The Argument For Letting People "Pick Your Brain"
I launched my company a few years ago as a side hustle, and honestly, my company wouldn't be a real company to this day if it wasn't for my social media friend turned actual friend in real life.
After I launched my business, I struggled with the strategic marketing aspects which in return was heavily impacting my user growth. Meanwhile, I knew of a friend who had a similar business that was doing great (well, technically we were just Twitter friends). His business was doubling its user base month after month, and I would always admire his startup success virtually from afar. While I didn't know this person well, I had a strong desire to chat with him regardless and get some entrepreneurship advice.
Upon finding his email address online and sending a cold email (remember we were only Twitter friends), I literally talked myself out of the whole ordeal over and over again for days. I was fully aware of the disgrace behind asking to "pick someone's brain" and I didn't want to come off as needy or incompetent. Despite this, I couldn't help but to think about two things: 1) You miss every shot that you don't take, and 2) Wouldn't you want to help someone out with advice if you could?
Fast forward two anxious days later, I pressed 'send' on my email, and believe it or not, Twitter friend responded. He agreed to chat with me for a few minutes to answer the questions that I had the following week. During our phone call, I shared with him my business, and a quick synopsis on the issues. In return, he shared some tips on how I could turn things around in my business, and even gave me the scoop on the strategic marketing strategies that was personally working for his company.
As I reflect on this moment, I can't help but to think how much higher we all could go in our careers and entrepreneur endeavors if we had that same energy as my Twitter friend. If a person reaches out in a professional and genuine manner, what harm will it do to share some gems with them? As the saying goes, "You rise by lifting others."
You are truly your only competition, so why are so many people so against the idea of someone "picking their brain"?
When you think about the things you've went through professionally, wouldn't you want to save other people the stress of going through the same? There are so many positive things to be said about people who are open to being receptive when asked for advice. Even now in year two of my business, I refuse to roll my eyes when someone (whether virtually or personally) asks to pick my brain.
I've personally endured so much pain and stress while launching my business, and I would be more than happy to share what I can with others (no invoice required).
The next time someone reaches out asking to "pick your brain", if they approach you in a respectful manner, and if you have the time and energy to lend, before you say "no" or ignore them, remember this:
- You never know who you may need in the future or who could impact your career or life, so if you can be helpful to another person, do it.
- You are your only competition. By helping others, it will not affect the success of your business.
How have you benefited from someone letting you pick their brain? Please share your testimony below!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How To Shoot Your Professional Shot
Don't Ask To 'Pick Your Brain' - Try These Approaches
How To Network Like A Boss When You're At An Event Alone
Featured image by Getty Images
- 6 Ways To Let People Pick Your Brain Without Wasting Your Time ›
- 'Can I Pick Your Brain?' Is 1 of the Most Irritating Questions of All ... ›
- How To Say No To People Who Want To Pick Your Brain ›
- Why You Shouldn't Let People Pick Your Brain (And What to Do ... ›
- Stop asking, 'Can I pick your brain?' Harvard researchers say this is ... ›
- What To Do With All Those "Pick Your Brain" Requests ›
- To be successful, ask this instead of 'Can I pick your brain ... ›
- The Right Way to Ask, 'Can I Pick Your Brain?' - The New York Times ›
- My magic response to "Hey, can I pick your brain?" - Stacking the Bricks ›
- Should You Let People Pick Your Brain | Small Biz Ahead ›
Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."