Mentor Mondays: 7 Ways To Find & Develop A Relationship With A Mentor
For some, it may be hard to believe that a person who failed English courses all throughout school is now a Senior Contributor for Forbes as well as a celebrity ghostwriter…unless that someone is Pauleanna Reid.
Pauleanna Reid On Leveling Up & Evaluating Your Friends Circleswww.youtube.com
Pauleanna Reid, a college dropout turned six-figure entrepreneur, understands firsthand what it's like to have naysayers and people who don't believe in you, your talents, or your dreams. Conversely, she also knows how important and powerful it is to have a mentor - someone who believes in you and will help guide you along your professional journey. Throughout her career, she's been blessed to have up to six mentors, but she also dedicates her time to mentoring women through her mentor program, New Girl On The Block.
Needless to say, she knows more than a thing or two about mentors. So, during a special edition of the xoNecole "Mentor Mondays", Pauleanna shared some magnificent tips about mentorship with an exclusive group of more than 100 xoTribe members.
1.“Reduce stress, add value.”
Find ways to do this when it comes to finding a mentor, as well as building relationships and partnerships. "People like to know what the benefit or transformation will be as a result of working with you," Pauleanna explained. It's about understanding the difference between your self-worth and your market value (thanks to Amanda Seales); knowing the difference between what you think you deserve versus what you actually bring to the table. If possible, find a way to assist them or volunteer for them.
2.Put in the self-work before you ask someone else to do the work.
I like how Pauleanna defined a mentor as someone who can "help take you to the next level AFTER you've utilized your resources and have taken the first steps." Nonetheless, mentorship requires a lot of time, resources, and sacrifice. So, before you ask someone to give their time and resources, make sure you're making the best use of your own. Before you ask someone to mentor you, ask yourself: "Am I doing everything that I should be doing?"
Like Pauleanna said, "If you want someone's time, then show them a receipt."
In other words, find a way to get in a room with them or sign up for one of their programs, workshops, or conferences. Furthermore, instead of asking "can I pick your brain", consider requesting an informational interview for no more than 15-20 minutes.
3.“Don’t ask for directions from someone who hasn’t been where you want to go.”
Like Pauleanna said, "I don't take advice from people who I wouldn't trade bank accounts with." You have to ask yourself: do they (the potential mentors) and their lives align with the type of woman you want to become?
4.Let the relationship develop and grow organically.
For some of her mentors, Pauleanna was introduced to them and they developed from pure, genuine relationships. For others, she asked them directly. Similar to any type of relationship, regardless of how it may start, the best thing to do is to let it flow and grow naturally. Don't try to force it.
5.Mentors shouldn’t be monolithic.
Your mentors don't have to necessarily be in the same industry, age bracket, or even be the same race. Like Pauleanna said, "They can be dead or alive, and they can even be a mentor in your head." Regardless, if you're going to have multiple mentors, strive to have a variety in different areas so they can provide different perspectives.
6.“The best way to thank a mentor is to show them that the advice given has been applied.”
Mentors are designed to help take you to the next level, but AFTER you've utilized any available resources including YouTube, Google, etc. Make sure you do the self-work. Actually show them how you've applied what you've learned to your own life or business.
7.“Be a vibe!”
Simply put, if you want to be around interesting people, then be interesting. As Pauleanna put it, "Once you're a resource, people will always want to mess with you. So, build a network before you need it." Whether the mentor is peer-to-peer (horizontal) or vertical, include people who are near where you are in life, as well as those who are five levels ahead of you because it opens your mind to greater possibilities. If you don't have a peer-to-peer group that you can go to for business advice, solutions, or discussions, then you may want to re-evaluate your relationships. Otherwise, you could decide to step up and be the one who starts to normalize those types of conversations.
To watch the playback of this Mentor Monday's session and other exclusive workshops, join our xoTribe membership community today!
Featured image via Pauleanna Reid
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Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.