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Your Guide To Finding Your Tribe In A New City
Making friends as an adult is hard.
It just is.
Growing up, our friends were made mostly out of convenience. Whether they lived down the block, or we saw them all day at school, you could meet your best friend in minutes. But now that we're older, busier, and seek more authentic connections, friendship-building can be challenging - especially if you relocate to a new city.
As someone who has moved to two major cities twice in just four years, I know this feeling all too well. After college, all my good friends scattered across the U.S., so I really had to start from square one. It's true that your vibe attracts your tribe, but sometimes you have to do a little more leg work to find your crew. Here are some suggestions on finding your new tribe.
Local Events
Friendships are formed for a lot of reasons, but the strongest basis for a friendship is shared interests. Therefore, seek out events where you might meet like-minded individuals. If you're into art, look up local art shows or sign up for a pottery class. If you're into sports, join a competitive club. You're bound to meet someone cool.
There are a few websites that will make finding local events a lot easier. I relied heavily on these sites my first few months in NYC and even now, I check occasionally to catch a cool gathering:
- I Don't Do Clubs - Events with young, black professionals in mind
- Time Out - Super reliable travel guide full of entertainment and culture
- EventBrite - Mostly party-oriented, but you can find some great gems here
There's an App for That
It wouldn't be 2018 if I didn't incorporate the digital world. These days, finding a friend is literally at that tip of your fingertips. Take a trip to the App Store and download the following:
- Meet-up - Even if you have a million friends, this is a great app. When I lived abroad, I joined a group called "N*ggas in Paris" and met some dope black expats and french people. The best thing about the app is the variety. From outdoor excursions to talks on tech, you will certainly connect with like-minded people.
- Bumble BFF - For some of you, this might sound weird, and yes, conceptually it is. But if you can swipe right on a man, you can do the same for a friend. Trying to make friends feels like dating anyway. Might as well use the same apps for it. *Kanye Shrug*
- Skout - The leading global app for meeting new people, this app prides itself on forming connections by serendipitous occasions. Made for solo travelers in mind, it connects you with people in your general vicinity for a quick meet up. Your new friend could be sitting in the same coffee shop as you!
Related: Black Book LA: The Black Millennial's Guide to Los Angeles
Church Groups
If you're religious and have already found a church home, this is a great place to meet people. But just attending church for a couple hours on Sunday will not do it. Join a ministry, the choir, or attend a day of service. As they say, friends who pray together, stay together!
Don't Discount Your Co-workers
I know we all try to separate work from social life but hear me out. Having the same career path is a strong enough commonality for a potential friendship. Not only will you have someone to vent to about your upcoming project, your boss, or that weird colleague you can't stand together, but you can also help each other professionally. Ask them to grab food with you on your lunch break or even after-work cocktails. You never know if a friendship will blossom!
Phone a Friend
Running out of ideas? Get a recommendation! Ask your friends if they know of anyone in your current city. Think of it as a friendship by referral. When I first moved to New York, my college friend suggested I link up with her best friend from high school and now we're like peas and carrots.
Unfortunately, nothing comes easy as an adult, including making friends. No one is going to come knocking at your door asking you to come out and play (if they do, call the police). It's a conscious effort.
Therefore, keep these things in mind:
Be Patient
Friendships, like relationships, take time. You're not going to meet your new bestie overnight. So just understand it may take a few months before the loneliness totally dissipates.
Don't Settle
Also akin to relationship advice, just because someone gives you a little attention and invests some time in you, doesn't mean you have to be friends! Make sure you actually enjoy that person's company and they're not just filling a void. I once went on a road trip with a girl I barely liked just because my options were limited. I won't divulge details on the trip but...it was a big mistake.
The expectations you have for a boyfriend should be just as high for a new friend. So aim high.
Be Your Own Friend
As I said in #1, it may take a while for you to find the right tribe. Therefore, embrace the solitude. You're in a new city, so explore it! You don't need a buddy to go to the museum or to check out that restaurant down the street. Get to know your new home from your own perspective.
I promise you, your tribe will come in due time.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- How To Make Friends As An Adult - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Done With Dating Apps? Here's How To Meet New People - xoNecole ›
- How to Make Friends in a New City | Greatist ›
- Moving to a New City: How an Introvert Made 200+ New Friends in ... ›
- 17 Smart Ways To Make New Friends When You Move ›
- The Secret to Making Friends in a New City | HuffPost ›
- How to Find Friends in a New City - The Everygirl ›
- How To Make Friends As An Adult / In A New City / After University ... ›
- 6 Simple Steps to Making Friends in a New City | Moving.com ›
- How to Make Friends in a New City | The Art of Manliness ›
Anndi Jinelle is a part-time creative and full-time corporate cog in the machine living in Brooklyn, NY. This 20-something spends most of her days going from coffee to wine, moving closer to her truth, and watching way more TV than is humanly possible. Catch her on Twitter @seranndipity.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Mariee Revere On Her History-Making Million-Dollar Sales And The Future Of MoonXCosmetics
If the name Mariee Revere sounds familiar, it's probably because you heard of her beauty and skincare brand, MoonXCosmetics, or you may have heard about her history-making achievement of making $1.8 million in less than eight minutes. But before starting her million-dollar brand, Mariee was just a teenager trying to cure her acne.
While she grew up in the skincare capital of the world, South Korea, Mariee didn't really experience breakouts until her senior year of high school. Like many people who get their first breakout, she didn't know what to do, and there weren't many products out there at that time. So she decided to experiment. What she didn't know was that what she came up with would ultimately be her ticket to success.
"When I graduated high school, I moved back to America, Georgia, and I ended up making, like, the oil, the Rose Galore oil, which is like the staple product of my brand. I don't know what made me make it, but I did, and it literally cleared my face up," she tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
"I end up selling it as a body oil first because, obviously, I'm 17, [and] don't have any background as an esthetician or anything like that. I just made a product that worked for me, but people bought it and was using it, and I reformulated it, and then it just stuck like with me."
While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
Photo courtesy
When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
"I want to say more reach than more like fast-paced sales. I do want that. Obviously, every girl wants that, but I do want to have a better overall reach for my brand because I did take two years off so I was able to learn, [and] study a lot of different things. See how things have changed from 2020 to now."
"I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more."
Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
"I could say, definitely get, like a right-hand man to help you within the process because that really was what helped me. I never had a job. I literally was 18 now, being like, you know, the boss of over 30+ employees at one point in time, and I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about no W-2s, no taxes, no clock in, clock out because all I [have] ever known was my brand," she explains.
"So I definitely partner with people who are very skewed and versed in those areas, and they helped me get through it. Even to this day, I still have my same person helping me with hiring, firing, [and] doing everything that I can right now because I'm still learning. But obviously people get jobs young, so they have way more experience than me, but still learning."
And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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