Why I'm No Longer Afraid To Rock Box Braids In The Boardroom
Remember the time, Malia Obama was spotted out and about in NYC sporting box braids? That "event" made it to a Harper's Bazaar headline.
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The blog and media flurry surrounding Malia's departure from her straight hairstyles brought me back to a conversation I had several summers ago on a balmy late-July day in the bustling café of my local Wegmann's. That day, I had a lunch meeting - not unlike many others I've had in recent years.
It was with a newly minted college graduate seeking career advice. In walks Lindsay, an incredibly bright, poised and (I soon learned) ambitious young lady. We talked about the ups and downs of college, our similar upbringings and, of course, plans for the future.
Roughly an hour had passed when Lindsay took a glance at my wind-strewn wash-and-go curls and after a brief pause said:
"Okay, so…this is my last question for you: How do you deal with wearing your natural hair at work?"
Admittedly, and with a tinge of embarrassment, I came to the realization that I was not qualified to answer.
I never wore my natural hair to work. For years, I spent virtually every other Saturday morning at my favorite Dominican salon, ensuring that I had perfectly bouncy and cascading curls, which I securely pinned up before leaving the shop, for work-week preservation of course. During weeks that I couldn't make it to get under the piping hot hair dryer, I'd rock a sleek bun with gel, bobby pins, and all the fixings to make certain that not a strand was out of place.
Although in many professional settings there aren't rules explicitly forbidding you from wearing natural hairstyles, it is hard to define, in practice, what those incredibly subjective employee manual buzzwords about "grooming" mean, particularly for women of color. No, really, what is "neat" hair?
Who defines that norm and what it looks like for different people?
Not to mention the stares and slew of unsolicited inquiries about "How you got your hair to do that?" are enough to make anyone feel like a museum exhibit and often act as a deterrent from embracing natural styles in the workplace.
And so, with all the uncertainty, the quest to navigate natural hair office politics rages on for many women of color behind the scenes. In their private conversations with friends, in group chats, and in small grocery store cafés with mentors. Whether it's a student trying to figure out what's an "appropriate" style for an interview, or a seasoned professional wondering if braids would change their colleagues' perception of them in a boardroom meeting, the questions persist.
Lindsay had come that day with the goal of gleaning some information and guidance from me and my experiences, but unbeknownst to her, she ended up being the catalyst for a major eureka moment for me. Lindsay had everything going for herself and a world of opportunity at her fingertips; she was someone that any organization would be lucky to have.
Her question, for me, drove home the notion that the very last thing she (or any young girl like her, for that matter) should have to worry about after successfully completing college and navigating a tough job market, is how comfortable (or uncomfortable) her hair texture would make others.
The thought alone of how preposterous this sounded encouraged me to switch up my routine.
These days, the office gets whatever protective style I'm feeling at the moment (lately, I've grown obsessed with box braids). One day, wearing natural hairstyles won't stir up a media blitz like it did for Malia or be the source of angst for young women of color starting a new job.
Until that day though, representation matters and so I hope that in the mean in between time, I'll be the smiling curly-headed coworker or braided boss that greets a new intern and just by virtue of embracing my natural self, encourages him or her to do the same.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissons@xonecole.com.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Chantal Kai-Lewis is a Maryland-based attorney with quite a lot to say. In her spare time, she is a current events and pop culture junkie, avid reader, traveler, and a rap and old-school R&B enthusiast. Keep up with her on Instagram @c_kai or on her blog site breifcasesxbowblouses.com.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage