The True Meaning Behind The Glow Up Has Nothing To Do With Beauty
While Rihanna's Trophy Wife had us all glowing to perfection this season, the real glow up has nothing to do with external beauty at all. Society perpetuates this false idea of the physical glow up by promoting only the tangible aspects of our progression. But the real "Glow Up" is much more complex. While we are constantly reminded of our physical growth by old photos or unsolicited facebook reminders, our physical appearance isn't the only thing that experiences growth. The caterpillar to butterfly process we all undergo in our everyday lives goes far beyond our aesthetics, and deeper into who we are internally. That internal progression is called the "Glow Up".
My younger years were full of many mistakes, confusion, and non-meaningful relationships, but thank God for growth, and thank God for Glow.
If it's one thing I've noticed throughout the years, it's everyone always witnesses the glitz and glamour of the glow. They see the success story but they don't always see the hard work that goes into it. It shatters some friendships, distances you from familiar things, and pushes you to your full potential. And let's be real, that can be a scary thing.
As I accepted the growth and direction of my life, I noticed that a lot of things I was once familiar with had to change. I had to put aside old ways and, along with it, I had to let go of some people. I didn't let go of them because I cared for them any less, but I knew that sometimes old behaviors and old "friends" didn't coincide with the direction my life was going in. They were the past and I was trying to move forward so, I had a choice to make.
I chose to glow so everything that no longer served me had to go.
As painful as it was, I understood that I had to close certain doors and let go of certain people in order to walk into my destiny. So I did.
I would later appreciate all those painful decisions and clearly see how necessary they all were in creating the life I wanted to lead. Letting go made me a better woman and put me in a position to create healthier meaningful relationships.
I no longer sought out things or people that didn't serve a purpose and my decision-making only focused on growth.
The most important part of glowing up to me is the growth. The "Glow Up" is about maturing into an adult, making the right decisions, and becoming the best versions of ourselves. While the growth of your physical appearance is a great bonus, your mentality shifts tremendously and your views on life change with it. You notice the people you choose to engage with are not the same as before and your interests have developed to align with higher standards. As you glow up, you become that person you once aspired to be and it's a beautiful feeling.
Glowing up is a constant rebirth and coming of age journey with yourself.
You get to reflect on your former life and you get to witness just how much you've grown as a person. It's a time to walk into your destiny and be proud of all your hard work and sacrifices you've made throughout the years. There is no end point in glowing up, it's an ongoing process that you should proudly walk in. As for me, the glow has just begun and shall continue for years to come.
There's always more goals to set, more room for growth, and like our girl Rihanna's Trophy Wife highlighter, you can never have too much glow.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissons@xonecole.com
Featured image by Getty Images
Ashley McDonough is a writer and producer in New York City. When she's not busy writing or producing culturally conscious content, she is patiently waiting for Oprah and Stedman to adopt her. Keep up with her journey via social @Ashley_Milani or check out her work on www.AshleyMcDonough.org.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage