

Research Says Hookup Culture Is F*cking Us Up. Here's What I Think.
Having a hoe phase and being friends with benefits are concepts most commonly utilized by generations that came after the 1960s sexual revolution. This is not to say these concepts were nonexistent before that time, but more so that they were not socially embraced...sans the colorful language, of course. However, the millennial generation was once baptized in what eventually came to be known as "hookup culture." One can only speculate that the social acceptance of hooking up is where things look extremely different from previous generations, as it has been largely accepted at this point.
In fact, it’s become so normalized that I have found myself feeling bad that I can’t get down with the get down. Not really. I’m that girl and have come to live with the fact that I always will be – casual sex isn’t for me, not penetrative anyways. In other words, I will get some head and head out. But casual penetrative sex always proves to be far too intimate for me to do without some type of romantic connection.
That being said, it has always been thought that women just don’t have what it takes to fully immerse themselves in hookup culture without eventually attaching strings. However, per this misogynistic TikToker, research alleges that hookups are impacting everyone as a whole and it’s not for the reasons we once thought it to be. In fact, what this research suggests, is like every other mammal in this world, we eventually learn to evolve with the circumstances instead of being written off as extinct. Hookup culture, be damned.
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Over time, the human brain adapts and rewires itself so that the new pattern doesn’t come with strings attached, and hooking up feels like less of an emotional chore. Though this might seem good at the moment, the same research suggests that if you are someone who eventually desires a romantic connection, your brain then has a difficult time remembering how to thrive under those lovey-dovey circumstances as it now requires itself to readapt and remember how to do so.
I’ve never been opposed to the protest against hookup culture backed by more reasoning than a societal “because I said so.” But, I have been opposed to how it is always framed as "the burden of women." It’s never a nuanced discussion and always a gendered discussion about how women are far "too emotional" to be able to tolerate hookups. Not only is it a problematic statement, but it is also false. Men are just as emotional as women, the difference lies in their inability to express emotion as anything in between anger and contentment (because I'm not even sure they know how to express joy).
Though I’m not deep into the research aspect of this, I truly do believe in "kill or be killed." I believe in evolution. This makes it difficult for me to ignore the likelihood that eventually a generation of brains would come to adapt to a new way of life, after all, it is a defense mechanism, yes? If we know human emotion doesn’t allow for us to instinctively hook up without the hurt and the attachment – wouldn’t it also be true that there would be far less hurt and difficulty exploring this new cultural norm if you shut all of it off? (Slight The Vampire Diaries reference there – the girls that get it.)
I do think we should be careful not to use this argument as a means to tear down other relationship structures that may fall into the consensual non-monogamy category. Why? Well,because I believe a hookup relationship stands alone in how it’s structured (by today’s unfortunate circumstances) in that they haven’t been conditioned to receive the care and candor that those in the non-monogamy community have poured into that category of relationships – though it absolutely should be receiving that level of devotion.
Much like the structure of non-monogamy, and despite what much of society thinks, the healthiest way to execute hookup dynamics is through strong, healthy, and ongoing dialogue. As it is innate for us to crave more, I think it is unrealistic and dangerous for there to be one sole discussion around the stipulations of a hookup without any aftercare/check-ins that allow for boundaries to be reset. If we were to treat hookups in a more healthy manner, I don’t know that it would hold the same emotional weight emotionally…mentally.
Nevertheless, I’m no scientist nor do I claim to be. And though promises of the future can seem far off, especially when you turn 23 and realize everything doesn’t magically fall into place by 25 as you once naively thought it might, we must be cognizant of our own emotional capabilities and observant of the shift we experience when making ourselves flexible to new cultural adaptations.
Though we all crave different types of relationships, my hope is that we do all crave the ability to intimately connect when it counts.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Improve The Look Of Your Under-Eyes With These Top-Rated Eye Masks
If there’s one part of the face that seems to be the most vexing to correct, it’s the under eyes.
This delicate area has a way of being tipped off by our irregular sleep patterns, stress, and the straining that comes from our computers and phone screens. From puffiness to dark circles, it can be irksome to find the right products to soothe our under-eye concerns. Thankfully, there’s one solution that delivers a brighter and more awakened look over time, and that’s under-eye masks and eye patches.
Eye patches are giving our under-eye bags an eviction notice because they can’t hang our glowing faces rent-free. The beauty of these patches is that they are designed to bring your eyes targeted results through concentrated doses of active ingredients directly to the skin under the eyes. Typically made of thin, gel-like material and infused with ingredients like niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, caffeine, and even green teas, these small but mighty patches depuff your puffiness, brighten your dark circles, or tighten fine lines.
While every under-eye differs in its needs, every eye can benefit from an under-eye mask or patch that suits its concerns. And to help, we’ve put together the best under-eye patches to hydrate, soothe, and brighten your eyes.
KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack
The KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack, is a retinol-infused, all-natural product designed to rejuvenate your eyes. It promises to provide hydration, smoothness, reduced puffiness, and brightness without the use of chemicals. With ingredients like retinol to refine skin texture and stimulate blood flow and aloe to soothe and reduce redness, it's like getting 8 hours of beauty sleep for your eyes.
Topicals Faded Under Eye Brightening Eye Masks
These cooling hydrogel under-eye masks from Topicals promise to fade the appearance of dark circles and discoloration in just 15 minutes. The set includes six masks and offers benefits that brighten, hydrate, depuff, and cool your under-eye area.
Peter Thomas Roth Potent-C Power Brightening Hydra-Gel Eye Patches
Grab these eye contour gel patches to brighten the eye area and combat signs of aging using a powerful form of vitamin C called THD Ascorbate, which is 50 times more potent than traditional vitamin C.
BeautyBio Bright Eyes Depuffing and Brightening Eye Gels
BeautyBio's Bright Eyes consists of 15 colloidal silver-infused eye gel patches designed to provide instant depuffing, brightening, and revitalization to the delicate eye area within 10 minutes. They also contain natural collagen to help diminish the appearance of fine lines, which we love.
COSRX Advanced Snail Hydrogel Eye Patch
COSRX
These viral hydrogel masks offer moisture and nourishment to rejuvenate tired-looking skin. Their Snail Secretion Filtrate contains "Mucin," an effective moisturizing ingredient that soothes damaged skin and delivers deep hydration, making it suitable for dehydrated and damaged skin types. Your under-eyes will thank you.
Peace Out Puffy Under-Eye Patches
Amazon
Try these caffeine-infused patches to reduce puffiness in the under-eye area. The product features clean, vegan ingredients such as caffeine, niacinamide, and hyaluronic acid for deep hydration and moisture delivery.
Dieux Skin Forever Eye Mask Reusable Silicone Gel Eye Pads
The Forever Eye Mask is designed to be the “last eye mask you'll ever need.” This thin, lightweight, and reusable eye patch can hold gels, serums, and creams close to the skin for better absorption, helping your skincare products work more effectively.
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