The Argument For Letting People "Pick Your Brain"

Starting a business is hard, but making it last is harder.

Workin' Girl

I launched my company a few years ago as a side hustle, and honestly, my company wouldn't be a real company to this day if it wasn't for my social media friend turned actual friend in real life.

After I launched my business, I struggled with the strategic marketing aspects which in return was heavily impacting my user growth. Meanwhile, I knew of a friend who had a similar business that was doing great (well, technically we were just Twitter friends). His business was doubling its user base month after month, and I would always admire his startup success virtually from afar. While I didn't know this person well, I had a strong desire to chat with him regardless and get some entrepreneurship advice.

Upon finding his email address online and sending a cold email (remember we were only Twitter friends), I literally talked myself out of the whole ordeal over and over again for days. I was fully aware of the disgrace behind asking to "pick someone's brain" and I didn't want to come off as needy or incompetent. Despite this, I couldn't help but to think about two things: 1) You miss every shot that you don't take, and 2) Wouldn't you want to help someone out with advice if you could?

Fast forward two anxious days later, I pressed 'send' on my email, and believe it or not, Twitter friend responded. He agreed to chat with me for a few minutes to answer the questions that I had the following week. During our phone call, I shared with him my business, and a quick synopsis on the issues. In return, he shared some tips on how I could turn things around in my business, and even gave me the scoop on the strategic marketing strategies that was personally working for his company.

As I reflect on this moment, I can't help but to think how much higher we all could go in our careers and entrepreneur endeavors if we had that same energy as my Twitter friend. If a person reaches out in a professional and genuine manner, what harm will it do to share some gems with them? As the saying goes, "You rise by lifting others."

You are truly your only competition, so why are so many people so against the idea of someone "picking their brain"?

When you think about the things you've went through professionally, wouldn't you want to save other people the stress of going through the same? There are so many positive things to be said about people who are open to being receptive when asked for advice. Even now in year two of my business, I refuse to roll my eyes when someone (whether virtually or personally) asks to pick my brain.

I've personally endured so much pain and stress while launching my business, and I would be more than happy to share what I can with others (no invoice required).

The next time someone reaches out asking to "pick your brain", if they approach you in a respectful manner, and if you have the time and energy to lend, before you say "no" or ignore them, remember this:

  1. You never know who you may need in the future or who could impact your career or life, so if you can be helpful to another person, do it.
  2. You are your only competition. By helping others, it will not affect the success of your business.

How have you benefited from someone letting you pick their brain? Please share your testimony below!

Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:

How To Shoot Your Professional Shot

Don't Ask To 'Pick Your Brain' - Try These Approaches

How To Network Like A Boss When You're At An Event Alone

Featured image by Getty Images

You know what? Sometimes, you've got to push a few coins aside and determine in your mind that you're going to invest into your sex life (if you had a sex jar, this would be easier to do, by the way. You can read more about what that is all about here). If you're someone who is totally down to do that, but you don't have a clue where to begin, boy have you come to the right place! Between the joy of being a writer who sometimes gets samples sent to me, the constant research that I do for the couples I work with and having folks shout-out certain items semi-often, I've compiled a list of 12 sex-related items that may seem random AF (a pun is kind of intended there) and, at the same time, can make sex so much better between you and your partner. Where's your pad at? You're definitely gonna wanna take note.

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine about someone who once told me that they had an annual week-long summer rendezvous that lasted for over 15 years with someone else. Yep — this individual would meet up with another person who lived in a different state, solely to have sex for a week straight, and then return to their city as if nothing ever happened. According to them, the only reason why this ritual romp eventually came to an end is because the other person decided to get serious about someone else; however, it wasn't until it ended that the person who told me the story realized how attached they actually had become to their sex partner (a cautionary tale). After I completed my lil' tale, my friend simply said, "Oh, I do that s — t every cuffing season. There are some people who I only talk to around this time of year, we f — k around and then that's that until the season comes around again."

Keep reading... Show less

How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks about love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.

When it comes to sexuality, there have always been societal limitations centered on what is "acceptable." However, with more honest conversations about how fluid sexuality and sexual expression can be, now there are so many more opportunities for self-exploration and taking back ownership of our identities again. One couple that is living their truth and being sexual beings unapologetically while living and loving their lives are Jasmine Johnson and King Noire.

Keep reading... Show less

I'm so excited because one of my favorite unscripted shows is back. OWN's Ready to Love is a dating series that follows professionals over 30, looking for long-lasting relationships. Hosted by Nephew Tommy, it follows singles who desire true connections and are grouped together to find them.

Keep reading... Show less

Social media influencer and actress Tabitha Brown has garnered viral fame through her inspirational and vegan videos on Instagram, thanks to her cheerful personality and infectious smile. Now, she is entering a new phase in her life as an author. The 42-year-old released Feeding the Soul on Sept. 28 and recently shared an emotional video of herself after finding out her book was number one on the New York Times Best Sellers list.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

Jill Scott Talks Balance, 'Highway To Heaven' & Not Burning Herself Out To Produce

In this exclusive, the actress dishes on executive producing the reboot, and balancing business and motherhood.

Latest Posts