

Although a lot of these types of articles tend to creep around a week before the turn of a new year, I've always been the type of person who found resolutions to be a bit strange. It's not that I'm not an advocate for goal-setting and, to a large extent, even risk-taking—but who said that you had to wait until January 1? More than that, what makes so many people think that there is something supernatural that happens at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Day? Making the decision to change your life, right here and right now, is just as powerful, significant and life-altering as waiting until next year. More so in fact, because, by moving now, you're choosing not to make excuses or procrastinate.
And girl, why would you want to with stats floating around claiming things like only eight percent of people ever achieve their goals or 98 percent of individuals leave this earth without ever fulfilling their dreams? Geeze. Talk about a seriously gut-wrenching wake-up call, right? The good news is, whether or not you become a part of these statistics, that is totally up to you. If you truly desire to make your dreams a reality, there is no time like the present—and by that, I mean right at this very moment—to stop talking about what you want and actually start putting the steps in place to make your goals, dreams and desires happen. You ready?
1. Go on a “Negativity Fast”
OK. Before doing anything else, make sure that you put yourself on a negativity fast. Yeah, I know this isn't typically the kind of thing that you see whenever you read articles on this topic; however, because negative energy can lead to things like emotional instability, constant complaining, being super self-critical, having a fear of networking or all sorts of health issues—between your unhappy co-workers, what you see on the news, all of the constant drama on social media and whoever's in your life that's negative, you need to make sure that you are approaching the sacredness of your dreams from a loving, whole and positive space. You also need to make sure that you're not looking at them with a jaded perspective.
So yes, before doing anything else, whether it's for a weekend, a week or a solid 30 days, take some time out to detox from all things negative. If that means not eating with your co-workers, so be it. If it requires a social media fast, do it. If you need to temporarily get ghost on a friend or family member, don't hesitate. You need some time to get quiet and unlearn some of the negative habits that may have been taking a hold of you, perhaps without you even realizing it.
I promise you, once you take a break from what's draining you in this area, you will feel totally recharged and ready to take on the other steps that I'm about to share.
2. Know What Your Dream Is
Not too long ago, I was having a "random" (although I personally believe there is no such thing) conversation with two attractive young men. We were all in a mall and we'd never met before. But the natural journalist in me tends to ask a lot of questions so, before long, we all were sitting in the food court, chopping it up. As these early-twenty-something fellas were talking about some of their ridiculous patterns, I said to one of them, "You know you're doing all of this because you are bored with your life, right? You need to put that energy into your purpose." He replied with something that I think causes a lot of us to have unhealthy life habits. "I don't even know what my purpose is. That is a part of the problem." He's right. That is a part of the problem. And you know what? A lot of other people are walking around here miserable because, while they know that there is more to life than what they are currently doing, they are irritated and restless because they're not able to articulate what their dreams actually are. So, they do dumb ish to fill up time and mind space.
Saying "I just want to be happy" isn't good enough. Who doesn't? In order to achieve what you truly want, you really need to be more specific. Whatever it is that you desire to do or accomplish, write it down. Not just on a paper towel or the notepad on your smartphone either. Honor your dreams enough to purchase a journal that is totally devoted to them. The more you respect them, the more they will respect you. Remember, thoughts are seeds and, as a writer by the name of Eric Micha'el Leventhal once said, "Thoughts don't become things; thoughts ARE things."
Oh, and when it comes to initially jotting the dreams down, try and be as concise as possible. I know from personal experience that, the less words you use, the clearer you'll be about what you want and how to go about achieving it.
3. Get Your Personal Life in Order
I'm a quotes girl. Unapologetically so. Recently, while checking outThe Roommates Podcast, I must admit that a quote that was shared, right out the gate, was so "BAM!" to me that I didn't even finish listening to the episode yet. What the brotha said was, "You've got to be the CEO of your life before you can ever be the CEO of a company." I mean and I'm sayin'. Have you ever had a hard time getting a good night's rest because your bedroom is a mess? Or found it impossible to save money because you keep staying in debt thanks (but no thanks) to that credit card of yours?
It's going to be very difficult to make your dreams a reality if you've got a lot of personal upheaval going on. Now, I'm not saying that you should start on your dreams until everything is perfect (that will probably never happen). But what I am saying is if you need a clean house in order to think straight, clean it. If you're in a counterproductive relationship, even if you don't have the courage to end it (yet), at least take a break from it. You're probably going to need some coins in order to get some of what you're trying to do off of the ground, so the new shoes or that girls' trip is going to have to wait. Dreams like order. The more you have, the easier it will be to embrace yours.
4. Start to Visualize Your Dreams
If you're a TED Talk kind of person, make the time to watch fitness CEO Ashanti Johnson's message entitled "The Power Of Visualization". In her 15-minute presentation, she talks about how, back in 2009, during a recession, the word "fitness" kept coming to her mind. So much in fact that she quit her job in the pursuit of starting her own fitness company with nothing but $400. I'll let you watch the video so that you can see how it all played out for her (spoil alert—quite well). But the bottom line is visualization is so important. It's about more than just writing things down; it's about being able to bring full mental images of your dreams to your mind, whenever you need to.
Some people visualize with vision boards. Some use create boxes. Others literally daydream (which has scientific benefits, by the way). Whatever route you decide to take, just make sure that you set aside some time, on a consistent basis, to visualize what you desire. The more you can bring it to your remembrance, the realer it will become to you.
5. Protect Your “Dream Pregnancy”
I'm a doula. So, I speak in pregnancy analogies and metaphors quite a bit. Whenever someone tells me that they have a dream, goal or idea, a piece of advice that I oftentimes give them is, "Make sure to 'protect your pregnancy'. Telling the wrong people will have you out here aborting or miscarrying your 'creative baby'."
Think about it. It's not uncommon for a woman to not announce that she is pregnant until she is well into her second trimester. Even then, while the general public may have overall knowledge of what's going on, only the few that she trusts know the day-to-day details. And with good reason. The last things that she needs are pressure, stress and a ton of unsolicited opinions and advice.
Same goes for the dreams that you are carrying. When I was in doula training, I took some Hypnobabies classes. Something we learned about is called "the bubble of peace". Basically, it's learning the art of how to tune out the noise around you so that you and your baby can remain peace-filled. Pregnancies, of any kind, are precious and fragile. There's no need to be out here announcing everything or taking in all of the stuff people have to say. It is perfectly fine to be silent until "the baby" arrives; to only let a few into what is going on in the developmental stages. This brings me to my next point.
6. Get a “Dream Midwife” and a “Dream Doula”
If you are pregnant with dreams, you need someone to support you in your pregnancy and someone to help you birth them. Basically, you need a strong support person (doula) and a mentor (midwife). Both of these individuals need to be respectful of your dreams, totally envy-free, committed to assisting you along the way and prepared for good and bad days that come while your dreams are growing and while you are sometimes uncomfortable during the process. They also need to be kind, patient and able to discern when you need advice and when you just need a listening ear.
Some people are afraid to go through the process of conquering their dreams because they feel like no one truly believes in them and what they are trying to accomplish. Or, the people who claimed to be there in the beginning, they end up falling off. But when you've got a true dream midwife and dream doula by your side, it always makes the "birthing process" so much easier. They can offer insight, tips and comfort that you need to get you through all that comes with carrying your dreams and manifesting them.
7. Invest in Your Dreams on a Daily Basis
It's kind of unfortunate that a lot of people only think of investing as it directly relates to finances. If you ever check out the definitions of the word, you'll see that it is far more multifaceted than that. One definition of invest is "to use (money), as in accumulating something", but two others are "to use, give, or devote (time, talent, etc.), as for a purpose or to achieve something" and "to furnish with power, authority, rank, etc." You know what this means, right? If you've been telling yourself that the reason why you're not able to make your dreams come true is because you don't enough money, that's more of an excuse than anything else. There are other ways to invest. Networking is investing. Research is investing. "Baby steps" are investing. Making sacrifices are investing. Turning off your notifications and television so that you can put new ideas together are investing.
Although some days will require bigger investments than others, when it comes to making your dreams a reality, it is absolutely critical that you do some sort of investing on a daily basis; that you put power into your talents and time so that you are able to push your dreams along further today than they were yesterday.
8. But Make Sure to Take a Day Off Too
Earlier this year, I wrote an article entitled "How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'". Pretty much, it was a shout out to all of the people who are out here in their purpose, making things happen, but still have moments when they are worn all the way out. As for me, I've been a traditional Sabbath observer all of my life. This means that Friday sunset thru Saturday sunset is my non-negotiable time to go totally off of the grid. I'm telling you, to have a full 24-hour timeframe to do nothing but rest is one of life's greatest gifts.
You're not doing your mind, your health or your dreams a lick of good if you are constantly burning candles at both ends because all you do is "go, go, go" all of the time. While you're out here making things happen, make sure that you put chilling out one day a week on your list too. You won't do your goals and desires any true or lasting good if all you're doing is running on fumes seven days a week.
9. Do Your Best. All of the Time.
Wanna know another reason why some people's dreams never come true? It's because they half-ass their way through the process. Their business plan is sloppy. The story pitch is full of typos. Their demo sounds like they recorded it in a tunnel. Their website layout is dated. They make appointments and then break them or schedule auditions and show up late for them. No one who is already out here living their dreams owes you their time, connects or resources. Not only that, but why should someone else help you with your dreams if you don't esteem them enough by presenting them properly—and consistently?
I can't tell you how many times I've done something and, in my mind I'm like, "I already know that I'm going above and beyond; that all of this 'extra' isn't even necessary", only to get an opportunity or promotion out of the blue. When you give your best, you're giving your highest quality and what truly stands out. If you do that constantly, the right people will take notice. Maybe not immediately but eventually. Right when you need them to the most.
10. Be LOVINGLY Patient with Your Dreams (with Yourself Too)
If I've said it once, I've said it a billion times before. Whenever I go to a wedding and the bride and groom are all googly-eyed as they say, "Love is patient and I'll be patient with you", I'm usually thinking, "I bet they have no clue what they are saying." To be patient isn't just to wait. It is also "bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like". Love does this. Love does this. Not only does it "do" this; true love is this.
Committed relationships aren't the only things that require patience. Dreams need patience. You need patience. While you're out here in the process of making your dreams a reality, know that what's worth having truly is worth fighting for and the more you're able to master patience, the more you'll be able to endure until you reach your goals.
My last bit of advice? Don't just like your dreams. Choose to be all the way in love with them. It will make being patient a whole lot easier to do. It will make celebrating them once they manifest so much richer for you too.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
6 Books To Read When Discovering Your Purpose
The Most Common Mistakes That Keep Us From Reaching Business Goals
Exit Strategy: 5 Steps To Quit Your Job The Right Way
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Relationship Timeline
Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe are one of our favorite Hollywood couples. We can't get over their adorable moments together on the red carpet and on social media. While they're both from St. Louis, they didn't meet until college, which they both attended Stanford. And the rest is as they say, history. Read below as we dive into their decades-long relationship.
Mid to Late1990s: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Meet
Sterling and Ryan met as freshmen at Stanford University. "We were in the same dorm freshman year...that's kind of how we met," Ryan said in an interview with ET. "I was mesmerized," she said after watching him audition for the school play, Joe Turner's Come and Gone. Sterling revealed that The First Wives Club star was dating someone else, so they started off as friends.
"She got cast in the play as well, and we would ride bikes to rehearsal, and we would just talk. We found out that we were both from St. Louis. We didn't know that we were both from St. Louis, like, our parents went to rival high schools. We were born in the same hospital. Like, we were friends," he said.
The first few years of their relationship involved many breakups and makeups. However, they ended up graduating and attended NYU's Tisch Grad Acting Program together.
Early 2000s: Sterling K. Brown Tells Ryan Michelle Bathe She's 'The Love Of My Life'
The Paradise star opened up about telling Ryan that she was the one. "We broke up for three and a half years before we came back into each other's lives," he said. "She was on the treadmill working out, and I had this epiphany, 'I have to go tell this woman she's the love of my life.'"
"I go to her apartment, I tell her, and she's like, 'Well, I'm working out right now,' and I was like, 'No, I can see that—I'll just talk to you while you're on the treadmill,' and she's like, 'Well, I feel like going outside. So I'm gonna go on a run,'" he continued. "So I'm like dressed [in a suit], and she starts running through Koreatown, and I start running along with her. Brother had to work, but it was well worthwhile."
2006: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Tie The Knot
The St. Louis natives eloped in 2006 and a year later held a larger ceremony. According to the bride, the best part of their wedding was the food. "The best thing about it was the food," she told ET.
"Can I just say, sometimes you go to weddings, and you get the winner-winner chicken dinner and you're like, 'I pay. OK, it's fine.' But I wanted people to remember their experience -- their culinary experience. So I was happy about that. The food was good."
2011: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their First Child
In 2011, Sterling and The Endgame actress welcomed their first son, Andrew. In a 2017 tweet, Sterling revealed they had a home birth. "An unexpected home delivery is something my wife and I went through ourselves with our first born, so this was round 2 for me!" he wrote while referring to a scene involving his character Randall, in This Is Us.
2012: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Appear On-screen Together
A year later, the couple acted together on the Lifetime series Army Wives.
2015: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their Second Child
In 2015, Sterling and Ryan welcomed another son, Amaré. Sterling shared an Instagram post about their latest addition to the family. "1st post. 2nd child. All good! #imoninstagram," the Atlas star wrote.
2016: Ryan Michelle Bathe Joins Sterling K. Brown On 'This Is Us'
Ryan guest appears on her hubby's show, This Is Us.
Sterling K. Brown Reveals Ryan Michelle Bathe's Mother Didn't Like Him At First
During their sit-down interview for the Black Love series, Sterling revealed that Ryan's mother wasn't a fan of him, which caused friction in their relationship.
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Explain How Jennifer Lopez Once Broke Them Up
While visiting The Jennifer Hudson Show, Sterling and Ryan share their hilarious Jennifer Lopez break-up story. "We had just gone out, we were living in New York City, we were in grad school, and we had gone to see a Broadway play and we came back to my place and my roommate was playing the ["Love Don't Cost A Thing"] video on MTV," Sterling said.
"Now I'm a fan of Jennifer Lopez's dancing, and I was watching the video and I knew my young...21, 22-year-old girlfriend was looking at me watch the video. And I know I'm not supposed to have a reaction. In trying NOT to have a reaction, what had happened was, my eyes began to water."
Ryan jumped in, "Otherwise known as, TEARS! I turn around and my boyfriend is weeping, tears like big fat [tears]. And I'm looking and she's just a shakin' and a shimming, and he's just crying. I said 'Oh no, I got to go.' "
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Launch Their Podcast, We Don't Always Agree
The couple launched their podcast, We Don't Always Agree, where they disclose more intimate details about their love story.
Feature image by Chelsea Lauren/Shutterstock