Will Smith On Freedom In Marriage With Jada & Why Their Relationship "Can't Be A Prison"
When I think about Will Smith's career, I'm kind of at a loss for words. I mean, he starred in major movies like Bad Boys, Independence Day, and Men in Black. Then, gave us motivational art through Ali, Pursuit of Happyness and I Am Legend. Not to mention, as a master of his life and career, he turned down roles Django Unchained and The Matrix, two major successes. Can you imagine having a career that successful? Where you can define the bags you need versus what bags need you? And as time progresses, the 53-year-old only continues to adapt and flourish. During the production of Apple TV's Emancipation, Smith had a beautiful conversation with GQ to discuss the film and his upcoming memoir, Will.
Emancipation is different from typical projects we've seen him in since he's always seemed to stay away from films discussing slavery. He told GQ:
"I didn't want to show Black people in that light. I wanted to be a superhero. So I wanted to depict Black excellence alongside my white counterparts... This [Emancipation] was one that was about love and the power of Black love. That was something that I could rock with. We were going to make a story about how Black love makes us invincible."
The big screen isn't the only place we'll be seeing something new from the King Richard star. His memoir, which will be released in November, reveals a different version of himself.
"I just really wanted to totally destroy the clinging to 'Will Smith, I'm trying to separate the image of Will Smith from who I actually am."
During the interview, Smith explained how his struggle with perfection and need "to be the biggest movie star in the world" fueled his career success but stifled his personal relationships and caused contention in his marriage. For example, he details how Jada never wanted a traditional wedding but he pressured her until she gave in. He admits:
"This would be the first of many compromises Jada would make over the years that painfully negated her own values."
His relationship wasn't the only strained area in his life. His need to please people and be the character of himself that he had created, was emotionally harming him. In a draft of his book he writes, "Will Smith,' the alien annihilating M.C., the bigger-than-life movie star, is largely a construction—a carefully crafted and honed character—designed to protect myself."
At nine years old, Will Smith saw his father aggressively punch his mother in the side of her head. He recalls his brother trying to fight back and his sister running away to hide. However, he was frozen in fear. And that moment in some part changed the trajectory of his life. For years after, he felt the need to people-please, to make sure that others around him were entertained so they wouldn't respond negatively or violently.
He also felt by making his mother proud, he was somehow apologizing for the day he couldn't stand up for her. Smith admits that he would never have been able to share this truth when his father was alive and has a great deal of affection for him.
"He was one of the greatest blessings of my life, and also one of my greatest sources of pain."
Many of his values about loyalty and ambition come from his father. These emotions stuck with him for decades even as his career soared. It wasn't until his 50's when he went on an emotional journey that his mindset started to shift.
Smith spent time in solitude traveling to Utah, visited Peru for ayahuasca rituals, and even met with an intimacy coach where he confessed that he'd be very happy leading a harem.
"The idea of traveling with 20 women that I loved and took care of and all of that, it seemed like a really great idea."
He even name-dropped a few women who he'd like to be a part of it, such as Misty Copeland and Halle Berry. Although after healthy conversations with the coach, he realized that probably wouldn't work. "After we played it out a little bit, I was like, 'That would be horrific.'"
Speaking of women, we'd be remiss if we didn't discuss his beautiful wife Jada Pinkett Smith and the highs and lows of their relationship. After a viral episode of Red Table Talk, where the couple discussed Jada's infidelity, many were curious about where the couple currently stands. And while he admits major struggles in the past, it seems like the two are in a happy place now. He tells GQ:
"We have given each other trust and freedom, with the belief that everybody has to find their own way. And marriage for us can't be a prison. And I don't suggest our road for anybody. (He repeats) I don't suggest this road for anybody. But the experiences that the freedoms that we've given one another and the unconditional support, to me, is the highest definition of love."
Today, Will is embracing a whole new mindset by embracing social media. Because as we know, being perfect is kinda boring online. His freedom of authenticity and truth in his creative endeavors and relationship has him feeling a new level of freedom and happiness:
"The pursuit of truth is the only way to be happy in this lifetime."
Will is now available for pre-order worldwide. Read the full cover story on GQ here.
Featured image by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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6 Spring Events To Boost Your Professional And Social Networks
When spring arrives, we all want to be outside, looking fabulous, and back to socializing. And now is the perfect time to add a few great events to your calendar to get you through the quarter in order to make new friends, build new partnerships, and talk new opportunities to level up.
Spring is a high season for networking and social events for Black women, with many organizations and event entrepreneurs booking prime locations and offering dynamic experiences that you can maximize in whatever way possible. Write down your goals, and get out there. Start with a few of these events between now and the start of summer:
New Orleans Jazz And Heritage Festival, April 23 - May 3
The New Orleans Jazz And Heritage Festival is a 10-day event held over two weekends, bringing together thousands of musicians, craftspeople, and food lovers to share in common threads of culture in the heart of New Orleans. You'll get to enjoy works by artisans local to Louisiana as well as from across the U.S. and around the world.
Black Food Truck Festival, April 26-28
Hosted in Charleston, S.C., the Black Food Truck Festival includes an opening party, access to more than two dozen food truck vendors, and a time to workout with other attendees. Charleston has long been known as a Southern foodie destination, with global recognition due to James Beard-awarded chefs heading popular restaurants there and a renewed focus on Gullah and Geechee culture and food in the region. And what better conversation ice-breaker than to talk about food with a new acquaintance?
Black Women's Mental Health Conference, May 4
Hosted by New York University, this is a one-day event to tackle issues of mental wellness and health that uniquely affect Black women and girls. The keynote speaker for this year is Kim Young, MSW, LCSW, founder of Dope Black Social Worker® and host of the podcast Revolutionary Hoodrat, and leading licensed professionals in the field will offer their insights and share their experiences. And, of course, no college-led event is without time blocked specifically for networking.
Strength of a Woman Festival, May 11-12
Anything with Mary J. Blige headlining or leading is a win, especially if we're talking about women's empowerment and enjoyment. This event will be held in New York City, and beyond the performances from some of our favorites like Muni Long, Jill Scott, and The Clark Sisters, there will be a Gospel Brunch. And even if you're not able to attend or concerts aren't your thing, just being in the city during that time will mean you're bound to run into plenty of other women to network with at local bars and restaurants nearby.
Carefree Black Girl Cookout, May 4
Held in the Queen City, Charlotte, N.C., this is a day festival amplifying the voices and brands of Black women entrepreneurs, artists, and creatives. There will be vendors, glam and beauty bars, and complimentary meals for the first hour (according to the platform's website). They're hosting another cookout in Philadelphia on May 25.
Black Women Leading Live, May 13-16
Touted as an “intimate retreat + conference,” this Virginia Beach, VA event will be held on a resort and is offering a professional development experience led by Laura Knights, founder of the Black Woman Leading® program and podcast. It’s an ideal fit if you’re a mid-level or senior professional, as the topics and approach are set to cater to those levels of career experience, with coaches and speakers pouring into attendees with a holistic approach.
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Featured image by PIKSEL/Getty Images
