30+ Powerful Ways To Invest In Yourself Right Now
There's an old quote by author and sales strategist Tom Hopkins that says, "You are your greatest asset. Put your time, effort, and money into training, grooming, and encouraging your greatest asset." Simply put, invest in yourself. So many of us are busy constantly investing and pouring into our spouses, our kids, and our jobs that we forget all about ourselves. You probably read that and thought to yourself that you are obligated to invest in the kids, the job, and the spouse. You're right. But that should be at the expense of yourself and certainly not before you invest in yourself. Investing in yourself will help you best serve others.
Sure, it may take some practice and change of mindset, but the good news is that you can start small and start right now. Here are more than 30 ways you can begin investing in yourself today:
1.Exercise Regularly
Image via Shutterstock
Exercising regularly is a sure way to create not only a healthy body but also a healthy mind. Beginning an exercise routine can seem daunting at first but try not to get intimidated. There are so many different ways to exercise. You can walk, jog, lift weights, do yoga, Pilates, or even jump rope. Start slow and gradually build up. Be creative and have fun!
2.Therapy
Image via Shutterstock
While exercising can certainly help you concentrate and feel mentally sharp, there will inevitably be times in all of our lives that we need to talk to a professional. Therapy is one of those things that I think everyone should try at least once in their lives. The benefits are numerous.
3.Create a Side Hustle
Image via Shutterstock
The great Warren Buffet (whose net worth is more than $86 billion) once said that you should never depend on a single income. In other words, multiple streams of income are the move! I know people who have a second (and sometimes third) stream of income doing everything from tutoring, to writing, to event planning, to interior decorating. If you're not sure where to start, take some time to think about what you're passionate about and start there.
4.Find a Mentor
Image via Shutterstock
So, you've identified your passion. Now what? If you're at a loss as to what the next step should be, it might be beneficial to find a mentor who is an expert in that area. You'd be surprised who would be willing to share their knowledge and experiences. For some, you might have to pay for their services because mentoring could very well be their side hustle.
5.Learn a New Language
Image via Shutterstock
As the world becomes more and more diverse, learning a new language has never been more necessary. The great news is that you can learn a new language right from the comfort of your home and what better time than now to start since we're all spending more time than usual in the house. Resources like Rosetta Stone and Babbel offer online language courses as low as $6 a month.
6.Travel
Image via Shutterstock
When most people hear the word travel, they immediately think it requires traveling out of the country. However, with COVID-19 still running rampant and so many people out of work as a result, that may not be feasible for everyone right now. Lucky for you, travel does not have to be expensive. You can start small by taking a road trip or even exploring your own city. Travel is more about new experiences than the destination. If you want to travel out of the country, start a travel fund so you can save up and show off that second language you learned!
7.Pay Off Debt
Image via Shutterstock
This is one of the most freeing experiences ever. Being in a ton of debt can cause stress, depression, and anxiety. A popular way to pay off debt is with the debt snowball method which means you pay off your debts in order from smallest to largest. You pay more than the minimum amount due on the smallest debt and pay the minimum amount due on all other debt. Once you have paid off the smallest debt, you move on to the next smallest. Author Dave Ramsey explains more about how the debt snowball works here. Minimizing debt and being debt-free reduces stress, improves your credit score, and gives you financial security.
8.Create a Budget
Image via Shutterstock
The word budget probably makes you want to roll your eyes, or it may even trigger a bit of anxiety. It shouldn't. Think of a budget as simply a plan for what you're going to do with your money. That's it. Creating a budget can help you save money, meet your financial goals, and stop wasting money. Once you stop spending $150 a month on coffee, you'll thank yourself.
9.Start a Savings Account
Image via Shutterstock
Already have one? Perfect! Now start putting money in that thing! Seriously, pick an amount and commit to adding that to your savings each time you get paid. You can start small if you have to and gradually increase. Trust me, it will add up.
10.Buy a Plant
Image via Shutterstock
Plants are not only aesthetically pleasing and sure to make any space look better but they are good for you too. Plants can remove air pollutants as well as help give your immune system a little boost. With flu season right around the corner and COVID-19 still looming, we could all use an immune system boost. If you're worried about not having a green thumb, check out our article to learn more about houseplants that are easy to care for and don't require a green thumb here.
11.Practice Meditation
Image via Shutterstock
With everything going on in the world today, it's easy for any one of us to become stressed. This is where meditation comes in. It just requires a little practice and can be done virtually anywhere. According to Headspace, meditation is not about turning off your thoughts or feelings but learning to observe them. Consistency, not perfection, is key when learning to meditate. The more you practice, the better you will become at it.
12.Schedule a Doctor's Appointment
Image via Shutterstock
At least once a year, you should be going to your doctor and getting a check-up. This will help your doctor determine the general status of your health. A yearly physical is also a good time to ask questions or discuss any changes that you may have noticed in your body.
13.Perform a Breast Self-Exam
Image via Shutterstock
It's quick and painless, so no excuses ladies! Early detection is key. It's so important that you do a self-exam on your breast regularly so that you will get to know what is normal for you. That way you are immediately alerted when something is abnormal.
14.Practice Gratitude
Image via Shutterstock
The benefits of practicing gratitude are endless. I'll keep it short and sweet though, it just feels good. Let me give you an example. A few weeks ago, I had to get some car repairs. When the service technician called me with the total, he told me it was $3,800 to fix my car. I immediately got upset. Of course, that was not a good feeling. But then I took a moment and thought about how a few years ago I would not have had the money to fix my car. Then I thought about how I currently had the money sitting in my savings account to get my car fixed, and I immediately switched to a spirit of gratitude. I instantly felt better and grateful.
15.Learn a New Recipe
Image via Shutterstock
Adding just one new recipe to your arsenal every few months will improve your cooking skills, offer you more variety, and even save you money. Cooking also allows you to create healthy meals at home and you can feel satisfied that you know exactly what you are putting into your body. So whether you invest in a cookbook or scour the web, make an effort to learn a new recipe at least every couple of months.
16.Get More Sleep
Image via Shutterstock
Not getting enough sleep not only makes you cranky the next morning but it can also be detrimental to your concentration and even your health. Likewise, getting more sleep makes you feel sharper and boosts your immune system. Try going to bed just an hour earlier and feel the difference.
17.Stop Procrastinating
Image via Shutterstock
Procrastination is something that we're all guilty of doing a time or two (or five) in our lives. It can seem easier to put off the things we need to do until later, but it's actually easier to just dig in and get them done. You'll feel less stressed and more accomplished after you do. Lifehack shares 11 steps you can take to stop procrastinating:
- Break your work into little steps.
- Change your environment.
- Create a detailed timeline with specific deadlines.
- Eliminate your procrastination pit stops.
- Hang out with people who inspire you to take action.
- Get a buddy.
- Tell others about your goals.
- Seek out someone who has already achieved the outcome.
- Re-clarify your goals.
- Stop overcomplicating things.
- Get a grip and just do it.
18.Get a Massage
Image via Shutterstock
Massages used to be considered a luxury, but over the years they have become a treatment modality for stress and pain reduction. You can get a massage anywhere from the airport to the spa at many different price points. Don't wait until a special occasion. Get one now!
19.Create a Skincare Routine
Image via Shutterstock
Like most things in life, it is easier to prevent damage to your skin than to try to fix the damage that has already occurred. This is why it is so important to create a skincare routine and stick with it. Simple things like washing your face at night, wearing sunscreen, and keeping your face moisturized are key to great skin. If you need help developing a skincare routine talk to a dermatologist or esthetician.
20.Get Life Insurance
Image via Shutterstock
I know that we don't like to think about our mortality but it is so important. Even a small policy can help protect your family and bring your loved ones peace of mind. If the thought of it all has you confused, Fidelity has a great summary here that will help clarify things for you.
21.Create a Morning Routine
Image via Shutterstock
A strong morning routine sets the tone for your day and can help you have a more productive day. A strong routine is going to look different for each of us. It's about what works for you and that's the beauty of it. It's your routine. The routine that helps you be your best self. If you know that scrolling through social media as soon as you open your eyes in the morning makes you feel bad, then cut it out. Instead, try replacing social media scrolling with something that makes you feel good like journaling, setting intentions, or working out.
22.Take a Class
Image via Shutterstock
There are classes available for anything you can think of whether it's boxing, makeup, painting, or writing. You name it, there is probably a class for it. Taking a class is a fun way to discover new passions and enrich existing ones.
23.Declutter
Image via Shutterstock
I don't know about you, but having a lot of clutter in my house causes me to feel overwhelmed, which is why every few months I make sure to declutter. I don't have a set schedule. I just do it as I feel the need arises. I go through my closets, my drawers, or my kitchen and either get rid of things or organize them. Afterward, I feel like I've decluttered my mind a bit and can breathe better.
24.Invest Your Money
Image via Shutterstock
Investing your money is very much an investment in yourself. Financial expert, Chanel Scott's advice to younger generations is to start investing early. If you don't consider yourself to be a part of the younger generation, don't worry. It's never too late to start investing. Do your research, find the way that works best for you, and get started.
25.Write In a Journal
Image via Shutterstock
People journal for different reasons, but I think that everyone who does it would agree that it does wonders for their mental health. Journaling is a healthy way to get all the thoughts out of your head and onto paper, subsequently helping with self-expression, anxiety, and even promoting self-reflection.
26.Network
Image via Shutterstock
I guarantee that some of the world's most successful people got that way in part by networking. Networking is a powerful tool with endless benefits. It opens the doors for new opportunities and can put your name in rooms you haven't even stepped foot in yet. Thanks to COVID-19, you may not be able to do a lot of in-person networking but thankfully virtual events and social media sites like LinkedIn provide opportunities for you to connect with like-minded people.
27.Forgive
Image via Shutterstock
Let me preface this one by saying that forgiveness does not mean that you forget nor does it mean that you keep toxic people around you. Forgiveness simply means that you release the energy of anger and resentment and instead usher in the energy of forgiveness, acceptance, and letting go. Forgiveness is for you, not other people, so whether they are deserving of forgiveness doesn't matter. Do it for yourself.
28.Drink More Water
Image via Shutterstock
How much water you should drink a day is debatable and largely depends on who you ask, but one thing that is not up for debate is that water is undoubtedly good for you. Water promotes skin health, regulates body temperature, and flushes waste from the body just to name a few of the benefits. Start small by drinking at least a glass a day and gradually increase your intake. Trust me, your body will thank you.
29.Read a Book
Image via Shutterstock
Reading a book can be a beautiful escape or a way to expand your knowledge. It doesn't matter if it is fiction, non-fiction, or self-help, reading builds vocabulary, helps to prevent cognitive decline, and improves focus and concentration. Buying or checking out books, not your thing? No worries, download an audiobook and sit back, relax, and escape.
30.Set a Goal
Image via Shutterstock
And then crush it! It can be big or small—it doesn't matter. What's important is that you work toward meeting that goal. Setting and meeting goals give you such a feeling of accomplishment. Once you meet a goal, set another one. It will quickly become a lifestyle.
31.Take a "Me" Day
Image via Shutterstock
With all of the things that you have to do on a daily basis, it can seem like there aren't enough hours in a day making a "me day" seem pretty impossible to achieve but that is exactly why it is so important to take one. If you absolutely, positively can't take a whole day, try to at least take a few hours. Go to the places that you love and do the things that you love to do—or do nothing at all.
32.Love Yourself
Image via Shutterstock
Most people will verbally tell you that, of course, they love themselves, but do our actions reflect that self-proclaimed self-love? Do we pour into ourselves? Do we honor ourselves? Do we show up as our best selves? Truly loving yourself is one of the best ways to invest in yourself. The best part is that it is priceless.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Shutterstock
- The 33-Year-Old Accountant Whose Worst Money Decision Was Not ... ›
- This Young Filmmaker Used A $5,000 Self-Investment To Manifest ... ›
- Kandi Burruss: Invest In Yourself - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love ... ›
- Opportunity To Invest In Yourself - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love ... ›
- Why Personal Development Is The Best Project You Can Ever Invest In ›
- Money Talks: 5 Tips Our Favorite Celebs Gave Us About Securing A Bag - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- This Young Filmmaker Used A $5,000 Self-Investment To Manifest Her Dream Life - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Love Yourself More, Better Me Time - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- A Black Woman Helped Popularize Pilates + Other Things To Know About The Exercise - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, & Wellness ›
Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
Mavocado/ Getty Images
According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by fizkes/ Getty Images