Friday is one of the most anticipated days of the week and I'm sure you can guess why. For some people, it's payday, the last work day of the week, and also the beginning of a weekend filled with mimosas, brunch dates, sleeping in late, and bar-hopping. While many of us may want to hit the snooze button on a Saturday, the success that you may be wishing for and the personal goals that you want to accomplish, is probably interrupted by your personal weekend choices.
I'm sure we all know of that one person that is the epitome of success and we wonder how we can get on their level. I follow a few successful entrepreneurs on Instagram and I sometimes wonder how they have the time to nurture relationships, work out, be moms, take classes, slay all day, and run their businesses. The main thing that separates successful people like CurlBox CEO Myliek Teele, Issa Rae, Karen Civil, and health coach Massy Arias from the others is their attitude on life, and what they do with their time in the office and outside of the office.
Here are the top things that successful people do on the weekend that you should be doing:
1. They Don't Sleep In
Sometimes it seems like there are not enough hours in the day and successful people understand this so they don't sleep their mornings away. For 15 years, Starbucks President Michelle Gaas set her alarm for 4:30 a.m. to go running. Square CEO Jack Dorsey once revealed that he wakes up at 5:30 am to meditate and go for a six-mile jog. CEO of CurlBox Myleik Teele wakes up early on the weekend as well.
In an interview with Think and Grow Chick, Myleik said, "I wake up early and I have tons of friends that all sleep in. I wake up early, even on the weekends. I tell all of the girls that I mentor that 'for all of the time you're taking, your competition is four hours ahead of you, six hours ahead, however many hours ahead of you.' That's important and real. So if you think that sleeping in has no effect on your life, then you have lost already. For every hour that you give to your competition either by not reading, not researching, not networking, not connecting, not attempting to learn, it's just every place that you're putting yourself behind at."
What does this tell you? Getting up early on the weekends and using every hour of the day wisely allows you to allocate more time towards your day and teaches you discipline.
2. They Work Out
Successful people know the advantages of having an active mind and body, even on the weekends. If you follow Angela Simmons, you know that she is an active gym-goer and kickboxing fanatic. In an interview with xoNecole a few years ago, she admitted, "I try to work out everyday. I usually box or do spin classes. On my days off, I'll run stairs or run on the treadmill."
Meanwhile, in an Entrepreneur article titled, "Why Exercising Is A Higher Priority Than My Business," Josh Stiemle stresses the important of exercise and making it a priority:
If exercise stops, then my health goes downhill. With the loss of physical health, my productivity at work goes down. I become depressed. I lose motivation to do the things that makes my business successful. I've learned firsthand that excellence in one area of my life promotes excellence in all other areas of my life. Exercise is the easiest area of my life to control. It's easy to measure. Either I get it in, or I don't. When I do, it lifts up all other areas of my life, including my business.
3. They Make Time For Family And Friends
Successful people understand the importance of building and sustaining relationships, especially with family and friends. When you spend time with your loved ones, it can relax your mind, and it can help you maintain the relationships with people that mean the most to you.
In a 2014 study, it was found that people are naturally happier on the weekends because of what they do during their time. Normally on the weekends, people are off of work and have time to do more things outside of work that make them happy - most of which is spending time with family and friends. The amount of time that people spend with loved ones was shown to double on the weekends, and for those people, their emotional well-being tends to increase. Social interactions with others is good for the soul, and increases positive vibes. A lack of social interaction can increase negative vibes.
Buzz Marketing Group CEO Tina Wells believes in the power of social interaction with family and friends. Wells has been a CEO since the age of 16 so being extremely busy is normal for her. Although she is very busy, Wells tries her best to maintain an effective work and life balance. In an interview, Wells said, "I have a very big family (five siblings, 60+ cousins…) and spending time with them is very important to me. The concerts, recitals, graduations, impromptu card games…all of these moments are important to me, and there's no business success that can replace these moments."
4. They Indulge In Hobbies And Take Vacations
Successful people understand the benefits of engaging in activities that they enjoy. Whether that is painting, traveling, going to the movie theater, or going swimming, they make time to do the things that they love and this prevents them from getting burned out from work. In an interview, Marissa Mayer, President and CEO of Yahoo!, said, "I've always loved baking. I think it's because I'm very scientific. The best cooks are chemists... I'm a businesswoman first and foremost [but] my hobbies actually make me better at work. They help me come up with new and innovative ways of looking at things."
Successful people also take vacations. A quick getaway and change of environment is necessary to regroup every now and then.
Myliek Teele reveals in her My Taught You journal:
"In 2014, I decided to take as many vacations and breaks as I wanted. My year began with a trip to Savannah, GA to take a cooking class (and it was so much FUN) and walk around town. I went to Paris and Amsterdam TWICE! I absolutely love Cancun, Mexico, so I went there three times and spent my birthday in Puerto Vallarta. I decided to do that because, for years and years, there were so many things that took priority in my life. 2014 was the year of the BREAK, so I was really excited to enter 2015 well-rested and fired up!"
5. They Clean Up And Declutter
A clean house equals a clean mind. Messes take up mental space and provoke negative emotions. Removing dust, dirt, and clutter from your environment provides you with a cleaner, more comfortable atmosphere so you can feel happier and more relaxed. And when you are happier and more relaxed, you are more productive.
Most people use the weekend to catch up on chores, however, cleaning during the week can free up your schedule. Create a weekly schedule and clean during the week. Whether that is cleaning the bathroom on Tuesdays, and dusting the furniture on Wednesdays, dedicating your cleaning days to the week will give you the weekend that you need and deserve.
6. They Volunteer Their Time And Give Back
In Tim Corley's book Wealthy Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals, he found that 73% of wealthy people volunteer for five or more hours per month. Giving back relieves stress and it keeps you focused, not to mention paying it forward always brings more opportunities and blessings. Some of those blessing can include feeling healthier and being able to develop new skills, as mentioned in a recent Forbesarticle.
Also, volunteering can improve your well-being and can make you an overall better person. Michelle Obama spoke of the importance of volunteering and giving back by saying, "And in my own life, in my own small way, I've tried to give back to this country that has given me so much. That's why I left a job at a law firm for a career in public service, working to empower young people to volunteer in their communities. Because I believe that each of us--no matter what our age or background or walk of life--each of us has something to contribute to the life of this nation."
Weekends are a great time to volunteer in your local community, network, and meet other people. At many volunteer events, it is not abnormal to find business leaders, prospective customers, and other important leaders in your community. In a study, fifty-seven percent of people that volunteer their time admitted that they often meet business leaders and connect with future customers through volunteering.
7. They Relax And Reflect
Ever since I was a little girl, I always told myself that I would dedicate at least 30 minutes to myself. Being a girly girl that is obsessed with bubble baths, my "me" time was spent while soaking in bubbles. I personally see the value of dedicating 30 minutes to yourself every single day, especially on the weekends. Many times, we are so caught up in our careers, other people, and the world that we don't stop to relax and truly reflect. During my 30-minute bath time, I like to relax my mind and just think about ME and what I have going on. Sometimes I may listen to music during this time, but I find it more effective to listen to my own thoughts. During this time of relaxation and reflection, it is also the perfect moment to think about your week ahead, what goals you want to accomplish, and how you can be more productive.
Aristotle said it best, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit."
Be consistent, and follow the rules above to be on the path to your destined success. There are countless of successful people that do the exact things above so incorporating some of these strategies in your weekend can improve your abilities, your mindset, expand your network, and increase your success in and out of the workplace.
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This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Imma tell y’all what — it seems like not one week goes by when I don’t see some sort of so-called term that has me like, “What in the world?” For instance, when I first stumbled upon “self-partnering,” honestly, I laughed. Then shared it with some other single people as well as married folks I know. And I kid you not, every individual was like, “What the heck does that mean?” When I told them that it was yet, one more way to seemingly define single living, basically everyone’s follow-up was, “Oh, brother.”
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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