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Brooke DeVard Is Proof That You Can Pivot At Any Time
The hallmark of creativity is rooted in the desire to bring ideas and spaces into the world that didn’t previously exist. Before our vision can ever become a reality, we first must see it in our hearts and minds. And at every career turn to the early stages of her award-winning podcast, Naked Beauty, that’s been Brooke DeVard Ozaydinli’s edge. “I've always gone out of my way to create things that didn't exist before,” she tells xoNecole. “I've been the person to raise my hand to say I can figure out how to do it.”
Before she became a beauty maven, DeVard was a corporate marketing specialist with a career resume stretching across some of the world’s top companies, including Ralph Lauren and Viacom. Most recently, she acted as the Creator Marketing Manager at Instagram and spearheaded the creation of the official creators' platform. “At Instagram, they didn't have an account to reach creators at scale, so I said we should launch an account so that we could reach them.”
When she first launched her beauty-centric podcast, Naked Beauty, in 2016, DeVard was led by her passion for skincare and beauty and her curiosity for untapped topics around natural hair, DIY beauty rituals, and self-care, thus creating what is now the universe of Naked Beauty Planet.
If you allow your mind to wander back to 2016, memories of “girl boss” culture and the rise of dating content might come to mind. At a time when podcasts and YouTube videos gained ground in pulling on women’s desires for love and corporate ascension, DeVard sought to create an audio experience that spoke to the curiosities of the everyday beauty lover.
“I'm all for empowerment, but I thought, is there a space to talk about the best waterproof mascara if you're going to cry all night?” she shares. That question alone has since laid the foundation to produce over 250 episodes of Naked Beauty, with a community of devoted listeners from all ages and stages of life.
“I want everyone to listen to Naked Beauty and feel like they're having a moment amongst friends,” she says. “To feel like there's that intimacy. I try to allow my guests to feel vulnerable and to share their vulnerabilities.” A guest list of which is peppered with beauty gurus and public figures like Pharrell Williams, Gabrielle Union, and John Legend gracing the mics to share their unique beauty experiences — a feat that DeVard could not have imagined.
“I was really passionate about creating authentic conversations around beauty and self-care in a way that didn't feel geared toward a particular goal, but I had no idea that it would grow as much as it has,” she recalls. “I did not see that at the beginning, but I think passion, hard work, and consistency over time always wins.”
It was these same passions, as DeVard illustrates, that led her to go against the popular adage, “Don’t quit your day job," and follow her creative nudges.
Before taking the leap into full-time creative entrepreneurship, DeVard imagined what life would look like if she truly went all in and bet on herself. “I asked myself, 'What would you do if you weren't afraid? What legacy do you want to leave behind?'” she recalls. “I have always used my time and expertise in service of other brands and companies to build up someone else's vision; but what would it look like to give 100% to my own thing?”
No longer using the “scraps” of her weekends to put towards her creative endeavors and taking failure out of the equation, she drove into her second act as full-time host of Naked Beauty in early June.
“If you are in a position where you have this feeling that you could be doing more or pouring into your own vision and business, you should listen to that,” she says. “Take the leap of faith. You're only here once, you only have one life to live. You don’t want to have that lingering feeling of, What if I had done this?”
As she embarks on a new era of her journey, walking in purpose is what’s making DeVard feel most beautiful. “I feel really beautiful in this era of my life because I feel like living in alignment with what I believe is my purpose and calling,” she says. “I think that when you are operating from this mode that feels like you're listening to your intuition and listening to your higher purpose, that's when I feel the most beautiful.”
xoNecole: What are some ways that you found helpful in building your creative team when you were first starting out?
Brooke DeVard: There are so many super-talented women that work in a corporate, medical, or tech career who have a passion and hunger to do something creative with the extra few hours they get in a week. And they just want to exercise their brain in a more creative way. I have found that if you put out a fun, creative project and ask people in your existing online community for support, you'll be blown away by how many people you would have never even considered would be able to help you.
That could be the person that could help you elevate your vision and potentially work with you part-time.
xoN: As we’ve reached a crossroads in the beauty landscape where beauty standards are being dismantled, and many Black women are embracing new cosmetic procedures, what is your take on the current state of beauty space?
BD: I used to be a little bit more judgmental about cosmetic procedures. But as I've spoken to people on the podcast that do injections and lasers and Botox and all the things, I’ve recognized that is all a beauty choice. We have agency over our bodies the same way if I want to wear red lipstick or get lip filler. I've learned that it's not about what you're “supposed” to do, it's about people being able to choose the aesthetics that they want, and people are entitled to that choice. But I do think it's very important to do your research and due diligence to know the doctor.
"I've recognized that is all a beauty choice. We have agency over our bodies the same way if I want to wear red lipstick or get lip filler. I've learned that it's not about what you're 'supposed' to do."
Photo courtesy of Brooke DeVard
xoN: What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced while building 'Naked Beauty,' and how were you able to overcome them?
BD: Being in a place where I knew I needed support, but I wasn't in a position to hire support. I do think that there's something really beautiful about that time period when you're just starting out on your creative journey, and you have to do everything. You're your own graphic designer and copywriter, but then when your team grows, you're able to brief them on exactly what you want.
There have been times when I've really needed help and wanted to expand myself in these ways, but it's all about patience and giving yourself time to grow at a rate that feels sustainable.
xoN: What advice would you give to someone who is interested in starting their own podcast or pursuing a side hustle in addition to their full-time job?
BD: I would say: just start. Don't let ‘great’ be the enemy of ‘good’ — and done is better than perfect. I think a lot of people get embarrassed about this gap between where they think they should be and where they are now. And if you're doing anything creative, your beginning product is probably not going to be great (unless you're like a prodigy). You have to just start putting yourself and your work out there.
People love to see a ‘come up’ and an evolution. It's an authentic part of your journey, so you've got to lean into those first iterations of your creative work, maybe, won’t be the best, and be okay with that. There's so much to be gained from putting yourself out there.
"People love to see a ‘come up’ and an evolution. It's an authentic part of your journey, so you've got to lean into those first iterations of your creative work, maybe, won’t be the best, and be okay with that. There's so much to be gained from putting yourself out there."
Connecting with other people and having an impact on others has to be what drives and motivates you — not looking cool, or having a certain amount of followers or vanity metrics — that's going to be the thing that allows you to open yourself up to sharing and expressing yourself. That's going to drive you versus getting it exactly perfect.
For more of Brooke, follow her on Instagram @brookedevard. Find episodes of the Naked Beauty podcast here.
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Featured image courtesy of Brooke DeVard
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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