

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Melissa's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
As we navigate today's racial pandemic and the symbolic gestures shared by public and private businesses and organizations, it is extremely important to move from symbolism to reality. Representation whether it's external through the vendors and services utilized, or internal through hiring, seniority and board service is a pivotal first step in inclusiveness and equity.
Over the last five years, I have served as a board member and Chair of the Board of Directors for a NYC-based organization enhancing the opportunities for children, families and social workers in the foster system, Fostering Change for Children. In 2020, I added to my passion for service by being invited and then appointed to the board of the National Job Corps Association.
In both cases, I am the only Black woman currently serving.
I knew this would be a factor, as oftentimes it is in corporate, but over time it occurred to me, that we just aren't aware of how to join a board—or it's simply something that we don't have those conversations about enough. I recently came across an article on xoNecole titled, "10 Black Women Pulling Up To The C-Suite On The Boards Of Fortune 500 Companies", and I knew I needed to share what I knew in the sector about this topic. So many of us could bring our voices to the table, for palpable change and contributions to building a more equitable society. Each one, teach one, right?
So, ladies, here's everything I know, detailed and outlined, to take that new leap in your career. I hope to see you all in the boardroom!
How To Get Started
Before we dive into this, let's answer this question: why do you want to be a board member?
Well, becoming a board member is an opportunity to exercise your passions, skills and knowledge outside of your everyday 9-5; sort of on an internal, progressive level. And the process may seem daunting if you don't know where to start.
Because I personally find deep and personal fulfillment in knowing that my decision-making and experiences are directly impacting the communities that reflect both me and my family, I decided to actually become active in researching the best ways to break into this sector.
I joined the United Way's BoardServe program, which provided me with a three-hour orientation on the inner workings of nonprofit boards, whether learning or presenting their fiduciary/monetary legal guidelines, or something as seemingly simple as taking minutes during a convening. I then completed a profile which identified my strengths (communications, branding, social impact) and interests (children, family, the arts). Following my profile creation, my data was shared with a number of organizations searching to onboard new members and then the "dating" process began.
It's important to remember that your time is valuable and your true commitment will be amplified by how connected you are to the particular cause. I engaged in approximately four meet-and-greet sessions over coffee with nonprofit CEOs who pitched me on their organization, their board member requirements and why they believed that I would be a great fit. There were some fantastic meetings, but some orgs either didn't speak to the heart of my interests, had time commitments that didn't fit my availability, or needed to do a bit more work internally before I felt comfortable lending my expertise and/or criticism to their environment.
And that's OK. We have to find what is a good fit for us.
You can search for board member training programs in your local community or identify your areas of interest. For example, when I search for organizations based in Memphis for the arts, it leads me to: https://www.artsmemphis.org/organizations. From there, I would research the Head of Advancement/Philanthropy or CEO, depending on the size and staff structure of the organization to express my interest.
Commitment Requirements
Monetary
Typical board commitments at a minimum is to give (donation) or get (solicitation through fundraising in your personal and professional networks) a financial gift. Not all organizations require board member financial obligations, but this is one of the first questions that you should ask before acting upon interest. Be certain that you can fulfill the financial commitment which can range from the low hundreds into tens of thousands of dollars depending on the board.
Time Commitment
Your next inquiry should be on the time commitment expected. Typically boards meet on a quarterly basis for 2-4 hours with breakout committees meeting in between. Based on my personal interests, I volunteer my time on the committees for events and communications which often consist of an additional two hours of phone calls each month and the work in executing our various events or deliverables.
Serving Period
The length of board service is dependent on the specific organization with some boards voting yearly on their members and others going as long as five years or indefinitely for seats. On average, you should expect to recommit every two years or to have your board use that as a marker of time served to allow someone new to come onboard.
Board Service Benefits & Development
Becoming a board member has expanded my professional network. While also a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority, and dedicating myself to a lifetime of service, I can now add my two board seats to my resume. Hiring managers will now view your commitment to service as a mark of responsibility, additional training, and professionalism.
Access is key to Black women shattering the glass ceiling.
By opening your circle's influence through board service and volunteerism, you can connect with additional and like-minded peers who can speak to your ability to get things done. That's what we are best at. It's up to us to validate our purpose. Nonprofit board service is a wonderful entry point into corporate board service, which in addition to opening your network, can also pay off in major dividends as board members are compensated for their time. Becoming a board member will align with your passion, connect with your community, and give you the very important opportunity to represent so many of us who've had muffled voices for generations; the voices of those who look like us.
Melissa C. Potter Monsanto is dedicated to standing at the forefront of impact, innovation, and social responsibility by using entertainment, media, partnerships and advocacy as a catalyst for social change. Follow her on Instagram at @melissacpotter to keep up with her journey or to ask more questions about starting your board journey.
Featured image courtesy of Melissa Monsanto
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by
Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Zach Hilty/BFA.com/Shutterstock