

While a lot of people seem to think that getting a massage is more of a luxury than a necessity, when you stop to ponder all of the benefits that come with getting one, I would certainly beg to differ. Receiving a massage from a reputable massage therapist is able to do everything from decrease your stress levels and reduce pain and tension throughout your body to increase flexibility, improve your sleep patterns, boost your immune system and put you in a much better mood—even after only one session.
So, if you're someone who gets them on the regular, and there is a part of you that feels a little guilty due to the price tag, please don't. You are doing your mind, body and spirit a world of good by booking those appointments. On the other hand, if you've never gotten a massage before (or it's been years since you've had one), take a moment to check out 12 different types of massages (this is just some; believe it or not, there are actually several more) that are specifically designed to treat whatever it is that (physically) ails you.
12 Different Types Of Massages
1. Swedish Massage
Even though the Swedish massage is probably the most popular one out of this particular bunch, the something new that I learned is only English- and Dutch-speaking countries call it that; everywhere is, it's referred to as being the "classic massage". It consists of five basic massage strokes—gliding, kneading, tapping, cross-fibers and vibration—and it's great at relieving muscle discomfort, joint stiffness and lower back pain.
A Swedish massage typically takes somewhere between 30-90 minutes and is an awesome option if you're someone who happens to have never experienced the pleasure of a professional massage before.
2. Deep Tissue Massage
The easiest way to describe a deep tissue massage is it's a Swedish one that has more pressure applied to it. The people who request this type of treatment are usually those who experience chronic muscle pain, a sports injury or some type of strain, along with the anxiety that this type of discomfort might produce. Slower strokes with more intense finger pressure are what typically happens.
This is usually a full body massage that lasts between 60-90 minutes. Oh, and although deep tissue is noticeably more intense, you shouldn't feel additional soreness once your therapist is done (not if they really know what they are doing, anyway).
3. Cupping
While there honestly isn't a ton of scientific data to support cupping, it's still a fan favorite for many; one that has been used for centuries. It's all about a massage therapist locating a super tight or sore part of your body, placing a suction cup over it and letting it remain there until blood rushes to the area in order to ultimately bring about relief. There are basically three different types of cupping techniques to choose from. Dry cupping is when cups that are between 1"-3" inches in diameter are placed onto your body (it's the most common method). Fire cupping is when a glass cup is lit on fire and then placed on top of your body. Then there is wet cupping; it's all about a professional literally making an incision into your skin in order to significantly increase blood circulation and remove toxins from your system (apparently, it's quite popular in Islamic culture).
Those who are looking for a temporary pain management method will usually sign up for cupping. Just keep in mind that the process typically takes around an hour. Also, it's very common for bruises to be left behind after your session (they usually go away after a couple of days).
4. Reflexology
Personally, I'm a HUGE fan of reflexology. It's when pressure is applied to pressure points like your hands, feet and ears. When I've had it done on my feet, it was crazy how I could feel certain parts of my body respond to the massage itself (because there are literally several thousand nerve endings per each sole; many that are connected to various organs, etc.). Reflexology is dope because it can do everything from relax your nerves and reduce headaches to increase blood circulation and give you an energy boost.
A reflexology session usually lasts between 30-60 minutes and is a great alternative if you'd prefer to not have a full-on massage experience like many of these other options provide.
5. Acupuncture
A massage method that is directly attributed to ancient Chinese medicine is acupuncture. While it doesn't have a ton of scientific data to back it up, many professionals and clients alike are very fond of this particular approach. It's all about inserting very thin needles into various meridian points of your body in order to manage stress and relieve pain. It's very common for individuals with recurring headaches, dental pain, respiratory disorders, back pain and even menstrual cramps to use this approach.
If the mere thought of a needle freaks you out, an alternative method is acupressure, which is basically acupuncture without the use of needles. As far as how long this kind of session is, it's really based on how many needles your massage therapist feels like you need in order for you to receive maximum results.
6. Myofascial
The technical term for this particular kind of massage is myofascial release. It's when the fibrous connective tissues, which are right underneath your skin (and right above your muscle), are massaged in order to break the tissue down so that you feel less tight. Oftentimes this type of massage incorporates instruments like a foam roller, tennis ball and/or a body bar.
Myofascial release normally lasts around 30 minutes and can either be performed by a massage therapist or you can even try it on your own at home. For tips on how to do it yourself, click here.
7. Shiatsu Massage
Knowledge is power, right? When I went to look up the origin of the word, apparently, it means "finger pressure" in the Japanese language. While this is the kind of massage that can include your entire body, oftentimes a massage therapist will put a lot of focus, especially, on your hands, fingers and thumbs in order to increase endorphins (so that pain levels will decrease), lower your blood pressure and heart rate, help to balance out your hormones, improve your coordination and give you more energy.
Many people with chronic pain, sinus issues or sleep disorders enjoy this particular method. A shiatsu massage lasts for between 30-90 minutes, depending on how severe your issues may be.
8. Biodynamic Massage
Biodynamic is a type of massage that is rooted in pseudoscience (something that isn't based on specific scientific standards). What's so cool about this particular method is it's all about getting your digestive system back on track; since your digestive tract helps your system to process food easily and effectively, and also better "digest" emotional stressors too, that's why this approach can be so beneficial.
If you sign up for a biodynamic massage, your massage therapist will apply certain touch techniques that will affect everything from your skin and fascia to your bones and muscles. This massage usually requires somewhere around an hour of your time.
9. Prenatal Massage
Any woman who's been pregnant before knows that the body goes through some significant transitions throughout all three trimesters. Sometimes the muscle soreness and joint pain that comes as the result of your body continually making room for your little one to grow is enough to keep you up all hours of the night and super irritated all throughout the day. One way to provide some immediate relief is getting a prenatal massage. It's the kind of massage that's specifically designed for pregnant women and typically consists of mild pressure being applied to a woman's back, hips and legs.
A prenatal massage usually happens while you're on your side or face down on a massage table that has a hole to accommodate your baby bump. As far as how long this one lasts, it's somewhere between 45-60 minutes.
10. Aromatherapy Massage
If you're feeling particularly stressed out on the emotional tip, you should definitely consider booking an aromatherapy massage appointment. The reason why I say that is because it's all about relieving anxiety, improving your mood and reducing depression-related symptoms. Based on what you feel is emotionally bothering you, your massage therapist will incorporate an essential oil that will help to bring about relief. Basically, you will not only have some of the oil (or oils) applied to your skin, but there will be a diffuser for you to inhale the scent(s) from while you're getting your massage too.
Aromatherapy massages usually take somewhere around an hour and are full body ones. Definitely something to keep in mind, if you're super shy about totally disrobing.
11. Amatsu Massage
Amatsu massage is a method that is birthed out of the Japanese culture. During this massage, your therapist will use small body range motions in order to loosen up tightened tendons, joints, ligaments or muscles. A principle of this particular massage is when structure, emotion, energy, nutrition and environment are brought back into balance, your body will become less tense.
A thorough amatsu massage needs about an hour. It's also one of the least invasive methods of massage therapy.
12. Couples Massage
The only thing that makes partaking of one of these massages even better is if you invite your boo to join you. Couple massages are dope because they're a quality time date that provides a truly great way to reconnect with your partner. Plus, since massages are an ultimate de-stressor, by mutually having your cortisol (your natural stress hormone) levels drop, your libido is able to increase which can make for a really good night, once you both get off of the table. #wink
So, if you've got a significant other, do you and your sex life a favor and book a massage appointment for the both of you to enjoy together. It's a thoughtful date that is as sexy as it is healthy for you both. Treat yourself. ASAP.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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There Really Is Such A Thing As 'Spring Cleaning Your Spirituality,' Sis
When you think about the fact that the spring season symbolizes things like newness, rebirth, and starting over, from a spiritual standpoint, it makes all of the sense in the world that religious-based fasts, including Lent and Ramadan, would transpire during this season as well. As I recently reflected on this fact, it’s what actually got me to really thinking about the term “spring cleaning” and what it represents — the thorough cleaning or cleansing of a particular area.
You know, sometimes, when I go back and look at some of the articles that I’ve penned for the platform before, I truly can’t believe how fast time flies. Take the piece, “What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?” — now, how in the world did it turn five this year? I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around it. And although the piece does address some key points — like the fact that there is somewhat of a difference between being spiritual and being religious (although more people should read James 1:27 in order to understand how the Bible defines religion to be…it just might surprise them) — I want to explore a deeper angle of our spirituality, along with what we should require of it.
Today, let’s look at spirituality from the perspective of “the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things,” “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…” (Murray and Zentner) and, perhaps, more than anything else, “the relationship between ourselves and something larger."
You know, it’s a woman by the name of Dr. Maya Spencer who once said, “Spirituality means knowing that our lives have significance in a context beyond a mundane everyday existence at the level of biological needs that drive selfishness and aggression. It means knowing that we are a significant part of a purposeful unfolding of Life in our universe.” Indeed.
And while keeping that in mind, if this is a time of your life when you would like to “clean or cleanse your spirituality” by doing things like removing negative energy, getting rid of old or counterproductive patterns and/or by stepping into an elevated space as far as your human spirit and soul are concerned, you might be pleasantly surprised by how easy and even fun that can be for you to do.
To effectively clean/cleanse your spirit, start by asking — and answering — the following five spirituality-focused questions:
What Inspires You?
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Remember how, in the intro, I shared that one definition of spirituality is “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…”? That is actually where I am pulling a lot of these questions from because, the reality is that focusing on things that inspire you, intentionally pondering your purpose, and also by encouraging yourself to become an overall better human being — these things definitely tie into your spiritual side whether you are “traditionally religious” or not.
And so, when it comes to cleansing your spirituality in this season, a great question to start off with is what actually inspires you? And listen, believe it or not, inspire is a pretty layered word. I say that because, while one definition is “to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.),” another is “to communicate or suggest by a divine or supernatural influence,” while synonyms of the word include excite, affect, cause, motivate, provoke, and instill. This means that if you truly want to say or do things from a place of inspiration, you need to produce things from a divine or supernatural space (interesting, right?).
The reason why it’s so important to “spring clean” in this department is, oftentimes you can be motivated or provoked by things that aren’t really all that good, healthy and/or beneficial for you (social media fast, anyone?) — things that take your mind off of what’s divine — sacred, godly and extremely good. As a result, you find yourself producing out of a mind and heart space that is compromised when it comes to your core standards, values, and even goals.
So yes, in the effort to cleanse your spirituality, begin by really reflecting on what you claim inspires you — then revisit what the word actually means…just to be sure that you are being honest with yourself about whether something or one is truly inspiring you…or not.
What Amplifies Your Purpose?
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Purpose is always something that is going to be a pretty big deal to me. That’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “What Does It Mean To Have 'Purposeful Relationships'?,” “Please Stop Picking People Who Don't 'Fit' Your Purpose,” “The Conversation You Need To Have With Yourself Before The New Year Begins,” “How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'” and “5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose.” It’s because really, if you’re not focused, most of all, on the reason why you exist in the first place, nothing else is going to be fully, truly, and authentically fulfilling for you.
So, when it comes to this part of your spirituality, first take some time to make sure that you know what your purpose is. If you have no clue and you’re ready to find out, as a wise person once said, wisdom comes in the questions, even more than the answers, and Rockwood Leadership Institute has a whopping 132 questions that you can ask yourself in order to get to the root of what your purpose is here. On the flip side, if you do know and you’re just not feeling completely satisfied in what you are currently doing as it relates to executing your purpose, it sounds to me like you are going through a bit of a “purpose growth spurt,” and yes, there is such a thing.
For instance, I am very clear on what my purpose in life is — I am here to teach what I study and research about when it comes to the topics of covenant marriage, sex, and the biblical Sabbath. All are covenant principles that have been unbelievably compromised in a thousand different ways. However, as I evolve, transform, and mature, my understanding of what I know does as well, and that “upgrades” how I approach and share my purpose with others. You see, purpose is never supposed to be stagnant…it is ever-shifting as far as how you accomplish things within it.
And that’s why, spiritually, it’s so important that you make sure that you are AMPLIFYING YOUR PURPOSE. To amplify is “to make larger, greater, or stronger; enlarge; extend.” If you are not putting forth the effort to do just this, there is some spiritual cleansing that must be done because, if there is one thing about a person’s purpose, it’s the fact that it’s HUGE which means that there will always be plenty to do within it until their time on this earth ends.
What Makes You Love Better…and More?
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I believe I’ve mentioned before that a show that I loathe with every fiber of my being (and there really is so much to choose from these days — SMDH) is TV One’s For My Man. Not only is it a program that discourages full-level accountability, but it irks me to no end every time that it says that a woman did some heinous crime in the name of love. According to Scripture, GOD IS LOVE (I John 4:8&16). Not only that, but the Love Chapter in Scripture has a very healthy, sane, and mature take on how we should love and require love in return (I’m going to share two translations of I Corinthians 13:4-8 for expanded context):
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies.” (I Corinthians 13 — Message)
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” (I Corinthians 13 — AMPC)
Now, think about what you see displayed on television when it comes to relationships. Based on these verses, is it love? Is it really? Ponder all of the relationship content that’s on social media. Does it sound like this kind of love? Does it really? The times when you’ve done things that you know were purely rooted in selfishness, impatience, and/or refusing to do for others what you would want them to do for you — how can any of that be loving? If you do believe in God and you also believe that you were made in his image (Genesis 1:26-28), this means that a part of your own spiritual DNA is love. This also means that if you know that your love has been tainted by material or physical things (which, by definition, is the opposite of spirituality), it’s time to make some real adjustments.
That said, take some time, think about the people and things that you profess to love, and ask yourself if it’s really love or is it lust or entitlement or immaturity. Then ask yourself what you can do to love those individuals and items better.
Remember, since you are made from Love, it’s important that you love like you are.
How Effective Are You When It Comes to Compassion?
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Personally, I think that whenever someone does something reckless and then follows up with the Bible says not to judge, I find it to be a supreme level of gaslighting. The context of that verse is saying that in the way that you judge, you will be judged and that you should make sure that you are right in the area that you are judging before you judge someone else (Matthew 7:1-5); however, be clear that judgment is a form of accountability which is why there are also verses like “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24 — NKJV) that exist — not to mention the fact that discernment literally means “keen judgment” and the Good Book supremely promotes that: “Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; rebuke one who has understanding, and hewill discern knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:25 — NKJV)
And that’s why, any time the topic of “don’t judge” comes up, I am known for saying something along the lines of, “PUH-LEEZE. If I say ‘You’re cute,’ I just judged you. Humans don’t have a problem with judgment; they don’t like criticism or accountability.” And gee, is that unfortunate because it’s hard to grow without both of those things. However, the key that comes with being on the giving end of criticism or holding someone accountable is applying a quote by author Anne McCaffrey: “Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
This world has a lot of…stuff going on, stuff that needs to be addressed and stuff that needs compassion applied while it is. By definition, compassion is about having concern for others, especially if what you see them going through, they have either told you or you can discern is tied to some level of internal suffering. And that’s why, in the spirit of spiritual cleansing, something else to ask is if you are holding others and even yourself accountable while operating from a place of genuine care and concern or is your ego just wanting to elevate itself or prove that it’s right?
You know, we’re living in a time when, more and more, people are frowning on humility which is unfortunate because a definite quality that comes with being a compassionate person is absolutely that — “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4 — NKJV)
It really is almost impossible to be profoundly spiritual without being a compassionate person. Is this an area that needs some “cleaning up”? If so, there is no time like the present.
What Encourages You to Be Wiser and Full of More Truth?
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Musician Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens.” Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Confucius once said, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest." Thomas Jefferson once said, “The wisest men know their weakness.” Author Gift Gugu Mona once said, “A woman of peace is a wise woman who understands that peace is more powerful than trying to prove a point.”
And what does it mean to be wise?
People who can regulate their emotions are wise. People who actually learn from their experiences (and the experiences of others, so that they don’t have to experience everything) are wise. People who know how to tame their ego are wise. People who are flexible/adaptable, non-materialistic, are self-aware, can be relied upon for great perspectives and insights, and are teachable are wise. The self-disciplined are wise. The patient are wise. The non-entitled are wise. Those who prioritize well are wise.
Those who do not live above their means (across the board), they are also wise. And there is no way that you can be wise without being willing to be completely honest, yes truthful with yourself about where you could stand to gain more wisdom and what must be done — and sometimes sacrificed — in order to get it.
And so, as I close this piece out, when it comes to spring cleaning your spirituality, ask yourself who and what encourages and enables you to become a wiser individual — AND who and what hinders that from transpiring. Then be honest with yourself about what is challenging you for the better and what, frankly, is only dumbing you down. Indeed, in order to live out the full potential of your spirituality, wisdom must come into play. However, it’s important to keep in mind that, for wisdom to truly flourish, it is a conscious choice — a daily decision.
And it will never come so long as you are making up excuses, justifying poor behavior (check out “Accountability Time: Let's Stop Calling It A 'Mistake' When It Was A 'Choice'”) or lying to yourself about what needs to be done. Taking those approaches to life is literally the opposite of being wise.
A French priest by the name of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” I can only imagine how much the quality of our lives would improve if we took that in on a very serious level.
The good news is you can choose to do it — right here and right now.
See yourself as a spiritual being.
Clean/cleanse whatever hinders that reality.
And watch how you begin to soar, supernaturally, by design, because of it, sis.
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