

Life is full of ironies, boy. I don't know about y'all but, back when I was growing up, when it came to my hair, the rule in the house was, "Shellie, when you can pay to get your hair done, you can dye it." Shoot, that didn't happen until I was almost in college, so I used to sneak and do stuff like spray my hair with a mixture of hydrogen peroxide and lemon juice in order to make it lighter. Chile, fast forward to now and who knew that my body would end up producing enough peroxide to lighten my hair all on its own? Especially now that jet black is my preferred hair hue.
What? You didn't know? The reason why our hair turns grey is because, as we age, our hair follicles produce less melanin. Not only that, but a build-up of hydrogen peroxide naturally occurs in our hair shaft; this basically means that our hair begins to bleach from the inside out. For many of us, this begins at around 30, with grey hairs increasing approximately 10-20 percent every decade or so.
While grey hair is a part of life (and something that a lot of people pay good money at hair salons to get), I totally understand if you're not yet ready to fully embrace your silver locks yet. At the same time, with all of the news out here about how chemicals are wreaking pure havoc on our health, I would recommend that you consider putting the hair dye down and testing out some natural ways to stop premature greying in its tracks. You might be pleasantly surprised by just how well the following 10 remedies tend to work.
1. Be More Gentle with Your Hair Overall
The weaker your hair is, the more prone it will be to grey prematurely. Some things that can do a real number on your cuticles include sun damage, improperly detangling your locks, applying too much heat, using sulfate shampoos, and not deep conditioning your hair on a consistent basis. Speaking of conditioning your tresses, word on the street is that, by applying coconut oil to your hair and scalp on your wash day and leaving it on for an hour, it will nourish your hair follicles and slow down the greying process. Hey, it's worth a shot.
2. Eat More Copper
A mineral that our body needs that isn't discussed nearly enough is copper. When we don't have enough of it in our system, that can lead to high blood pressure and cholesterol levels, a drop in white blood cells, less collagen and elastin production, and more free radicals moving throughout your system. Another indication of copper deficiency is premature greying due to low serum blood copper concentration.
Because copper supplements can sometimes have an adverse effect on birth control and ibuprofen, it's best to get more copper into your system by eating foods that are high in it. Some of those include whole grains, dark leafy greens, cashews, black pepper, dried fruits, potatoes and dark chocolate.
3. Apply Some Onion Juice
One of the reasons why onions are so good for our skin and hair is because it's high in sulfur. If you apply a mixture of onion juice, milk and nutmeg, it will create a face wash that can lead to even and glowing skin. If you apply onion juice to your hair, it can treat dandruff, reduce hair loss, promote hair growth and yes, slow down the greying process; sometimes, even reverse it. All you need to do is apply onion juice to your freshly washed hair, massage it onto your scalp and let it sit for 1-2 hours and then rinse thoroughly, deep condition and style as usual. If the smell of onions drives you up the wall, feel free to add your favorite essential oil to the juice. After doing this for a couple of months, it's possible that your hair will return back to its original color. (You can get an easy DIY onion juice hair recipe here.)
4. Take a Fo-Ti Supplement Too
If you've never heard of the supplement Fo-Ti, don't feel bad; a lot of people haven't. It's basically another name for "Chinese climbing knotweed" and its benefits are pretty impressive. Some practitioners use it in order to aid in treating headaches, acne, high blood pressure, diabetes, muscle soreness, erectile dysfunction and infertility. But what it's got a really great reputation for is combating premature greying by turning grey hair back to its original hue (if you take 1000 mg two times per day). This supplement can be somewhat potent, so make sure to run it by your doctor before taking it, just so that you can avoid any unpleasant side effects that it might bring.
5. Take a B-Complex Vitamin
If you don't have enough Vitamin B running through your veins, this is another thing that could trigger grey hair strands before their time. By adding B-complex to your daily vitamin intake regimen, you can help to stop greying in its tracks. Vitamin B3 is able to nourish your hair follicles, vitamins B6 and B12 will help to restore your tresses' natural hair color, and pantothenic acid (which is a part of the B vitamin family) can postpone the onset of grey hair growth.
6. Snack on a Few Almonds
Remember how I said that grey hair happens, in part, due to the production of hydrogen peroxide building up in our hair shaft? Well, something in our body known as enzyme catalase catalyzes the decomposition of hydrogen peroxide by turning it into water and oxygen. A food that is really rich in enzyme catalase is almonds. Some others that have a good amount of it too include cabbage, kale, sweet potatoes, garlic and broccoli.
7. Load Up on Antioxidants
Something else that happens when we age is our antioxidant levels begin to drop. Whenever this happens, our white blood cells can experience free radical damage due to the overproduction of hydrogen peroxide; this includes the peroxide that is produced in our hair follicles. One way to counteract this is to consume more antioxidants. You can do this by eating citrus fruit, berries and kale, taking vitamin C and E supplements, and consuming the ashwagandha herb. One study revealed that when a group of middle-aged men took ashwagandha for a year, they noticed an increase of melanin production in their hair. That's pretty impressive, if you ask me.
8. Try Some Blackstrap Molasses
I'm borderline anemic. Something that my mother would give me while growing up was blackstrap molasses. Putting a couple of teaspoons in a cup of hot water serves as a pretty good drink that is loaded with iron. Some other benefits of molasses include they help to relieve menstrual cramps, strengthen bones, they contain anti-inflammatory properties and stabilize your nervous system, plus they also fight against fatigue.
Another perk to consuming blackstrap molasses is, if you take the kind that is made from sugarcane juice, they also have a way of keeping premature greying from setting in. Eating a tablespoon every other day should do the trick.
9. Consume More Protein
Since our hair is mostly made up of the protein known as keratin, it actually makes a lot of sense that a lack of protein in our system could also result in premature greying. When you are protein deficient, your hair follicles are unable to get the nutrients that it needs in order to produce the amount of melanin that gives your tresses its natural color. So yeah, amping up your protein intake can also be a surefire remedy for ridding yourself of premature greying. Foods that contain high amounts of protein include eggs, cottage cheese, pumpkin seeds, oats, almonds, tuna, poultry, asparagus, beans and salmon. If you'd prefer to go the supplement route, whey powder is a great way to go.
10. Calm Down
If a senior in your life has ever said that someone in their world was the cause of their grey hair, believe it or not, there is actually some truth to that. When you're stressed out, not only can that shorten the lifespan of your hair's growth cycle, it can also trigger the kind of body inflammation that turns off pigment-producing cells. Wow. As if you needed one more reason to remove all of the stress from your life, right? Now you know, for sure, that it could bring grey hairs to your head well before your time. The good news is this is just one more motivating reason to de-stress as soon as possible. Make sure you do that, sis. Your hair's health—and hue—depend on it!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Things Your Natural Hair Needs In The Winter
This Is Why Your Natural Hair Ain't Growin'
Uncommon (But Totally Natural) Things That Are Great For Hair Growth
Matthew A. Cherry Fully Deserves His Oscar Nod For Showing Us Mad 'Hair Love'
Feature image by Shutterstock
- Premature grey hair? 10 natural remedies to fight it out - fashion and ... ›
- The Science Behind Gray Hair and How to Hack it Naturally ›
- 8 remedies for premature greying hair - Evewoman ›
- Premature Graying of Hair: Review with Updates ›
- Home Remedies For Grey Hair | Premature Grey Hair | Treatment ... ›
- Home Remedies for Gray Hair: 20+ Natural Methods ›
- 8 Home Remedies to Darken Grey Hair | BeBEAUTIFUL ›
- Tips to stop premature greying of hair | Femina.in ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
Be Careful. Those Casual Friendships Can Be Red Flags Too.
A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to someone vent about an area of frustration that they couldn’t seem to get to the root of — why they keep getting taken advantage of by certain individuals. When you’ve been a life coach for as long as I have (and you were a journalist before that), you learn how to ask certain questions that can cause people to consider things that they may never have before.
So, when I asked her, “What is the common thread with all of those folks? And sit still for two minutes before answering,” when she finally heard her own self speak, her eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open: “They’re all people who I’m not really sure what they are in my life.”
Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
There’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
A couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
I’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock