Everyone thinks that since some people are extremely outgoing, that everything is all good with that person. But, even the strong friend goes through private battles sometimes.
As someone who is an extrovert, I've been the outgoing, lively, people-loving person of the group. As an extrovert, I've also dealt with depression for a very long time.
Model: Fontaine Felisha Foxworth Photo: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
My exterior is genuine, but it is often an armor for how I've dealt with my personal despair and feelings of alienation from others throughout the years. Contrary to popular belief, extremely extroverted people are the greatest empathic observers of life, however, they don't always show it.
If you are someone who is always the life of the party, the storyteller, the comedian, the wild card, or the most outspoken person in the group, it's likely that you may be used to everyone thinking that you are rarely sad or feeling blue. Perhaps you're like me and your extroverted ways cover up some very private woes that you seem to handle alone.
No matter how alone you feel, understand that you are important, you are loved, you matter, and you are on this earth for a reason. Depression is very real and can often lead to feelings of defeat, but it isn't impossible to overcome. The following list include ways that I, as an extroverted millennial empath fight my own battle with depression and how you can too.
Shout & Cry It Out
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
When I'm feeling weighed down by sadness, sometimes it helps me to let it go by screaming as loudly as I can. This is obviously something you do in the privacy of your own home when no one is around, or out in nature where no one can hear you. Ask God, the universe, your spirit guides, or whomever you ask for guidance, for urgent help in your time of need. Tell them how you have been feeling, and what you have been going through. Curse at them if you have to! Demand answers! You might sound crazy to yourself, but you will feel 100% lighter once you let it go.
It might help to close all your windows, and sit in a closet to muffle the sound. Once you get the frustration out, tears may naturally fall, and you will feel a soothing release.
Dance Your Heart Out
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
In your room or private space, put on some music that makes you happy and stirs your soul. Allow your body to translate the rhythms, vibrations, frequencies, and emotions of the music. When you are extroverted, speech is not the only way that you express yourself. Through moving your body, you can nonverbally extend your extroverted nature. Sometimes going out and dancing can take your mind off any heaviness in your heart.
The mantra "dancing like nobody's watching" has lifted my vibration and helped elevate my low spirits. I show out when I'm dancing! Sometimes music is not even necessary. Dancing to the sounds of nature is very healing. Go to the beach or the park to release any pain you may feel by dancing. I like to record myself dancing and share it with the world. Express yourself and surrender to release.
Be Transparent On Social Media
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
One thing that extroverted people have in common is that they are very transparent about the many troubles in their lives. Being honest in this day and age can be hard to do when we are surrounded by such superficiality. If you have an Instagram or Facebook account, don't be afraid to speak your truth openly to others. As long as you are authentic, you will receive an outpouring of support from folks that you didn't even know are watching.
You inspire more people than you even realize. People like Cardi B and Letitia Wright are rising to success by gaining more than just followers. They are gaining empathy and support from people who are moved by their realness, extroverted individuality, and their willingness to speak their truth. You also never know who you could help get through their own tough times just by sharing your honesty.
Transmute Any Sadness Through Creativity & Imagination
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
One of the greatest things that got me out of one of the lowest depressive points in my adult life was the inspiration I received for a creative project I created, originally called Brown Girl Tarot. On top of becoming ill, I was experiencing what spiritualists call the "Dark Knight of The Soul." The depths of my despair was darker than anything I had ever experienced before. I was suicidal and malnourished. I stayed inside my house for days on end without eating or showering. It was as if I was in another dimension of pain and depression.
The only thing that saved me was expression of my imagination, visions, and dreams through divinely-inspired creativity. My bright future in lightworking, humanitarianism, writing, filmmaking, and entrepreneurship is what keeps me elevated. Out of that sinister darkness came light and healing through art, imagination, and spirituality.
Find Yourself Through A Spiritual Journey
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
Last but not least on this list, is the importance of experiencing a spiritual journey of enlightenment. I call my own ascension, "Finding Fontaine." By understanding the importance of the seven chakras in the human body, I was able to balance my energy to overcome ongoing depression. This is something that anyone, with any kind of personality, should utilize to overcome the darkness of depression. It takes work and dedication to constantly work with your aura to remain mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy.
You were given the personality that you have, on this earth for a reason. The universe makes no mistakes. Transmute all the alienation that you have ever felt in the past because of your outgoing qualities, to not only heal yourself first and foremost - but to be of service to the collective well-being of all humanity.
Once you embark on the transformative journey of spiritual ascension, your extroverted persona will only allow you to shine brighter as a beacon of light to others.
Are you the extrovert in your friend group? How do you overcome feelings of depression or sadness when everyone sees you as the "strong friend"? Let us know in the comments down below.
- What It's Like To Be An Extrovert With Depression | Thought Catalog ›
- Why Depression Symptoms Are More Common in Introverts ... ›
- The 4 Differences Between Introversion and Social Anxiety - Quiet ... ›
- Why Extroverts Are so Needy | Psychology Today ›
- How to Cope as a Highly Sensitive Extrovert | Psychology Today ›
- Coping with Depression: Tips for Overcoming Depression One Step ... ›
- Fifteen Simple Ways To Overcome Depression And Sadness ›
- How to Overcome Depression (with Pictures) - wikiHow ›
- Depression: 7 Powerful Tips to Help You Overcome Bad Moods ... ›
- 12 Steps To Overcome Depression ›
- 10 Natural Depression Treatments ›
- Overcoming depression | TED Talks ›
Those rumors were more than laid to rest when Jodie and Joshua went to the 2023 Oscars together earlier this year, and even more recently, when they celebrated her birthday together last month during the September unveiling of the Lotus Emeya.
Jodie Turner-Smith celebrates her birthday with husband Joshua Jackson at the unveiling of the new fully-electric Lotus Emeya on September 07, 2023 in New York City.
Brian Ach/Getty Images for Lotus
Despite seeming particularly happy and in love, perhaps the writing was already written on the wall even then. In the past, Jodie has been very celebratory publicly about her love for her estranged husband, even boldly recounting their love story for the books in a 2021 interview with Seth Meyers.
When Jodie and Joshua met, it was while at his birthday party in 2018. Their relationship was hot and heavy from the start, with Jodie openly noting that they began as a "one-night stand." During her 2021 interview with Seth Meyers, she jokingly referred to their love story as a "three-year one-night stand." She shared:
"First of all, I saw him before he saw me and when I saw him, I was like, 'I want that.' And then when he saw me, I just pretended like I didn't see him. He had to yell across the room to me, and I was wearing this T-shirt from a movie called Sorry to Bother You and [actress] Tessa Thompson plays a character called Detroit, and she has this T-shirt that says, 'The Future Is Female Ejaculation.'
"And so, he shouts across the room, 'Detroit!' He comes over and… does this really cute, charming thing that he does and just all night -- he just basically followed me around the party."
The couple were together from that moment forth, and even made things "Instagram official" less than two weeks later while on a dinner date. Joshua would later clarify to Insider that the night they met in 2018 was not a 'one-night stand' or a 'three-year one-night stand' like his then-wife joked but instead, it was "technically a three-night stand."
"It was sealed with a kiss that night and then we didn't leave each other's sides for, well, three years now," Joshua continued at the time.
In a July 2021 interview with Jimmy Fallon, Joshua dropped more details about the why behind getting married. He revealed that he didn't know he wanted to get married to Jodie until "the moment she asked me."
"She asked me on New Year's Eve. We were in Nicaragua. It was very beautiful, incredibly romantic, we were walking down the beach and she asked me to marry her."
He added, "I did not know [she would propose], but she was quite adamant and she was right. This is the best choice I ever made."
Joshua Jackson Reveals Jodie Turner-Smith Proposed To Him
Jodie received quite a bit of flack for proposing to Joshua because it goes against tradition and what society sees as acceptable for a woman to do to a man, and proposing isn't one of them. No matter how much time has passed, the viewpoints around who should do the proposing and who should be proposed to are still very traditional.
After being on the receiving end of such backlash, Joshua would later clarify to the media in a separate interview that it wasn't just Jodie's proposal to him that sealed the deal of them getting married, he proposed to her too. She might have initiated it, but Joshua followed through.
"I accidentally threw my wife under the bus because that story was told quickly and it didn't give the full context and holy Jesus, the internet is racist and misogynist," he explained to Refinery29 that same year. "We were in Nicaragua on a beautiful moonlit night, it could not possibly have been more romantic."
David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images
He continued, "And yes, my wife did propose to me and yes, I did say yes, but what I didn't say in that interview was there was a caveat, which is that I'm still old school enough that I said, 'This is a yes, but you have to give me the opportunity [to do it too].'"
"She has a biological father and a stepdad, who's the man who raised her. [I said], 'You have to give me the opportunity to ask both of those men for your hand in marriage.' And then, 'I would like the opportunity to re-propose to you and do it the old-fashioned way down on bended knee.' So, that's actually how the story ended up."
Joshua and Jodie would eventually marry in December 2019. Shortly thereafter, Jodie gave birth to the couple's first child, Janie, in 2020.
In a recent interview with Elle UK, Jodie shared the ways becoming a mother to Juno helped to heal her of her wounds from colorism she experienced in the past. "It's interesting because I had a lot of resistance to becoming a mother and, throughout my life, I always said if I were to have children, I wanted to have Black, Black babies so that I could affirm them as children with the love that I felt I needed to have been affirmed with by the outside world," Jodie shared with the outlet.
She continued, "Then I fell in love with my husband and we talked about having kids. I did have this mini pause, where I was like, 'She's going to be walking through the world not only having an experience that I did not have, but looking like people that, in a way, I'd always felt a little bit tormented by.' Now that I've got this little, tiny, light-skinned boss, I feel like it’s the universe teaching me lessons. I've been given a daughter who looks this way to heal my own conversations around colorism."
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Featured image by Amy Sussman/Getty Images
