If you've ever dreamed of being a dominatrix , I've got the position for you. I recently discovered a sex position called "The Amazon." This position wasn't even known to me until I saw a video on TikTok by @giltyascharged. Despite being posted in 2020, the video featuring the crying Anthony Anderson meme with the caption, "When she said she wanted to try the new Amazon position, now you can't look at her straight in the eye," somehow made its way onto my feed a lot of time later. Not knowing what it meant, I decided to look it up, and boy, am I glad I did.

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In my opinion, oral sex is the best type of sex . In the words of my favorite female R&B group, “You gotta go downtown, that’s the way to my love...” But if you want to enhance your oral sex experience, you gotta try face-sitting.

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I love getting fingered . Yeah, I said it. I love that shit! There’s this common misconception that fingering is an activity that only teenagers engage in, but I'm here to set the record straight that there are fully grown adults who still like a finger or two in their pussies, too! Fingers are the sex toys we’re born with; why not use them?

How To Finger A Woman: Pleasure Tips For Vulva Owners

Even though every vulva is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all method when it comes to fingering, there is no doubt that fingering can be an extremely important part of sex and foreplay from the standpoint of female pleasure and orgasm. Roughly 80% of women and people with a vulva can't climax just through penetration alone but also require clitoral stimulation. If you know anything about the female anatomy, then you already know that "the clitoris is Queen" when it comes to pleasurable sex for women, and rightfully so.

There are around 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris , more than in a penis, and it is much larger than you think. In most cases, people are only familiar with the head of the clitoris at the top of the vulva. However, the clitoris extends up to five inches inside the body and runs along the sides of the vulva. The clitoris can be stimulated both externally by gently touching or from within by finding the G-spot within the vagina.

The clitoris and the G-spot are among the most well-known pleasure centers for vulva owners.

Therefore, fingering skills are crucial and can drastically improve your sex technique if you have sex with women or anyone with a vulva.

Ultimately, the best way to learn how to finger your partner is to ask them directly what they like, but it doesn't hurt to learn some standard rules of thumb (pun intended). So, I asked my friends on social media for their best fingering techniques, and like always, they didn’t disappoint.

The Best Fingering Techniques: How To Finger Your Girl for an Orgasm

@boobtionary: Cut them nails baby and make sure you wash your hands before and after. Don’t need any unwanted bacteria or cuts in the cat.

@yesmxeden: Hydrated cuticles and no hangnails. Whether you go to the salon or DIY, nail care is key!

@lexijenee: Whatever movement you do, needs to start with gentle fingers on the clitoris to create moisture and then move down to fingering. Don’t stick your fingers in a dry place.

@lyndonyardl: Two fingers and do the “ come hither ” movement towards yourself.

@shoshanasarah: There’s no one size fits all. It’s like playing an instrument. You’ve got to search for the right notes, [and] listen for the music (her sounds and physical reactions). When there’s a melody— stay there, play with tempo, until crescendo.

@illviv: Slowly ease your way from the inner thighs to the labia. Still keeping that touch soft and gentle, make it feel like the elements themselves are slowly strolling her skin. Tease the opening with a flat smooth caress. Watch the juices drip. And when you hear her whimper [and] she is trying too hard to keep her breathing steady, slowly enter two fingers into her well. Dive all the way in, [and] pause for a few seconds. Then slowly pull them out. Continue this and make [the] body melt.

@atmusgrove: The middle finger in with the thumb massaging the clit at the same time hither motion.

@crystaltheoracle: While sucking their nipples . In public. From the back. Massage the whole vulva too. Three fingers on the clit. Make sure you've washed your hands. Put your fingers in their mouth afterward.

@breannakey_: [Finger the vagina ] while eating it!

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Featured image by Dean Mitchell/Getty Images

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