There's a common misperception surrounding beauty standards and the black woman. Historically, black women have been the "purveyors of curves," which includes our thick thighs, small waists, big butts, big breasts, and full lips. I would say I have 4 out of 5. But just like all of us aren't naturally blessed with an abundance of tits and ass, all of us aren't blessed with a Kerry Washington pout.
While many women of color are fortunate to naturally be shaped like a "brick house" with body and lips galore, not everyone has that genetic makeup. It was one of the reasons I found myself sitting in the doctor's office last December, waiting to get lip injections. Yes, you read that right, lip injections.
I'm not sure where my dislike for my lips began – or if I would even call it a "dislike." I think I first started noticing I wasn't happy with them four years ago. It was January 2014 and my shoulder-length hair, that I had long associated with being a woman, had fallen out after trusting the wrong stylist. Without my hair, I became more aware of my face shape and the strength of my features. I looked more androgynous and felt that, along with my hair, my femininity now evaded me.
Lip injections wasn't the first place that my mind went to help me feel a little more womanly.
I started with my brows. As an entertainment journalist who does a lot of on-camera celebrity interviews at press junkets and the like, I had begun to feel like something was missing. After failing miserably a handful of times to fill in my brows myself, a makeup artist suggested I look into microblading, a process that would permanently fill in my brows. Call me naive but it was shocking to me to learn that many people were waking up with full brows as the result of microblading. After researching the procedure, I had my brows tattooed (known as "powder brow") in July 2016.
With my hair slowly growing back and my new eyebrows on fleek, I was also interested in fuller lips in hopes of looking less androgynous and more feminine. It was around that time that I started seeing fuller lips start to trend, so much so that every cosmetic brand seemed to be coming out with their own version of an "injection gloss," promising fuller lips. I have lips, but I wouldn't have minded them being a little more pronounced.
Out of curiosity, I purchased several of these glosses, but quickly discovered they were just a gimmick and a waste of money.
Still, I tried to be content with my small lips and I looked for "natural" remedies for fuller lips, which included homemade concoctions like mixing coconut oil with cayenne pepper.
I quickly grew tired of trying to mix potions in the kitchen, so I decided to up the ante and look into more long-term options for fuller lips. I had known about lip fillers for a minute, but admittedly, I second-guessed my desire to have them as a real possibility because I was convinced it was something black women didn't "do."
But, I found a handful of beauty vloggers online that were women of color that showed me differently. Dymond Goods, AliyahsFace, and DollFaceBeautyx were all transparent about their journeys and experiences with lip fillers. And their transparency helped to further affirm that I wanted my lips done too.
New year, new lips was the motto. I made my appointment for December 19 at LaserAway in Santa Monica where, one of the beauty vloggers that inspired my decision, Dymond Goods, had gotten her lips done. As I sat with the ice pack on my mouth and waited for the nurse to prep the needle, I thought briefly about the harsh comments I'd probably be met with for choosing to be candid about my experience:
"But your lips were fine…"
"You should just be happy with what God gave you…"
"Embrace your natural beauty…"
"You're black, your lips are already full!"
"You must not love yourself if you would alter yourself…"
I believe it's semantics to say it's "okay" to take a needle to permanently put ink on your body or holes through your ears, nose or belly button, yet it's abhorrent to take a needle with a natural acid that's also used medically to temporarily enhance your lips.
Note: lip fillers are not permanent.
The product used was Juvederm Ultra, which is made of hyaluronic acid, a naturally occurring component within your body.
So, lip injections only last about six months to a year as the product dissolves and your lips will return to their normal size if you choose not to get a refill. The time it takes for the product to dissolve is also dependent upon how much is used in the procedure. I only used half a syringe because I didn't want my lips to look obnoxiously obvious. But the results are so subtle that my roommate who's been my friend for over ten years hasn't noticed.
Weeks later, I confidently say that I plan to go back to LaserAway to finish the syringe. Having gone through the thirty-minute process once and the pain of the needle being a 5 out of 10, I think my lips can be even fuller.
Left - Before Lip Injections, Right - After Lip Injections
In speaking with Dymond prior to my procedure about criticism she's received online, she poignantly reiterated that "Self-improvement isn't self-hate," and I wholeheartedly agree.
There was once a time when I was self-conscious about my skin tone and my weight, but I'm so elated to have come to a really great space of self-love. Long before the lip injections, I came to a place of wholeness where I began to walk into a room with a big blonde afro, red lipstick and my best accessory, my self-confidence.
Just like my eyebrows, fuller lips simply help to further accentuate my look, it's an accessory.
Regardless of what objections others may have, I encourage you to do whatever helps you to feel like your best self. Sometimes it's as simple as getting your hair done, beating your face, or buying designer clothes. Other times feeling like your best self may be a more invasive process like braces to fix a crooked smile, and for others, it's liposuction or breast implants.
Regardless of what your "fix" may be, we have one life to live, do whatever makes you happy.
Would you consider getting lip injections? Why or why not? Sound off in the comment section below.
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Whatever. Supplements (and teas) have served me well — including when it comes to maintaining my vaginal health and so, as long as I continue to learn about the types of vitamins, minerals, and herbs that will do your body good, I will write about them.
Today, it’s about a mixture of nutrients that you’ve heard of and ones that you probably didn’t even know existed. The cool thing about this list is whether you’re looking for an all-natural remedy for yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis or how to elevate your sex drive — these eight supplements can do that and so much more.
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1. Vitamin B-Complex
If you’re borderline anemic, consistently low on energy, more stressed out than you would like, trying to keep your gut in good condition, and/or you’re looking for a non-medicated way to reduce the discomfort of migraines, B-complex can actually help you out with all of this. And since we’re focusing on how it helps us as women, it should also go on record that B-complex can make PMS symptoms a lot more bearable. Also, it’s definitely something that you should get more into your system if you plan on getting pregnant.
The reason why this vitamin leads the pack as far as vaginal health goes is that it can help to prevent vaginal dryness as well as speed up the healing process of vulvovaginal candidiasis, which is a type of yeast infection. So, if B-complex isn’t in your daily supplement regimen, maybe this will inspire you to change your mind.
2. Asparagus Racemosus
Asparagus racemosus, which is also known as shatavari, is an herb that can support vaginal health. On so many levels, this isa “woman’s herb” because almost all of its health benefits are tied to our bodies including the fact that it can help balance your hormones, reduce menopause-related symptoms, and help new moms to produce breastmilk. Some other cool things about Asparagus racemosus are it can reduce anxiety, lower blood sugar levels, and even help to suppress a stubborn cough.
Your vagina will appreciatethis herb because if hormonal imbalances are directly affecting your libido in a not-so-positive way, and you don’t want to take a prescribed medication to bring some relief, this may be the alternative that can give you the results that you’ve been looking for.
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3. Calendula
Earlier this year, when I penned, “Beauty In Bloom: 12 Flowers That Will Make Your Hair And Skin Radiant,” one of the flowers that I shouted out was calendula. That’s because it contains properties that help to treat acne and reduce eczema. Beyond that, though, calendula is bomb because it is full of antioxidants, can bring relief to muscle fatigue, strengthens your heart, improves oral health, and it can even bring relief to your nipples if they are sore due to breastfeeding.
What else can this herb do? Well, “she” will like it because it can also help to regulate your period and keep certain strains of yeast in check, and it has even been proven to reduce the symptoms that are associated with bacterial vaginosis (BV).
4. Fish Oil
If you want to get some omega-3s into your system, taking a fish oil supplement is one of the best ways to do it. In fact, as much as 30 percent of fish oil is made up of not only those fatty acids but also vitamins A and D. And with all of this working together, fish oil can help you to have lower cholesterol, make you feel less depressed, protect your eyes, reduce bodily inflammation, give you healthier skin and bones and even slow down aging as far as your brain is concerned.
Adding to all of this, fish oil is good for your vagina’s overall health and well-being because it not only helps to hydrate you from the inside out but, since it has a reputation for raising estrogen levels in your system, those two things can work together to prevent vaginal dryness.
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5. Motherwort
Traditional Chinese medicine is actually a really big fan ofmotherwort. That’s because it can do things like slow down the development of heart disease, treat anxiety, and for new mothers, reduce the amount of postpartum bleeding that they may experience.Other benefits of this herb include being able to fight off free radicals, containing properties that can help prevent bacterial infections, and that it’s an all-natural sedative if you’re looking for a (temporary) sleep remedy.
When it comes to vaginal health, specifically, since motherwort both regulates hormones and increases blood circulation, if more or intensified orgasms are what you’re after, taking this might be just what you need.
6. Sage
If you like to season your food with (fresh) sage, you are doing more for your health than you might realize. I say that because sage is an herb that is a pretty good source of vitamin K and calcium, as well as antioxidants. Plus, sage can help you to maintain your memory and keep your cholesterol levels where they should be, and it can help to stop the appearance of wrinkles before they even start.
Also, since sage actually mimics the effects of estrogen in your system, it can help to reduce the intensity of menopause-related symptoms like hot flashes, excessive sweating, and vaginal dryness. Not only that but if sage happens to be white, it can help to bring relief to menstrual cramps, too.
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7. Yashtimadhu
So, here’s something that you may not have known until today: Yashtimadhu is the Sanskrit name of the herb that’s more commonly known as licorice. In the Ayurvedic world, it’s used for things like treating ulcers, bringing relief to asthma, and bronchitis, reducing fine lines and wrinkles, strengthening your liver, and helping to keep you at a healthy weight. Yep, apparently, Yashtimadhu is where it’s at.
It’s actually due to the phytoestrogenic properties in Yashtimadhu that make it possible for you to take it and have less menstrual cramps, decreased menopause-related symptoms, and it can help to reduce vaginal dryness too. Plus, if it’s used in cream form, this herb can also help to reduce vaginal atrophy if you happen to be post-menopausal.
8. Zinc
I recently read that somewhere around two billion people are deficient when it comes to the mineral zinc. That’s super unfortunate because it’s what we all need when it comes to keeping our immune system strong, helping to suppress oxidative stress, decreasing bodily inflammation, and even keeping breakouts at bay. Personally, one of my favorite things about zinc is it can help with achieving strong and healthy hair (as well as preventing hair loss).
Your vagina likes zinc too. That’s because it also helps to prevent yeast infections and can help to slow down vaginal aging (as far as your vaginal tissues are concerned; check out “Vaginas Age Just Like Everything Else. You Can Slow It Down, Though.” and “Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth”) and some studies even reveal that zinc is effective as it relates to increasing sexual desire and arousal.
So, just like I started with vitamin B-complex and I’m now ending with the mineral zinc, if you add nothing else into your diet, please make sure that it’s “B” and “Z.” Your vagina will certainly appreciate it. And you know what? The rest of your body will, too.
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