I launched my company a few years ago as a side hustle, and honestly, my company wouldn't be a real company to this day if it wasn't for my social media friend turned actual friend in real life.
After I launched my business, I struggled with the strategic marketing aspects which in return was heavily impacting my user growth. Meanwhile, I knew of a friend who had a similar business that was doing great (well, technically we were just Twitter friends). His business was doubling its user base month after month, and I would always admire his startup success virtually from afar. While I didn't know this person well, I had a strong desire to chat with him regardless and get some entrepreneurship advice.
Upon finding his email address online and sending a cold email (remember we were only Twitter friends), I literally talked myself out of the whole ordeal over and over again for days. I was fully aware of the disgrace behind asking to "pick someone's brain" and I didn't want to come off as needy or incompetent. Despite this, I couldn't help but to think about two things: 1) You miss every shot that you don't take, and 2) Wouldn't you want to help someone out with advice if you could?
Fast forward two anxious days later, I pressed 'send' on my email, and believe it or not, Twitter friend responded. He agreed to chat with me for a few minutes to answer the questions that I had the following week. During our phone call, I shared with him my business, and a quick synopsis on the issues. In return, he shared some tips on how I could turn things around in my business, and even gave me the scoop on the strategic marketing strategies that was personally working for his company.
As I reflect on this moment, I can't help but to think how much higher we all could go in our careers and entrepreneur endeavors if we had that same energy as my Twitter friend. If a person reaches out in a professional and genuine manner, what harm will it do to share some gems with them? As the saying goes, "You rise by lifting others."
You are truly your only competition, so why are so many people so against the idea of someone "picking their brain"?
When you think about the things you've went through professionally, wouldn't you want to save other people the stress of going through the same? There are so many positive things to be said about people who are open to being receptive when asked for advice. Even now in year two of my business, I refuse to roll my eyes when someone (whether virtually or personally) asks to pick my brain.
I've personally endured so much pain and stress while launching my business, and I would be more than happy to share what I can with others (no invoice required).
The next time someone reaches out asking to "pick your brain", if they approach you in a respectful manner, and if you have the time and energy to lend, before you say "no" or ignore them, remember this:
- You never know who you may need in the future or who could impact your career or life, so if you can be helpful to another person, do it.
- You are your only competition. By helping others, it will not affect the success of your business.
How have you benefited from someone letting you pick their brain? Please share your testimony below!
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Roscoe Dash joined xoMan host Kiara Walker to share the journey of his personal and spiritual evolution—from the party anthems that made him famous to a deeper life rooted in faith, family, and purpose. This episode offers an honest look at how the artist has grown beyond early fame, addressing fatherhood, masculinity, creativity, and healing.
Dash opened up about the internal transformation that has guided him away from chasing the spotlight and toward seeking peace. “Faith and fear can’t occupy the same space,” he said, underscoring his shift toward a more spiritually grounded life. Throughout the interview, he emphasized the importance of self-reflection:
“The most important conversations to me, honestly, outside of the ones you have with God, is the ones you have with yourself in the mirror.”
Dash is focused on the man he’s become. “I’m not the accolades I’ve achieved—I’m the person who achieved them,” he added, pointing to a broader understanding of identity and worth. A large part of that growth has come through fatherhood, especially raising daughters, which he said has deepened his understanding of love. “Love is unconditional and love loves to love no matter what,” he shared.
He also spoke candidly about the pressures of fame and its impact on creativity. “Chasing fame can kill your creativity as a musician,” he warns. Instead, his advice to other artists is simple but clear: “Keep your focus on your art form, whatever that may be, and stay passionate.”
The conversation also touches on gender dynamics and emotional safety in relationships. “Safe men make soft women. If she feels safe, she’ll melt like butter,” he said, challenging traditional notions of masculinity. Roscoe also offers wisdom on discernment and spiritual testing: “Sometimes the devil will give you what looks better than your blessing.”
Ultimately, Dash has learned to embrace peace over chaos. “All I can do is control what I can control. And that's how I respond to things and what I'm giving out,” he said. It’s a thoughtful, soulful side of Roscoe Dash that many may not expect—but one that leaves a lasting impression.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube