no one will ever guess it’s alcohol-free. You can easily create a signature mocktail using Bittermilk’s Smoked Honey Whiskey Sour mix.
Q: Do you suggest any prep for serving or cooking?
AC:I lay out all my serving dishes and utensils the night before with little post-it notes saying what goes where. That way, I’m not digging around for anything. For more elaborate menus, I lay out quarter sheet pans and label them with tape according to the dish. I prep and measure everything for each recipe and then load each sheet pan with everything needed to make the dish. I wrap each tray in saran or foil, stack them, and place them in the fridge. Pull out the sheet pan you need when cooking, and everything is ready. It’s something I learned at the restaurant that saves so much time.
Q: What’s one item that should always be on a dinner party menu?
AC: Bread or roll with butter is excellent for holding guests over if the kitchen is delayed.
Q: What’s one non-menu item you should always have on hand?
AC: For a non-menu item, wine!
Q: How do you decide on a theme or menu for a gathering?
AC: It all starts with the occasion and the guest list. If it’s a group that doesn’t know each other very well, I may get more elaborate with the theme to help break the ice. For a group of friends or family who don’t get to see each other very often, I usually keep it simple so the evening can be all about catching up. A great playlist, good wine, and a family-style menu are all you need.
Q: Should attendees be expected to bring a gift?
AC: If I’m hosting, I’m not expecting gifts. The gift is taking time to come over and enjoy a meal with me! But bringing something to enjoy at the gathering, like a bottle of wine, is always appreciated.
Q: What are three affordable gifts that guests can give a host?
AC:A bag of excellent coffee is a beautiful gift for a host. Sweet July’s House Blend Coffee is sourced from all-female co-ops, so it’s a gift I love to give to the women in my life. Whether it’s being served after dinner or just for the host to enjoy on their own, you can’t go wrong with a bag of high-end coffee.
Fresh flowers are great if you have a host who likes total control over the food and beverage menu. Go for something neutral in color that can work with any décor.
The Sweet July Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar set is my go-to host gift. Bottled in Napa, it’s a gift any foodie will appreciate - and use!
Q: What are some creative tablescape or decor ideas that you love?
AC: I like to keep my dinnerware neutral and classic (like this ceramic collection in nutmeg) and infuse color and texture through linens. For centerpieces, I want to use what I have in my yard. If it’s summer, it might be flowers or greenery, but interesting branches can also look architectural in tall, clear vases next to tapered candles in the colder months. There’s no need to spend a ton of money on flowers.
With Ayesha’s tips, you can create a holiday gathering that your family and friends will cherish forever.
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Featured image by Getty Images