Black Boy Joy: How A Mom And Son Turned Trauma Into Advocacy
We've all seen the hashtags. The #BlackBoyJoy movement has been an inspiring, empowering, and refreshing one to watch. On social, we see the lighter side of our kings as fathers, bosses, lovers, mentors, and friends, and with that has come a wave of brothers exploring all the dimensions of themselves that venture far beyond the typical black male stereotypes. Part of that conversation and celebration of black manhood involves facing the issue of mental health, with men showing it's OK to be emotional and cope with addictions and illnesses.
Kelli Richardson Lawson, founder of The Sonrise Project, has watched this manifest in her own family. Her platform provides a safe space and community for parents or guardians to explore mental health issues with their loved ones. As a wife and mother of two sons, she faced challenges with her eldest, Kyle, a 17-year-old who began to show behavioral changes related to depression and drug use in his early teens. Right before his entry into high school, Kelli said, Kyle lost interest in swimming, a sport that he loved and was excellent at---so excellent that he was invited to train for the Olympics and set to earn college scholarships.
"He came home and said he didn't want to swim anymore," Kelli explained. "We started to see him change. We thought it was typical teenager stuff. He [was just] going into high school, so [we thought] this is what they do. They become moody, they start just hiding out in their rooms all the time---all of that. What we didn't realize was that he was starting to experiment with drugs, specifically marijuana. He was 15."
Courtesy of Kelli Richardson Lawson
With time, Kyle's behavior became "progressively worse," and he'd lock his bedroom door, become defiant, and experiment with marijuana. "Previously, he was a straight-A student, a happy kid---an easygoing, happy young man. Things suddenly changed---his grades, his interest in school. Even his friends started to change," Kelli recalled. She and her husband, Keith, decided that they needed to seek help to figure out what was going on, so they consulted a mental health professional. The two had already been familiar with therapy, having participated as a family with Kyle and his younger brother, Kristopher. Through testing, Kelli said, it was discovered that Kyle was indeed dealing with depression and faced challenges of ADHD in addition to the consistent marijuana use.
The Lawsons are among thousands of families of color impacted by mental health issues. African Americans are reported to be 20% more likely than other groups to face "serious mental health problems," suicide rates have been on the rise---particularly for black boys and teens---and black men experience damaging professional and personal effects of major depressive disorder (MDD) at a higher percentance than white males.
Kelli and her husband continued to seek professional help via psychologists and psychiatrists, and they eventually enrolled Kyle in special boarding programs where he could get consistent access to therapy and life skills lessons. "Many of my friends say, 'Kelli It's just weed. it's just weed.' Yes, one could say that, but there's also the mental [health] component that is really challenging, so we're working through both of those things."
Image Courtesy of Kelli Richardson Lawson
Though Kyle has seen his ups and downs in behavior, grades, and marijuana use, Kelli said, today, he is progressing step by step, looking forward to his senior year of high school and applying to colleges. "He loves music and he is creating all kinds of songs all the time," she said. "He wants to be a musician and he's talented. He's doing online classes and a handful of courses from his school, and we're taking it day by day, trying to help him stay clean and stay well."
Kelli wanted to help other parents and that's where the idea of The Sonrise Project came from. "The project is really meant to be a space for parents [with children who have] mental illness and addiction issues," she said. "What I found going through all of this over the past couple of years is that there are really no places to talk, share, learn and cry and to have a sense of community. It's a huge issue."
"Our community still has a stigma associated with mental illness, and no one wants to talk about it. I learned, through many of [the mental health] programs, the power of talking with other parents who are going through the same things, and so that's what this is supposed to be."
Through her platform, families can participate in free weekly chats where they can share their stories and ask questions. "We have calls [in the morning], and they're confidential," Kelli explained. "I'm not an expert in this. I can only share my journey, but there's an expert---a psychiatrist, psychologist, or an education specialist---on every call."
The platform also provides information on mental health resources, and it has even evolved to expand its reach. "Because I wanted to make sure my family gave permission to do all of this and that Kyle was OK sharing his story, we talked about it. [Kyle] wanted to change some of the language, and I did. And he also said, 'Mommy this is not just black boys. It's all boys.' I said, 'Good point.' I've even had multiple women reach out saying, "I'm having issues with my daughter.' The bottom line is it's a place for people to come together to have an outlet to share, to listen, to learn, and to go through this together."
For more information about The Sonrise Project, you can visit their website here.
Featured image courtesy of Kelli Richardson Lawson
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Recently, I watched Ayesha Curry and Lindsay Lohan on Hoda & Jenna discussing their new Netflix film Irish Wish. While they play BFFs in the movie, they also revealed that they were besties in real life. In fact, Ayesha and Steph Curry are godparents to Lindsey and her husband, Bader Shammas’ son Luai. I may be late to the party, but it got me to thinking: what other celebrities have other celebrities as godparents to their children? If you were wondering the same thing, then look no further. Below is a list of celebrities you may not have known were godparents.
Steph and Ayesha Curry and Lindsay Lohan
As I mentioned, this celebrity couple serves as godparents to Lindsay’s son. The actress and author, who is expecting her fourth child with the NBA champ, opened up about it on LIVE with Kelly and Mark. “Anytime somebody honors you and bestows that upon you, one, I’m like thank you ‘cause that means that you think I’m a semi-decent parent, but two, I’m just excited to have a hand in raising him and helping shepherd him in the right direction,” Ayesha said.
Zoë Kravitz, Marisa Tomei, and Cree Summer
Zoë Kravitz (L) and Cree Summer (R).
Photo by @iamcreesummer/ Instagram
Lisa Bonet enlisted a couple of her A Different Worldco-stars to be godmothers to Zoë Kravitz. Marisa Tomei and Cree Summer are both the godmothers of The Batman star, and they all appear to have a close relationship with each other.
Cicely Tyson and Lenny Kravitz
Legendary actress Cicely Tyson was Lenny Kravitz's godmother and the two shared an inseparable bond. When she passed in Jan 2021, the singer wrote a long, loving tribute on Instagram. "With inimitable style and grace, my dear Godmother Miss Cicely Tyson made her grand exit to the heavens. She lived a remarkable life up to the last moment," he began. "A true pioneer, who bared her heart and soul so we could witness the spirit of the characters she so brilliantly portrayed, which continue to move and inspire generations."
He continued, "A Black queen who showed us how beautiful black is," continued Kravitz. "The love between us was and is tremendous. As long as I have had consciousness, I've known Godmother. She and my mother were kindred spirits. Sisters. And after my mother passed, Godmother's role in my life was amplified." He concluded his post by saying how he spoke to her days before she passed and how she sent him her memoir Just As I Am.
Cicely Tyson, Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry (L) and Oprah Winfrey (R).
Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Getty Images for Warner Bros
Cicely also served as Tyler Perry's son Aman's godmother. But she didn’t have that role alone. Oprah Winfrey is also Aman's godmother. When the filmmaker visited The Real eight years ago, he talked about being a new dad and shared the best advice Oprah ever gave him. “I think the best advice that she’s given me is about just living in the moment. Just be present in what’s going on within your life."
Tyler Perry, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry
Speaking of Tyler Perry, the Madea creator is the godfather to Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s daughter Princess Lilibet Diana. Tyler opened up about receiving that honor in the couple’s Netflix docuseries. "I had to take a minute to take that in," he said. “I thought, 'I'd be honored. I'd absolutely be honored.'”
Usher and Ben Vereen
Usher (L) and Ben Verneen (R).
Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images
Tony award-winning actor and dancer Ben Vereen is the godfather to “Superstar” singer Usher. While visiting The Kelly Clarkson Show in November 2021, Ben opened up about their relationship and revealed whether or not the multi-platinum artist takes his advice. “I love giving advice. He just don’t take it,” he said. The Roots star also joked about Usher stealing his moves for his “You Make Me Wanna” video.
Nicole Richie, Quincy Jones and Michael Jackson
When famed singer Lionel Richie adopted Nicole Richie, he bestowed the illustrious title of godfather to two fellow legends, Quincy Jones and the late Michael Jackson. Lionel frequently collaborated with both Quincy and Michael throughout his career.
Star Jones and Vanesa Bell Calloway
Vanessa Bell Calloway (L) and Star Jones (R).
Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images
Divorce Court judge Star Jones is the godmother to both of Vanessa Bell Calloway’s daughters, Ashley and Alexandra. They are also all sorority sisters as they are members of Alpha Kappa Alpha.
CeCe Winans and Bobbi Kristina
CeCe Winans was the godmother to Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina. The gospel legend spoke about dealing with Bobbi’s death in an interview with Toledo’s The Blade. "I don't think there's any words to describe a loss like that. I still can't believe it.
“At the same time, I guess you're just not surprised when drugs are involved in anybody's life," she said. "Most of the time it doesn't turn out well. I pray for the family. I still can't believe Whitney's gone, but now to see that Bobbi Kris is gone too … you just can't even come to grips with it."
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Feature images by Momodu Mansaray/WireImage, Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Academy Museum of Motion Pictures