

Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!
A couple of days ago, while reading an article on what science claims are the keys to a happy marriage, a few things, in particular, stood out to me—being best friends, designating housework, not fighting over text, having sex no less than once a week, and making time to celebrate one another's achievements.
As I stopped to think about the issues that come up most with the couples that I work with, not being the best of friends (if they're friends at all…you'd be surprised how many spouses aren't), not making sex a top priority in their relationship and not making the time to celebrate one another, top the list. Come to think of it, a lot of times, these three things actually overlap. (When's the last time you celebrated your partner? When's the last time your partner celebrated you?)
While I'd be the first to say that there are probably all kinds of books, blogs, and seminars that can help spouses to get back on track in these areas, the first thing that I would probably recommend? A sexcation!
I know some of you are probably thinking that I'm made that term up. Hmph, I wish. Actually, if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you'll see links pop up that explain what a sexcation is. And what exactly is it? It's a vacation that you take with your partner for the sole purpose of doing absolutely nothing but have sex (well, maybe eat and shower too but that's really about it). No sightseeing (except each other). No taking in a show (unless it's a private peep show). No buying souvenirs (unless it's lingerie, whipped cream or something else that will make your sexcation better). JUST. SEX.
The reason why a lot of sex experts and marriage counselors alike believe this is such a wise thing to do is because it's a great way to refuel the passion that may be currently lost or even just dormant in your relationship. Whether sex has gotten boring; the kids make it hard to have the spontaneous in-every-room-of-the-house kind of sex that you used to have; you haven't had time to really focus on cultivating intimacy; you haven't been feeling all that satisfied as of late or you've simply looked up and realized that you haven't had sex in a while (more than a month or two qualifies)—you are someone who could definitely use a sexcation.
And just how does one plan for something like this? For starters, since the entire point of taking this kind of vacation is so you can have sex, sex and even more sex, a long weekend is a good amount of time to be away. And while most of us can vouch for hotel sex being hot, even if it's at a place right up the street, it's best to choose a spot that takes the ambiance to a whole 'nother level.
Do I have any suggestions? Of course, I do! There's the historical setting of Gramercy Park Hotel in NYC; the rustic glamping feel of Calistoga Ranch in Napa Valley; the crisp clean layout of the 1 Hotel South Beach in Miami Beach; the oceanfront scenery of the Mauna Lani Bay Hotel & Bungalows in Kohala, Hawaii, or the very-erotic-super-sensual atmosphere of The Saint Hotel in New Orleans (all have fantastic reputations as far as sex is concerned!).
Ohhh…I meant a vacation vacation. Indeed, I did! It's crazy but I know folks who will put eight weeks into planning a dinner party at their house but won't put 10 minutes of thought into how to make their sex lives better. Something is really off about that, wouldn't you say? Especially when you think about the fact that sex is good for your health, the oxytocin that comes from doing it makes you feel closer to your partner, and physical and emotional intimacy are two proven keys to overall longevity. (Don't sleep. According to an AARP survey, well over 35 percent of people over 70 are still gettin' it in on a weekly basis!)
If you just read all of this, rolled your eyes, and thought, "I can think of 15 better things I can do with my time and my money," you are one of the main people who need to sign up for a sexcation—quick, fast, and in a hurry! I recently heard that the active a married couple's sex life is, the more stable their relationship is overall.
Not only that, but if I've said it once, I've said it a billion times over—if you want to see how healthy a marriage is, look into a couple's bedroom.
Whatever is going on (or isn't going on) in there sets the tone for the rest of the rooms of the house. At least 95 percent of the time. Plus, there's tons of data to support that regular travel strengthens relationships too.
So, what if you've got the will but you can't seem to make a financial way? A while back, I wrote about something called a sex jar; it's a cool way to save money (you can read more about it here). Some other travel expense hacks include:
- Some of the best flight fees that I don't hear mentioned a lot are on the site SkipLagged.
- All you're gonna need is underwear (if that), so save on baggage fees by only taking two carry-ons.
- If you use credit cards, see if they will transfer into points at the hotel where you plan on staying.
- If you go during the week instead of on a weekend, you could save as much as 40-50 percent.
- Don't forget to hop on sites like RetailMeNot and Coupons for promo code discounts.
- Ask the front desk if they have any special deals before booking your reservation.
- Room service is nice, but you can save even more money by stopping at a grocery store in the area.
Word on the street is couples who want to go the distance in their relationship should vacation together (without their kids) twice a year. This year, make one of those a sexcation. I have the hardest time believing that it's something you will return back home regretting. How could you? It's a time for nothing but some really hot sex. Have fun!
Featured image by Getty Images.
Related Articles:
What 5 Men Had To Say About Married Sex - Read More
Maintenance Sex Could Be The Key To A Successful Marriage - Read More
Married Couples: These 6 DIY Recipes Will Take Your Sex Life To The Next Level - Read More
- 8 "Kinds of Sex" All Married Couples Should Put Into Rotation - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Married Sex, Types Of Sex In Marriage - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Sexcation - Kindle edition by Heidi McLaughlin. Contemporary ... ›
- Better Sex Life | HuffPost ›
- 20 People Married For 20+ Years Share How They Keep Things Hot ... ›
- Sex Tips For Couples, Long Term Relationships Love Life ›
- Want to Spice Up Your Sex Life? Try a Sexcation! ›
- Sexcation Your Way To A Better Sex Life | HuffPost ›
- 10 Tips To Plan The Perfect Sexcation | POPxo ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Megan Thee Stallion Shares The 'Intense' Workout Routine That’s Got Her Snatched
One thing about Megan Thee Stallion is that she’s going to motivate you to stay active. From afar, she seems like the perfect gym bestie, and up close, it looks like her workouts would have us gasping for air. But hey, she doesn’t call her routines “bootcamp” for nothing.
After an extended break from social media and the public eye, the Houston Hottie is back sharing the high-energy workouts that are keeping her lean and she’s happy to report that “the results have been resulting."
The 28-year-old rapper dropped an Instagram Reel, detailing the workout routine that’s putting her endurance to the test. With the help of her personal trainer, Megan has one word in mind when it comes to her progress and that’s: “Consistency.”
The “Savage” artist has been traveling, making “hot girl moves," and after returning from a trip to New York, she expressed that her trainer is pushing her to keep the same energy back in the gym.
“I had just gotten back from New York and I told my trainer, ‘Look, friend, I was having a time. Can you please take it easy?’” Megan said. “He said, ‘Hmm, I’ve seen you doing all that hot girl s—, so what you need to do is get in that gym and have that same energy.’”
Her trainer then instructed her to do jumping squats with an exercise ball and resistance band around her legs for an extra burn. “I put my thing down, flipped it, and reversed it and that’s what happened. This sh– burned like a motherf—,” she teased in the video’s voiceover while executing both forward and backward jumping squats.
It’s clear that when it comes to Megan’s fitness, her trainer doesn’t play around about pushing her to her limits. In the next set of her cardio moves, we see the Grammy-winning artist jumping rope and moving on to a combination of mountain climbers and lateral jumps over a speed hurdle.
“Right here, that’s when I realized: I’ve been saying my trainer’s crazy but I know he’s really, really crazy because he must think that I’m trying out for the Houston Texans or something,” she joked.
To finish her workout, Meg hit two more barbell exercises, one being a set of cleans with 10-pound weight plates on the barbell. She then closed out by doing lunges with the barbell racked on her shoulders.
Of course, the best way to close out a workout is to nourish yourself with a balanced meal. Meg showed off her delicious post-workout plate with salmon, a sweet potato, and assorted veggies.
With so much of her public life being shared on the internet, it’s nice to see her letting us in on her progress in a fun and motivating way. “I just want to be transparent with y'all. Working out hurts, but it’s really a mental thang, so go do it!”
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images