Not An Ordinary Cramp: Here's What Your Menstrual Cramps Might Be Trying To Tell You
My last menstrual cramps were so severe that I thought that I was giving birth to the son of Satan.
Fortunately, I'm no different than any other woman who experiences menstrual cramps, and I do what I can to minimize the pain of what feels like giving birth to a demon. But what happens when those cramps are more severe than normal? Do you go get the Holy Oil and a Bible, or do you cry on the phone to your OB/GYN while you're doubled over in pain?
Sure, you can do both, but if your menstrual cycle has you turning green, outgrowing your clothes, and turning into “The Hulk", you should probably call your OB/GYN. Or if you have to be confined to your bed, or a wheelchair, and can't get out of it for several days, your body may be telling you that you have some issues that you need to take care of.
Here are four wellness issues specific to women that starts with cramping, but could turn out to be a much more serious issue.
1. PELVIC INFLAMMATORY DISEASE (PID).
By "fix it" I mean the pain. Oh the pain!
According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, PID is an infection caused by bacteria in your vagina or cervix. When that bacteria gets in your womb, fallopian tubes, or ovaries, they can cause an infection, which equals horrible pain. Most of the time, the bacteria is a result of a sexually transmitted infection, like gonorrhea or chlamydia. This is why you should never have unprotected sex.
Symptoms: Fever or chills, increased foul smelling or abnormal vaginal discharge, dull pain or tenderness in the lower abdomen (number one sign), nausea, vomiting, pain with peeing and pain during sex.
2. FIBROIDS
These are muscular tumors that grow on the walls of your uterus. Fibroids are usually non-
cancerous, and they can be as small as an apple seed, or as large as a grapefruit. Age, obesity, ethnic groups (black women are more likely to develop fibroids than white women), and family history are all factors that can increase a woman's chances of getting fibroids.
Symptoms: heavy bleeding, prolonged periods (less than 7days) pelvic pressure or pain or bloating sensation in your abdomen, pelvis or lower back), pain during sex and frequent urination.
3. ENDOMETRIOSIS
This is a disorder most common among women in their 30s and 40s. Bustle explains it best:
Endometriosis is a disorder wherein the lining of your uterus decides to take itself out on an adventure to see the wide world of your innards and grows outside your uterus. Since it maintains its identity as endometrial tissue, it thickens and bleeds with your menstrual cycle — but the blood has no place to go! The result? Irritated tissue that develops into scar tissue or adhesions. Basically, this road trippin' tissue wreaks havoc on your pelvic area, which can cause severe pain. It can also mess with your fertility by obstructing the egg's path — around one-third of women with endometriosis have trouble getting pregnant.
Symptoms: PAIN with everything... with bowel movements, with menstral cramps, during and after sex, pain in your lower back, excessive bleeding and difficulty getting pregnant (infertility - yikes!)
Copper IUD
4. COPPER IUD
This thing is a non-permanent and non-hormonal birth control medicine that lasts for 10 years. The IUD is placed inside the woman's uterus (by a licensed doctor, may I add). It works by releasing copper, which immobilizes sperm and prevents egg implantation.
There has been serious issues associated with the use of copper IUDs in women. Dr. Gangemi says that some problems associated with the copper IUD include hormonal problems, or the copper oxidizing and causing damage to the cervix and uterus.
According to Dr. Oz contributor Nurse Alice Benjamin, the copper IUD is not for everyone, and not all IUDs are made of copper. She says,
ParaGard is the only cooper IUD approved in the United States. Either way, women with the following [well woman issues] should steer clear to avoid any complications from cooper IUDs:
- If you have uterine abnormalities that interfere with the placement or retention of an IUD
- a pelvic infection, such as pelvic inflammatory disease
- Uterine or cervical cancer
- If you have unexplained vaginal bleeding
- If you are allergic to any component of cooper IUDs
- If you have a disorder that causes too much copper to accumulate in your liver, brain and other vital organs (Wilson's disease)
- Are at high risk of a sexually transmitted infection, and won't use condoms
- Or if you have had previous problems with an IUD
Symptoms: Severe bleeding, severe pain in your belly, smelly discharge, you have signs of pregnancy, and you just ate a kitten. Okay, maybe you didn't eat a kitten, but if you have the other symptoms, that's bad.
If you don't have any of these symptoms, then congratulations! You're a normal woman. Here are some self care tips that could possibly help you feel better if your cramps are cramping your style.
1. EXERCISE
I know it sounds like a curse word right now, but exercise truly helps ease menstrual cramps. Exercise releases beta-endorphins, that can immensely ease period cramps. Try some deep squats, aerobic exercise, and yoga to help ease menstrual pain.
Nurse Alice says,
The better shape you're in and the more physically active you are, the less likely you are to suffer from chronic aches and pains, including menstrual cramps. Trying yoga positions that target the pelvis and lumbar region, where period pain is the worst, have been known to be helpful.
2. CHANGE YOUR DIET
Some women swear that when they switch to a high-fiber, low-fat diet, their cramps feel better. Try eating more nuts, whole grains, veggies, and dark fruits when your cramps are starting to cramp your style.
3. WATER
Speaking from personal experience (and remember, my cramps are pretty terrible), drinking lots of water helps my cramps tremendously. Even when you're not on your menstrual cycle, you should be drinking, at least a half of a gallon of water per day. But I noticed that my cramps feel better when I drink closer to a gallon of water a day. Trust me, it works!
4. SEX
Many women think sex during their cycle is as gross as seeing Ben Carson tongue kissing his wife on TV. But turns out, it's not that gross (sex on your cycle, not the Ben Carson thing).
According to UC Santa Barbara,
Additionally, many women who engage in sex during menstruation report that their menstruation seems to end sooner than if they had not had sexual intercourse. This is plausibe, as the muscle spasms of orgasm may allow menstrual flow to come out quicker than usual. Furthermore, the hormones that your body releases during sex (such as oxytocin) help relieve the menstrual cramps, depression, and irritability associated with premenstrual syndrome (PMS).
Please note that there is no guarantee that you won't get pregnant if you get your swerve on during your moon, so there's that.
But either way, I'm sure that if you have sex on your cycle, you're not going to knock anything loose. So grab your towel, your partner, or a toy if you're not cool with doing it with your lover, and get to getting.
5. MEDICINE AND A HOT WATER BOTTLE
After reading this, some women are still going to go back to using Motrin and a hot water bottle. It's been a great remedy to cure unruly menstrual cramps for ages, and it works very well. If you're not feeling the other options, there's nothing wrong with taking it old school, and drugging yourself to a little bit of pain relief.
Most doctors don't object to women using over-the-counter medicines to help with period pain, like Motrin or Advil. But it's better to consult your doctor or pharmacist about your symptoms before you go cherry picking medicine in the drug store. Just saying.
Nurse Alice says that a hot water bottle helps to east cramps because the heat opens the blood vessels and improves blood flow, so the pain dissipates. She also says,
Take a hot bath, or place a heating pad or hot water bottle on your lower belly. Those stick-on heat packs that you can find on drugstore shelves can work, too, if you don't have time to sit at home.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
It's never okay to ignore the pain away if the above remedies does nothing to help you. If you feel that your cramps are more severe than normal, Nurse Alice says that it could be warning signs of a more serious health issue. Call your healthcare provider if:
- Your pain lasts longer than you're accustomed to
- You have a fever
- You start vomiting or feel nauseated.
- You're bleeding heavy than normal.
- You think you could be pregnant.
Nurse Alice Benjamin is a nationally board certified and award winning Cardiac Clinical Nurse Specialist with over a decade of experience in cardiovascular health. She is the author of “Curb Your Cravings: 31 Foods to Fool Your Appetite," a Senior Fellow at the Center of Health, Media and Policy at Hunter College in New York ,and recently joined the ShareCare family of top national media health experts. Some of her recent television appearances include The Dr. Oz Show, The Doctors, Dr Drew, HLN News Now, FOX News, TruTV In Session, America Live with Megyn Kelly, Dr. Steve Show and DC Breakdown. Visit her website at nursealicebenjamin.com.
We have less than 40 days left in 2024, and while I'm not one to rush goals just because it's the end of the year, it can be fun to challenge yourself to think about ways you'll close out this year big.
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Jamie Foxx Revealed What Had Happened With His Health Last Year
Jamie Foxx is a national treasure. We were deeply worried last year when we learned about his health issues.
The Oscar-winning actor revealed in his new Netflix special Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was that he suffered a brain bleed and subsequent stroke during his medical emergency last year.
In April 2023, Jamie Foxx's daughter, Corinne Foxx, announced her father's hospitalization due to a "medical complication," which Foxx later referred to as a "mystery illness." The situation was serious, with family traveling to be with him in Atlanta. Jamie's Netflix special, released December 10, reveals that his illness last year led to hospitalization and a 20-day memory loss from April to May 2023.
“It is a mystery. We still don’t know exactly what happened to me,” Jamie shared. “April 11, I was having a bad headache and I asked my boy for an aspirin. And I realized quickly that when you’re in a medical emergency, your boys don’t know what the f**k to do.” Before he could get aspirin he went out, he said, “I don’t remember 20 days.”
The Ray star affirms that his healing journey would be nothing without his family, including his daughters, Corinne Foxx and Anelise Bishop. Jamie also expressed gratitude to his sister Deidra Dixon, whom he described as "4 foot 11 of nothing but pure love," for driving him around Atlanta in search of a hospital. There, a doctor informed them that he would not survive without surgery.
Deidra knelt outside the operating room, praying while her brother was taken inside for surgery. Jamie recounts:
"Your life doesn't flash before your face. It's kind of oddly peaceful. I say this all the time, I saw the tunnel, I didn't see the light."
Following a medical procedure, Jamie's physicians cautioned that although a full recovery was possible, the next year would be extremely challenging. Foxx's family shielded him from public view due to his dizziness and concerns that his condition might be exploited for online mockery because we know the innanet is not always a safe space.
The comedian recalled his disbelief upon waking up in a wheelchair after a stroke, unable to walk. He remembered saying, “Jamie Foxx don’t get strokes,” and being shocked when his friend confirmed he had indeed suffered one.
The Office of Minority Health reports that African Americans are 50% more likely to have a stroke than white adults. Black men are 70% more likely to die from a stroke than non-Hispanic white men, and African American women are twice as likely to have a stroke as non-Hispanic white women.
In Chicago, during his rehabilitation, he was advised to abandon his "arrogant" attitude if he desired a complete recovery. By July 2023, Jamie seemed to be in a better space to share more about the situation as he posted an Instagram video. The update addressed the speculation about what led to his hospitalization, although he did not reveal details of what happened.
He captioned the video, “I know a lot of people were waiting or wanting to hear updates but to be honest with you, I just didn’t want you to see me like that, man. I want you to see me laughing, having a good time, partying, cracking a joke, doing a movie, television show. I didn’t want you to see me with tubes running out of me and trying to figure out if I was gonna make it through.”
Because he knows we are nosey (ha!) in August 2023, Jamie provided another update on his health sharing, “You’re looking at a man who is thankful… finally startin’ to feel like myself…” he wrote at the time. “It’s been an unexpected dark journey… but I can see the light.”
The special is truly one-of-a-kind as he showcases his multi-dimensional talents. While he was fighting for his life and learning to walk again, he used impersonations to keep the funny because for Jamie, “If I can stay funny, I can stay alive.” He paid homage to Black legends like Wesley Snipes as Nino Brown from New Jack City and Denzel in Training Day, Dave Chapelle and Jay Z and Mike Tyson through his impersonations reminding us that he is truly an icon.
Me at random times while watching:
“I see why it’s nominated for a Golden Globe because it’s beautiful storytelling.”
*cries more than once*
“This man is an icon.”
“It’s his love letter to Atlanta from Ray to T.I.”
“Oh, it’s church?”
*Seeing him on the piano was so nostalgic*
Jamie: “Get you a Black woman, you’ll stay live.”
Me: “I know that’s RIGHT!”
Ultimately, we are so glad to have one of our kings of comedy back and it is a great reminder to take care of ourselves.
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