The Reason Jada Pinkett-Smith Never Saw Herself Being Married To Will
The first season of Red Table Talk was a tough act to follow, but Jada's squad just upped the ante with the release of their latest episode, which for the first time features her husband of 20 years, Will Smith, and promises to answer every question we've ever had about their previously private marriage life.
Will and Jada were joined by her two co-hosts, her mom, Adrienne, and daughter, Willow, and discussed how the two ultimately became "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". The couple dropped a ton of bombs during the discussion, including but not limited to how they met. She even revealed that she once went on a date with his Fresh Prince of Bel-Air co-star, Alfonso Ribeiro.
Adrienne Banfield-Norris, Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith and Willow SmithStan Evans/Red Table Talk
Will revealed that he was captivated by Jada after seeing her on A Different World and subsequently went on set to meet her. Upon his arrival, another beautiful woman caught his eye and would one day become his wife and the mother of his oldest son, Trey.
"The dude that was gone introduce me to Jada was with another girl and I was like who is that? And it was Sheree. I went to 'A Different World' to meet Jada and met Sheree and ended up marrying Sheree and having Trey."
It wasn't until years later when Jada and Will reconnected by way of a mutual friend that they would ever have a real one-on-one conversation, but at this point, Will was already married and did not believe in divorce. The night after he and Jada spoke, Will shared that he found himself crying in a bathroom stall because he knew that he had met the woman he was supposed to be with. Still, he remained faithful until Sheree until she filed for divorce.
"She hit me hard. Sheree filed for divorce on Valentine's Day. I was like ouch. And I still told her, no. You can't have a divorce. And she hit me with the, 'So you're gonna make somebody stay with you who doesn't love you?' And I was like nope, I'm not, I'm actually not. And I was like that was the one that got me. And I remember I was like, I'm going to sign the divorce papers."
That day, he walked to his car and called Jada, who had just bought a house in Baltimore, to come to L.A. for them to be together and she never spent a night in her new house. When she agreed, things moved quickly and they spent most of their time together. After two years of dating, Jada found out that she was pregnant.
Although the actress says that her children are her biggest blessings, at the time, those blessings were definitely disguised. In the episode, the couple said that the young mother knew she was pregnant almost immediately after conception and cried the entire night.
Jada revealed that when her mother found out that she was pregnant, marriage was mandatory and this was a concept that she fought until the end.
"I was like my life is never going to be the same. I was like what am I gonna do now? I really didn't want to get married... It was almost as if, Gammy was like you had to get married. Like, we have to talk about the wedding. I was under so much pressure being a young actress. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I just knew I never wanted to be married."
"I didn't want a wedding either. I just wanted it to be the two of us on a mountain like this is serious business."
On her wedding day, Jada was three months pregnant and sick to her stomach, both figuratively and literally. She even recalled walking down the aisle sobbing.
"I just never really agreed with the construct. I never have, I still don't. 'Til' death do us part is real for me', it's just all of the rules and all of the ideas. The accepted conventional definition of 'wife' in the paradigm, I'm not that."
Even today, Jada says that marriage is a social construct that she doesn't believe in but thinks that her mother made the right call and their 20-year marriage is nothing short of a miracle.
For anyone wondering how to build a relationship with longevity, Jada and Will say that the key is in communication. Early on in their relationship, they established that they would not raise their voices or use profanity in their communication with one another. Instead, they choose to walk away until they can respond with love. Will shared:
"I said Jada, this is the deal. I grew up in a household where I watched my father punch my mother in the face and I will not create a house, a space, an interaction with a person where there is profanity and violence. If you have to talk to me like that we won't be together. We're not gonna use any profanity in our interactions, we're not gonna raise our voice, we're not going to be violent. Because I can't do it."
"We never raised our voices, we took communication courses, all of that."
They explained that all things worth having are worth working for, and their miracle didn't come without healing some emotional wounds. This means being able to walk away when you're angry. The 47-year-old actress said:
"You really have to discipline yourself. For me, I had to discipline myself. And really handle that within myself and see, okay what are you angry about? And then come to peace and then go and talk to Will when I can actually have a commune conversation. Because really you're not communicating when you're talking to each other in anger. What I realize is like, you're beating up on someone you say you love, right? Versus, handle that with yourself. There have been plenty of times I've had to say, 'I can't deal with this right now'. Go through your thoughts, go cry, go curse, go kick a tree."
Jada and Will have been our #RelationshipGoals for nearly two decades, but they shared that grass is always greener, and celebrities aren't immune to marital issues.
Jada recalled one instance where she cried for 45 days straight, and Will didn't know or care to help. He shared that he even built her a house to feel better at one point, but later learned that he had only been building it for himself. Will said that although they were winning on the outside, they were losing as a family.
"As a couple, we are magical. We win in the material world. When we do it together, we win. 'The Karate Kid', 'Whip My Hair', 'Hawthorne', and the Nobel Peace Prize. Our family did that within a 6 month period."
"The only interview that Barack Obama did after winning the Nobel Peace Prize was me and [Jada]. Externally our family was winning. There was a period where [Jada] woke up and cried 45 days straight. It was every morning. I think that's the worst I've ever felt in our marriage. I was failing miserably, but on the outside, I was winning."
Despite their unique moments of crisis, it has been their common beliefs and intentions that have kept them together and are the reasons they will never divorce. One of the most important shared ideas they have is building and maintaining a successful family.
"Until this day, no matter what, family."
Check out the other secrets revealed during this week's Red Table Talk below!
- What Will Smith Taught Me About Setting Expectations - xoNecole ... ›
- Will Smith Talks Biggest Lesson Learned From 20 Year Marriage To ... ›
- THIS is the Reason Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith No Longer Say ... ›
- 6 Signs Your Partner Doesn't Love Himself - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith Thinks The Expectation Of Romance Ruins The Reality Of Marriage - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Signs A Man Doesn't Love Himself - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Make Your Marriage A Sanctuary - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Will Smith Made Jada Pinkett Smith Cry For '45 Days Straight ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith explains why she and Will Smith don't say they're ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith on Her 20 Year Marriage to Will Smith | Loose ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith reveals why she and Will Smith never got a ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith 'cried for 45 days straight,' husband Will Smith ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith on 'unconventional' Will Smith marriage | Daily ... ›
- Inside Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's 20-Year Marriage | PEOPLE.com ›
- Everything Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith Have Said About Marriage ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith Clarifies Open Marriage Statement: Will Smith ... ›
- Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith no longer say they are married ... ›
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Tyler James Williams Explains Why His And Quinta Brunson 'Abbott Elementary' Characters Should Remain Friends
While Abbott Elementary fans are hoping that Janine and Gregory end up together, the show’s star has another take. Tyler James Williams plays Gregory on the Emmy award-winning sitcom, and he recently stopped by The Jennifer Hudson Show to share his point of view on his storyline with Janine, which Quinta Brunson plays.
“I hate to say it. I know that everybody’s always mad at me for this. I don’t necessarily want to see them together,” he revealed. “It’s partially an actor’s choice, but also somebody who, like, I read a lot of scripts all the time. I watch a lot of TV, a lot of film. I don’t think that we see displays of platonic love between two people often. I think it’s really easy to go right to they have feelings for each other, therefore they should be together. I like this dynamic of exploring withholding that and just actively loving each other where they are. That I like to see more.”
If you recall, they were co-workers who became friends but were secretly crushing on each other. They’ve had many awkward run-ins during and after school, like the unforgettable club scene where they were dancing nervously with each other in season one, and in season two, they finally kiss. However, it only made things even more awkward, and they decided to just be friends. Tyler further explained why he thinks it’s important to showcase that type of relationship on screen.
“I think it’s time for that. I think TV allows people to see things that could be their lives for the first time, and I think seeing a healthy friendship that is deeply caring about one another in a work atmosphere needs to be shown more than the relationship,” he concluded.
Abbott Elementary comes on every Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST on ABC.
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Feature image by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images