

In case you ever end up being a contestant on Jeopardy and there's a category that's devoted to nothing but honey, there are some things you should know. Honey has been hailed as being a sweet form of medicine and a powerful energy booster, ever since the beginning of time.
In order to make a pound of honey, bees must get nectar from over two million flowers. Each bee? It only makes one-twelfth of a teaspoon of honey in its lifetime. It's also reportedly the only kind of food that doesn't come with an expiration date. Not only that but honey is the only food that's produced by insects, and it's the only food that produces pinocembrin (an antibiotic that improves how your brain functions). Some of honey's health benefits include its ability to lower blood pressure, improve cholesterol levels and relieve coughing.
Yeah, honey is all kinds of dope. So, the next time you go to the store to pick up a jar of honey, get two. One for eating (local raw honey is best) and another for medicinal and beauty purposes. Which one is best for that? Manuka honey. Due to all of the antibacterial properties that this kind of honey has, it's great at quickly healing wounds, fighting tooth decay and healing a sore throat. Some studies reveal that manuka honey is even great at treating symptoms related to cystic fibrosis.
From a beauty standpoint, I've got 10 solid reasons why—although it's a little bit on the pricey side—manuka honey is definitely one of the best natural beauty products there is. (For the record, raw honey works well too. I'm going with manuka honey because it's the 2.0 of all honey types.)
1.Skin Moisturizer
Because honey has such a low pH balance to it, it's got the ability to remove all sorts of bacteria from your skin. As far as manuka honey is concerned, the high amount of antioxidants that's in it helps to nourish your skin. Although this kind of honey is powerful, it's also gentle enough to use on sensitive skin. If you use it on your face, after a week's time, your skin's texture will become noticeably smoother, all without clogging your pores in the process.
Some women simply apply a layer of manuka honey onto their clean damp skin, let it sit for five minutes and then rinse it off (then follow that up with adding a little sweet almond oil to their face before turning in every night). Or, if you'd prefer to make some DIY manuka body butter, click here to learn how.
2.Exfoliant
Something else that honey contains are amino acids which is why it's so good for your skin. Manuka honey is especially beneficial because it's a type of honey that contains a powerful antibacterial property known as methylglyoxal. The combination of the acids and methylglyoxal is what makes this honey an effective-yet-gentle type of exfoliant.
One way to get the most out of manuka honey is to make an exfoliating face mask. All you need to do is combine half of a mashed ripe banana with two tablespoons of manuka honey and half a teaspoon of ground cinnamon (you can also swap out the cinnamon for a teaspoon of baking soda if you'd like; it's also a really good exfoliant). Mix everything together, apply it to your clean and damp face and let it sit for 15 minutes. Then rinse, first with warm water and then cool in order to seal your pores.
3.Acne Treatment
On average, our body is made up of five million pores with 20,000 of them on our face. Each pore contains a follicle that has a hair and sebum (naturally-produced oil) in it. Too much oil, dead skin and/or bacteria in your pores can lead to an inflamed bump because the inflammation prevents the bacteria from escaping. Manuka honey is able to remove the bacteria and even slow down the pH balance surrounding your zits so that the healing process of your bumps speeds up.
All you need to do is mix a tablespoon of manuka honey with a couple of drops of fresh lemon juice (it is an astringent that can help to prevent acne scars) and five drops of lavender essential oil (it removes bacteria while soothing your skin).
Bonus Tip: Manuka honey is a fabulous eczema remedy too. There are many clinical studies to support the fact that it brings instant relief to dry, cracked and oozing skin. If you want to DIY some eczema cream, Dr. Axe has a cool recipe that's easy to make.
4.Acne Scar Fader
Technically, pimples are inflamed lesions that turn into wounds once you pop them (which is why putting stuff like toothpaste on them really isn't the best idea). Wounds are torn skin tissue that eventually turns into a scab and, usually a scar after that. An acne scar specifically happens when our body produces too much collagen in the effort to heal the wound; this leads to raised skin and discoloration.
If you apply a dab of manuka honey and sweet almond oil directly onto your acne scars, the properties in the honey will soften the scar tissue and even out your skin tone. The key is to apply the solution daily in order to get maximum results.
5.Dark Eye Circle Lightener
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There are alot of things that can lead to dark circles underneath your eyes—heredity, stress, allergies, sleep deprivation, too much sodium in your diet, excessive sun exposure and aging. Thanks to both the anti-inflammatory and bleaching properties in manuka honey, by applying a thin layer of it underneath your eyes (and letting it sit for 10 minutes or so before gently rinsing it off), it will increase blood circulation and boost collagen levels in that area. With this, you should start to see noticeable results in around 72 hours.
6.Hair Conditioner
Another awesome thing about honey is that it is a humectant (it pulls humidity from the air). This is a good thing to know if your hair is naturally dry. The high amounts of antioxidants and nutrients in manuka honey makes it the kind of ingredient that not only softens your hair but strengthens your hair follicles too.
If you'd like to give your locks a bit of a protein treatment while also keeping your tresses soft, combine three tablespoons of manuka honey with two tablespoons of avocado oil and one tablespoon of olive oil. Put everything into a microwave-safe bowl, use a whisk to make sure all of the ingredients are well-blended. Then zap the mixture in the microwave for 10 seconds and apply it to your hair, right after you've shampooed it. Let the mixture sit for 25 minutes with a plastic cap on your head, then rinse thoroughly and style as usual.
7.Lip Soother
There are all sorts of things that cause chapped lips. Although dehydration is probably the most obvious, humidity, sun rays and licking your lips too much (partly due to the bacteria that's in your saliva) can do it too. Since manuka honey is scientifically-proven to speed up the wound healing process (so much in fact that it's FDA-approved to do so) and tissue regeneration, that's why it does such a wonderful job at soothing and healing your lips.
If you want to make your own lip balm (complete with lavender and coconut oil), click here for the instructions. (You can also click here to buy some empty lip balm containers and here to purchase some small tin jars, if you'd prefer.)
8.Razor Bump Remover
Have you ever wondered what exactly causes a razor bump, it's this—whenever we cut our body hair, sometimes it tries to curl back and enter into the same pore; this is what results in an ingrown hair. This, combined with the dead skill cells that we're constantly shedding, can create quite the nuisance. The antibacterial properties in manuka honey is able to reduce the inflammation that razor bumps cause and remove the dead skin cells that are clogging up your pores.
The best way to use manuka honey to treat your razor bumps is to apply a thin coat of the honey directly on the bumps. Let the honey sit for 10 minutes and then rinse the oil while lightly massaging the bumps in an upward, circular motion. You should notice results within a day or so.
9.Nail Strengthener
Something that a lot of people are not aware of is how good honey is for your nails. Again, since it's got so many antibacterial properties in it, honey can help to heal toe fungus. Plus, it's awesome when it comes to restoring cracked cuticles and, it can strengthen your nails over time too.
Mixing a teaspoon of manuka honey, olive oil and apple cider vinegar is all you need to do. Apply the combo to your nails and cuticles, let it remain them for 15 minutes and rinse. If you do this twice a week, your nails will start to heal and your hands will become super soft as well.
10.Sleep Agent
Did you know that, according to a UCLA study on sleep deprivation, if you miss just one night of sound rest that it can age you? (Hey, that don't call it "beauty sleep" for nothin'!) That's why getting no less than seven hours of sleep is so important.
If you need a little help with, not only falling but staying asleep, don't turn in before swallowing one-half to one full teaspoon of honey (you can also put it into some caffeine-free herbal tea, if you'd prefer). What honey does is provide your liver with enough glycogen so that your brain is not "triggered" awake. In other words, honey literally gives you enough energy to stay sleeping. Plus, honey contains tryptophan; most of us know that it is an amino acid that is a powerful sleep aid too.
Yep, this is just one more reason to treat yourself and your beauty regimen to some manuka honey, just as soon as possible. I'm pretty sure you will absolutely love it—from head to toe.
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Originally published June 25, 2019
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Once upon a time, I knew a married couple who told me that they wouldn’t even discuss with each other who they found to be attractive on television because, in their minds, that was a form of cheating. They’re divorced now, and although there are a series of reasons why, it was always strange to me that things were so restrictive within their relationship that they couldn’t even share a fleeting thought about how someone looked.
Thinking about them kinda-sorta inspired this piece because they caused me to reflect on the times when some of my clients have come to me, semi-freaking out, and it was because their thoughts about someone had gone beyond “Hey, she’s pretty” or “Hey, he looks good.” Instead, they were starting to fantasize about certain folks, and they weren’t sure what to do about it, especially when some of those fantasies were transpiring while they were engaging in sex with someone else.
You know, it’s been reported that somewhere around 50 percent of people do indeed have fantasies about other people while having sex with another person. And that is definitely a high enough number to tackle some things about the topic here.
If you’re someone who fantasizes about other individuals, especially sexually, here’s some intel into why that could be the case, along with when it gets to the point and place where you might want to consider actually doing something about it.
What’s a Fantasy and What Exactly Causes Them?
Whenever you think of the word “fantasy,” what immediately comes to your mind?
Personally, what I find to be interesting is the fact that the dictionary says that there are actually a lot of things that can be considered a fantasy: your imagination, hallucinations, visions, ingenious inventions, illusions — I mean, there is even a genre of fiction that falls into the fantasy category. However, when it comes to what we’re going to discuss today, a psychological term for fantasy is “an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.”
And yes, before we get to the end of all of this, that definition is going to answer quite a few questions as it pertains to the topic of this particular piece. But first, more about the origin story of fantasies.
Apparently famed neurologist, Sigmund Freud spent some time analyzing fantasies and came to the conclusion that, more than anything else, a fantasy represents something that is either a suppressed urge or desire and when you stop to think about what you imagine, what your visions are, what you may long to invent — that certainly tracks. However, something that you should also keep in mind about fantasies is that, oftentimes, they are rooted in few boundaries and can even go well beyond what is considered to be reality (which is something that is based on facts and truth).
Oh, something else that needs to be kept in mind about fantasies is that they are typically relied on as a mental form of escape from something or someone (bookmark that).
And now that fantasies are more clearly defined, if your immediate question is, “Is it wrong to fantasize?” — no, I certainly don’t think that. What I do believe, based on what a fantasy is, though, is if you are fantasizing a lot about a particular person, place, thing or idea, it would be a good idea to ponder why that is the case — why is that a suppressed desire for you, why are you using that as a mental escape and perhaps, the most important question of all, does your fantasy come with any limits?
Now let’s build on top of this…
Now What Causes Folks to Fantasize About Other People?
As I was doing more research on the topic of fantasies, I came across an article entitled, “What Happens In Our Brains When We Fantasize About Someone.” The author of it started the piece out by talking about a cool connection that she made with someone on a plane, only for her to find herself fantasizing about him once they parted ways. As she went deeper into her story, she mentioned a word that definitely needs to be shared here: heuristics.
If you’re not familiar with it, heuristics is simply a mental shortcut. For instance, if you find yourself needing to make a quick decision (check out “Before You Make A Life-Altering Decision, Read This.”), you may rely on heuristics to do it (even if it’s subconsciously). The challenge with that is oftentimes heuristics will only provide you with a limited amount of data and information, and relying only on that could cause you to not make the best choice, if you’re not careful. And boy, when heuristics jump into your fantasy space — well, something that immediately comes to my mind is celebrity culture.
Ain’t it wild how people will be on social media, speaking so confidently, about someone—or someone’s relationship—as if they personally know them (when they absolutely don’t)? I mean, just because someone is attractive or you’ve seen them carry themselves well in an interview or two, that doesn’t automatically mean that they are the ideal person or that they are someone to set your own dating standards by. If you’re not careful, though, heuristics and fantasies may encourage you to think otherwise.
That’s because the combo will try and get your brain to jump to all sorts of conclusions and, if you don’t keep that in check, it could result in you making premature, counterproductive, or even straight-up reckless decisions — because remember, a fantasy tends to be about suppressing an urge or desire.
Honestly, whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are fantasizing about a particular individual, understanding why you are doing that should definitely be explored.
However, if you are with someone and you’re fantasizing about someone else, you really shouldn’t ignore what is transpiring because, although by definition, there’s a good chance that whatever and whomever you are fantasizing about will never come to pass, the fact that it’s taking up some of your mental and emotional space, that needs to be acknowledged. Because if there is something that you want or need, and you seem to believe that your fantasies are better at supplying that for you than the reality of your relationship, why is that?
Let’s keep going…
What Does (or Could) It Mean If You Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?
It’s pretty common that a random song will come to mind whenever I’m writing an article. Today? It was Guy’s “My Fantasy.” Then a sitcom did — King of Queens, and the episode when Doug and Carrie were talking about his sexual fantasies. The song is about images that the fellas randomly have about beautiful women. The episode was about Carrie wanting to dictate to Doug what and whom he could fantasize about because some of his sexual fantasies made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
And both of these are a pretty solid intro into whether there is something wrong with sexually fantasizing about someone, especially while having sex with someone else. Well, before getting into all of that, I think another article that I read on the topic brings up a pretty good point — that it’s important to think about where your fantasies are coming from: your imagination, things you see on social media, porn that you may have watched, people who you actually know…and if it’s the latter, is it someone from your past or someone from your present?
Yeah, knowing the source of your fantasies can definitely help you to understand how “deep” into your fantasies you might be.
What I mean by that is, seeing a beautiful man one time and randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him on some beach vacation is quite different than constantly thinking about your ex, the sex you used to have with him and then fantasizing about it For one thing, the beautiful guy, you will probably never have access to. That ex, though? Well, at the very least, that is a bit more realistic, right?
Then there’s the fact that, again, a fantasy is a suppressed urge or desire. When it comes to the beautiful man, is it his looks that you long for, or is it something deeper? And that ex of yours? Lawd, now why, when you have your own man in your own bed, is your ex “scratching some sort of itch”? Because we all know what they say — “he’s your ex for a reason,” so why is he creeping up into your intimacy space now that the relationship is over? Is something unresolved?
Are there sexual needs that he met that your current partner isn’t (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”)? Is something currently transpiring in your current relationship that you are using fantasies about your ex to escape from?
You see, although when it comes to the topic of fantasizing about others when you’re having sex with someone else might seem like the a cut-and-dried, “Don’t do it, end of discussion” — as someone who works with couples for a living, I think the bigger concern isn’t if another guy comes into your mind during sex with your partner…it’s more about WHY is that happening to begin with. Because if you need to escape from where you are, if you can’t be present with your partner, something is definitely up.
When Should You Be Concerned About the Fantasies You Are Having?
During the last several months of breaking up (because we all know that sometimes breaking up is a process) with the last boyfriend whom I will have in this lifetime, I recall fantasizing about other people while having sex with him. It’s because I really wasn’t attracted to or interested in him, sexually, anymore — but I was a bit fearful of what it would mean to let the entire relationship go.
And boy, is that a huge red flag because I wasn’t fantasizing about some random famous person one time during sex — I was relying on images, my imagination, and previous experiences with other people to literally get me through the act. NOT. GOOD.
Y’all, one of the greatest and most profound forms of communication and connection between two people is sexual intimacy, and so, when it transpires, it really should only be about the two of them. That said, should you freak out over a thought about someone who creeps up into your mind every once in a while? Chile, more people have that happen than they will ever admit out loud.
On the other hand, should you worry if you’re like I was? I’ll put it this way — you should definitely be concerned because the last thing that you should be feeling during sex with someone is like you are suppressing what you need and/or that you want to escape from the moments that you are experiencing with them.
And yet, if that is indeed the case, though, what should you do?
Start with doing some sex journaling. Write down your fantasies, the sources of them, and why you are leaning on them in this season (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). If they are tied to unrealistic situations, be real with yourself about that. If they are rooted in potential possibilities, do some journaling about how much you are “feeding into” that reality and what you think would be the wisest way to move forward, both for your sake as well as your relationship.
Talk to your partner. Each relationship is different, and so, while I’m not going to recommend that everyone just blurt out that they’ve been thinking about having sex with their co-worker or college sweetheart while having sex with their partner, I do think that the suppressed urges and desires (in general) should be mentioned. Sometimes, fantasies are birthed out of boredom (check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why” and “Common Sex Problems Couples Have (& How To Fix 'Em)”) and doing something like creating a sex bucket list (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”) can breathe new life into your bedroom.
Plus, sharing some of your deepest thoughts, feelings, and needs (in a kind, thoughtful, and mature way) can cultivate more emotional intimacy with your partner, and that can definitely be a good thing.
Consider seeing a sex therapist. If, after doing both of these things, the fantasies seem to be getting stronger and louder, you might need to make an appointment with a reputable sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). They may be able to help you to “connect some dots” about what’s going on that you wouldn’t have considered without their help, because sex therapists are trained in helping individuals sort out the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, not just the physical ones.
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Are fantasies bad? They aren’t. However, when it comes to sexual ones, a quote by Benjamin Franklin absolutely comes to mind: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
And that, right there, should be a guiding message for how you should process the fantasies that you do have.
Amen? Sho’ you right.
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