How To Shoot Your Professional Shot
I've witnessed some of the most elaborate schemes both men and women have undergone in order to shoot their shot at a potential love interest. Detailed research, consistent DMs, songs dedicated in their honor, and even cut-to-the-chase declarations of love. With so many outlets encouraging us to shoot our shots in order to find the "one", why can't we shoot shots in order to secure the bag?
According to a 2003 psychology study by Joyce Ehrlinger and Justin Kruger measuring perceived competence and assertiveness, women on average rated themselves a 6.5 out of 10, whereas men gave themselves a 7.6. In all areas tested in the study, men overestimated their abilities and performance, whereas women underestimated themselves despite similar rates of accuracy. Due to institutional and historic inequalities further impacting women of color in comparison to their white counterparts, it would not be surprising if research showed lower rates of perceived competence for WOC.
Lack of confidence in ourselves can manifest in lower recognition, compensation, and promotion rates, which is completely unacceptable when we put in the same amount of work – if not more.
Doom and gloom aside: Don't be your biggest obstacle. As said by Wayne Gretzky: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." In other words, you are guaranteed failure unless you try. Stick your hand out, introduce yourself, go after that promotion, be ass(HER)tive.
Here are 5 tips to help you shoot your professional shot.
Work Backwards
Have you ever looked up to a particular person and thought they were the ultimate definition of your #goals? A great tip is to research their profile from start to finish and see what steps are attainable within your own life.
Say your professional idol is Michelle Obama. From researching her profile, you will learn that she majored in Sociology, was involved in a number of multicultural organizations during college, received amazing grades, attended a top law school, worked at a law top firm, had local organizing experience, worked with non-profits, etc. From the top looking down, we see "Michelle: the BOSS First Lady" but not "Michelle: the local organizer and non-profit executive director". She too was once a hustling 20- and 30-something.
Find bits and pieces that are possible for you at this stage and build from the ground up. Cast a wide net and pursue people and apply for opportunities that will help you build a strong profile over time.
Attend Conferences & Speaking Engagements
The same way a bar or social event might bring together people you might click with on a romantic level, conferences and speaking engagements bring together a wide group of potential career matches. Go to conferences not only with the intent to learn something new from the outlined agenda but with the intent to network with attendees and presenters. You never know what opportunities may be of interest to you at a later time in your life or who might be able to connect you with your dream job. Take notes, bring business cards, send LinkedIn requests, and view every contact as a potential opportunity. Your network = Your net worth.
Related: Why Investing In Conferences Is Important For Women Leveling Up
Reach Out to Mutual Friends Within Your Professional Network
Even 2-5 years out of your first job, you have former friends and colleagues who have spread out across the country and onto schools and opportunities that you may now be interested in. If you are about to apply for a position that your former classmate is now the head of, shoot her a quick email. If your neighbor's cousin works for the university you are about to apply to for graduate school, simply ask if she knows anyone that can advise you about the application process. Your former boss moved on to a create a business venture you're interested in, ask if she can take 10 mins one evening to review your business plan. Don't leave the low hanging fruit unpicked – secure every small win you have within your grasp.
Related: The Introverted Girl's Guide to Office Networking
Send Coffee Chat Invites & Thank You Emails
I'll never forget the one time I sent a coffee chat invite to the global head of my department... and he responded in seconds. Upon meeting with him, he went on to tell me how few meeting requests he receives from interns and how he loves learning from junior employees. I was shook. Little did he know that the 15 minutes before I sent the email, I deleted and rewrote it 10 times, fearful that I was being "too forward" and overstepping my role. I could have missed out on a major opportunity. After our coffee chat, I sent him a short, genuine thank you note and he went on to greet me by name for the rest of the summer. Long story short: closed mouths don't get fed. The worst that can happen is your desired contact doesn't respond, and even then, you can send a follow-up note. Put your best foot forward and hope for the best.
Related: 'Pick Your Brain Over Coffee' -- Is It The Best Approach?
Have Your Elevator Pitch Ready
Even CEOs have to take the elevator or grab a quick bite to eat. Don't corner them or be too forward, but definitely introduce yourself and directly articulate your request and add value if you run into someone you want to connect with professionally. A strong elevator pitch has the following components: captures attention, is clear and concise, provides value or proof of results, has a call to action, and comes across as natural. It takes practice, but at the right moment, it can be a game-changer.
Remember:Rejection is not a dead end – persistence and self-confidence are key. Don't stop until you get that "yes" that makes everything worth it.
Featured image by AllGo - An App For Plus Size People on Unsplash
Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate who is passionate about using her voice to enact change in minority and female communities. Dubbed the "Intern Queen," she has worked 8+ internships in diverse industries, including Wall Street firms and the Obama White House, and is now bringing her career and lifestyle tips to you! Meet Lydia on Instagram @queen_of_anglin and Twitter @its_lit_dia.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage