What They Don’t Tell You About Self-Publishing A Book
On April 4, 2018, I announced to the world that I wrote a book, sunny., and it was available for pre-order.
sunny. is a collection of poetry and prose about the ins and outs, ups and downs, and twists and turns of life and love. Rooted in the notion that "everything is a peace of a poem, if you're paying attention," sunny. explores how to learn to love yourself, what happens to the love when a relationship ends, and how love finds us in even the seemingly minute details of life alone or with someone else. The book was born out of a need to process a relationship I couldn't make sense of and a challenge from a sorority sister.
I, like most writers, dream of having a literary agent and getting a book deal, but that isn't my current reality. Still, I knew sunny. was a book that warranted being in the world, so I decided I would self-publish it and learned a lot along the way.
If you're considering self-publishing your book, here are 6 things to keep in mind:
Do Your Best to Nip Impostor Syndrome in the Bud
You might be wondering if anyone is going to care about your book beyond your Mom, Dad, and maybe a few friends. You can't afford to think that way. People will care about your book if you care about it. People will care about your book if you make them care about it. When you self-publish, you're one person show so confidence about your work is a necessity or else you won't be able to promote it well or pursue opportunities you know you and your book deserve.
Think About Marketing
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As I already said, when you self-publish a book you are a one person show unless you've got it like that to hire others to do your marketing for you or help you with it. But if that's not your situation, then as you're working on your manuscript, you should also be working on your marketing plan. How will you publicize your book? How are you creating and sustaining buzz? How will your book live and sell beyond its initial launch high? What marketing assets do you need?
And your plan needs to be deeper than, "Hey, I wrote a book and I think it's great so you should buy it." What reason does someone have to buy your book if they come across it in a store or see it mentioned on social media? What value is it adding? What story are you telling and how are you constantly reaching and engaging with your demographic through your marketing channels? Will you run social media ads or create a sales funnel?
Consider these things while you're writing and the process after publication will be much easier. Tools like Canva are great for designing branded assets for Twitter, Instagram, and your website if you can't afford to hire a designer. Services like Buffer allow you to pre-schedule social media content and also send it out for you, enabling you to pursue that next project without wondering if you've mentioned your last offering yet. If you want to run ads or create a sales funnel, do your research and hire out for those services or invest in courses about how to do it right on your own.
Remember, if you write it, some will come, but if you want your book to have a long life, you'll need to market it and tell people why it's worth reading.
Pick Your Publishing Platform Well
I published sunny. through, what was at the time, Createspace, one of Amazon's self-publishing platforms. It has since merged with the Kindle platform and become KDP or Kindle Direct Publishing. As I was researching self-publishing platforms, I also came across other popular offerings like Blurb and Lulu.com. There's also Tablo which I was just introduced to and boasts that it will get your book into 40,000 bookstores from Amazon to Barnes & Noble, as well as physical retailers all over the world.
Each platform is going to come with different costs, offerings, and royalties. You want to keep those three areas in mind as you pick the platform that's right for you. Think about what your goals for your book are and which platform will get you closest to achieving them.
You'll also need to think about if you're going to have a physical book, e-book or both and which platform will best enable you to distribute them. Know that you'll have to go through separate processes to get on iBooks and Nook, so be prepared for that extra step no matter what platform you choose.
Do Your Research
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When I had written enough of sunny. to realize that it could actually be a book, I went to a bookstore to study what other books in my genre looked and felt like. I took notes on everything - font, font size, how the books were structured, how many pages they had on average, the cover art, the cover material (front and back), what was on the spine, the color of the pages, where the title and author name were located, how the table of contents was laid out if it had one, how poems were structured on the pages, and most of all, how each book made me feel. I wanted to make sure that sunny. would make sense, look right, and stand out if someone dropped it in a stack of poetry books by prominent poets of yesterday and today.
Once you have a general sense of what books in your genre are like, research and think about how you can make your book stand out. Sunny. has a simple cover. It's just the title, my name, a saxophone, and a bright yellow background. I haven't seen many poetry books with a saxophone on the cover or with bright yellow backgrounds and I knew these design choices would make sunny. stand out while also communicating that there's a story behind the sax and the book is about finding the sun. It makes you feel warm inside and intrigued; both being characteristics I believe have helped it sell well.
Be Mindful of Your Costs
Unlike getting started on other creative endeavors, self-publishing does have a price tag associated with it. You will need to pay for your ISBN, which is like your book's identification number. You'll also want to copyright your work with the U.S. Copyright office for an extra layer of protection. And if you're hiring out for design work or marketing help, those services will cost you as well.
Make sure you have a budget for the process and do your best to stay under it. You can't get out of buying an ISBN and while you can skip the copyright, it's really not the best idea. I recommend buying your ISBN from whoever you self-publish with as it will just be easier and they may even include it in the price of using their platform. Your copyright will cost anywhere from $35-$85 and again, is a step that should not be overlooked.
Think About Opportunities for Expansion Early
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You don't need to have a podcast, event series, and merchandise ready to go as soon as your book is released into the world. In my personal opinion, it's smart to see how people respond to the book before jumping on to various spin-offs, but if folks are responding well, think about ways you can build on the initial interest and purchases to really create a brand out of your work. Can you host workshops, parties or other events? Is there a podcast in there to extend the story? Are people asking you for merchandise? Thinking about the larger picture of the brand that can grow as a result of your book while you're in the process of publishing will make you better prepared for later down the line.
Ultimately, bringing a book into the world is no small feat and thanks to technology, getting a traditional book deal is no longer the only way to become or be successful as an author. Hopefully these tips and tricks help you in your process of self-publishing and congratulations! You're going to be an author!
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Gabrielle Hickmon is a writer and author. Founder of The Reign XY, a lifestyle site for millennial women, co-host of EightyTwo NinetySix Podcast and author of sunny. a collection of poetry and prose about the ins and outs, ups and downs, and twists and turns of life and love, Gabrielle is interested in creating work that reflects and interrogates her experiences in today's culture. You can keep up with her via Twitter, Instagram and her website.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
GiphyAbout five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
GiphySociety is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
GiphyThe reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
Giphy“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
GiphyOkay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
GiphyAs we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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