Around the xoNecole offices, we celebrate Black and Brown women in all their glory. We root for us when we're up, or when we're down. We celebrate when we win, and we love to see us shine. So when one of us comes a long with good news, and accolades on accolades, we celebrate with us, and we welcome anyone who wants to come get these celebration vibes too.
That's why when it was announced that Nia DaCosta made history at the box office, you know we had to pull up.
DaCosta is the 31-year-old director of the remake of horror flick Candyman, and she is well on her way to making her mark in the film industry (sidebar: that's the only namedrop ya'll are getting from me in this article because we don't play with that man around here, so keep up).
Anyway, not only did her new film have a crazy opening weekend, she made history in the process, becoming the first Black female director to debut at No. 1 at the U.S. box office. Prior to her, Queen Ava DuVernay had come the closest to taking the top spot, opening at number 2 in 2018 with A Wrinkle in Time.
[Redacted movie title] is an update of the classic 1992 horror film of the same redacted name, opened in theaters nationwide last week, and ended the weekend raking in more than $22 million, which is huge. DaCosta's version places the urban legend in contemporary Chicago and stars Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as lead character, Anthony McCoy, an artist whose career aspirations lead him down the wrong damn path. Whew.
Additionally, now with all the hoopla surrounding her and her great news, it's as good a time as any to get to know the director as she will be around for a long time. So, let's get to know the first Black woman to debut at the box office at #1:
DaCosta is all about putting a message behind her success.
With the premiere of the film was a "social impact initiative," a campaign created to promote conversation around issues explored in the film (such as gentrification), with the hashtag #TellEveryone. The campaign kicked off with screenings hosted by Lupita Nyong'o (who starred in Us) and Savannah and LeBron James hosting additional screenings in Atlanta and L.A. respectively. UCLA professor of Black horror and Afrofuturism interestingly spoke on the importance of her directing the film during a movie-sponsored round table discussion saying:
"Really what was fueling a lot of the fear around him, was fear of Black masculinity, Black men, fear of the urban jungle. I mean, Cabrini-Green itself is a 'monster,' really some of the worst stereotypes around Blackness. So it was very, very important for Nia DaCosta to come and reframe a story about Black trauma through a Black lens, not through the white lens."
These are conversations that the campaign is intended to spark.
Captain Marvel 2 is up next for her to direct.
GiphyOK, so Marvel is known for switching up its directors on its popular franchises like Thor, Iron Man and Captain America, and are now giving the next installment a fresh voice, and her joining the project is Marvel's effort of adding diversity to its films, especially when it comes to the individuals behind the camera. It's another history-making move for the 31-year-old director and screenwriter: The Marvels will make her the first Black woman director to sit at the helm of a Marvel movie.
Moving from horror to action has been a refreshing change in theme, DaCosta tells Entertainment Weekly.
"It's a lot less traumatizing to work on for sure. But this movie also deals with specific, personal, sometimes sad things. But ... it's been nice to work in a different world for sure."
With this film, DaCosta also becomes the youngest filmmaker to direct a Marvel film, beating the record set by Ryan Coogler. Flexxxx.
Sis, clearly has no bounds on how far she can go. We cannot wait to witness her young career evolve. Congrats, queen!
Watch the clip of her and actor Yahya Abdul-Mateen, discussing the film below:
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Featured image by Rachel Murray/Getty Images
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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