9 Erotic Bucket List Adventures That Aren't Sex
Getty Images

9 Erotic Bucket List Adventures That Aren't Sex

Sex sells and that's on Little Bo Peep.

Life & Travel

Sex sells! That’s on Little Bo Peep, Mary and her little lamb, and whoever else. We see it all over the television and even outside of it. These days, novelty experiences are on the rise and are no longer reserved for bachelor and bachelorette parties! Folks can enjoy erotic outings and ideas any time, any place. And social media is making it easier than ever to sell these products and experiences in new and intriguing ways. Seriously, do phallic- and p*ssy-shaped desserts not make for Instagram-worthy content?

Is it not aesthetically eye-catching to add those things to our Instagram Stories and feeds? It’s very similar to the popularization of selfie museums, in my opinion. They were popular by themselves but because of the new influencer agenda on social media – everyone can be someone – it makes specific experiences appear to be richer. Leave it to someone like myself, a sexuality enthusiast, if you will – the person whose friends send all the raunchy, wild content to because in their mind there’s no limit – to find a good sex novelty experience.

My documentation of my trip to New York’s Museum of Sex was followed by my TikTok algorithm recommending a bakery in NYC that sells vulva pastries. It made me wonder how many other fun places like these existed in the world. Though there are many, I compiled a list of 9 novelty sex experiences that would make the teenaged version of you that used to frequent Spencer's blush.

New York, New York

Black-owned and specializing in tasty goodies that are as sweet as they are sexy, Kinky’s Dessert Bar comes in at the top of the list! This adorable little pink shop is vibrant and fun-looking with a name to match it – who wouldn’t want to stop by? Alas, those under 18 aren’t allowed inside, and for good reason. However, if you are old enough to ride this ride, don’t leave feeling teased – try one of their explicit waffles, cupcakes, or cookies.

Dallas, Texas

Booze and Nudes used to be a whole movement that began in Atlanta, however, it seems the OG promoters stopped doing this event. It garnered so much traction in ATL that they took this act on the road (trust me, I know). I’ve been pressed to find another one ever since but only recently found this new one based in Dallas. By far one of the most fun girls' night out experiences I had – dick swinging and all – it was like a less intense strip club (which is welcomed) combined with a sip and paint. The dates here are limited, so try it out while tickets last.

New York, New York

This museum covers a wide variety of sexuality-related topics rather than finding any one niche. And, the Museum of Sex also doubles as a novelty store as well making for a one-stop-shop. My favorite part about this museum is they switch out their funtivity every now and then, at one point there was a booby bounce house. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they will run it back!

Toronto, Canada

If you’re a U.S. resident looking for an excuse outside of Carabana to visit Toronto, here it goes! Similar to Kinky’s Dessert Bar, Members Only brings all the boys and girls to the yard with their phallic-shaped waffles. However, they have also expanded into making other NSFW treats, most notably ones featuring female genitalia, because balance.

San Francisco, California

I would love to make a trip to visit the Antique Vibrator Museum, as masturbation via sex toys is one of my favorite topics. This museum is run by Good Vibrations and in all fairness, it’s just one small room so it’s probably best to plan this trip around other things to do if you are ever in San Fran. However, it’s still worth visiting to be able to see up close and personal the transition of vibrators along with the sexist history that they harbor.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Though the Naked Bike Ride occurs in multiple cities and countries, I first discovered this event living in Philadelphia. As much as I love riding bikes and being naked, I’ll be the first to admit this isn’t my forte as a combined act. Bike seats are already so comfortable so just imagine. Nevertheless, I’ve heard it’s nothing less than an experience. Plus, the purpose is to advocate for body positivity and eco-efficient options, and who doesn’t like nudity for a good cause?

Chicago, Illinois

Leather Archives and Museum is committed to highlighting the leather, kink, fetish, and BDSM history through their exhibits. Not only is this a fun stop to make if you’re ever in the Chicago area, but it also brings better understanding to a community that is often misunderstood.

Amsterdam, Netherlands

In addition to its architecture and canals, Amsterdam is most known for its liberal attitude towards sex and drugs. Their wild nightlife scene points to them being a city that is forever young, wild, and free. But specific to sex, they are known for legalized sex work which occurs in the Red Light District. Red Light Secrets in particular talks about the history of sex work which I think is great considering how stigmatized it is, despite the whole sex sells bit. But, the most fun part about this experience is that it’s located in an old brothel!

Seattle, Washington

This is a multimedia art festival showcasing the erotic via visual arts, performance, film, and literary art. Though the time to attend for 2022 has come and gone, the festival has already released dates for 2023. If all goes well with the world, you can expect to attend on April 21-23. This event has a minimum age of 21, so be sure to leave the kiddos behind for this sweet getaway.

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Featured image by Getty Images

The Evolution Of Serena Williams

It is like witnessing magic when you watch an athlete do what they do best. To see a mere human soar in the air over to the other side of a bar or to witness someone run at a speed quicker than a human thought. A basketball player defying gravity just to get a ball into a hoop. A ballerina turning their body into a top, spinning and spinning without fatigue.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Lori Harvey On Dating With A Purpose & Not Compromising Her Peace For Anyone

Lori Harvey’s dating life has consistently been a hot topic on social media and now the model is shedding light on some of her dating do’s and don’ts. In an episode of Bumble’s new “Luv2SeeIt” content series, the SKN by LH founder sat down with the series' director, producer, and host Teyana Taylor and disclosed some quote-worthy thoughts on dating and relationships.

Keep reading...Show less
Black Women, We Deserve More

When the NYT posted an article this week about the recent marriage of a Black woman VP of a multi-billion-dollar company and a Black man who took her on a first date at the parking lot of a Popeyes, the reaction on social media was swift and polarizing. The two met on Hinge and had their parking lot rendezvous after he’d canceled their first two dates. When the groom posted a photo from their wedding on social media, he bragged about how he never had “pressure” to take her on “any fancy dates or expensive restaurants.”

It’s worth reading on your own to get the full breadth of all the foolery that transpired. But the Twitter discourse it inspired on what could lead a successful Black woman to accept lower than bare minimum in pursuit of a relationship and marriage, made me think of the years of messaging that Black women receive about how our standards are too high and what we have to “bring to the table” in order to be "worthy" of what society has deemed is the ultimate showing of our worth: a marriage to a man.

That's right, the first pandemic I lived through was not Covid, but the pandemic of the Black male relationship expert. I was young – thirteen to be exact – when Steve Harvey published his best-selling book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Though he was still just a stand-up comedian, oversized suit hoarder, and man on his third marriage at the time, his relationship advice was taken as the gospel truth.

The 2000s were a particularly bleak time to be a single Black woman. Much of the messaging –created by men – that surrounded Black women at the time blamed their desire for a successful career and for a partner that matched their drive and ambition for the lack of romance in their life. Statistics about Black women’s marriageability were always wielded against Black women as evidence of our lack of desirability.

It’s no wonder then that a man that donned a box cut well into the 2000s was able to convince women across the nation to not have sex for the first three months of a relationship. Or that a slew of other Black men had their go at telling Black women that they’re not good enough and why their book, seminar, or show will be the thing that makes them worthy of a Good Man™.

This is how we end up marrying men who cancel twice before taking us on a “date” in the Popeyes parking lot, or husbands writing social media posts about how their Black wife is not “the most beautiful” or “the most intelligent” or the latest season of trauma dumping known as Black Love on OWN.

Now that I’ve reached my late twenties, many things about how Black women approach dating and relationships have changed and many things have remained the same. For many Black women, the idea of chronic singleness is not the threat that it used to be. Wanting romance doesn’t exist in a way that threatens to undermine the other relationships we have with our friends, family, and ourselves as it once did, or at least once was presented to us. There is a version of life many of us are embracing where a man not wanting us, is not the end of what could still be fruitful and vibrant life.

There are still Black women out there however who have yet to unlearn the toxic ideals that have been projected onto us about our worthiness in relation to our intimate lives. I see it all the time online. The absolute humiliation and disrespect some Black women are willing to stomach in the name of being partnered. The hoops that some Black women are willing to jump through just to receive whatever lies beneath the bare minimum.

It's worth remembering that there are different forces at play that gather to make Black women feast off the scraps we are given. A world saturated by colorism, fatphobia, anti-Blackness, ableism, and classism will always punish Black women who demand more for themselves. Dismantling these systems also means divesting from any and everything that makes us question our worth.

Because truth be told, Black women are more than worthy of having a love that is built on mutual respect and admiration. A love that is honey sweet and radiates a light that rivals the sun. A love that is a steadying calming force that doesn’t bring confusion or anxiety. Black women deserve a love that is worthy of the prize that we are.

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Featured image: Getty Images

Tisha Campbell Opens Up About Finding Herself Again After Divorce

Tisha Campbell has a new show on Netflix called Uncoupled which stars Neil Patrick Harris as his character learns to rebuild his life after a breakup with his long-term partner. While Tisha’s character may not be going through a breakup, the veteran actress has had a similar experience in real life. The Martin star divorced the L.A.’s Finest star Duane Martin after 22 years of marriage and 27 years together in total. Soon after the divorce was finalized, Tisha claimed that Duane left her with $7 to her name but now she is in the restoration phase of her life.

Keep reading...Show less
Honey & Spice Author Bolu Babalola’s Hopeful Romance
Some may see romantic comedies and dramas as a guilty pleasure. But author Bolu Babalola indulges in the genre with no apology.
Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Former Beyoncé Dancer Deja Riley On Changing Her Career For Her Mental Health

Former Beyoncé Dancer Deja Riley On Changing Her Career For Her Mental Health

"I felt like I was not enough. And my mental health is important. So when I started feeling that way, I knew that it was time to shift."

Latest Posts