If you follow xoNecole on social media, you will notice that they are encouraging their followers to join the xoTribe. Currently, they have over 1,000 members so far and are encouraging more women to join the tribe. Before you roll your eyes and mumble, "Not another social media platform," I would urge you to give this one a shot. As I've gotten older, I find it challenging to find women that show an endless amount of support and make it a priority to give you the love and resources you need to help you "level up". As much as I love spreading and speaking knowledge, sometimes I admire listening and learning from other women of different backgrounds and their stories.
Growing up, I didn't see much of that in my community. Besides having family support, I've always felt I had to fight for my own once I left the comfort of my own home. Since joining the xoTribe, I can now say that the community of women exists. Through the xoTribe, I've learned so much about myself. I've also learned I don't have to suffer alone if I'm going through something. These women are a DM, a text, or a GroupMe message away. Although we all haven't met in a physical setting, I can say that these groups of women are my friends.
In case you need a little more push to join xoTribe, I'm here to provide you three reasons why it would be beneficial to you.
You meet like-minded women.
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On your journey through womanhood and self-discovery, it can be challenging to find women who are currently on the same journey. You are introduced to women from all backgrounds and ages to share experiences and tips on how to live your best life. What I love most about this app is that the members can create the premise of the app. We can create the content that we want to share with a community of women who you think would benefit from it. From personal stories, articles on parenthood, book recommendations, parenting, finances, and career, the xoTribe is a one-stop shop for endless information. What makes it unique is that you, yes, you can be a contributor.
Most apps or sites have staff creating what they think the viewers would want to see and hear. With the xoTribe you can share your expertise, your business ventures, or even ask a simple question like, "What are your plans for the weekend?" It is considered a safe space for women to go without judgment. Everyone who has joined has provided love and support that will encourage you to speak up on what's on your mind.
You get to connect with Necole Kane herself.
How many of you have had the luxury of speaking to the founder of your favorite hair care line, makeup line, or clothing line? Do you even know who these individuals are? With the xoTribe, you have access to message and communicate with Necole Kane herself, the founder of xoNecole. Not many people open themselves up to the public or to the people who continuously support them. Necole has done a fantastic job of making her presence known amongst the women in the community. She has given me sound advice that has opened my eyes to my endless possibilities. She is continuously sharing useful information and does a lovely job of encouraging all of us. I sometimes find it surreal that she is opening herself up and allowing us to be an inbox message away.
You gain exclusives to events that haven't been made public.
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The Pajamas and Lipstick virtual event was so much fun. As someone who doesn't go out much, it felt like I was out in the streets and having a night on the town. As a member of the xoTribe, any event that xoNecole hosts, you receive access to that event first. You are the first to know about all of the exclusive events before they are made available to the public. Some may be free, others may be at a discounted rate. It feels like a VIP pass to all the popular events.
If you are looking for a true sisterhood whose primary focus is to continually lift you and encourage you like a cheer section at an HBCU, then I would encourage you to join this beautiful tribe of women who leads with love.
Click here to learn more about how to join the xoTribe members community today.
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
