I don't know about y'all, but whenever Golden Globes and Oscar nominations come out, more times than not, I'm rolling my eyes. As a self-professed movie buff who fully enjoys the art of acting and filmmaking, sometimes I am utterly baffled by who gets a nod and, more importantly, who doesn't. But in order to stay focused on what this article is really about, I'll avoid the rabbit hole of getting into the politics of award shows and how, so very often, many artists get overlooked. Instead, let me first say "big ups" to Ms. Cynthia Erivo's Best Actress nomination for her portrayal of Harriet Tubman in Harriet, along with co-writing and performing the song "Stand Up" in the film (something that could gain her the much coveted EGOT title if she wins). That's dope. Truly. And then let me get to what made me smile, big time, as I scanned the nominations list. Matthew A. Cherry.
Just 48 hours ago, this is what he tweeted.
Then yesterday...this.
(Fun fact: Issa Rae plays Zuri's mom in the film. Ah, the circle of life!) Man, you would think this guy was my little brother (he's only 38), first cousin or somebody I sat at the lunch table with in grade school every day, if you went by how excited I was to hear the news of his Oscar nod! Honestly, I think a part of the reason is because, back when I used to run a friend of mine's business connect Twitter, I followed Matthew and engaged with him some. When it comes to pop culture and slick jabs, he's hilarious. He also comments back quite a bit. Although I'm getting ahead of myself, I've got some proof of that. A little over a month ago, my godchildren's mom wrote him about how much his now Oscar-nominated animated short film Hair Love resonated with her. And, true to fashion, he replied.
There's a Scripture that says, "By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life." (Proverbs 22:4—NKJV) Matthew's apparent display of humility alone is enough to make this nomination make total sense. But there are a few other reasons why I am absolutely thrilled to publicly acknowledge what he and his film have accomplished.
'Hair Love' Is Beyond Sweet—and Very Necessary
If, for some reason, you've never seen Hair Love before, take out a moment to check it out right now (right here). Even though it's an animated short, I still won't give the storyline away. What I will say is that, when I first checked it out, one of the first things that came to mind was the cute animated character on Sesame Street who used to say, on repeat, "A loaf of bread…a container of milk…and a stick of butter" while running an errand for her mother. Why does that little girl still stand out to me? She had a beautiful deep chocolate skin tone. She also had a natural. And she loved herself. Fast forward to all these years later and that's what immediately came to mind when I first looked at Zuri—also chocolate, also rockin' a natural and also loving herself. Not to mention her having two parents who loved her and each other too (yes!).
Being that Hair Love is animated, it's something that all ages can immediately connect with; that was a brilliant move on Matthew's part. Yet there are so many subtle messages that I really appreciate too.
Again, without giving too much away—there's a little girl who struggles to style her hair but never once complains about its amazing texture. There's a father who adores his daughter and has a natural style too. And, there's a mom who is attentive enough to know that both dad and daughter need help—not because natural hair is "difficult" but because mastering any art form requires knowledge, technique and patience.
Hair Love reminds us all that Black love comes in so many forms and is to be recognized, honored and celebrated. By us, most of all. That is what will make this film timeless. A classic well beyond this year and its well-deserved Oscar praise.
Matthew Is a True Creative. That Deserves Nothing but Respect.
The cool thing about filmmakers, writers and directors is, oftentimes, you "see" them without even really knowing it. If you've ever watched the movie The Last Fall (Lance Gross, Nicole Beharie), Matthew both wrote and directed that (if you haven't, it's pretty good, by the way). Michelle Williams's music video "Believe in Me" and "Say Yes" (featuring Beyoncé and Kelly Rowland), he directed those too. If Chloe X Halle's song "Warrior" is your jam, he also directed that video (you can check out more of what he's accomplished, thus far, via his website). But I really started checkin' for him right when he was ready to put Hair Love out into the Universe.
I remember back when Matthew was raising money for his animated short film. It was a Kickstarter campaign a few years ago. One of the things that stood out to me in his campaign's presentation, was this oh-so-very-relevant point that he wrote for it—"This story was born out of seeing a lack of representation in mainstream animated projects, and also wanting to promote hair love amongst young men and women of color. It is our hope that this project will inspire."
Inspire. That's the signature trait of a true creative; they are able to inspire others.
When someone is able to use their own creativity and ingenuity to influence and invigorate others to ultimately do the same for someone else, that's when you know, without a doubt, that they are operating in their gifts and soaring in their God-given lane.
Last I checked, Hair Love has gotten a whopping close-to-11 million views on YouTube alone. But again, if you haven't yet checked it out, devote seven minutes or so of your life. I'd be shocked if it didn't make you smile, reflect and, if like my godchildren's mom, you can personally relate, even shed a tear or two. I'd be floored if it didn't straight up inspire you.
Inspire you to either start or finish a project.
Inspire you to seek out someone who's willing to invest in your dream.
Inspire you to attempt something—even if you don't have all of the answers…or resources.
Inspire you to trust that your idea, your talent and your passion are enough.
Inspire you to take a risk, keeping in mind that, like Matthew has just proven…risks oftentimes come with great rewards.
Matthew A. Cherry, I've also noticed that you're an NFL alum. It really is amazing how paths can shift but all for the better, isn't it? Black king, please know that every member of the xoTribe salutes you today and couldn't be more proud. There is a profound respect that we have for you showin' us all some "hair love". Embrace all that is coming. You deserve it.
Now excuse me while I go and rub a little Chebe butter on my hair, pick it out and grin. Just like I'm sure little Zuri—and her parents—are doing right at this very moment. In Matthew's honor.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
This Is Why Your Natural Hair Ain't Growin'
10 Natural Hair Products To Add To Your Routine
One But Not Equal: Natural Hair Is Not The Same
Wake-Up Call: Here's How To Make Your Dreams A Reality
Feature image by Kickstarter
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock