

Do you know how to give a blowjob? Not just any blowjob, but an amazing blowjob? Three 6 Mafia had a song out when I was in high school that suggested giving great head was as simple as slobbing on the knob like corn on the cob, but it's much more involved than that. Giving a great blowjob ain't easy. To quote Samantha from Sex and the City: “Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing.”
Giving a blowjob can be intimidating but it can also be very enjoyable. Like with all things, the science behind the perfect blowjob is practice. It makes perfect. Below, you’ll find 9 blowjob tips from sex experts that will make you a blowjob pro in no time.
1.Treat giving a blowjob like the performance art that it is.
"The best thing you can bring to your oral sex game is enthusiasm! Oral sex is performance art and all performances need a great soundtrack. The quickest way to build enthusiasm is to get a song in your head that makes you feel confident and desirable. The song will take your head out of the game (no pun intended) and allow you to enjoy what you're doing. It will give you a rhythm to perform to. You can even hum the melody into your partner and mouth some of the lyrics for a little razzle-dazzle."
- Goody Howard, MSW, MPH, Sex Educator, @askgoody
2.Play with the senses.
"Don’t be afraid to play with the senses. Playing with sound and sight can really heighten the pleasure. Whether it’s you recording something motivational or just talking your partner up they might appreciate adding a little praise kink to the mix. 'I’m so proud of you, I’m so grateful that you’re in my life and I want you to sit back and enjoy yourself for me' playing in their headphones while you’re showing your oral support or playing a sexy playlist in their headphones while they have a satin scarf around their eyes.
"Switching it up doesn’t always have to mean looking for a new way to reinvent the wheel but going out of your way to make it exciting, different, and pleasurable."
- Samia Burton, Intimacy Coordinator, @sexual.essentials
3.Put some neck into it.
"Use your neck to give that neck. Being able to hit different angles by adjusting/rotating your neck gives your jaw a break and helps you explore different parts of his manhood while leaving room for sucking creativity!"
- CoCo, The Conversational Freak, @theconversationalfreak
4.The gag is, gag on it.
"Spit, spit, and more spit! Keep the penis juicy with a lot of spit. Allow the saliva from your mouth to cover the penis. This isn’t the time to be prim and proper, get nasty…gag, choke, slob all over it."
- Jasmine Daniels, MPH, The Vagina Liberator, @thevaginaliberator
5.Find your rhythm and breathe through your nose.
"Relax and breathe through your nose. This point is sort of twofold but they go together so we are going to count it as one. Naturally, when we relax we tend to take our time and not rush through things which in turn allows us time to breathe. The same strategy applies when there’s a penis going down your throat. Relax, find your rhythm, and breathe through your nose. You can increase the pace as you go along."
- J.Marie, MBA, Sexologist, @boobtionary
6.Add some props to the mix.
"Don't be afraid to try new things and explore. Level up by adding some props to the experience. Just like clits like vibration, so do dicks! Place a bullet-style vibrator on your cheek or under your chin to turn your whole mouth into a vibrator. The erectile tissue of a penis extends further down past the ball sack so applying that same vibrator underneath on the taint area will stimulate that tissue as well as radiate the vibration to the prostate creating a more intense orgasm for them.
"If you don't want the worry of having to hold a bullet vibrator, a vibrating c-ring can get the job done as well. You can place the vibrating piece wherever your partner likes while being hands-free for other exploration. There's plenty of variations of products to fit your choice of stimulation."
- Linnea Marie, Certified Sex Educator, @ex.x.xiteme
7.Show love to the frenulum.
"Give the frenulum attention. The penis has a highly sensitive vein along the back of the shaft. Give this vein some attention and watch the toes curl. You don't have to do too much to stimulate. Drag the tip of your tongue up and down the vein. Try out different variations of pressure with your tongue. If you have the oral capabilities, dragging your tongue up and down that vein specifically as you are sucking on the penis is top tier."
- Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd, Millennial Sexpert, @millennialsexpert
8.Give yourself a 'helping hand.'
"For those who don't like to swallow semen, try using a masturbator sleeve, like the Helping Hand by Bedroom Kandi with flavored lube. Use the sleeve on the shaft to allow him to fill the ribbed edges on the inside. When he ejaculates use the sleeve to catch the semen."
- Renee Yvonne, Certified Sex Coach at The Gen Sexologist, @thegensexologist
9.Opt out of shame.
"Remove all shame and judgments. This is a time to be wild, fun, and cocky. Pull your hair back. Let your clothes get wet. Make ugly sounds if you want. Don't worry about your nose or eyes running. You are there to give pleasure and be a part of their orgasm."
- Dr. Kreszentia Snyder, LCPC, Sexologist, Sex and Relationship Therapist, @DrEatPrayKink, @mindsempoweredcounseling
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Spring is upon us, and with this time of year comes the annual closet cleanout we so desperately need and collectively look forward to. As the chill of winter finally gives way to sunnier days, it’s the perfect opportunity to clear out what no longer serves us in life and our closets. A symbol of new beginnings and transformations, the shift in seasons is the perfect time to declutter our space while releasing the old to welcome the new.
During the process of evaluating our wardrobes, we determine what we can live without while looking forward to what it is we truly need. With trends constantly coming and going, it’s easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of “must-haves” that barely last a season. To help you create a closet you actually love, one that feels stylish, effortless, and true to you, we’ve curated 10 essentials that will ground your style and keep you ready for whatever the season brings.
1.White Tank Top
The must-have ribbed white tank is the number one staple everyone needs in their spring and summer wardrobe. Perfectly paired with denim, soft trousers, maxi skirts, and more, the combinations are indeed endless. A ribbed tank is relatively inexpensive, even with a quality find that provides plenty of wear and durability.
2.Denim Maxi Skirt
As mentioned above, a maxi skirt is a perfect foundation for a fashion-forward casual outfit. Denim maxi skirts, with their nod to the 2000s era, have proven to be a versatile staple that can be dressed up or down depending on your mood and plans for the day. Keep it casual by pairing a denim maxi with sneakers and a simple white top for everyday errands, or elevate the look with a sleek heel, cut-out top, and moto jacket for a more polished, modern take.
3.Straight Leg Denim
When it comes to denim, the straight-leg silhouette has officially cemented its place as a go-to style. Offering a slim, streamlined fit without the look and feel of skinny jeans, this cut pairs perfectly with everything from boots to sneakers. With a range of washes from light blue to indigo, the slim-leg denim is a timeless wardrobe essential that blends comfort and style easily.
4.Statement Jewelry
Minimal jewelry had its moment, but lately, bold accessories have taken center stage. Statement pieces have the power to elevate even the simplest outfits, adding instant personality and polish. If not wearable art, it's stackable jewelry, with the chunkier being the better. If you’re not ready to give up the minimal look, add in a statement necklace layered with minimal chains and hoop earrings to achieve an effortless, cool girl look.
5.Loafers
If you’re a chunky boot lover, loafers are the perfect swap for warm weather. Style with chunky socks when wearing a skirt, or slip into a classic pair with oversized, long-length, low-rise jeans. Loafers have firmly earned their spot as a year-round staple, offering the perfect blend of style, comfort, and versatility.
6.Oversized Sunglasses
Nothing about this year is about blending in or being subtle, which is why designer frames from Loewe, Gucci, and Tom Ford continue to set the standard for bold, statement-making looks when it comes to eyewear. Just like most accessories, frames are bigger and bolder, thanks to classic aviator styles and oversized sunnies with face-shaping silhouettes.
7.Shoulder Bag
There's something about the shoulder bag that continues to captivate the fashion world. It's small yet conveniently fits all necessities with a limitless range of colors, shapes, and patterns to match any look. It’s also the perfect balance between the micro mini and the oversized tote. If looking for a classic designer bag for spring, its size and shape will be worth the investment, as this silhouette will never go out of style.
8.Button-Down Long Sleeve
The button-down long sleeve is one of the most loved closet essentials. The versatility is unmatched, and the price is unbeatable for the amount of wear one can achieve in this staple piece. Worn open, closed, layered underneath a corset, or wrapped around one's waist, there's more than enough reason to benefit from owning a crisp white button-down top. Pair with leggings and heels for a casual chic moment, layered with statement accessories for a classic spring look.
9. Dad Trouser
Trousers are a great option for women who love to stretch the limits of chic workwear. The "Dad Pant" is a classic tailored aesthetic with a high-rise fitted waist and extra-long hem, a length perfect for high heels, sneakers, or chunky sandals. Opting for lightweight fabric is also perfect for year-round temperatures. Wear long trousers with a fitted white top, and an oversized black or beige blazer with pointed-toe heels for a sophisticated look day or night.
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Featured image by Edward Berthelot/Getty Images
Originally published on March 16, 2023