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Here's Why I Don’t Feel A Way About Using A Weight Loss Drug To Heal My Body
By now, you have all heard of Ozempic, Wegovy,Mounjaro, andZepbound. These are the newest drugs on the market prescribed for weight loss and obesity. Deemed as the "cheat code" for summer body goals, celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, Al Roker, Whoopi Goldberg, Amy Schumer, Tracey Morgan, Elon Musk, and Chelsea Handler have gone public about their use of the medication to aid in their weight loss journeys. And their results are giving. I mean, have you seen Oprah lately? The woman is 70 years old, and she is serving and giving it all.
Before these drugs were reclassified as weight loss medications by the FDA, these GLP-1 drugs hit the pharmaceutical market solely as a diabetes medication. The side effect of the drug is suppressed hunger and reduced “food noise.” These medications help overweight and/or obese patients successfully lose 25% of their body weight or more. Continuous debates on social media and news outlets are trending on the success of the drug in the fight against obesity, but also on the medical dangers and long-term side effects of using these drugs.
Nonetheless, the demand for these weight loss drugs continues to skyrocket, creating mass shortages from manufacturers Eli Lilly and Novo Nordisk.
The demand for these types of medication has created an unprecedented effect when it comes to access for patients with a medical diagnosis or not. Health insurance providers only cover the drug with a diabetes diagnosis or through an authorization process, thus creating an expensive out-of-pocket cost to patients. The cost of these medications is not cheap. Any variation of these GLP-1 drugs ranges from $1000-$1,500 per monthly supply.
Times that by three, six, or nine months – that is the equivalent of a luxurious international vacation or a down payment for a new car. Primary care physicians and medical specialists are writing prescriptions with no hesitation. And patients are willing to pay whether it is a medical necessity or not.
My truth: I am a 39-year-old woman who was previously 49 pounds overweight. I was prescribed a GLP-1 medication to heal my body, and I feel no type of way about it.
But before I share my story and justify my reasoning for using a weight loss medication, let’s first examine the facts to provide perspective and understand the underlying causes of weight gain because no two individuals's health and wellness journeys are identical.
2015 - the last time I was 135 pounds
Courtesy of the writer
The Weight Loss Drugs Facts Presented By Oprah
On March 18, 2024, ABC Network airedAn Oprah Special: Shame, Blame, and the Weight Loss Revolution.The purpose of the interview is to release the stigma, shame, and judgment for individuals who are overweight and how they choose to lose or not lose weight. The interview provides a 360-view of the biology of obesity, the use of weight loss medication, and the pharmaceutical industry. Invited to the conversation are users of the drug, medical specialists, representatives from the manufacturing companies of the medications, and the CEO of Weight Watchers.
The audience is comprised of current and past users of a GLP-1 or semaglutide medication. Oprah begins her interview special by openly discussing her struggle with her own weight. She states, “For 25 years making fun of my weight was a national sport.” In 1990, TV Guide referred to Oprah as “bumpy, lumpy, and downright dumpy.” Oprah also openly admits she starved herself for five months to lose 67 pounds on a liquid diet, which she gained back in less than days.
What The Experts Say About Obesity
Oprah states that the American Medical Association defined obesity as a chronic disease 10 years ago. Dr. W. Scott Butsch, Director of the Obesity Medicine in the Bariatric and Metabolic Institute at the Cleveland Clinic shares in the interview that obesity is a complex disease. Think about genetics, environments, food, sleep patterns, and microbiome changes. He states that it is the brain that controls body fat, food intake, and metabolism.
Obesity is defined as dysfunction of the regulatory system – when you lose weight, it intentionally slows your metabolism down, and your body is built to maintain your weight. Dr. Butsch continues to explain that some people are prone to hold on to their body fat. Therefore, it is wrong to shame people about obesity as they are subtypes of the disease in the obesity spectrum.
2018 - probably 160-175 lbs.
Courtesy of the writer
Types Of Weight Loss Drugs
Dr. Amanda Velasquez, Assistant Professor of Cedars-Sinai Surgery and Director of Obesity Medicine & Center of Metabolic Health states to date there are seven medications available to treat obesity, including glucagon-like-peptide 1 hormone (GLP-1s). This hormone is produced by the gastrointestinal organ and GLP-1s mimic what the hormone does and does it better. This means reducing food noise, feeling satiety faster, and slowing digestion. For people who are living with obesity, their GLP-1 hormone isn’t working properly. With that said, the medication reprograms the gastrointestinal organ.
Data does show that obesity patients would have to be on medications for the rest of their lives as the disease does not stay in remission. However, Oprah maintains her weight by hiking, walking, running, weight training, and a healthy diet. It is important to note that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved drugs like Ozempic 20 years ago for type II diabetes. Dr. Velasquez further states the side effects of choosing not to take the medications are higher than the mild side effects of nausea and vomiting – obesity is a disease, not a character flaw.
Weight Loss Issues
2021- 170-180 lbs
Courtesy of the writer
Now that we are clear on the biology of obesity, let’s get into my weight issues. I was born 0.9 pounds as a premature twin baby. I graduated high school at 115 pounds, graduated college at 125 pounds, and graduate school at 128 pounds. Given these numbers, you can see I was never a heavy-set person. Picture runway model skinny with tig ol’ bitties. Yes, that was me. It wasn’t until I transitioned into a high-stress career that my lifestyle habits began to change. I began to gain some weight. I went from 135 pounds in 2016 to 150-something pounds in 2017.
At the time some of my friends would say, “I look healthy” or “you look good” given I was in my early thirties. Now, combine a high-stress career with mental health issues, emotional trauma, and a worldwide pandemic together. Add 32 more pounds to the weight I previously gained – your girl is now THICC at 182 pounds. Even though I carried this new weight well, it was too much for my height of 5 '4 and small frame. Not only did I know this, but I felt it too. It was the way my clothes slowly stopped fitting me and the heavy breathing. It’s true – the body really does keep the score.
Returning To A Healthy Lifestyle & A Medical Diagnosis
March 2023- 150 lbs
Courtesy of the writer
In 2019, I left mycorporate career which eliminated my main source of stress. As the pandemic came to an end in 2021, fitness clubs fully reopened. I returned to the gym and my healthy lifestyle habits seamlessly. Please note I have always been a gym-goer or someone who enjoyed working out and eating healthy since 2011. I went back to my normal workout routine – running, climbing the stair mill, lifting weights on my own, and enlisted the help of a personal trainer twice a week.
It wasn’t until January 2022 that I noticed that the weight was not moving despite my clean eating and disciplined efforts.
In February 2022, I decided to seek medical assistance from my primary care physician, gynecologist, endocrinologist, and holistic/functional medicine doctor. It took a whole eight months before I received a proper medical diagnosis and clarity as to why my body was not responding to my normal weight loss efforts.
The answer was rooted in trauma and ahormonal imbalance, which gave me an autoimmune disease – Hashimoto Thyroiditis.
A Heavy Decision
June 2023- 133 lbs
Courtesy of the writer
It was September 2022 when I decided to pursue functional medicine to heal my body. I detoxed for 8 months with Chinese herbs, a paleo diet, and daily workouts. And it was the end of October 2022 when my endocrinologist said to me, “I am going to help you.” He said, “Have you heard of Eli Lilly?” I replied, “No.” My endocrinologist went on to explain that Eli Lilly manufactures the newest diabetes drug Mounjaro. A medication that beat clinical trials against Ozempic and Wegovy.
This new medication helps patients lower their A1C, and glucose, promotes insulin sensitivity, and helps patients lose 25% of their body weight. Keep in mind this was my first time hearing about medications for weight loss in general. I never had to be on medication for anything in my life outside the normal cold, sinus infection, flu, birth control, and hormonal acne.
The idea of prescribed medication to lose weight sounded absurd.
We are constantly told by the fitness industry to eat clean, eat our macros, stay in a caloric deficit, and work out. However, the body is complex – what they don’t tell women is that the problem is very much hormonal, and a holistic approach is required. At first, I was against using the medication because I did feel like it was cheating. I felt a sense of shame and anxiety too. “What are my family and friends going to say?” was my first thought.
I am the type of person who believes in discipline, consistency, hard work, and making the right decisions always gets you where you need to be. BUT, what my endocrinologist explained to me was that my body stopped responding due to my hormonal imbalance. He further explained that Mounjaro will stimulate my insulin (FYI insulin is a hormone) to function properly so that my body can naturally lose and/or maintain weight.
What I needed was what my endocrinologist referred to as a metabolic reset. This is achieved by losing 25% percent or more of my body weight. I had waited a good three months to secure an appointment with this man. And he wasn’t just any endocrinologist – he was the director of an endocrinology and diabetes institute. So, I decided to appease him and told him to “write the script.”
The Journey To Healing My Body
Currently 137 lbs
Courtesy of the writer
After I was prescribed Mounjaro and before I administered my first dose, I went down the rabbit hole of looking at TikTok videos from users who were prescribed a GLP-1. I wanted to listen to their reviews, success stories, and experiences with the side effects. I wanted to see what their diets looked like and if they gained any weight after coming off the medication. What I found was that most people did lose the weight they needed to. I also found that women who have insulin resistance (my initial diagnosis) and polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) were using GLP-1 medications too. They were also successful in achieving a healthier weight.
There were a few TikTok users who reported experiencing the known side effects of nausea, vomiting, bowel changes, and loss of appetite. When it came to diet, I noticed that either these people were not eating clean, unprocessed foods or they were barely eating at all. A lot of the content found on TikTok when it comes to diet was packaged, processed foods or fast food (i.e. Chipotle or Chick-fil-A salad). As for exercise, there were some people that worked out daily and others that did not.
With that said, my approach to using Mounjaro was completely different. I know myself, and my goal was to be healthy regardless of choices and sacrifices I had to make. I wasn’t interested in instant gratification, I was interested in longevity and sustainability.
Having started a holistic detox, I had previously adopted a paleo diet in conjunction with the medication. Organic meat, fish, vegetables, and fruit. I started to read food labels and if it had some long scientific ingredients – I wasn’t buying it. I also eliminated soy, dairy, sugar, caffeine, gluten, alcohol, white carbs, legumes, and inflammatory oils (seed and vegetable oils). I continued my daily workouts five times a week, controlled my stress, and adopted a new sleep routine.
Come November 2022, I injected my first dose of Mounjaro into my belly. I did experience changes in my bowels for one week as my body adjusted to the medication. It wasn’t enjoyable, but I survived.
I think I vomited a total of two times but I cannot confirm if it was a reaction to the detox phase I was in or the medication. By the end of December 2022, I had lost 15 pounds and by the end of February 2023, I had lost an additional 13 pounds. I continued to stay disciplined and consistent with everything I was doing. I was motivated by the results, more so because the medication wasn’t cheap and neither was the holistic detox.
By May 2023 I had achieved a metabolic reset by losing 25% of my body weight. My bloodwork showed an insulin level of below ten. The endocrinologist said going forward metabolic indicators are how flat my stomach is. Pay attention to my sugar and salt cravings – not the number on the scale.
Let me tell you my stomach is flatter than it used to be and I don’t crave any sugar or salt.
Courtesy of the writer
May 2024 will make it one year since I am Mounjaro free. And guess what? I have maintained my weight by strictly adhering to my paleo diet, lifestyle habits, and gym routine.
In May 2023, my weight was 137 pounds; in December 2023, I weighed 134 pounds. As of today, I currently weigh 137 pounds. I have achieved an insulin level (3.5) of a pro-athlete, which shocked my endocrinologist. In eight months, I will be 40 years old. I can run a mile in under nine minutes and three miles in under 35 minutes, and I lift moderately heavy for a girl.
I have no regrets about using a weight loss medication to heal my body nor do I feel any shame around my decision. My medical issues and circumstances are unique to me. I didn’t do anything different other than advocate for my health, seek the right answers, and execute accordingly.
For me, it is very rewarding to know that I am in good health thus far and the lab work shows. I am so grateful to have the information and resources accessible to me so that I could heal my body.
My physical transformation wasn’t just about losing weight – it was about getting back to myself. For years, all I wanted was to get me back. And that’s exactly what I went and did. I would say when it comes to navigating the decision to use weight loss medications to heal your body – listen to yourself first.
It’s okay to ask for help from your doctor – especially when it’s deemed medically necessary or if your body isn’t functioning properly. It’s not just about how you look and feel but it’s also about your general health too. Good health surpasses any negative opinions formed against you.
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Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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