

Women of color receive less support in the workplace. According to the Harvard Business Review, it's one of the reasons why there's only 4% of women of color in the C-suite. The lack of support at work is the reason why mentorship is such a vital ingredient to our career success.
More and more women are stepping up to the plate to mentor the next generation. They're making mentorship a priority because paying it forward is a responsibility, and they want to break the mentality that you have to get to the top alone.
Here are four women who share how stepping into a role of mentorship has been one of their greatest rewards.
Manessa Lormejuste
Cosmetic Chemist at L'Oreal USA
Courtesy of Manessa Lormejuste
Why is mentorship important to you?
Mentorship is important to me because I recall being a young girl interested in STEM and not having a mentor to model myself after as I've grown older and realized that not only am I a thriving WOC but that my deep roots in STEM can allow me to be a resource for others. By extending my experiences and expertise to others, I can be that role model I didn't have growing up.
When and why did you first become a mentor?
I first became an official mentor in 2017 through the Intrepid Sea, Air, and Space Museum in NYC. At that time, I was mentoring a group of four young women from NYC who were interested in STEM. I had just completed my undergraduate degree in Chemistry, and I was looking for a way to give back. Young women are often discouraged from seeking careers in the sciences since it is traditionally male-dominated. I wanted to be living proof that not only can women succeed in science but that I didn't have to change my femininity to do so. Since then, I have mentored at least five more young women at various steps in their development.
"By extending my experiences and expertise to others, I can be that role model I didn't have growing up."
What's been the biggest reward of mentoring?
The biggest reward of mentoring was that the relationship is mutually beneficial. My mentees were actively interested in engineering and technology. While that is not where my experience lies, they were able to teach me a wealth of knowledge about programming platforms that were integrated into their project. Being able to also learn from them was rewarding. One of my mentees went on to intern at NASA doing complex research. Another one of the young ladies I mentored started her college journey at MIT.
In my role at L'Oreal, when I get a chance to mentor the incoming interns, the biggest reward is seeing how they value my experience. I am an open book which allows us to have natural conversations about their growth and development. Seeing them thrive makes it all worthwhile.
How has mentoring changed your life?
Mentoring has changed my life as I have been able to connect with many young women who would not have known about a career such as mine. Mentoring has also allowed me to be more confident in myself and stick true to my beliefs. As I continue to pour into my mentees based on my own experiences, I realize that the life I have chosen to pursue was not a mistake, but what I was destined to do.
Nekasha Pratt
Director of Marketing, Tennessee Department of Tourist Development
Courtesy of Nekasha Pratt
Why is mentorship important to you?
Mentoring is important because everyone needs help and guidance as they move throughout their career. It goes back to the proverb "Each one, teach one" and the fact that we can all help each other be better.
When and why did you first become a mentor?
I became a "Big Sister" with Big Brothers Big Sisters almost four years ago. The organization was doing community outreach to attract new mentors, and once I learned the number of children waiting for mentors, I reached out to volunteer. I always wanted to get more involved locally, and I thought not only could I mentor a young woman, but she and I could volunteer in the community together. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made.
In addition to Big Brothers Big Sisters, I've also been a mentor with the tnAchieves program, which is Tennessee's scholarship program that connects mentors with high school students working towards earning a post-secondary credential. Additionally, I'm currently a business mentor with Pathway Women's Business Center, which helps business owners grow and expand their businesses. I've had a total of six mentees in the last four years.
How has mentoring changed your life?
I am a better person and leader because I'm a mentor. My listening and communication skills have improved, and my patience and empathy have increased. I enjoy helping others achieve their goals, so I also have an increased sense of personal pride from seeing a person I mentored succeed.
Carjie Scott
Higher Education Administrator
Courtesy of Carjie Scott
Why is mentorship important to you?
We all need relationships with people who hold us accountable, challenge us to do great things, and set the example on how to do it. My frame of mind is to help others realize that it doesn't matter where you come from, what you look like, what society deems you to be, or the like. Instead, I want mentees to know their value, profit off their talents, and surround themselves with people who appreciate them. Therefore, I'm paying it forward with that mentality now. I know that this was something that I was born to do; so, every opportunity I get to help someone, I use it.
What did your mentee have that made you want to invest more time with her/him/they?
My mentee relationships are casual. I am a phone call or email away; when someone needs help, I assist them. I have found mentees through programs like TN Promise, a grant program for students interested in attending college for free in TN. I have also found mentees organically through my volunteer work throughout Nashville. I believe that it's up to the mentee to call me their mentor, but even without the title or the formal ask, I am here to help when I can. One thing I've learned is, when people ask you to be their mentor, no matter their age or perceived skill set, you should help them. People have asked me to mentor them, and I immediately thought, "Why is she asking me? I should be asking them." Those have been my best relationships.
"One thing I've learned is, when people ask you to be their mentor, no matter their age or perceived skill set, you should help them."
What's been the biggest reward of mentoring?
The biggest reward from mentoring is seeing mentees use the advice I gave and watching them grow and prosper. I also feel good about giving back to others. I recognize that it takes a village and I'm honored to have one. If it weren't for mentors being there for me, I wouldn't be the person I am today.
How has mentoring changed your life?
Mentoring has made me a better person, and I think it has made others better. It has increased my relationships with others and allowed me the chance to encourage others to do their very best. It makes me live a purpose-driven life because I know that people are looking up to me. I understand that I can't give the shirt off my back if I don't have a shirt on. So, it makes me take care of myself, so I can care for others.
Crystle Johnson
Sr. Consultant, Inclusion, Diversity & CSR at Electronic Arts
Courtesy of Crystle Johnson
Why is mentorship important to you?
Mentorship is important to me because we don't know what we don't know. Mentorship allows us to level up our knowledge in areas where we have gaps and opportunities to help us grow.
When and why did you first become a mentor?
I became a mentor because I wanted to be everything that I needed to other professionals who look like me. I struggled a lot at the start of my career because I didn't know how to ask for help and didn't have examples of what success could look like for me. For the last few years, I've set aside a few hours each week to listen and answer questions from women who reach out to me for career navigation advice. I've even started a podcast, Read My Lipstick, that highlights the stories of ordinary women of color who are doing extraordinary things every day.
What did your mentee have that made you want to invest more time with her/him/they?
My style of mentoring is organic. When mentoring others, there is one thing that I look for: humility. If you're willing to lay it all out there and ask for help, I'm here to help you break down the barriers that lie ahead.
How has mentoring changed your life?
Mentoring has given me a sense of purpose and accomplishment. We don't have to fly to the moon or cure cancer to be extraordinary. Through empowering, supporting, and sharing with those who need it -- we are extraordinary.
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- Why Mentors Matter: A summary of 30 years of research ›
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- 5 Reasons to Mentor Youth - Stand Together Foundation ›
- Want to Leave a Legacy? Be a Mentor - The New York Times ›
- Leadership in Mentoring: The Benefits of Being a Mentor ›
- 21 Quotes That Show the Purpose and Impact of Mentors - Modern ... ›
- Why Mentor? Understanding the Impact Mentoring Has on Youth ›
Brittney Oliver is a marketing communications professional from Greater Nashville. Over the past three years, Brittney has built her platform Lemons 2 Lemonade to help Millennials turn life's obstacles around. Her platform is known for its networking mixers, which has brought over 300 NYC young professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives together to turn life's lemons into lemonade. Brittney is a contributing writer for Fast Company and ESSENCE, among other media outlets.
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
One of my favorite things to do is kiss. In fact, kissing is so important to me that I once stayed with someone longer than I should’ve, in part, because he was such a good kisser (to the point where I can confirm that “kissing orgasms” are a real thing) and I also once broke up with someone because he absolutely sucked at kissing (ugh). Kissing is sexy. Kissing is sensual. Kissing is intimate.
And science says that kissing can boost endorphin levels in your body; reduce feelings that are associated with stress and anxiety; elevate your immunity; help to lessen allergy-related symptoms; soothe headaches and period cramp discomfort; make you horny (yes, literally), and even decrease your chances of getting cavities.
Yes, kissing is a good thing. A really good thing.
Oh, but as someone who is turning out to be one of my favorite philosophers (Aristotle) once said, the excess of a virtue can indeed turn into a vice — and as far as kissing is concerned, that can prove itself to be true in a way that some may have thought was nothing more than an urban myth: getting STIs (sexually transmitted infections)/STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) from doing it.
Yep, if you heard somewhere that you can get an STI/STD from puckering up, there is indeed some truth to that, so please take a moment to read more about it. That way, you can finally separate fact from fiction.
Bottom Line, Yes…You Can. However, the Risks Are Relatively Low.
Honestly, if you let it sink in that a kiss that lasts for longer than 10 seconds will result in about 80 million bacteria being exchanged, that alone should cause it to make all of the sense in the world that a kiss isn’t something that should be taken as casually as a lot of people do. And although, when it comes to STIs/STDs, it is far easier to transmit them through penetrative or oral sex, the reality is that there are some that can you get via saliva or the mucous membranes that are in your mouth (although infected saliva that is on something like a sex toy makes your chances much lower because STIs/STDs tend to “deactivate” once they are exposed to the air).
And since “low probability” doesn’t mean “absolutely not,” I think we should look into which STIs/STDs could become an issue whenever you go in for a smooch vs. the ones that you don’t really have to concern yourself with at all.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN Get from Kissing
So, here’s the deal: If you happen to have a cut in your mouth or you’ve got a cold sore, that can significantly increase your chances of being exposed to an STI/STD if your partner happens to have one. Which ones am I speaking of specifically?
- Herpes (more specifically, HSV-1)
- Syphilis
- Cytomegalovirus (CMV)
- Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
Now something that’s important to keep in mind about three out of four of these (herpes, CMV, and HPV), is that, although they are very treatable, they currently don’t have a cure. As far as the one that does have one (syphilis), it’s important that it’s discovered and treated in its early stages; otherwise, it can lead to things like weight and hair loss, infertility and, if ignored for too long, it can even become life-threatening.
I don’t know about y’all but, to me, this all sounds like valid enough reasons to be cautious when it comes to who you share your mouth with.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN’T Get from Kissing
Okay, so what STIs/STDs does science say you don’t have to worry about when you’re kissing someone?
- Chlamydia
- Gonorrhea
- Hepatitis
- Trichomoniasis
- HIV
- Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
The reason why is because these are all things that are spread through oral, anal, or vaginal sex acts (however, they can oftentimes be asymptomatic, so if you are sexually active, please make sure to get tested no less than once a year). That said, if you do happen to have one of these STIs/STDs, please show courtesy and respect to your partner by letting them know — even if sex isn’t currently on the table for you.
Although research does indeed say that kissing doesn’t put them at risk, they still have the right to decide if they want to move forward with intimacy, of any kind, while these health-related issues are being treated.
5 Ways to Reduce Your Chances of Getting an STI/STD from Kissing
Okay, so now that you can confidently separate what you should actually know (and take to heart) from what you may have randomly heard that couldn’t be further from the truth, if you’re curious about what you can do to decrease your chances of getting an STI/STD from kissing, I’ve got a few tips:
Take kissing seriously. Grandma said don’t put your mouth everywhere and she’s right. In a world that continually tries to gaslight us into thinking that we can (and damn near should) just do whatever with whoever without consequence, as you can see, that’s simply not true — especially when you take into account how wild it is that most of the STIs/STDs that you can get from kissing don’t have a cure.
Moral to this story: Your mouth is as valuable as every other part of your body. It is a privilege to kiss it, so please act accordingly. Oh, and don’t be afraid to ask about people’s sexual health status before letting them put their tongue all up and in your mouth. You know what they say — an ounce of prevention is always gonna be worth a pound of cure (or treatment).
Practice intentional oral hygiene. Hopefully, brushing and flossing on a daily basis are a given. What I mean here is you should look for signs of cold sores, cuts, or lesions in your mouth (including a blister that you may get from a burned tongue) on a weekly basis. If any of these are evident in you or your partner, it’s best to wait to kiss (if you haven’t BOTH recently been tested).
Y’all be careful with all of the sexy biting. Speaking of open wounds (relatively speaking, anyway), although I once read that, according to the Kama Sutra, biting lips while kissing is a sign of strong desire and sexual arousal, it can also leave cuts that could make you more vulnerable to getting sick. So, on this one, enter with caution. Straight up.
Don’t kiss when you’re feeling under the weather. Mono, colds and the flu, COVID-19, stomach viruses — these are some of the other things that you and your partner can give to one another while exchanging a kiss. Since some of the symptoms that are related to these may mimic some that come from an STI/STD, it’s best to not kiss when you are sick — not until you can confirm what you have and (preferably) the symptoms have passed.
Get tested on a regular basis. The only way that you are going to know for sure that kissing is a low-risk behavior for you and your partner is if you both get tested. If you’d prefer to do it from the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your own home, there are STI/STD tests that you can have sent to you (like the ones here, here, and here). They aren’t necessarily the cheapest in the world, yet they are pretty darn accurate and can give you the peace of mind that you seek.
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Listen, I am Team Kissing just as much as the next person. However, whenever I stop to think about all that goes on in a mouth, I thought it was important that you become aware as well. As I said earlier, a good kiss is pretty incomparable. Let’s all just make sure that we leave kisses better and not worse off after experiencing them — literally and figuratively.
Amen? I’m sayin’.
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Featured image by Vera Vita/Getty Images