I know some people who absolutely hate to grocery shop. Maybe it's because I'm single with no kids (which means that I have less to get) yet I'm on the opposite side of the coin. Because I like to cook often and grocery shopping is how I get a lot of random thinking accomplished (because I'm away from my computer), I really like it. And over the past couple of years, I've become more intentional about getting what my body, as a woman, needs.
That's what we're gonna get into in just a sec. If money and/or time is tight and you're curious about what you should put on your own grocery list, so that your own system will be satisfied, here are 15 foods that really do a woman's body a lot of good.
1. Fresh (in Season) Fruit
Something that I definitely keep in my fridge at all times is fresh fruit. Right now, I've got some watermelon and mango slices up in there.
Anyway, fruit is good for you because it's loaded with antioxidants, it's full of water to keep us hydrated and many of them are low in calories too. As a bonus, fruit is low in fat and sodium and contains no cholesterol.
As far as some of the healthiest fruits to consume — apples, berries (in season), avocados, pineapples, bananas, citrus fruit and pomegranates top the list.
2. Yogurt
These days, I'm actually a huge fan of kefir which is a lot like drinkable yogurt that has a ton more probiotics in it. And that's actually why yogurt makes this list. It's full of probiotics which helps to keep your gut (check out "80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.") and vaginal health on track. Yogurt is also great because it's full of calcium, vitamins B and D and phosphorus (which helps your muscles to contract, gives you a boost of energy and is needed to properly detox your kidneys too). Plus, yogurt has a ton of protein in it; good to know if you're a vegan or vegetarian.
3. 100 Percent Pure Tart Cherry Juice
Are you someone who has trouble sleeping? That's just one of the many reasons why you might wanna pour yourself a glass of some pure tart cherry juice. It's the kind of juice that also has your back because it has fiber, protein, vitamins A and C, manganese (which reduces inflammation) and potassium (which reduces your blood pressure and water retention in your system). If you're someone who works out a lot, this is the kind of juice that can naturally help to reduce muscle soreness. If arthritis is an issue for you, pure tart cherry juice has been known to decrease related symptoms. It's also the kind of juice that can help you to lose weight and boost your immunity. Just make sure it's pure because sugar tends to affect its potency.
4. Fresh Herbs
There are some people in my life who have their own herb gardens. What's really cool is there are actually several that you can grow in mason jars from the comfort and convenience of being inside of your own home (you can check out a list of some of those here). The reason why it's a good idea to add some fresh basil, rosemary, cilantro, cinnamon, garlic, oregano or mint (for starters) to your dishes is because fresh herbs can help to lower your blood pressure and cholesterol levels, regulate your blood sugar and they even contain properties to keep cancer cells at bay. Plus, they really do take the taste of foods to another level — so much more than herbs that have been processed and put into a bottle do.
5. Sweet Potatoes
Sweet potatoes are considered to be a perfect food. What that essentially means is you could eat one of those and get a ton of what your body needs in just one meal. That makes sense too, considering the fact that they're a vegetable that is high in protein, fiber, vitamins A, B6 and C as well as manganese. One of the sweetest ways to stay regular, fight cancer, support your brain function, keep your immune system up and even keep your eyes in good shape is to eat a baked potato or snack on some homemade sweet potato fries.
6. Portobello Mushrooms
If you check out the article, "10 Foods That Make Eating Less Meat...Easier" on our platform, something that you'll notice is portobello mushrooms topped the list because they've got such a meaty texture that makes them an awesome meat substitute. On the health benefits tip, these particular mushrooms are awesome because they're a good source of antioxidants, vitamins B and D, selenium (which can help to prevent cancer) and copper (which can help to prevent premature greying). Also, if you're looking to add some non-inflammatory foods to your diet, these kinds of mushrooms can check that box off too.
7. 100 Percent Pure Cranberry Juice
When it comes to this, I'm not talking about Ocean Spray. That stuff has more sugar in it than soda does. Matter of fact, I won't lie to you. The real deal kind of cranberry juice (the kind that contains zero sugar) is sour as all get out. Still, it's really good for your health overall because it also has a ton of antioxidants, along with properties that can reduce your chances of getting diabetes, protect your urinary tract, fight off free radicals and certain viruses and bacteria. Also, cranberry juice even has the ability to decrease the amount of plaque that tries to linger on your teeth, which makes it a pretty dope drink.
8. Turmeric
I've got some friends who seem to be eating traditional Indian food whenever I talk to them on the phone. On the turmeric tip (because a lot of Indian dishes use it for curry), that's a good thing because it's a spice that contains super potent medicinal, anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. As a direct result, turmeric is known to help to prevent heart disease, give your brain a boost and even fight symptoms that are directly related to depression. Just make sure that you purchase the kind that has a high amount of curcumin in it. That's the compound that helps to make turmeric super powerful. One quick thing, though — if your blood is naturally thin, you might want to run consuming it by your doctor first. I used to take turmeric as a daily supplement and when I tell you that it caused my period to be heavy as hell? That is absolutely no exaggeration.
9. Dark Leafy Greens
There really is no way around the fact that if you want to stay in good shape, health-wise, you need some sort of dark leafy green in your kitchen stash. They are full of fiber. They are low in calories. And they've got so many nutrients in them, that you can get a lot of the vitamins and minerals that you need for the day with just one salad. Plus, they are directly attributed to lowering the risk of diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. Personally, I'm a fresh spinach kind of gal myself; however, if you're curious about what some of the (other) healthy greens are, that would include kale, collards, romaine lettuce, arugula, Swiss chard, endive and turnip greens.
10. Tortillas
Something that I really like are fish tacos. So much, in fact that, I've been making them more often at home (mostly because I don't eat catfish or tilapia which is oftentimes served at restaurants).
Anyway, did you realize that tortillas are good for you too? They are high in fiber, calcium and folic acid. They are a low-calorie food. They are a great energy source as well. Although I like the texture of flour tortillas more, if you want the ones that are more health beneficial, corn tortillas are gonna be your best bet because they are high in whole grains and lower in gluten (unlike flour tortillas).
Either way, if Mexican dishes are a favorite of yours, now you've got a solid reason to make more of them from scratch.
11. Infused Water
You can read articles on our site like "10 Overlooked Signs That You're Dehydrated " and "Who Knew That Some Of Us Are Actually Drinking Water Wrong?" to get that we're big fans of water consumption over this way. Still, if you're like me and you don't drink as much of it as you probably should because it's what I call "wet air" (boring as all get out), turn a regular pitcher of water into infused water instead. By adding some of your favorite fruits and/or veggies and/or herbs to it, not only will you get a bit of flavor with every glass, you'll also get some of the nutrients from those foods into your system. Infused water is great on so many levels. Try it.
12. Salmon
Earlier this year, I wrote an article for the site about how salmon can help to grow your hair out (check out "Let's Gain An Inch A Month Of Hair Growth 'Til December, Shall We?"). That's no exaggeration either because it has omega-3 fatty acids that our hair and skin need in order to remain moisturized, healthy and strong. As a solid source of protein that's filled with practically every B vitamin that you can think of, as well as antioxidants and potassium too, salmon is hailed for being the kind of food that fights inflammation, protects brain health and helps with weight control. Aside from personal preference or allergies, there really isn't one good reason to not eat it more often.
13. Quinoa
As far as perfect foods go, quinoa is a whole grain (that's technically a seed) that tops the list. It's got lots of fiber, protein, amino acids, vitamins B and E, calcium, zinc (which is great for skin, nails and hair), magnesium (a nutrient that your nerves and muscles need), iron — and that's really the tip of the iceberg! Some cool things about this gluten-free food is it helps to regulate your blood sugar levels and keep your metabolism balanced. A great food, all the way around, when it comes to maintaining our overall health and well-being.
14. Tomatoes
Tomatoes are a fruit that is a great source of vitamins A, C, K as well as calcium and potassium. The lycopene in it is a natural chemical that helps to reduce acne and keep our pores clear. The calcium in them can help to strengthen your bones. If you happen to be a smoker, the coumaric acid and chlorogenic acid in this fruit work together to protect your system from carcinogen-related damage. Tomatoes also have a reputation for playing a direct role in breaking down the beginning signs of kidney stones (who knew?).
15. Hemp Seeds
If you're looking for a seed to add to your dietary routine, definitely try hemp seeds. For starters, they top the list of being an incredible source of protein. Also, they've got Vitamin E, zinc, iron, calcium, phosphorus, potassium and so many other nutrients in them. If you consume them on a consistent basis, the fatty acids in hemp seeds can slow down aging signs in your skin. Not only that but hemp seeds have a reputation for aiding in digestion, reducing your risk of heart disease and even decreasing the symptoms that are related to PMS and menopause. It really doesn't get any better than that!
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Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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Take orgasms, for example. Since I’m well aware of the fact that vaginal orgasms (especially) can be a real challenge for a lot of women, I’m constantly on the hunt for what can help to “bridge the gap” in that arena.
And that’s why I decided, this time, to forego science articles, vlogs, and online data and instead ask some women for myself about some of the things that they do to make having an orgasm, improving their orgasms, and their sexual experience overall something that is so much better for themselves.
So, grab yourself a light aphrodisiac snack (check out “Eat Your Way To Better Sex With Aphrodisiacs”) and dig into what 15 Black women told me gets them off, in a mighty big way, just about every time.
*As always, middle names have been used so that everyone can feel comfortable giving up the goods…umm, so to speak*
1. Rochelle. 37. Married for 11 Years.
Giphy“While y’all be out here talking about some kegels, what I’m into is my man giving me a hip massage. The key is to make sure you use some sort of massage oil that has menthol in it. Between the tingling of the menthol and him rubbing on your hips, not only is it really relaxing, but the ‘minty feel’ opens your body up so that once intercourse begins, you’re less tense, and that makes having an orgasm so much easier to do.”
2. Karmyn. 27. Single.
“Kiss him the way you want him to penetrate you. Literally, use your tongue as if it were a penis and move it in his mouth like you want him to move inside of you. The kissing will turn you both on, and if he follows your instructions, you should be able to orgasm with no problem."
"I learned this trick when I asked an ex of mine to explain what p — sy feels like, and he said the best way to explain it is what a tongue feels like inside of [the] mouth. He should’ve never told me that, boy! It’s been hell in these streets ever since!”
3. LaChelle. 43. In a Serious Relationship for Two Years.
“If you’re self-conscious about your body, get some lingerie that has cutouts in them. There is a lot of sexy stuff out here that can have you covering up the parts you’re not comfortable with while still giving him access to the ‘main events.’ My man loves one of my lace one-piece teddies that has no crotch, and it’s easier for me to orgasm because I’m not overthinking the entire time.”
4. Trinitee. 27. Married for One Year.
Giphy“We’ve only been married a year, but we weren’t exactly abstinent when we were just dating. So, we like to find ways to keep it fresh. One thing that we do is go ‘hotel hopping’ once a month. We find a new hotel and meet each other there. We try and do different hours of the day and come with a surprise in hand. Like he might bring a new sex toy, and I might have on some lingerie that he’s never seen before. Then we text each other beforehand to talk about the best part of the sex we had from the last hotel we visited. The anticipation is foreplay.”
5. Wren. 33. In a Serious Relationship for Six Years.
“What works for me is doing afterplay as foreplay. What I mean by that is, taking a nap naked with my boo before any sexual activity is one of my favorite things. Being up under him, especially if he’s spooning me, feels really good, sleeping together is very intimate, and — there’s something about being awakened outta my sleep with kisses on my neck and back that almost makes me want to cum right then and there.”
6. Bevalyn. 40. Living with Her Partner for Four Years.
“Get on your back and have him kneel in front of you."
"Put your legs over his, and when he penetrates you, ask him to use one of his hands to apply pressure on your pubic bone — the area right above your clitoris."
"As he’s gently pushing down while he’s inside of you…if you don’t cum from that, I don’t know what else to tell you, sis.”
7. Sophia. 38. In a Serious Relationship for Two Years.
Giphy“Shower sex can be a bit much, and I don’t trust a used jacuzzi. What we do is fill up our own inflatable pool and get it on inside of it. It’s perfect during the summer, late at night, because we have a tall fence. Just make sure that you bring some silicone lube to keep things slippery down there. An inflatable pool has been one of the best sex investments that we have ever made!”
8. Averie. 35. Single.
“Wanna know if your man is as into giving you head as he claims? Right after he goes down on you, ask him to immediately penetrate you. If he’s hard, he’s totally into it, and if he catches you soon enough, you’ll be in the perfect position to have a multiple orgasm. Don’t say I didn’t give you the ultimate cheat code.”
9. Victoria. 40. Married for 11 Years.
“Shellie, you actually got me on the cinnamon kick when I read one of your articles that talked about applying cinnamon oil to my clit before oral sex. Since [then], I’ve been doing some research, and it says that cinnamon is also an aphrodisiac because it stimulates blood flow. So, I’ll also drink cinnamon tea throughout the day or share a cinnamon cocktail with my husband. Works like a charm.”
Shellie here: She’s right. I did say that. LOL. You can read for yourself: “Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex.”
10. Daniela. 28. Engaged for Six Months.
Giphy“Ever been fingered backward? What I mean is, get on all fours and have him insert a finger or two from behind with his palm being flat. That way, the space in between your anus and your vagina will get a massage while your vagina gets penetrated. There’s nothing quite like it.”
11. Saven. 32. Single.
“Ice. Have him rub a little bit of ice on your clitoris and then immediately warm it up with his tongue. There is something about the drastic changes in temperature that gets me every time. And I mean, EVERY time.”
12. Ferynn. 30. Living with Her Partner for Five Years.
“I don’t know about you, but my man loves to put my legs up in the air. It was never really my favorite move until I read that behind the knees are an unsung erogenous zone. Whoever found that out was onto something because if he rubs back there while talking real crazy to me in a deep voice? Here I come…HERE I COME!”
13. Vivienne. 30. Engaged for One Year.
Giphy“Never underestimate the power of a foot massage. Just make sure that he applies pressure in the middle of your foot where your arch is. It instantly makes me wet. I asked my doctor why and he said that it’s probably because foot massages tend to increase blood flow, including where the vagina is. Either way, it’s always a good night if I get a foot massage first.”
14. Michelle. 24. Single.
“I’m a doula who owns my own exercise ball…for sex. When I first started showing couples the positions that women can get into to make labor easier, it got me to thinking that some of those positions could work for sex too — and they do."
"Something about the movement of the ball takes the pressure off of the back for both men and women. It also makes getting into certain positions a lot easier so that you can enjoy sex for a lot longer.”
15. Carol. 31. Married for Five Years.
“My husband and I have bets. If he wants me to make some of his favorite meals five days in a row, he’s gotta make me cum five times in a row. If I want him to get me something that’s not in our budget, I’ve gotta attempt one of his sex fantasies. We’re both competitive as hell, so it works for us because honestly, even when we ‘lose’…we win!”
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Listen, I don’t know about y’all, but this was definitely worth my while. After all, ain’t nothin’ like some Black women who can speak from very-personal-and-up-close experience about what makes them happy — especially if it can increase the odds of bringing some sexual satisfaction your way too.
Speaking of, if you want to share the wealth, drop some of your own orgasm-related tips in the comment section. The more of us who can woosah on the regular, the better, chile. Straight up. #havefun #lotsofit
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