You don't always have to wear a cape to be a superhero - and Anjelika Washington is proof of just that. Though she plays Elizabeth "Beth" Chapel on CW's Stargirl, Anjelika uses her platform to advocate for Black girls and our younger generation and ensure justice on all fronts. With powerful Black women such as Angela Rye, Keisha Lance Bottoms, Eboni K. Williams, Ilhan Omar, Stacey Abrams, and Kamala Harris on the front lines of politics, Anjelika Washington is a powerful role model for those inside and outside of the entertainment and television industries.
On a hectic Thursday evening, I had the chance to catch up with the real-life superhero herself over the phone about saving the world on and off-screen through her human rights activism, how she became interested in acting after failing an arts elective, and the Black female vote in the forthcoming election. Anjelika and her energy were just the spark my day needed.
Drea Nicole
After exchanging mental health check-ins with one another, she revealed to me that she was in her hometown taking a week off from the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles before returning to Atlanta to film the second season of Stargirl. Though the CW hit series only premiered this year, Stargirl has quickly become one of the DC Universe's most sought-after television programming series. "To be completely honest, when I auditioned for Stargirl, I did not know that I was auditioning to be a superhero. I just thought I was going to be a friend of a superhero," Anjelika admitted.
Because the casting agency had given the auditions specific code names, the character breakdown did not mention anything about a superhero, a superpower or any super suiting up. Though she had an inkling as to where the show was going because of DC Universe legend Geoff John's involvement, who was the co-writer of Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) and Aquaman (2018), she had no idea what she was in for - a life-changing on-screen journey. The day before her screentest, she found out that she was auditioning for Dr. Mid-Nite, Beth Chapel's alter ego, and she was no less than shocked.
"I felt equally obligated to be honest with Beth Chapel's story as my version, as I did the responsibility of playing a Black superhero on TV because I knew I didn't have that growing up," Anjelika said.
As a working Black actress in Hollywood, many will manifest and visualize their dream role, but the feeling of watching your visualization come to life is a feeling like "wow," as she described it. In the midst of the worldwide Black Lives Matter movement, the arrival of Dr. Mid-Nite on DC's Stargirl and watching a Black woman suit up to save the world is no less than perfect timing.
"I don't take it lightly [and] I think I'm very aware that representation matters. It's heavy on me right now, especially with the tragic news that crushed my spirit of no justice for Breonna Taylor. I get to be a superhero on a show that fights for justice," Anjelika noted.
As she continued to express her gratitude for being one of the newest additions to the fictional Justice Society of America as a superhero in her own right, the actress suddenly became speechless and began to trip over her own words. "I'm trying to find the words, but I guess I just feel a very big responsibility to be as honest in my real life and honest in my work - more now than ever," she told me.
"I don't take it lightly [and] I think I'm very aware that representation matters. It's heavy on me right now, especially with the tragic news that crushed my spirit of no justice for Breonna Taylor. I get to be a superhero on a show that fights for justice. I'm trying to find the words, but I guess I just feel a very big responsibility to be as honest in my real life and honest in my work - more now than ever."
With Black women such as Halle Berry and Alexandra Shipp as Storm in the X-Men franchises, Emmy Raver-Lampman as The Rumor in Netflix's Umbrella Academy, and Nafessa Williams as Thunder in CW's other hit show Black Lightning, Anjelika believes while there has been some improvement in representation in the superhero universe, there's still work to be done.
"Batwoman is a great start. When I look at Batwoman and I look at that cast, that's what all shows should look like because that's what the world looks like. My world looks like the cast of Batwoman," she said referring to the Javicia Leslie-starring CW series having a diverse cast of white, Black, Asian and Latino actors. "I don't think it's just about Black people having representation. We say representation matters because Asian girls need to see Asian girls on TV; Latina girls need to see Latina girls on TV; Indigenous girls need to see Indigenous girls on TV. Everybody needs to be represented and at this point, I'm just in the fight to hold the entertainment industry accountable and ensure that we make a world that looks like the real world."
Unfortunately, the real world is up in arms as we speak as we prepare to (hopefully) elect a new president into office and Black lives are still at risk every day we're alive. Luckily, Anjelika has no issue using her platform for the greater good of human rights activism and wants to use her celebrity as a means to uplift voices in marginalized communities. "If I'm going to be blessed by God to have any type of platform, I need to be using it for good because it does nothing in the world to sit idly by, watch all of these awful things happen, and say nothing. If I want change to happen in the world, I'm gonna have to be the change," she said.
"If I'm going to be blessed by God to have any type of platform, I need to be using it for good because it does nothing in the world to sit idly by, watch all of these awful things happen, and say nothing. If I want change to happen in the world, I'm gonna have to be the change."
Anjelika holds herself just as responsible as her peers and elected officials to create call-to-action items including encouragement for voter registration or even as seemingly small as signing a petition. "If I believe that holding our officials and people that we elect into office accountable, I need to hold myself accountable and hold my community accountable."
With the election coming up in less than 30 days and the raised stakes of the Black community, Anjelika knows what time it is for the Black community, especially Black women.
Drea Nicole
"The Black female vote is always important and we're usually always right. I love that about us," she said and added that her brother even encourages people to vote for whoever Black women are voting for. "He's right because we usually are. You look at the numbers and Black women didn't vote in Trump! We didn't do that! We knew ahead of time that this was going to be a very bad idea."
Moreover, she recognizes that Black youth vote just as, if not, the most important element of the upcoming election. Anjelika works tirelessly to engage the Black Generation-Z and millennial vote and urge the crucial note of their involvement. "When you look at what Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are committed to doing for Black people, once you actually break it down and go to JoeBiden.com to read his plans for Black people in America, I don't think that any Black person is going to disagree," the actress said endorsing the Democratic presidential candidate's Lift Every Voice plan.
Though she understands the community's anguish about Kamala Harris' past as a prosecutor, Anjelika finds it hard to argue that what Trump has done to this country is not worse than anything on Biden or Harris' resume. "I am willing to risk it all and take my bet on Joe Biden and Kamala Harris any day [rather] than stick with what we have. Think about the last four months of just this year during the summer of 2020 and imagine that being the next four years - are you OK with that?"
With the obvious answer being "no" due to the economic, public health, social justice and climate crises impacting our day-to-day lives, Anjelika encourages everyone, especially the Black community, to get out and vote for Biden and Harris. "Black people assume that their vote doesn't matter because we look at Breonna Taylor as an example and we see no justice. We see that we don't matter, but the truth is the people who made those decisions, we vote in."
When we all vote, we facilitate the change we wish to see. Anjelika's unapologetic stance is a reminder of the superpower we have in us all.
For more of Anjelika, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image by Drea Nicole
RELATED
Being a bridesmaid. In some ways, I don’t know if there’s a tighter line to walk than being happy for a friend who has found her bae for life while you’re trying to figure out if and when your own time will come.
Well, since June, September and October (which are all steadily on their way) continue to be the most popular months for jumping the broom — if you are a lot like Corina (Javicia’s character in the movie) and you’re wondering if you’re gonna be purchasing bridesmaids dresses for others without a wedding gown for yourself for the rest of your life, here are a few things that I certainly hope you will keep in mind — things that I hope will cause you to see being a bridesmaid in the best light possible.
1. Bridesmaids Are “Marriage Cheerleaders.” That’s a Dope Thing.
GiphyIf you’re in a relationship that looks like it’s headed towards marriage, please check out “Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry.'” As a marriage life coach, a marriage registry is actually something that I recommend engaged couples to have because it’s all about cultivating a support team for various areas of your marriage — and y’all, that’s basically what bridesmaids are. They’re not just a group of women who look cute in a dress at a wedding; they are individuals who have agreed to stand by a bride’s side as she shifts into becoming a wife.
Hmph. Don’t get me started on why, when it comes to selecting bridesmaids, it really shouldn’t be about your history with them so much as the relationship that they have with you and your soon-to-be husband in the present because, if they can’t have your marriage’s back, they really should be in the audience (if they are there at all).
For now, in order to stay on topic, I’ll just say that the best way to look at the role of a bridesmaid is to compare them to a cheerleader. Cheerleaders are individuals who are there to encourage teams in an enthusiastic and optimistic kind of way. And honestly, when someone you care about asks you to serve in this capacity on their wedding day, it’s an honor because they trust that you are happy for them, that you are in agreement with their decision and that you will keep them inspired and motivated well beyond the day that they say, “I do.”
And people who are in this type of head and heart space for someone else? How could good karma not come their way? Because when you know how to be thrilled for other people’s blessings, the universe finds a way of rewarding you for your selflessness.
Let’s keep going.
2. Weddings Ain’t Marriages. Marriages Ain’t Weddings. A Bride and Wife Are Not (Exactly) the Same.
GiphyHow many times have I said, somewhere, that while big expensive weddings ain’t personally my thing, if that’s what folks want to do, I certainly ain’t gonna knock it because, once the wedding day is over, that’s when the real work — which I prefer to see as maintenance (check out “Relationships Shouldn't Be 'Hard Work.' They Should Be Maintenance.”) — truly begins. Sadly, when it comes to this, some folks don’t have a clue.
Whew, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told a woman that a bride is a bride for a day — a wife, though? That’s a whole ‘nother set of responsibilities entirely (which I will elaborate on in just a sec).
My point here? If you’re someone who has a collection of bridesmaid dresses in your closet and the question, “When is it going to be my turn?” is getting louder and louder in your head with every ceremony that you participate in — remember that what you are witnessing is an elaborate party that deserves to be a little over the top. After all, it’s a celebration of the decision that two people made to spend the rest of their lives together.
At the same time, though, never forget that the wedding day itself only lasts for a few hours and, once the festivities are over and they come back from their honeymoon, real life sets in. This means that what you need to really ask yourself is 1) are you caught up in the hype of the wedding, and 2) have you really thought about what is required to make a marriage work — and last. Because chile, although (and thankfully) most of the wives in my space do not regret getting married (check out “What Should You Do If You Feel Like You Married The Wrong Person?”), what easily 80 percent of them have told me is that they seriously underestimated what the day-to-day of marriage entails.
To further drive this point home, I actually asked five wives to share with me what they think is the difference between being a bride and being a wife.
Wife #1:“It’s selfish to think that your wedding day should be all about you and not your groom — but let’s be real: guys don’t really care about that stuff, and so a lot of the focus is on you, as the bride. If you think that’s what marriage is about, it can make you entitled and selfish. Then, when it’s all over and it’s time to be a wife, you will think that you still should be served all of the time without doing much work. You have to do daily work — every day of your life.”
Wife #2:“If I could do it over, I would have cut back on the wedding planner and put more money into longer premarital counseling because two one-hour sessions ain’t gonna cut it. Brides are hyper-focused on one day without really thinking about what follows. You need some therapy to get your mind right, because when I tell you that marriage will throw you all the way off if you’re not prepared? You have no idea.”
Wife #3:“I have single friends who say that they think they are missing out because they aren’t married. I love my husband and wouldn’t change a thing, but single people are crazy to think that there aren’t some perks to being single. Don’t let that big dress and diamond fool you. If you’re a good wife, you’ve earned them and you will have days and nights when you miss not being single anymore.”
Wife #4:“Being a bride is a fantasy. Being a wife is reality. I don’t have a better way to put it because who dresses up, gets gifts, and dances every single day? As a wife, what you do do every day is compromise, negotiate, and get challenged to become a better person. If you’re not ready for that, keep hanging out on rooftop bars with your single friends. I’m dead serious.”
Wife #5:“A bride is someone who lets the world know that she wants to be a wife. A wife is someone who puts that intent into action. The thing about a bride is she’s that for one day, but a wife has to keep showing up every day of her life for the rest of her life. It’s rewarding, but it takes more out of you than people think. People who envy wedding days usually want the attention, not the commitment.”
This comes from people who have lived it. So yeah, if you’re someone who fantasizes of becoming a wife one day, make sure that you ask yourself if you’re merging bride and wife together without really thinking about the sacrifices that wives make — because, as you can see, there are many, chile.
3. Every Relational Status Has Pros…and Concessions
GiphyI’m pretty sure you’ve heard someone say that you shouldn’t get too invested in the relationship goals that you see on social media. The main reason why is because most IG posts show you the good times without also sharing the blood, sweat, and tears that were required to make those times possible. Hmph. Not to mention the fact that every single relational status has its own pros and extreme compromises — and when it comes to compromising, when you’re married, because two people are involved, that is definitely the case.
I mean, as a single person, just think about it — you can take a trip without running it by someone else; you can spend money without consulting another person; you can make both little and large decisions without seeing how someone else feels about it; you can move without worrying about how it will directly affect another individual; you don’t have to divide your personal time unless you absolutely want to; there aren’t people who you have to be around, simply to make another person happy, and you don’t have to “meet in the middle” when it comes to certain values, goals or even traditions.
Listen, back when I wrote articles like, “10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word 'Single'” and “10 Bona Fide Benefits Of Being Single,” I did it to remind as many people as I possibly can that as a marriage life coach, I will be the first to say that a healthy marriage is all kinds of awesome; HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean that being single ain’t super bomb too.
It’s all in how you choose to look at things. How are you?
4. Envy Is Love’s Enemy (Across the Board)
GiphyAlthough there’s no solid data on the percentage of bridesmaids who are jealous or envious of the bride on her big day, trust and believe that there is plenty of content out in cyberspace that addresses it. One forum that I checked out talked about a bride who had to deal with a bridesmaid who told her that she was jealous about not being selected to be the maid of honor.
An article featured the story of three friends (who honestly seemed low-key toxic prior to the wedding) who refused to be happy for the bride during her four-day wedding event. Another forum talked about a sister who was so consumed with wanting to be engaged that she was flippantly dismissive about her sister’s upcoming nuptials.
Ugh. Ugh to all of this because, although it’s understandable that you may want something that someone else has (we all do sometimes, if we’re gonna be completely real about it), one of the ugliest things about jealousy (the fear of losing what you have) and envy (being caught up in what someone else has) is they cause you to put all of the focus on you…even when it is completely the wrong place and wrong time to do so.
Since a single person doesn’t have a husband, what I am going to focus on (most) for this point is envy; especially since even the Good Book tells us that love doesn’t do that (I Corinthians 13:4).
Symptoms of being an envious person?
- You either don’t know how to or refuse to celebrate others
- You’re hypercritical of other people’s choices or decisions
- You spread false information in order to cause discord or confusion about other folks
- You give disingenuous or backhanded compliments
- You try to downplay the goodness and success of other people
All of this is pretty ugly, right? Hmph, no wonder the Bible says that envy can’t be present wherever love is. All of this actually reminds me of a quote that says something along the lines of “Envy is counting someone else’s blessings more than your own.” It also reminds me of a 10th Commandment (Exodus 20:17) which tells us not to covet, which not only means “to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others,” it also means “to wish for, especially eagerly.”
What’s a trip about coveting is that while it can mean that you want someone else’s groom (please don’t), it can also mean that you are so eager that you end up making reckless decisions, all because you envy what someone else has, in general. Listen, I’ve had a wife say to me before that the loneliest night in bed as a single woman beats a bad marriage any day. Again, as someone who has worked with married couples for well over 20 years at this point, I couldn’t agree more.
Don’t envy. It gets you absolutely nowhere…good.
5. Everyone’s Love Story Is Unique. Do Not Compare.
GiphyThere’s a Black-owned T-shirt and sweatshirt company called Lake + Prosper that features two tees that I think amplify my final point exquisitely well. One says, “My goal is to outdo me, not y’all,” and the other says, “own lane. own race. own pace.” At the end of the day, what both of these remind us all to do is not compare ourselves to others — this includes when it comes to our love story.
See, what else you’ve also got to keep in mind is when it comes to each person’s romantic relationship journey, there are SO MANY FACTORS that come into play — including timing. And timing is something that you really don’t have any control over (other than making sure that you do what you know needs to be done). And that’s why comparing the brides whose weddings you’ve been in to your own situation is, well, it reminds me of a quote on comparing by Iyanla Vanzant that I like a lot: “Comparison is an act of violence against the self.”
She ain’t lyin’ either because many mental health experts are quick to say that comparing yourself to other people is not only counterproductive but basically futile because it evokes negativity, causes you to feel inadequate, can make you want to beat yourself up, triggers feelings of resentment and it can make you put unrealistic pressure and expectations on yourself.
And gee—how is that good for your relationship with your soon-to-be married friends, how does that improve your relationship with your own self and also, how does that prepare you for the relationship that you will have with the love of your life…when everything that is necessary aligns and says that the time is right? IT. DOESN’T.
In an article that I once read on comparing, the author said something that is oh so very right: “By comparing ourselves to others we’re negating our own road and demanding that the past be different than what it was. The demands we place on ourselves to be like those we’re comparing ourselves may sometimes be motivations for change, however they are more likely to lead to feelings of diminished self-worth.”
Bottom line, as tempting as it may be sometimes, comparing works against you, not for you. Choose to celebrate, not compare.
____
Listen, being sick and tired of always being on the side of the bride instead of being beside your own groom can be human sometimes. I won’t take that away from you. Just make sure that you choose to keep certain facts in perspective: that just because it’s not your turn, that doesn’t mean your time isn’t coming; that negative feelings keep you further from what you desire, and that every person you care about who gets married before you deserves all of the love, encouragement and joy from you that they should reciprocate when your time comes. Stay positive. It’s good karma.
That said, instead of hating the thought of wearing another bridesmaid dress, determine to be fly as ever.
It’s one day closer to what you ultimately desire for yourself.
And a reminder that it can happen.
When and how it should.
Amen? Amen.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured by Shutterstock