I recently read a meme that expresses my sentiments about menstrual cycles perfectly—"Periods are ridiculous. I shouldn't be punished for not being pregnant." The bloating. Ugh. The abdominal discomfort. Double ugh. The breast tenderness, irritability and trying to find the best way not to leak during the heavy days. Yuck.
Girl, and please don't get me started on one thing that frustrates me to no end—period pimples. Is it just me or does it seem like whether it's one or three zits, they always pop up in the most inconvenient-yet-obvious areas possible? Plus, 8.5 times out of 10, they leave a mark behind? (I'm getting pissed just thinking about it!)
Why is it that whether we're 20 or 40, it seems like there's no way to avoid the totally obnoxious period pimple? The medical reason is that right before (and during) our menstrual cycles, the testosterone in our body becomes higher than our estrogen levels. When this happens, more sebum (oil) is produced, which oftentimes leads to clogged up pores and ultimately breakouts.
The bad news is there isn't much you can do to prevent this from happening. The good news is, there are steps you can take in order to make coping with this totally sucky part of your cycle a lot easier to bear.
7 Natural Remedies To Treat Hormonal Acne
1.Eat Foods That’ll Balance Out Your Hormones
GiphyFirst things first. Since we already know that our hormones are all over the place in the days leading up to our period, it's a good idea to eat foods that will help to balance our testosterone and estrogen levels out.
Some of those include clean proteins like quinoa and wild caught fish; healthy fats like avocados and raw butter; foods loaded with antioxidants like leafy greens and berries and healing spices including cinnamon, garlic, ginger, cumin and turmeric (although it's best to consume turmeric in moderation because it can also increase blood flow during your cycle).
2.Drink More Water. Drink Less Alcohol.
Something that tends to happen when we're PMS'ing is we get dehydrated. When that happens, one of the outcomes is more toxins running through our system. The more toxins, the more likely we are to experience breakouts. That's why it's a really good idea to up your water intake the week before and the week of your period. Something that's even better is to make some of your own infused water. It tastes great and can give you some additional nutrients too (there are some delicious recipes here).
On the flip side, something you should drink less of (even if your body seems to crave it more) is any form of alcohol. For one thing, it's a diuretic (it makes you excrete water faster). Also, there are several studies pointing to the fact that consuming alcohol is a surefire way to put your hormones on a roller coaster ride. And, as we've already discussed, imbalanced hormones are the main cause of period pimples.
3.Do a Parsley Spot Treatment
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Beyond it being a garnish for our food, a lot of us don't give parsley much thought. It's too bad too because it's a food that's a pretty powerful antioxidant. Parsley contains vitamins A, B, C, and K. It also contains the flavonoid apigenin that helps to reduce our cancer risk, along with the volatile oil eugenol that reduces body inflammation. Plus, parsley strengthens our immune system and protects our blood vessels.
Since parsley is so good at reducing inflammation, it makes sense that it would be a great treatment for breakouts. All you need to do is combine 4-5 branches of parsley with 5-7 drops of fresh lemon juice, a half-teaspoon of olive oil, half-teaspoon of raw honey and 2-3 slices of cucumber. Take a spoon and mush everything together until it turns into a paste. Then, on your freshly washed face, dab a cotton ball into the solution and apply it directly onto your pimples. Let it sit for 15 minutes and rinse with cool water. It will dry out your breakouts without drying out the rest of your skin in the process.
4.Apply a Charcoal Mask
Skincare Brighten Up GIF by Vasanti CosmeticsGiphyActivated charcoal is one of the best ways to rid your body of toxins and chemicals. It's so powerful that it's oftentimes prescribed for food poisoning and even drug overdoses. Whether you're looking to get rid of gas, a hangover or to heal your kidneys and liver, you can't go wrong with this product (just make sure that the packaging confirms that it's made from coconut shells or woods made from ultra-fine grains; otherwise, you might not get all of charcoal's benefits).
Because activated charcoal detoxifies so well, it's one more all-natural way to get rid of your period pimples. It opens up your pores, pulls out all of the "gunk" and helps to heal your skin so that your blemishes won't be quite as noticeable. Also, it does all of this without drying your skin out too. If you'd like a step-by-step recipe on how to make your own charcoal mask, this YouTube video will walk you through the process.
5.Try a Tea Bag to Reduce Inflammation
Whether you're trying to bring a period pimple to a head or you messed with it before it was ready (meaning, before it had a head) and now it's bigger and more inflamed than ever, something that can help to reduce a pimple's redness and size while speeding up its healing process is to place a warm herbal tea bag over it.
The heat from the bag will open up your pores. The herbs contain tannins that help to treat and heal the zit (black tea bags are best, tannin-wise). I like the tea bag approach because I've noticed that it helps to decrease my chances of having a long-term acne scar once the pimple has gone down and that's always a win.
6.Use Potato Juice, Honey and/or Carrot Seed Oil for Scars
rosh hashana satisfying GIFGiphyThe only thing worse than a zit is the mark that it leaves behind. Before applying foundation to your acne scars, first put on a little potato juice, honey and/or carrot seed oil. Potato juice contains vitamins B6 and C, potassium and niacin—all of which boosts your immune system and reduce skin inflammation; it also contains properties that can help to lighten acne marks over time. Honey contains powerful antioxidants that will heal damaged scar tissue. Plus, while your skin is in its healing stages, when you apply honey to it, it produces a hydrogen peroxide effect that aids in removing germs too (just make sure the honey is organic). And carrot seed oil? It also has antibacterial and antifungal properties in it; ones that are so powerful that it's great at healing old scars.
As far as honey and carrot seed go, all you need to do is dab a little of them (whether separately or together) on your finger and apply them to your skin before turning in at night; then rinse in the morning. If you want to learn how to make potato juice to apply to your acne scars as well, click here.
7.Take a Nap
Really…what doesn't a nap cure? When you rest, it gives your body time to rejuvenate, your skin included. Something else that sleep does is give your body the opportunity to get a dose of serotonin, which balances out your hormone levels. The more balanced they are, the healthier your skin will be.
So, try and get no less than 6-8 hours of zzz's every night. If there is a day or two that you miss, treat yourself by taking a 15-30 minute nap during the daytime hours too. Your entire body—including your period pimples and scars—will be eternally grateful.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Although I’m not exactly sure that writing about sex as much as I do was on my life’s work bingo card back in the day, I must admit that it has always been a topic that has fascinated me. I think it’s because, even though society likes to gaslight us by acting like the act is “no biggie,” there is way too much data out here that says otherwise. Hmph. Not like I needed the data in the first place because, in my opinion, any act that is responsible for creating life, that is something that is a pretty BIG deal.
So, today? Today, we’re going to tackle how sex impacts us when it comes to our energy fields. What (mostly) inspired this is once reading a science-based article about how it is a fact and not a myth that just like plants can absorb energy from other plants, humans can do the same thing by being in the space of other human beings. And when you stop to really think about it, doesn’t that make all of the sense in the world?
Otherwise, there wouldn’t be terms out here like “peer pressure” and big grown folks wouldn’t be out here trying to look and act just like some of their favorite celebrities or IG influencers (and yet, on that point, I digress).
So, since energy impacts us in some pretty significant ways, let’s take a few moments to see how it goes down when it comes to copulation — just so that you’re (even more) aware of what you’re getting yourself into when you “do the do,” as far as your personal energy space is concerned.
Energy. Revisited.
GiphyOkay, so before we get all up in how energy is exchanged during sexual activity, what is energy as it relates to human beings, in general? Well, in some ways, it all depends on who you ask. For instance, the famed Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that energy is about having the capacity to do something. Some medical experts say that energy is all about how something impacts you on a mental or physical level.
For instance, negative energy tends to be very heavy and draining while positive energy can increase feel-good chemicals throughout your system which makes it easier for you to do things like be creative and problem-solve. Something else that I think is important to keep in mind as far as human energy goes is it’s impacted by a myriad of things including a person’s stress levels, how healthy a person is, what their life choices are (as far as how their decisions influence them) and even what their sleep patterns are like.
And if all of this is true, then something else that Aristotle once said about energy would be beyond accurate: “The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
Energy is life. Whew, so if this is indeed the case, does this mean that when you choose to have sex with someone, you are sharing your life force — whatever state that may be — with someone as they are doing the same to/for/with you? YES.
What Does It Mean to Exchange Sexual Energy?
GiphySince I grew up in an entertainment industry household, I think that’s probably why I’ve ended up with some close friends who are in the industry as well. That said, I will never forget when I was talking to one of them one day about a particular artist. When I expressed how much sex appeal that she had, my (male) friend simply said, “Yeah, I’ve been in her presence a few times before. She has some really dark energy. I didn’t even hug her.”
Now from a scientific standpoint, dark energy is simply what causes the universe to accelerate in growth over a certain period of time; however, when a person is described to have dark energy, that usually means that they have an evil and/or negative and/or heavy and/or draining aura about them. And y’all, here’s what’s semi-wild about what he said: did you know that science backs that hugs do indeed transfer energy?
Yep, research reveals that a hug from someone can literally alter your brain and body chemistry — so you definitely need to be discerning about who you let up into your affection space. Straight up. And so, since a hug has the capacity to do that, how much more can SEX?
To further emphasize this, let’s begin with an article that I read on Healthline’s website entitled, “Do We Really Exchange Energy During Sex?” After checking it out, one of the main things that I appreciated was when a doctor who was interviewed for the piece said:
“Every sex act is an exchange of energy [because] every sexual act raises or lowers your energy level…Therefore, a sexual relationship isn’t a purely psychological or physiological, mechanical act…Rather, it’s an energetic action. When we have an intimate relationship with someone, the two energies merge.”
Okay, so according to science, when two people have sex, energies merge. Well, according to Scripture, when two people have sex, oneness transpires (Genesis 2:24-25). Let’s keep going.
There was once a Physician-scientist by the name of Wilhelm Reich (who actually died in prison, in part, because of his radical beliefs on sex and orgasms during his time), who once said that having a healthy sex life (which, to him, including orgasms and is what he referred to as “orgastic potency”) is what played a huge role in one’s emotional health and well-being. That’s because, to him, without the release of sexual energy, neurological disorders would be come to be.
My takeaway from this is when you think about the fact that things like serotonin, dopamine, and the “the bonding chemical” oxytocin are all released during sex (and most certainly during orgasms), and also since sex (and orgasms) reduce stress — you need to tend to your sexual energy for the sake of your holistic health. Let’s continue on.
After reading an article on sexual energy on Cosmo’s website in which one of the sex therapists said that “our sexuality is our power" and then reading an article on the same topic on Well + Good’s platform where another expert stated that, “Many belief systems believe sexual energy is an expression of the soul's connection to the cosmos and the rest of the universe”, I thought about the word “power” and then “soul connection.”
At the end of the day, power isn’t just ability but the capability to influence and even take authority over something or someone. And a soul connection? Several years ago, when I penned a piece for the platform entitled, “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” one of the things that I made sure to emphasize is your soul IS also your life. This means that soul connections are life connections.
And so, it would appear that sharing sexual energy also means that you are making a life connection with someone. And that type of connection has the power to influence you in ways that you couldn’t even begin to imagine. That is how deep exchanging sexual energy is.
What You Should Always Keep in Mind Before Sharing Sexual Energy with Someone Else
GiphyNow are there degrees to this whole sexual energy thing? Of course. The type of connection that a husband and wife of 20 years can make via sex is very different than a one-night stand. However, it would appear that science believes that it doesn’t really matter what you tell yourself about sex with someone (or even how many condoms you may use during sex) — potent energy is exchanged regardless.
That’s a huge part of the reason why I will forever roll my eyes about how ridiculous “casual sex” sounds to me, because, although I do believe that it is very possible to engage in coitus that has no real purpose (casual is purposeless, by definition), what isn’t possible is for there not to be a significant connection made from a scientific standpoint. Because again, if a mere hug can alter you (shoot, a handshake too), do you really think that allowing a man’s penis into the sacred space known as your vagina will not? After reading all of this…do you really?
When it comes to energy, author T. Harv Eker once said, “Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.” With all that was just shared about sexual energy, each and every person you choose to “engage” with, they are either going to affect you or infect you — just with their energy alone.
Knowing this, if there was ever a time to choose wisely, this would be it.
Your energy is your power. Who you exchange power with? CHOOSE WISELY.
EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.
And because energy can shift…be cognizant of what you’re doing…EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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Featured image by Giphy