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Ladies, This Is How To Keep Your Cervix Super Healthy
You know something that, personally, I don’t think deserves enough love and respect? Our cervix. It’s that small body part (approximately one inch long and wide) that is down at the neck (base) of our uterus. Its purpose? It helps to carry the sperm to our uterus. Not only that, but during our period, it’s where the menstrual blood flows out. Also, during labor, something known as a cervical mucus plug is released so that our cervix is able to dilate so that we’re able to give birth.
Yeah, as you can see, the cervix is something that’s pretty special. And that’s exactly why I wanted to take a few moments to share with you 10 tips that can help to keep yours in great shape. Let’s get into it.
1. Get Pap Smears
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If you’ve ever wondered, a pap smear is literally designed to test the cells of your cervix. Although, back when I was a late teen and in my early 20s, it was recommended that women get a pap smear on an annual basis, no matter what, many medical professionals are now saying that women between the ages of 21-65 only need them every three years (after having three pap tests in a row that come back fine).
An exception is if you have a family history of cervical cancer or if you participate in risky sexual behavior (like unprotected sex, especially if you’re not in an exclusive relationship). In those instances, your physician may recommend that you get tested every year. It’s also a good idea to keep in mind that if you’ve had a full hysterectomy, there is no need for a pap because you no longer have a cervix.
2. Learn As Much As You Can About the HPV Vaccine
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I’m pretty sure that you know at least a few details about HPV. Just to be sure, though, those three letters are the “nickname” for the human papillomavirus (HPV), which reportedly has 100 different “strains” (some reports even go as high as 150). Some of them are warts; some turn into different forms of cancer. While it should go on the record that (currently) most HPV infections do not turn into cancer, because certain genital warts can lead to cancer of the uterus and/or cervix, and since there are close to 14,000 new cases of cervical cancer a year, that’s why many medical professionals recommend that young children receive the HPV vaccine (although it should also go on record that you don’t have to be a virgin to get vaccinated and people who’ve never had sexual intercourse can also get HPV because it can be transmitted through the mouth and fingers). Honestly, this point right here could be its own article, so my two cents would be to study up on HPV and HPV vaccines as much as possible.
3. Eat Foods That Are High in Vitamin C
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Is your diet high in vitamin C? If not, keeping your cervix in good condition is one reason to consider adding more C into your system. That’s right. Studies show that vitamin C is a nutrient that lowers the risk of bladder, breast, and endometrial cancer, as well as cervical tumors. Foods that are high in vitamin C include citrus fruit, potatoes, tomatoes, berries, cruciferous vegetables, kiwi, and cantaloupe. You can also take a vitamin C supplement if you’d prefer to go that route.
4. Also, Eat Foods That Reduce Bodily Inflammation
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Personally, I find it to be both sad and accurate that one article defined the Westernized diet to be one that is full of “high in saturated and trans fats, added sugars, and sodium.” SMDH. A huge problem with all of this, as it specifically relates to what we’re discussing today, is that kind of stuff can lead to chronic inflammation, which ultimately ends up weakening your immune system while making it easier for the HPV infections to cause problems in your body. That’s why it’s smart to eat foods that lower the risk of inflammation, ones like salmon, cherries, dark leafy greens, olive oil, and almonds.
5. Avoid Whole Milk
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I think I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had whole milk. That’s because, while growing up, sweet acidophilus low-fat milk was all I saw in the fridge — and now? Oat milk is my jam. However, if whole milk is your personal fave, I want to encourage you to do some (additional) reading and research on it because, according to science, whole milk consumption can elevate your risk of certain cancers, including breast, bladder, lung, stomach and yes, cancer of the cervix. One reason is because dairy can help to trigger inflammation in your body, and as we’ve just discussed, inflammation can wreak all kinds of havoc if you’re not careful.
6. Drink Grapefruit Juice or Pineapple Juice
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Cervical mucus deserves its own article, too, because it plays such a critical role in fertility. For now, what I’ll say is if you’re trying to get pregnant in the near future, do some research on holistic approaches to keeping your cervical mucus (the fluid that both sustains and carries the sperm to your uterus so that you can conceive) healthy. One way that many health professionals who practice things like Chinese medicine recommend is that you drink grapefruit and/or pineapple juice on a regular basis. Long story short, it helps to keep your mucus in optimal condition for the sperm to thrive in.
7. Be Careful with Cervical Stimulation
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In the quest to experience as many different kinds of orgasms as possible, you might have heard of (or even tried) a “cervical orgasm”; it’s all about stimulating your cervix in order to receive a different type of pleasurable climax. And while it’s not about penetrating your cervix (that is pretty much impossible to do), you need to be proactively cautious while doing it. Why? Because if what’s stimulating your cervix has fluid that’s full of an STI/STD, it could still be transmitted to you.
8. Use Condoms
If you want to avoid getting pregnant or contracting an STI/STD, condoms are still the most effective way to do both. Now, I will say that you have to use them flawlessly for them to be 98 percent reliable as far as not getting pregnant goes, it’s around 90 percent effective at preventing HIV transmission and 85 percent effective when used “typically” (which means with a bit of room for error like it not being the best fit or it’s put on too late or taken off too early). Still, even though condoms aren’t perfect, they are a helluva lot better at keeping you from getting HPV than not using them, so — unless you’re in a mutually exclusive relationship where both of you test every 6-12 months, you need to wrap it up…each and every time that you “engage.”
9. Yes, Body Count Matters Here
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Speaking of wrapping up, while I know that it will probably be until the end of time that folks will debate if body counts actually matter or not when it comes to keeping your cervix healthy, the answer is…it does. There’s a good amount of medical intel out here that supports the fact that “the greater the list, the greater the risk.” That’s because the more people you’ve been with, the higher the possibility that you’ve been exposed to HPV. So, just to be on the safe side, choose to not see sex as merely “recreational”; choose your partners with caution. If for no other reason than your cervix needs you to.
10. Don’t Smoke
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If you were to Google any article on how to keep your cervix healthy, I’m willing to bet some pretty good money that it’s going to tell you not to smoke. One reason is because smoking is known to suppress your immune system, which can make you more susceptible to HPV. Plus, women who smoke are two times more likely to be diagnosed with cervical cancer than those who don’t. And what about weed? Well, studies are still ongoing about that. What I will say is smoke in the lungs is…smoke in the lungs, and anything that can lead to inflammation is ultimately problematic on some level. So, just puff, puff, pass in moderation, and stay up on new developments on the topic— for your cervix’s sake, aight? Cool.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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