The question, "Who are you?" keeps showing up in my life. And to be honest, I am not always sure how to respond. Most recently, I have been approaching everything in my life with more intentionality because without it life seems chaotic. I think we have all been stretched in 2020 but I also believe that the stretching is going to catapult us into our best selves, similar to a bow and arrow. The harder the stretch, the further the distance.
Intentionality is just half the journey. We gotta put our actions where our intentions are. That's where the Mindful Moon Deck comes in.
What Is A Mindful Moon Deck?
Mindful Moon Deck/Marsha B.
Moondecks are affirmation decks focused on helping you become more aligned with yourself and your journey of discovery. For many, it serves as a self-love ritual, making it a great investment if you're looking to find peace and power through powerful mantras. Many are reasonably priced and offer a sense of contemplation that can only be deemed as instrumental.
This specific Mindful Moondeck is not like a regular moondeck. The set of 50 cards longs to be the inspiration and motivation needed to get shit done. From a reality check to words of wisdom, you can count on each card to push you into introspection. Most importantly, it was created by a black woman. Writer and Introvert N The City founder, Marsha B, designed this deck as she began to explore spirituality and what it meant for her in her life. She recognized there were areas in her that needed healing. Marsha shared with xoNecole:
"Essentially exploring spirituality is exploring your healing. During my journey, I used different affirmations that helped me really get in-tuned with myself. Not your typical 'I am' affirmations, but the ones that penetrate your soul."
"The ones that remind you to be gentle with yourself when you make a mistake. The ones that are real with you when you're in denial with yourself. I took those affirmations and made a 50-card deck. Each quote is rooted in grace and love for yourself, while giving grace and love to others," she continued.
In Marsha's experience, some people pull a card a day for their daily inspiration, while some pick a card when they need direction from the universe. Then, there are the people who use the deck as a clarifying card during tarot readings. For this millennial New Yorker, as she grows on her spiritual journey, she has began to incorporate a lot of what she experiences into her brand. Marsha says, "My online store also carries sage, incense, and crystals because they're great tools to use when you want to channel positive energy. I want to market high vibes and spirituality."
How The Moon Deck Works
Mindful Moon Deck/Marsha B.
- Shuffle the cards.
- Pull a card in the morning to set the tone for the rest of your day.
- Pull a card in times of uncertainty, or when inspiration is needed.
How The Mindful Moon Deck Got My Self-Care Routine Together
Joce Blake/xoNecole
I have been struggling with anxiety for some time now. It wasn't until I moved to Denver and had more time with myself that I was able to name it. In the past, I just thought it was natural to worry about everything all the time. I even thought that it was sign of failure.
My therapist said something in our last session that I can't get out of my head:
"Black women don't often recognize that they're struggling with depression or anxiety.
Instead, they think they're failing."
— Injera Mami🇪🇹 (@GloriaAlamrew) https://twitter.com/GloriaAlamrew/status/131473344...">October 10, 2020
Over the past two years, I have been trying to find ways and things that keep me grounded. In doing this, I have found that my soul really values having a physical resource that promotes love and light. The actual practice of pulling a card from the deck helped calm my anxiety. I decided that since it was a moment of stillness, I should add meditation to the routine. Meditation has always been a struggle for me because my mind wanders; having something to focus on – the Moon Deck card – was profound.
Adding the Moon Deck to my other self-preservation practices like writing in my self-care journal has increased my compassion towards myself. After reading a card, I feel more centered and ready to tackle whatever the universe throws at me. When I miss a day and don't pull a card, I can feel the difference because my day seems longer and my heart and soul feel heavier. I am so grateful to have this practice a part of my self-love ritual.
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Featured image by Joce Blake/xoNecole
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
