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From Dropout To Self-Made Entreprenuer, Pauleanna Reid Paved A Lane All Her Own
Women empowerment isn't a game for Pauleanna Reid. As the co-founder of New Girl on the Block, a mentorship program that reaches over 200 women across 10 countries, the Toronto native ushers millennials into lives of their own creation. It's a mission that is deeply personal, especially when the senior contributor at Forbes and Business Insider retraces her steps to success.
As a target for bullies throughout her K-12 experience, Pauleanna once questioned her space in the world. "Since I can remember, I always felt misunderstood," she tells xoNecole. "I always felt like I did not fit in. I always felt like I was reaching for validation. I always felt like I had to prove something to somebody."
Courtesy of Pauleanna Reid
"I always felt like I was reaching for validation. I always felt like I had to prove something to somebody."
In the midst of isolation, she found solace in notebooks. Toting blank pages with her everywhere she went, Pauleanna discovered a love for words and dared to dream beyond the classroom. However, when she decided to articulate her desire to be a writer at the end of high school, her parents and guidance counselor were quick to point out that she failed English her junior and senior year. In their eyes, her choice didn't add up. "My philosophy is that your parents don't always know what's best for you. Sometimes they project their own fears and doubts on you, and they put you in a box and put a label on you because they were too afraid to pursue their dreams themselves," she points out. "My parents wanted me to play it safe."
Steered by opinions outside of her own, Pauleanna enrolled in a business administration program instead. "I absolutely hated it," she remembers. What should have been a launching pad for her dream career became a graveyard where her vision was laid to rest. The depression that loomed throughout her childhood crashed hard. She didn't socialize, turn in assignments, or attend class for weeks at a time. "The classroom was somewhere where I did not feel safe," Pauleanna reveals.
During her sophomore year, she attempted to commit suicide twice.
"When I recovered from both attempts, I took it very seriously," she reflects. "I believe that God was telling me that second chances do exist and that there was a purpose for my life, and that was the moment I decided that I was going to dedicate my life to figuring out what my purpose was. I immediately dropped out of school."
Courtesy of Pauleanna Reid
"I believe that God was telling me that second chances do exist and that there was a purpose for my life, and that was the moment I decided that I was going to dedicate my life to figuring out what my purpose was."
Pauleanna hid her decision from her parents for a little over a year. "I wanted to have receipts before I told them I dropped out of school," she says. "I wanted to have experience under my belt."
She made her next move with careful thought. "If I was not going to pursue a traditional education, that meant I had to turn the world into my classroom," she explains. "In addition to life experiences, I also knew that I needed to stand on the shoulders of giants. I knew that I had to acquire mentors."
In 2009, Pauleanna met sex educator Shannon Boodram and media professional Shannae Ingleton Smith. "They've been my big sisters for the last decade, and they really catapulted my writing career to be honest," she expresses with humility.
While Shannae encouraged Pauleanna to start her own blog, Shannon guided her through the process of penning her debut novel Everything I Couldn't Tell My Mother. The book, which mirrors 90 percent of Pauleanna's life, faced 22 rejections from publishers before she opted to cut out the middleman and self-publish. "I understood that I wasn't going to let someone in a corner office who had no idea who I was dictate the next steps of my career," she stresses.
Everything I Couldn't Tell My Mother went on to become an Amazon best-seller and 2014 Top Summer Read on the Queen Latifah Show. The personal tale, which tackles date rape, abusive relationships, and deep-seated insecurites, also gives way to reflection, growth, and self-love. "The one thing I really wanted to convey in this book is in order to achieve the success that you want, you have to either let go of resentment or anger or deal with the issues you've been bearing head on," Pauleanna says. "If you're carrying emotional baggage, you will not give yourself the opportunity to open your hands up and catch a blessing."
The full-time entrepreneur also notes that this process takes time. "The only way I know how to climb out of any hole that I'm in is gradually," she maintains. "I think you have to give yourself time. You can't put so much pressure on yourself to heal in a specific timeframe."
Since being diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2010, Pauleanna gave herself permission to try everything from medication to therapy. While implementing lifestyle changes were key to her progress, tuning into self and connecting with God reigned supreme on her road to wellness. "When it has been necessary, God has always shown up. It's been very evident. Whether it was a job opportunity, removing people from my life, or helping me recover from my suicide attempts, He has always shown up on time," she muses. "I want people to know that there is life after disappointment. Everything that we experience is for our greater good. It may not always make sense, but we have to understand that God is not obligated to tell us the details. He has a greater plan for our lives, and it doesn't include crying at night or believing that we're broken."
Courtesy of Pauleanna Reid
"Everything that we experience is for our greater good. It may not always make sense, but we have to understand that God is not obligated to tell us the details. He has a greater plan for our lives, and it doesn't include crying at night or believing that we're broken."
She is a testament to this thought. After dropping out of college, she fulfilled her childhood dream of becoming an author, launched the celebrity ghostwriting agency WritersBlok, and elevated to senior contributor at Forbes and Business Insider. In the process, she also collided with a deeper calling. "After looking at my career, many people would assume that my purpose is writing. My purpose is not writing," the public speaker says with clarity. "My purpose is I'm here to help people see beyond the limits of their circumstances."
As a mentor to millennials, Pauleanna encourages the hundreds in her program and the thousands tuning into her moves on social media to play it smart instead of throwing blind darts in hopes that they'll land on a goal. Before stepping into full-time entrepreneurship, she held down a corporate job for a decade and used her free time to sharpen her business acumen, build a proven track record of selling products and services, and slice her debt by $45,000. "Don't let the Internet rush you," she warns. "It took me 10 years to figure out the formula, and I was totally OK with that. I think the reason why my transition was so successful is because I'm very patient with myself and like Jay Z says, I play the long game."
And while she could hoard the gems she's accrued along the way, Pauleanna is completely fulfilled paying it forward, the same way her mentors continue to come through for her today. "They believed in me on days I didn't believe in myself. I can screenshot any conversation, and they always tell me I'm a bad b***h," she says. "They always tell me I can do anything."
For more of Pauleanna, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Pauleanna Reid
Shanice Davis is a writer from New York, dedicated to illuminating women of color and Caribbean culture with her pen. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter: @alwayshanice.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."